#cooking classes

“It’s...omurice…you know food? You didn’t forget about food while sealed away, did you?”  You attempt to go back to what you were doing.  The curse tuts in annoyance before he grabs you by the scruff of your neck and jabs a finger at your dish like you were a disobedient pet.  

“The fuck?  I’m not some ca- “

“You call this food?! I’ve seen curses that look better than this!” He grabs the dish from the table and proceeds to point out every component in your dish.  Each critique felt like a bullet to your pride as the curse lists off each sin.  

“You cut the vegetables too big and almost caused the brat choke on it!  The vegetables are undercooked and lack any flavor!”

“You overcooked the egg, the signature component!  Are you trying to cook food or create rubber!  I could use this egg as a frisbee!” To emphasize his point, he proceeds to grab the egg and throw it out the window.  A loud crash from the distance could be heard followed by the blare of a car alarm.

Sukuna then proceeds to slam the plate again on the coffee table and scoop some of the rice to shove in your face.

“And how?!  HOW?! How do you manage to make the rice both SOGGY and DRY at the same time!”  Sukuna gags from the disgusting memory and grabs your glass of water to drink.  “And its over salted…. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought you were trying to kill him.”

“Well Yuji seemed to like it!” You crossed your arms and turned away from him with a huff. “He always eats what I serve him.”

And that’s true.  Some days when Yuji visits from Jujutsu Tech, you go out of your way to make him food because you wanted an excuse to have him stick around longer.  Yuji, the sweet cinnamon roll he is, gladly accepts any of your meals and always finishes them without complaints.

“That brat would eat cardboard soaked in milk if you served it to him!”  To add salt to the wound, he summons his flames and burns what remains of the omurice to ash.

“Well, what would you know about cooking?  I doubt terrorizing the province from back then gives you five-star qualifications!” You huffed.

“I don’t need five of these five “stars” to teach a worm like you how to not poison a man.”  He storms away from you to escape into the kitchen.

“Worm, I sho- wait what?” You gawk at him in confusion as he disappears behind the counter and emerges with an apron.

“Get in here!  NOW!” An apron flew into your face and nearly knocks you out from the sheer force.

You mumbled complaints under your breath as you tied the apron on before you joined Sukuna in the kitchen as he sets up his station and laid out the knives.

The next hour becomes the worst series of cooking lessons of your life as you endure insults of all kinds as he demonstrates how to properly cook.  

The curse chops the vegetables with surprising skill that rivals the chefs you see on tv.  You copied his movements to the best of your ability and find yourself enjoying the steady sound of the knife meeting the cutting board.

Then the real cooking phase starts and it all goes down from there.

“You added to much oil to the pan!”  The curse throws a paper towel at you and forces you to clean up the pan.

“You need to turn down the heat!”  He takes the pan to cool down as he turns down the oven knob.

Despite the king’s best efforts, you still find a way to burn the egg due to you scrolling through your phone.

As punishment, he takes your second overcooked egg and slaps it on your head.  Tears leaks out the corners of your eyes as you try to gather what sense you have left.

“WHAT ARE YOU!” The king of curses grabs you by the jaw and forces you to look him in the eyes as his nails dig into your cheeks.

“An omu-iot…” You cry out as he tightens his grip with a threat.  “An omu-iot, Sukuna-dono!”

Despite the rough treatment, despite all the insults, and almost getting your face cut to ribbons…