#corpsecore

Fun stops, when racing reaches a standard agenda then deviates back.

Writing is unresting, (unarresting, too) when it is taken from a fleeting idea and creates forward-facing-flat.

!! This is speculation of how my past lives could have been like. These aren't memories, merely guesses based on current life feelings, guesses that are very exaggerated for poetic purposes.

I think I've had multiple forms before. As Death, purely Death, I was merely a shadow. I had hands that looked nothing like anything you could imagine. I had a face that looked like nothing anything could ever picture. My body was void. I had no form, I was a shapeless wanderer amongst shaped creatures.

Whenever I had to be something, I was everything. I was so bad at resembling a life-like being that I was every being and no being at all. I had so many eyes, because they were captivating. I was made of skin and fur and my hands were big.

Then I was a creature. I was something that resembled the new, the unexpected, I made people feel refreshed whenever I caused the shock of first sight. I had a tiny head, a body covered up by a big fur coat, thrown over my shoulders. I had horns. I really liked them.

I think my own mind pictured me, because once I became in touch with Life, I was living. I became a being with wings, with antlers, with beautiful eyes and a wholesomely alive face. I had a face, for the first time. I think I was a boy. I think I was the happiest of the saddest.

Whenever I became fully human, I was terrified of myself. I looked fake, unreal, but like I was a person. An unsettling person. With an unsettling face. Beautifully sad. The prettiest of all. It was when I learned to kiss so I could take away a human life efficiently enough. It was when I decided to wear my third eye and see shadows. It was when I found out people were drawn to me, like I was a siren, singing in a mute voice. It was when I became fascinated by my work. It was when emotions hit me harder. It was when I became too human amongst human life.

I still have horns. I feel like I could have beautiful wings. I don't know where my eye went, but I am now terrified of the shadows. What happened? Why? Why? Why?