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I came up with a new sorting algorithm with a runtime of O(1). It's called Trump sort. I say it's sorted, even though it's probably not, my fan club says it's sorted even though it's not, and if anyone says otherwise I write an angry tweet about them with all caps, too many exclamation points, and spelling, grammar, and factual errors.
nsfw == !sfw
*Drew Carey voice*: Welcome to StackOverflow, where everything's marked as a duplicate and everything's marked as a duplicate
The real reason people do computer science

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Interviewer: do you have experience with AI?
Me: yes, I’ve used if-statements before.
I write cins not tragedies
JK, my code is a tragedy
Computer Science Joke #2
Why did c++ decide to not go out with c? Because quite frankly, c just has no class