#contumation

when a guy goes off and does his own thing and reflects on his past choices for like six months he probably definitely reflects on every time he was ever even a little dickish to anyone ever and then he regrets it and realizes that even though hes nervous and doesnt deserve to talk to that person again he still wants to apologize because when hes not busy and doesnt have other shit on his mind he has how garbage he was to her to think about and then he feels nauseous and long story short you reached out to me a while ago and I kind of shut you down and said things that i knew would upset you because i was a bitter piece of nonbiodegradable garbage and im really sorry because it wasnt cool of me and all especially since you were being super open with me about how you felt about things and you told me you missed me and whether or not i admitted it i missed you too and i still do because failed romances aside for awhile we really clicked and its rare for me to have that with someone if you dont forgive me i get it i really do and i dont blame you but i really need you to understand that i know that how i acted wasnt cool and i really honestly do regret being trash and im also sorry that this is just one big wall of text but it took me like a whole day to work myself up to even type this out and when i finally got the nads to i word vomitted and if i take the time to properly edit this to look some semblance of coherent ill probably wuss out and delete the whole thing