#constancezin

James wasn’t the only student that Minerva had noticed from the class of ‘72. No, the red-headed, quiet, muggleborn girl that had stood so close beside a sallow faced boy at the Sorting Ceremony had caught her eye. Maybe it was the slight disappointment on her face when her friend was sorted into a different house to her, or the interest that she had put into her studies. Whatever it had been, she had spotted Lily Evans. 

She had noticed the soft smile that pulled at the girl’s lips when Lily thought no one was watching, as Potter cracked jokes and pulled pranks in class. Had seen her sitting with Severus Snape at lunch and dinner despite the stares that she received from the Slytherins around her. Had seen her smile fading when reading the Daily Prophet and seeing about more and more attacks on muggles. 

Minerva had seen the kindness of Lily Evans, had seen her generosity, her spirit. And she spotted the looks she often shot towards James Potter, sometimes irritable, sometimes softer. 

And she had been watching during a lesson on human transformation in their fourth year, when she had partnered Potter and Evans together to Transfigure each other’s hair colour. Of course the two had decided to argue through the lesson rather than work cooperatively to achieve the task. Two of the most intelligent students in the year should have been able to work quickly to perform such simple magic. But their bickering had put them behind others in the class, even Peter Pettigrew had managed to slightly lighten Mary Macdonald’s mousy brown hair. 

Yet Potter and Evans were glaring at each other, wands gripped tightly in hands as they stared each other down without even having attempted to start casting any sort of magic. It seemed to be a battle of wills, that one of them would eventually have to break. Well, if Minerva didn’t get there first.

“Almost, Pettigrew!” she called out, trying to catch one of the two fourteen year olds’ attention. 

It had clearly worked; both heads whipped in the direction of Pettigrew, whose cheeks had bloomed red with embarrassment. Neither of the pair wanting to be beaten to success by Pettigrew, they finally seemed to get over their childish dispute and actually focus on their work. 

Minerva watched from a distance as they glanced down at their books to look over the incantation that they were supposed to be working on. Potter ran a hand through his hair, chewing on his lip a little as he glanced at Evans. A small smirk appeared on his lips, one not full of arrogance but of genuine respect. 

“Okay, let’s give this a try.” Lily said, sucking in a deep breath as she turned to James, her wand pointing towards his hair. 

James closed his eyes, scrunching up his face nervously. He was proud of his hair; Minerva had noticed that he could never leave it alone, resulting in it forever being messy. She watched with an intrigued eye as Evans murmured the incantation and the black of Potter’s hair gradually shifted to a bright red. Much to Minerva’s surprise, the change in colour was mirrored in the green of Evans’ irises. That flash of colour, the red replacing the green. They were soulmates. 

Minerva pressed her lips together, trying to hide her smile as Lily’s eyes changed back to their normal emerald before James opened his own eyes, the usual hazel reappearing. He looked at Evans, seemingly worried. 

“Don’t worry, Potter.” Lily rolled her eyes, unaware of what the Transfiguration teacher had just witnessed. “Your hair is fine, I only changed the colour.” 

Potter turned to look in the window before shouting out loudly over the murmuring voices of students trying to do their work. “You’ve made me a bloody ginger, Evans!”

---

“You know, Potter, you really are just insufferable sometimes!” 

Minerva sighed deeply, looking up from the essays that she was marking as the voices echoed in from her open office window. The hour was growing late, the sun already mostly set. Orange rays of light streamed in through the window, signalling the end of day. And of course the two Head students had decided that such a lovely moment was the perfect time for an argument in the grounds as the sun set behind them. Their voices carried up to Minerva’s office window, catching her attention so that she could watch the two students on the grass below her.

Lily had her hands on her hips, her eyes blazing as she looked at the boy in front of her, the boy who had shot up over the last couple of years and now towered over her. He looked sheepish, a hand in his hair as usual. But he also looked incredibly nervous. It had become obvious to Minerva that the relationship between the two had shifted in recent years. First a tentative friendship had formed, then something closer. And now, they were ridiculously close. Working together had been a good choice. Minerva had smiled smugly to Albus when he’d thanked her for her recommendation of making the two of them the Head students.

But they still bickered, of course they did. And here was a prime example of it, taking place outside of Minerva’s window on a warm October evening. 

“I’m sorry, Evans, I just… I thought it would make you laugh!” James replied, he seemed almost taken aback that Lily was shouting at him. 

“Charming a second year’s hair to turn blue?” Lily shook her head, her voice reaching a higher pitch than Minerva had heard in a long while. “What in Merlin’s name made you think I would laugh at that?” 

“I…” James blushed a deep red, so deep that even the tips of his ears turned pink. “I don’t know… I just like making you laugh.” 

They were quiet for a while, only the sound of Lily sighing as she dropped her head, her long red hair covering her face for a few moments. 

“James, I… I’m sorry for yelling.” 

That surprised Minerva, to say the least. She had almost been about to turn away from the window when Lily’s words made her eyes snap back to the pair. In all of her years of teaching the two of them, she wasn’t sure if she had ever heard Lily Evans apologise for shouting at James Potter. 

“I just- I remember what it was like being a second year, being so intimidated by the bigger kids that I would try to shrink myself down to look as small as possible in the corridors to avoid being picked on,” Lily explained, her voice patient and calm. “I- I feel for them, I know what it’s like to be them.” 

“Shit- Lily-” James sucked in a deep breath. “I guess I never thought about things that way when I was in second year, Sirius and I were so busy-”

“-So busy running around as if you owned the school.” Lily laughed, which clearly eased the tension in James’ shoulders. “Yeah, I remember.” 

He chuckled too, his face no longer red, though his cheeks were still tinged with pink. “I know I was a right tosser back then. But I promise you I’ve changed. You know that I have. I…” 

“James…” All of a sudden, Lily was a step closer to him, her hand resting on his cheek. Minerva edged closer to the window to watch, unable to look away. “I know. I know you’ve changed. I have too. You’re- Honestly, you’ve become one of my favourite people in the whole world. You’ve shown me the person beyond the bravado and the cockiness. You’re kind. You’re caring. You’re gentle and you’re sweet.

You’re also intelligent, so ridiculously intelligent that it drives me insane how easy it is for you to learn. You’re talented and spirited and one of the most beautiful souls that I’ve ever-” 

Minerva pressed a hand to her mouth as James tugged Lily towards him by the edge of her robe, his lips covering hers in a gentle kiss. She watched as Lily’s eyes widened for a moment before they closed and she sunk into the kiss. Her hand slid into his hair, her fingers gripping at the messy strands as she kissed him back. 

When Lily wakes the next morning it’s the first thing she thinks of, the look on James’ face, the flat tone of his voice.

He had said it didn't matter, said to move past it.

Lily isn't sure how long they’d sat on the sofa, side by side in silence. Long enough for her to dose, long enough for James to gently wake her and encourage her to go to bed.

Seeing her to the bottom of the girl's stairwell and offering her a hushed, “Sleep well”.

The dorm is empty when she finally rises, enough replaying of the evening memories, she needs to get on with her day.

“She lives!” Mary sends a bright smile her way from their usual spot at the Gryffindor table, “Tea?”

Offering her friend a nod as she stifles a yawn, Lily slips onto the bench opposite, feeling eyes from all directions focused on her. 

Marlene unfolds the paper in front of them, seemingly drawing her attention to something on the page, “Ok, spill it, what happened last night? The men in your life are all acting weird”.

Tea splutters down her chin, “Excuse me, the men?”

“You know, Potter and the lads are all… disconcertingly quiet, Snape looks almost pleased with himself under his typical glare, oh yes, and Mr Ravenclaw beater is heading this way – he’s been watching for your arrival”.

“Oh god”

Looking up from the fast-forming tea stain on her white shirt, Lily trains her attention on the incomer in an effort to gauge his intention. 

Dylan moves across the flagstones confidently, paying no mind to the scorn from the Slytherin table, or the looks passing between the seated Gryffindor seventh-years. 

Mary turns in her seat at the sound of footsteps approaching, voice aimed low, “Guess we have to wait for the gossip”.

“Morning all, Lily, sleep well?” His blue eyes lock on hers, a smile tugging at his cheeks. 

She knew she’d have to face him this morning, but his appearance only serves to remind her of her shame. A lapse in judgement in more ways than one and now to face it in front of her housemates, in front of James. 

The table sits silently for a beat too long, the blonde releases a small laugh, leaning closer to her, “Can I walk you to class?”

“I– I have to run a few errands before lessons, Heads stuff, sorry”.

Dylan looks towards the cluster of boys farther down the table, and back to her again “Right, no worries… I’ll catch you lat–”

Before he can finish his retreat though, James stands, “No need, Heads stuff is… unimportant”. 

Before Lily has a chance to process the dismissal, Sirius bangs an ungraceful fist on the table, jumping up to follow his best friend as he makes quick strides out of the hall. 

Lily watches them retreat, he said to move past it, and she assumed that meant they were fine, still friends, but his exit leaves her unsettled.

The small smile offered to her by Remus only encourages her concern as he slips from the bench slowly. Peter and he exchange a silent conversation, the boy left sitting nods towards his full plate mumbling something about catching him up.

“You sure know how to scatter a crowd Hardwick”, Marlene lifts an incredulous brow.

“And I didn't even have to use my bat”, he smirks.

Peter coughs, spitting crumbs as his eyes water, grabbing pumpkin juice to swallow the lump in his throat, “That’s not what I heard”.

Laughter tumbles from Mary and Marlene, drawing eyes from surrounding tables, attention Lily would rather avoid.

=====

Lily and James share near identical schedules, so, that they don't cross paths or interact throughout a full day of classes can only be by design. 

Snape, however, appears at the bottom of the main staircase as Lily and her friends make their way to the dining hall.

“Lily, Lily. Come on– five minutes”, his brow pulled tight.

“I have nothing to say to you”, she dismisses.

“Fine, so listen then. Look, I was wrong, I know you aren't falling for pompous Potter, and I’m not mad about Hardwick, we can–”

“You are delusional. There is no we, you and I aren't friends, we are barely classmates, if I never see or speak to you again that will be just fine with me, so stay the fuck away from me”.

“Lily”, her name spoken through clenched teeth sounds like nails on a chalkboard. 

“And for your information, James Potter is one of the best people I know. He isn't the arrogant toerag he once was, he is so much more, and– and you could learn a thing or two from him”.

“Talk about delusional, it’ll be that much harder on his side”.

“Nothing worth having comes easy Sev, you should know that by now”, Lily pushes away from the wall, finished with the conversation. 

“You don't have him you know, I saw how he looked last night, he won't be as forgiving of your indiscretions as me”.

She makes it two meters before his parting words land, she doesn't turn, won't give him the satisfaction of a response. 

Taking a sharp left Lily decides against the dining hall, looping back to the entrance hall and slipping down the shadowed stairs to the kitchen.

She shouldn't be surprised to see the dark-haired boy reclined against the table where she planned to sit, after all, it was he that showed her how to access the space.

“For what it's worth, James is without a doubt the most forgiving person I know, but if you keep fucking with him I will be a brick wall between you”.

“Sirius– I– Do you know where he is?”

Retrieving a basket from the floor at his feet, he stands to his full height, “Of course I do”.

=====

It's almost curfew when James and Sirius reappear in the common room, looking as though they’ve been rolling in mud, eyes bright with exhilaration. 

Sitting by the window with her friends, the pair haven't noticed them and she takes a moment to just enjoy seeing him having fun.

“James, I– Do you have a minute?”

Lily tells herself she is imagining the tightening of his shoulders, the dimming of his smile.

“Sure”, he hovers by the bottom of the boy's stairwell, sending Sirius on his way.

“I wanted to apologise again, and… I don't know, make sure we were ok? I know I messed up, by taking your help for granted and then with Dylan and–”

Holding up his left hand to stop her, James shuffles his feet, his eyes finally lifting to meet hers, no sign of their earlier brightness.

“I meant what I said last night, we don't have to talk about any of it, I– just move past it, move on…”