#cory pitzner

“Well, this is a predicament.” TDK thought, the left side of his body falling asleep under a passed out Blackguard. 

Cory Pitzner and Richard Hertz had been dating since the day the squad ate shit, jokingly started as a half assed pact TDK agreed to when Blackguard was complaining about having to die single. But even after they came back from the mission alive, neither of them ever called off their makeshift relationship. 

In the end, TDK got away with a few bullet holes riddling his arms and Blackguard somehow escaped with just a nasty looking scar on the left side of his face. (As well as a broken nose from Boomer knocking him out for being a rat). Luckily, there wasn’t any bad blood between them, Rich already having explained how Waller promised to completely wipe his sentence in exchange for him playing the part as a distraction so Squad B could sneak in. 

The others relented a bit more after that, knowing if they’d gotten the offer they’d probably have taken it too. 

But that was four months ago. Now, instead of being cooped up in Belle Reeve, Squad A found themselves in a situation similar to the one that’d been offered to Squad B. The opportunity to live in an apartment complex together as a reward for risking their lives (even though they technically failed, Savant drove a hard bargain).

That’s how TDK found himself in his current situation. 

Alive, on the apartment’s communal couch, and with his technically kinda somewhat boyfriend gripping his arm like Boomer did to that unicorn when he thought no one was looking. 

Now, he had three options. 1: let him sleep and possibly lose all feeling in his arm unless he wanted to detach it, which, was kinda a pain to do for long periods of time, 2: wake him up by pushing him off the couch, or 3: draw dicks on him and take photos to send to the group chat and only maybe get killed by him later. The nice thing to do would be to take the L and choose option 1, but option 3 was looking plenty more enticing, if it were anyone else he would’ve chosen option 3 the second they were confirmed to be asleep. 

Yet something was stopping him. Maybe it was how comfortable Rich’s face looked squished against his arm, or how his mouth quirked up into a cat-like smile, or how his eyeliner was beginning to smear, or how his hair, which he’d let get a bit longer, started to let wispy strands that couldn’t be contained within his black hair tie fall across softened features and oh god Cory really was in love with him. 

When the fuck did this happen? 

Reaching out with his free hand, Cory gently carded his fingers through his kinda boyfriend’s choppy, blonde hair, something he could only do when Rich was either asleep or too tired to say anything other than a snarky one liner. His hair was soft, the tips sticky with product that’d come out by this point in the day. 

He’d never thought he’d be like this, domestically laying around, not having to worry about suicide missions unless Waller really needed them. It was, nice. 

“TDK?” Cory flinched as Rich stretched himself out, letting out a strained groan before curling back into his previous position. 

“Mornin’ Dick Hertz.” Cory tested his luck and continued practically petting Rich, only receiving a grumble in response to the ‘Dick Hertz’ comment and the blonde pushing his head closer to Cory’s arm. 

“Hey, so like, I was thinking- hey don’t fucking fall asleep again.” Cory flicked the drowsy gunsman in the temple as he noticed his eyes beginning to reclose. 

“What the hell dude?” Rich jolted, giving a look that made it out like Cory was the bad guy in the situation and not him, the one crushing his teammate and trapping him in couch hell. 

“So, um, what are we exactly? Like are we dating? Or just friends? Or…?” 

“Yeah.” Rich said, nonchalantly. “We’re practically married.” With that he laid back down, changing his positioning so his head lay on Cory’s lap, snuggling into his thigh and going back to sleep. 

“Now don't fucking wake me up or I’m dumping you.” 

“Wait what?? No, don't fucking fall asleep! Rich? Richard?? Dude?!” 

Blackguard: I'm an idiot.

Javelin:

TDK:

Boomerang:

Mongal:

Harley:

Weasel:

“The Suicide Squad” opening, but it’s Mr.Blue Sky

Javelin: I told Blackguard his ears flush when he lies.

TDK: Why?

Javelin: Look. Hey Blackguard! Do you love us?

Javelin: Don't worry, I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!