Anonymous: I appreciate the feedback. I get what you're saying. Sometimes I find it confusing and maybe my impatience why Women I'm attracted to don't love Jesus. Christian girls are either stuck up or just not my type... I've in the past forced myself to like sisters because they were nice to me and in many ways I'd given up. Non Christian girls seem to be a lot nicer which makes me sad because maybe they are acting fake or Christian girls only talk to guys they like.. I know God won't give me an ugly bride, but on most days it feels like it.
My Reply:
Don't worry, I am also in a season of patience. I have asked several women of God out, and in my experience they're less receptive of advances in general. I could probably get a date much quicker if I didn't have the standard of pursuing a Christian girl. With that said, I know that being unequally yoked is not only sub-optimal, it's worthy of being avoided.In my experience some Christian girls have also come across as self-righteous or stuck up, but they're not all that way. There are a lot who are also working to guard their hearts, and just want to make sure the man pursuing them is called by God to do so. So they do have certain walls and hurdles they may intentionally or unintentionally be setting up.When you add the fact that a lot of men could stand to be more assertive and bold (not implying you are lacking either), a lot of us end up taking a more passive approach. It's hard to read minds, to know which ones we're attracted to will be receptive to our advances. Sometimes we complicate matters ourselves with pride or ego, if we're afraid of rejection, or we're afraid of what people might think if they see us asking too many girls out.I made the mistake of asking 4 girls within 5 weeks out in the same small Bible study. Now I have to lay low for a while, at least in this particular circle of Christian girls, so they realize I have higher standards than it may appear. They have to sit back, think, and ultimately know that I am not out there taking shots aimlessly. I had the best intentions with each one of them, and at time of question, I saw each of them as a prospect for a long-term dating relationship that could have blossomed into marriage if God willed.I am not worried about gossip. I am not worried about rejection. I am not worried about what people think. This was a reaction in order to guard my reputation, and to make it clear to God as well that dating and marriage weren't becoming idols (in truth they may have been). I need to remember that God is always enough, and when God puts a woman of God in my line of sight and taps me on the shoulder, I will be unafraid of taking action. He will not let the one that counts get away, we just need to walk that fine line of being proactive, but also being intentional. In my mind it made sense, but the way it can look sometimes in small Christian circles can be questionable lol. Just learn from every mistake, don't be afraid of failure, and make sure that you trust God's timing. His timing is always perfect. I always fail Him, but He never fails. He has never failed me, even though I have stumbled countless times. The key is to make sure you dust yourself off, get back up, and remember that God has you in the palm of His hands. No matter who wants to judge me, God knows my heart and He knows my character infinitely better than I even know myself. He's not going to let us down, we just need to delight ourselves in Him and seek first His kingdom. Everything else will fall into place in His time. Remember he knows what we really need, we just know what we think we want. Often we might want and pray for the right things, but it's simply not the right time. Keep being patient, we're in good company. A lot of God's children had to wait, including Jesus Christ, to complete aspects of their mission or receive the promises they were destined for.
