#confusing times

You regained consciousness inside a giant hammock amongst furs and soft blankets. Everything was hazy, but you could see well enough to somewhat figure out your surroundings. You were in some sort of nook sectioned off with sheets. The only light shown down from a strange lantern hung from the rafters above, the flame oddly steady. Built into a wall was a makeshift table. While one half was attached to the wall, the other was held up by ropes. Unidentifiable clutter littered its surface.

Sitting on a stool next to your hammock was your savior, slumped over and muttering to himself. As if sensing your gaze, he sluggishly sat up to look at you, your chest plummeting at the expression on his face.

His eyelight was nonexistent. Only dark voids gazed down at you, grin drawn into a vicious scowl. The blood he was still covered in had dried, making him look that much more menacing.

Instinct had you cowering as much as your body would allow. There was nothing left of the gentle giant from before. Was he dissatisfied? Had he changed his mind about you? The horde of thoughts on what that might mean grew overwhelming as you whimpered labored apologies.

He startled at the sudden sound, red orb reigniting within its socket as he took on a look of shock and worry. In an instant he stood, making the short distance between you within a couple of steps.

“Hey, yer alright dove. They can’t hurt ya anymore.”

The softness in his voice and the way his hands hesitantly hovered, didn’t match up to the murderous expression of just moments ago. It had you on edge.

What if this was some sort of test.

The fog was making it hard to concentrate on figuring out what was going on, so instead, you decided to confront it. It was better to know now, then make a mistake and have to deal with the consequences later. Surprises like that were never good.

You would not forget the lessons you learned in that other place so easily.

“You are angry. Please… tell me what I’ve done so I may fix it. Or... is it that I am not what you had hoped?” Your voice was so small and weak compared to his rumble. It turned your metaphorical stomach.

There was a puff of air and you found yourself bracing for the burn of touch. Except, when his large, clawed hand perched itself on your skull, you were surprised to find that there was no burn. Instead, it was pleasantly warm, the slight petting motion actually feeling quite nice and calming.

“Yer more than I could have hoped for little dove. Didn’t mean ta scare ya. Got a lot on ma mind is all.” His hand left your head to carefully pull the top of the blanket away from your body, the sudden chill making you shiver. Grimacing, he replaced it. “Yer in pretty rough shape. Need ta get ya fed, cleaned up, and patched up. Yer magic is dangerously low, even for a skeleton.” Standing taller, something in his expression shifted as he looked away. “I don’t like it.”

It was silent after that as he contemplated something, one of his hands going up to pull at his dead socket. Then, giving a deep hum, he turned and peaked out of the barrier's flaps, his good eyelight meticulously scanning around. You didn’t know if you believed him or not, and wanted to ask him more questions, but by the time you gained the courage to speak, he was already turning back to you.

“The galley should be clear. I’ll get somethin for ya ta eat. Should start with that. Get yer magic up first before I try ta patch ya up. Too dangerous without it.” Walking back towards you, he knelt down and took one of your hands in his, gently nuzzling your phalanges with soft words. “I’ll be back, try ta stay still and quiet until I return. Don’t want others finding ya just yet.”

He had closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. It was with a great deal of reluctance that he pulled away, taking one more glance out before disappearing through the opening of the fabric wall. You could hear his fading footsteps on the other side.

Your chest gave a pulse of… something. It wasn’t like before where it thrashed and pounded. This time it was soft, like a cat’s purr. It made you feel funny. The fear from when you first woke, seeped away, leaving you more confused than anything. And that man…

You didn’t know what to think. Your gut told you, you could trust him. That despite that darkness you had seen, his kindness was genuine. However, being overly trusting had been what got you into this mess.

A tired breath escaped you. It would take time to figure out his true intentions. All you could do was wait and hope. Carefully hunkering deeper into the mass of blankets, you allowed your eyes to rest while you awaited his return.

It was the sound of his boots that alerted you, the sound momentarily sending you into a panic until you realized where you were. When you looked up, you couldn’t help but give a small, amused smile.

Despite still being covered in blood, he had the face of a small child proudly showing off their most prized trinket, his eyes crinkling at the edges with how wide he was grinning. You didn’t think it was possible for someone as large and scary as him to be able to pull off such a look. It was quite ironic.

“I managed ta sneak some potato and water sausage soup and a few crab apples. Should help boost yer magic.”

Sitting down on his stool, he brought out the biggest personal serving bowl you had ever seen! Even though it fit in his large hands perfectly, you would have thought it was a mixing bowl. And it was almost all the way full!

You could feel your tongue attempting to form with what meager energy you had at the sight and smell of it. The energy flowed and sputtered within the confines of your mouth, not having enough to actually form.

You swallowed mournfully.

It looked like you would not be tasting whatever was in that bowl. It was also going to be more difficult to absorb your food without the extra help the energy your tongue would have provided. If he expected you to eat all of that, it was going to take an awfully long time. The disappointment with that realization made you wonder if the size of your savior impacted how much food he could absorb, or if he took longer to eat too.

None of that mattered when he brought that first spoonful to your mouth. You noticed immediately that the food was anything but normal. As soon as it entered, you could feel a small surge of energy as everything instantly began to melt and dissolve. It made you choke with how fast it slipped down your throat, causing a very undignified fit of coughing. It hadn’t helped that you had been focusing extra hard on processing the food, not swallowing it.

Eventually you were able to speak in between your sputtering coughs, sockets squinted with the effort.

“What in stars name, is that?”

To his credit, your savior only held a look of worried confusion. “Soup?”

You highly doubted that. “That, that’s not normal soup. It’s charged with something. And it fell apart so fast!”

He blinked, tilting his head slightly before looking down at the bowl. Using the same spoon, he scooped a healthy portion and unceremoniously shoveled it into his mouth. Looking at it a bit more, he shrugged.

“Just normal soup. Nothin special.”

That irked you a little, but you did your best not to show it. You weren’t stupid when it came to most things, and that was not a normal anything. You have eaten a potato before, thank you.

Gently, you tried to explain. “No, there is some sort of… of energy in it. And I didn’t have to hold it in my mouth to process it properly. It just… it just…” You ended with a huff of frustration.

Freezing, he seemed to come to some sort of realization, his once full eyelight shrinking, talking slowly. “This is monster food. It's made of magic.” There was hesitation in his voice. “Ya, ya have had monster food before… haven’t ya?”

Your eyes furrowed with a tilt of your head. You had never heard of monster food before.

That must have given you away, for the next moment his eyelight had completely vanished again as he lifted a hand to tug at his dead socket, leaving his face in eerie shadows and bringing your uneasiness back tenfold. His childlike soft grin turned tight.

“Ya need ta eat this dove.”

In an instant you were pulled from the hammock into his arms, a strange energy buzzing in the air that you couldn’t quite place. For the second time since waking, you found yourself cowering. His demeanor kept changing far to fast and you felt so small and weak in his hold. It was all you could do to keep yourself from shaking.

You were about to apologize to the angry giant, when the spoon was pushed to your mouth. With how angry he had looked, you were surprised he hadn’t just forced it in. Not wanting to risk further upsetting him, you opened, preparing yourself for how quickly the food would process. Astonishingly, it was with a slow hand that he placed the spoon withinn its depths, allowing you to close onto it until the spoonful was gone, then carefully offering another.

It continued like that for a while, his empty stare baring down on you as you allowed him to spoon feed you. You tried not to focus too much on his face, instead focusing on how each bite was filled with that strange invigorating energy and the fact that your blanket had slipped down when he had situated you in his arms. However, as the silence went on, you notice a subtle tremor in his hands when he would present the spoon. If you hadn’t been so focused, you would have missed how he also wouldn’t fill the spoon as full to compensate for it.

Chancing a glance up, you studied the man in front of you. Glowing red beads of sweat had formed on his brow, an audible shake in his breath. If you paid close enough attention, you could feel how strained he had become since he first appeared with the food. No doubt, if he hadn’t had such self-control, the slight jerk in his one leg would be more of a bounce.

You attempted to relax at the sight, something telling you that his behavior might not be so much anger towards you, than something else entirely. Perhaps there was more going on then you knew…

Shuddering, you felt compelled to reach up and touch his face with the tips of trembling fingers. It still didn’t burn, but wisps of apprehension, fear, and concern flowed into you, reflecting your own mix of emotions and giving you the courage to fully cup his cheek. Desperately, you searched for clues as to what may be going on. A sharp inhale was all you got for your efforts.

Halting his endeavor in feeding you, his eyelight flickered, eventually settling enough to expand in his socket once again.

“Axe.” The sudden rumble of his voice had you jerking your hand back, sockets wide.

He looked away, a little sheepish.

“My name, it’s Axe.” At your silence, he leaned back and groaned, the hand holding you twitching.

“Look dove, I know I’m not the most invitin lookin person, and I ain’t doin a very good job of givin ya peace of mind, but I aint gonna hurt ya.”

You looked down, not entirely trusting his words, or yourself not to fall for them. After all, you had been told that by others before, and none of them had been covered in blood or had lightless voids that could pierce you to your core.

He shifted, the sound of the bowl being put down had you looking up, only to flinch as his now free hand tilted your chin to hold your gaze, expression soft but serious.

“I won’t lie, I’ve done, and will do, a lot of terrible things, but hurtin my woman aint gonna be one.”

You were taken aback, the surprised sputter that escaped you making him chuckle and turned his tight grin smug. You could almost feel the amusement through the vibrations of his chest, finding words leaving you before you could stop them.

“And what makes me your woman?”

You didn’t know how to feel about the glint in his eye or how his grin ticked upward. “Our deal. You agreed ta allow me ta mark ya as such.”

You made sure to hold his gaze before cautiously countering. “And if I refuse?”

He leaned in closer, voice a low rumble as his eyelight burned brighter. “There’s no backen out of it now dove. It’s already done.”

A shiver ran up your spine. So that is what that meant. You felt a faint blush forming, looking away shyly when he removed his hand from your chin. At least now you were getting closer to finding out exactly what that mark entailed. Peeking back up at him, you had to ask.

“So, I am your wife now?”

He sat up straight, growing oddly still as his single eyelight expanded to fill the socket.

“Heh…”

That wasn’t an answer, but the glow on his skull was interesting. The longer you held eye contact, the brighter it grew, more beads of sweat forming to slide down the back of his skull. You would have giggled if you weren’t so conflicted about his mood and attitude swings.

He gave a cough, averting his gaze while mumbling something you didn’t quite catch.

“What was that?”

He was quick to grab the previously discarded bowl. “Nothing, ya need to finish this. It will help ya become more stable.” Without another word, the spoon was pushed to your startled teeth.

As he fed you, you noted how his hands were no longer trembling and that he seemed less agitated. You were glad. It made it easier for you to relax and eat. You still hadn’t formed a tongue, but the energy it was providing did wonders for your aches and pains, as well as warming your rather cold body.

You didn’t realize how cold and stiff you had been, until you had somehow managed to consume the entirety of the large bowl and Axe placed you back in the oversized hammock. Your joints and spine shifted and bent more easily while you were situated onto the furs and quilts. Feeling you hadn’t realized were gone, returned to your hands and feet, making it easier for you to grip your blanket while you were adjusted.

The only down side to all the food you had eaten, was the fact that you were now exceptionally full and tired. While your body had quickly absorbed most of what you were given, after a while, it began to sit somewhere deep within you, filling a nonexistent pocket almost to bursting. If you were honest with yourself, this was the fullest you had ever felt.

Not even when mother…

You squirmed until you found a comfortable position after he finished fiddling, sighing contentedly. You watched as he stood back, his eyelight flitting around your person until he hmmed.

“Your magic is still too low, but ya should be fine enough for now.” Were you really that bad off? “Should take care of your injuries though. It will help conserve some of what ya just got.” He turned to walk out. “Remember what I told ya last time. Hide under the furs if ya hear someone comin. No one enters without announcin themselves first, so ya should have time. I’ll be back.”

He didn’t bother to look out before he left.

Time drifted by as you waited for his return. You felt light and floaty as you laid there, the subtle rock of the ship not as noticeable in the hammock, but the newfound warmth made it hard to keep your eyelights open. Strange shuffling noises helped to keep you alert for a while, but nobody ever came to the flap, so you simply dismissed them after a time. It was most likely rats or perhaps a ship cat anyway.

It made you all the more appreciative to be in the hammock and not on the floor.

With a gust of displaced air, Axe burst into reality. Though you didn’t scream when your eyes opened to his sudden presence, your chest heaved from the fright, arms reaching out to brace yourself within the confines of the hammock, sockets wide. You don’t know how he made it so close without you noticing, but you were certain he had not used the opening of the flap to walk in. You hadn’t even heard his heavy footsteps.

The displeasure you saw on his face was fleeting, turning soft at the sight of you, even going so far as to give a wink and a chuckle at your expense. You were unamused but refused to say anything to condemn yourself on your failure to notice his approach.

 Still chuckling, he set a wooden bucket down just below the hammock, scooting his stool as close as he reasonably could, before sitting.

“Sorry dove, wasn’t expecten ta pop in so sudden.” He became hesitant. “Ya… I need ta…” Giving a grumble, he tried again. “Before I can treat your injuries, I gotta clean them. I know I’ve already seen ya,” there was that lovely red again, “but I gotta be able ta, ta touch ya.”

It was your turn to glow, though weak, the soft blue lit up your complexion as you averted your sockets in embarrassment and unease.

“Oh. It, um, can’t be helped. Just, please…” You couldn’t even finish, nervously looking up.

Thankfully he seemed to understand, giving a grunt. “As I’ve said before, I’m not gonna hurt ya, in any way.”

You took a deep breath and nodded. Taking that as the go ahead, he bent down to pull out a wet rag, hesitating before dabbing at your forehead and skull.

The cool dampness of the water felt incredible on your skull. You couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as the sweat and grime was delicately wiped away, bringing a freshness you had desperately missed. Though It was strange to have someone else clean you. Especially when his ministrations were with a softness you would not have associated the larger man to have. The familiar burn you had come to associate with touch, never once affecting you. You were as confused as you were grateful.

Your first impression of his reaching hands had been of how easily he could most likely crush your bones with them. He had gotten you off that other ship with the use of only one of his arms, after all. On the contrary, the warmth and affection coming from his touch now was very calming, relaxing you enough for the lightness from before to once again pull you down.

You didn’t even react when your blanket was pulled to the side as he made his way down your neck to your clavicle, exposing your upper half. Eyelights stuttering at the sensation, you watched placidly as he wiped one of your shoulder blades, then continuing down your arm. Eventually, he made it to your fingers, pausing when the last one was painstakingly washed. With a mischievous grin, he leaned forward, placing his teeth to the back of your phalanges in a sort of kiss. This time, however, it was layered with dramatics.

In your stupor, you allowed a small smile and giggle escaped you. “Such a gentleman.”

“Heh, don’t know about that. But I’ll try for ya.”

Winking, he continued with your other shoulder and arm until it was time for your ribs. At that point, you were nearly asleep, letting him move and shift you whichever way he needed. It was rather peaceful and quiet, not even the occasional sore spots he came across affecting you anymore. The tenderness of his cleansing hands was the only thing that brought any semblance of thought.

It all felt, strangely intimate.

Nothing was making much sense anymore. You knew he had to be dangerous with the amount of blood on his clothes, and those expressions from earlier. And yet, here he was, acting as though you were a precious gem made of glass when he didn’t even know you.

You wondered how long it would last?

Thoughts swirling around aimlessly, a heavy dreamless sleep claimed you, Axe working on even after you lost consciousness. You never heard his soft affectionate chuckle or his solemn words when all was done and the lamp was unceremoniously snuffed out.

“Ta think that I’d have one such as you that calls ta my soul so… Heh. My little dove…”