#computerfriend

Computerfriend was my introduction to Kit's world, randomly answering a call to playtest it ahead of the SpringThing 2022. I remember it being very confusing and trippy and gross, and yet I did not want/could not to look away. I devoured that game, and played again and again until I had found all endings*. *Ok, I'll come clean, I cheated for a few. I opened the file on Twine and looked up how to get there.

Coming back to the game felt like swimming in a strange but comforting acid pit*, and talking to computerfriend.exe felt like talking to an old toxic friend you are not quite sure whether they mean good or harm. Needless to say, I was like a kid in a bath, refusing to leave. *dw I've never really done that.

Not going to lie, this game is very strange. And it has been stuck in my mind for over a year now. It has marked me in ways I'm still discovering today. Even if it is not supposed to be beautiful, with its blinding change of colours or its eye-printing fonts or the literal ugliness of the setting, there is still charm in the harshness of the visual. Even if it is not supposed to be cathartic, each story run left me strangely satisfied and [at peace / terrified / confused / angry / revolted]. Even if it was incredibly bleak and borderline fatalistic, with an unliveable world devoid of nature and cows that can lay eggs, there is still shreds of hope in there that survival is still possible, maybe for a bit longer.

In its indulgence in all that is considered bad, the game manages to be so incredibly good.

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Honestly, I could stop here and be satisfied. This ruly incapsulate all my feelings about the game. But because I am greedy, here's below some randomly organised thoughts about the game. This is just because I want to talk about the AI program and could not find a better transition.

While the story is supposed to be about your recovery, the main show revolved around computerfriend.exe, your at-home therapist AI, which still needs a bit of tweaking before it can help you get back on track. At first, it seems the AI does not truly listen to you, as it goes down a checklist as if to fill in a form (to try to understand you) - the dissonance between your answers to questions and its responses is very staggering (for lack of better word). As you progress down the "recovery" path, the AI will propose different treatments, going from strange to terrifying to injecting yourself with drugs. If you refuse or don't find the treatment useful, it will pressure you to continue. Even saying NO is a painstaking process (and the first time, it is even ignored).

computerfriend.exe can truly be awful, but it remarkably funny. When it first assesses you, it does not just look up your location or how the weather is, but also finding the contacts to the nearest first respondent and pollen level (am i supposed to have hay fever?). This might be the bleakness of the game affecting me, but I still chuckle at it. Same after you close the application and try to reopen it, it will tell you to butt off because it is busy. It even gives you homework, actions to essentially distract yourself until the next session (and the options are delightful).

Some more random stuff, but less long:

starting with the 5 See, 4 Touch, 3 Hear, 2 Smell, 1 Taste calming method was brilliant, especially because it makes the situation all the more dire and tense.

The fucking computer visuals were so dope, especially that 90s webpage with the gifs everywhere, the weirdass adds, and the clashing colours. The news headline killed me.

transgender_foucault is an amazing username (especially having studied the work of foucault)