DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE RUI KAMISHIRO A BLENDER.
authorâs note: I fucked up one smoothie like a year ago, wrote this, never posted it. Now is the time for it to shine.
platonic wondersho x reader, oneshot, swearing, appliance destruction. Click readmore for the nonsense.
Itâs the weekend (thank god), and like usual youâre spending the time in what you insist has to be the worst way possible- helping out at Wonder Stage.
You canât even remember who dragged you into it originally- you used to do theater with Nene, you sat next to Emu in class last year, and of course you know Rui and Tsukasa. Everyone from Kamiyama High knows Rui and Tsukasa. Point is, you never had much of a friendship with any of the cast.Â
So why in godâs name do they keep inviting you here?
Sure, you might have stopped a fire on the stage⌠and you might have rat-proofed backstage⌠and you might have bandaged Tsukasaâs arm when he scraped it against an unsanded prop. (Who even leaves their props unsanded? You spent the next few hours sanding almost every wood prop the stage had.)Â
You realize now theyâre probably using you.Â
âWeâre what?â
Nene looks up from her console and stares directly at you.
You also realize you said that out loud.
âYouâre using me for my common sense and basic safety knowledge?â
Youâre not the kind to just⌠dismiss something you said like that. Youâll hold yourself to it even if, like in this case, it gets you in a bit of trouble.
âWeâre not using you for your common sense! Iâve got that as well!â
Nene sounds very annoyed. Youâre wondering how long itâll be until she just kicks you out.
âWeâre using you for snacks.â
Theyâre- what?Â
ââŚUnderstandable.â
You probably should have thought of that before. Theater kids (itâs no stretch to call the cast that) do love their snacks.Â
And speaking of snacks-
âI brought something special for this rehearsal! Fufufu~â
You and Nene share a look of âOh Fuckâ and just watch as Rui carries a cardboard box into backstage. Tsukasa follows behind carrying a mini fridge.
âI thought we needed more food stuff back here! I mean, we need snacks between rehearsals, donât we?â
The smile on Ruiâs face shows how clearly pleased he is- you donât want to ruin this for him.
Youâre hesitant to mention the miserable past history of cooking supplies at Wonder Stage.
First was the first fridge- that one unfortunately molded over due to someone storing costumes over it. Nene didnât mention names⌠but the tone she used made you think it was probably Tsukasa.Â
Next was the mixer and oven. No, not a convection oven, like one meant for smaller living spaces. Rui brought a whole fucking restaurant oven to the Wonder Stage and thought it was a good idea. The mixer you actually thought would be fine (not like you were there to have a say). However Nene and Tsukasa made Rui throw out the oven because they knew that would be a violation of fire safety codes the world over.Â
Of course the mixer got co-opted into practical effects.
Poor Emu only got to bake with the supplies once.
And so continues a long and troubled history with appliances, all conveyed to you backstage by whatever member happened to be hanging out with you at the time. Overall, there were:
Three failed fridges,
One failed oven,
Two failed sinks,
One entire air fryer,Â
Five ice makers,
And countless random small kitchen toolsÂ
That met a grisly end at the stage.Â
Somehow one (1) microwave survived all of this appliance carnage. Youâre thankful for that.
By the time youâd heard the third story youâd gotten the idea that bringing cooking supplies was a bad idea.Â
And here Rui is, clearly not sharing that opinion, all smiling and cheerful. He places the box down, helps Tsukasa with getting the fridge set up, then takes his next victim out of the box.Â
A blender.
âSomeone is going to get injured.â Nene quite literally blurts this out.Â
âNooo! Iâll make sure of it. You have my word!â Rui is very convinced about this, you doubt you can change anything here.
âWell then, how long do you think this one will last?â You jokingly ask Nene.
âHmm⌠I give it a day at most.â
Ruiâs getting ingredients out of the fridge.
âI change my mind. Fifteen minutes.â
You get up, not wanting to witness this- you head instead onto the stage, deciding to hang out there. Emuâs practicing dances to herself and singing bits of the songs under her breath- you make sure to sit somewhere where you wonât interrupt her.
Unfortunately, you can still hear the chaos backstage.
âI bet I could put soda candies in here!âÂ
Rustling, the sound of Rui opening a bag of something.
âTheyâll break the blades. Too hard.âÂ
Tsukasaâs voice, the sound of that bag promptly being closed and a whole new one being opened.
âBut if we dissolve themââ More bag rustling.Â
âThis thing has trouble enough with frozen fruit. Letâs just stick to that.â Itâs odd to hear Tsukasa as the voice of reason.
âFine. But I have no doubt it would work.â
The sound of something being poured into the blender.Â
âThat is⌠I think you should have stopped at the capacity line.â Neneâs voice now. It seems Rui has an audience.
âNo! Itâll work fine.â
Aggressive blender noises and occasional mumbling you canât make out continue for the next five minutes.Â
âFine, maybe the fill line is there for a reason. But Iâm sure itâll work if we just keep trying!âÂ
âDid⌠we didnât add juice, did we?âÂ
A collective âOhâŚâ resounds from backstage. The sound of a fridge door opening and what sounds like an entire carton of juice being poured into the blender.Â
More blender noises. By now Emu has noticed this and stops cartwheeling around stage.Â
âWhat are they doing back there? Sounds fun!â
âUh⌠Rui brought a blender. From the sound of it, heâs never used one before.â A motor roar sounds out, punctuating this statement.
âOoh! Is he perhaps making a concoction?â
âI did not ask him and I do not want to be around to witness.â
âWell- I do!â
Emu bolts backstage, leaving you alone on the stage.Â
The blender noises stop, and now you can slightly smell smoke.
âLooks like having the blades spin without making contact with anything is messing with the motor⌠I should-â
âWe are working with food at the moment, you can dissect the blender later.â You still arenât used to a reasonable Tsukasa.
âDonât dissect the blender! I want to make potions with it!â Emuâs voice⌠god you hope they let her have it.
âFine⌠Iâll settle for dissecting one of these backstage fans, theyâve got the same sort of motor- Hey! Give that back!â
Sounds like someoneâs taken something. The sound of stirring.
âThis should help. Though⌠with the sheer proportions of this drink I doubt anything can help.â Nene says, with a grimace audible in her tone.
âTrust me! Itâll work out! Now hand it over!â
âNot to Tsukasa, to-â
The sound of the blender running again cuts Rui off, though this time the sound of what has to be some sort of mechanical malfunction cuts it off after around 30 seconds. A loud squeak from Emu, a yell from Tsukasa, and a muttered âtold you soâ from Nene.Â
The death toll of Ruiâs curiosity now includes one blender.
















