A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected theyโd be asked the โhalf empty or half fullโ question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: โHow heavy is this glass of water?โ
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, โThe absolute weight doesnโt matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, itโs not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, Iโll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesnโt change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.โ
She continued, โThe stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzedโincapable of doing anything.โ
Drinking a glass of water, we can gain profound insight into the power and importance of picking up and putting down. When we are thirsty, we pick up our glass of water to drink. When we are done drinking, we place our water back down. Why go around carrying our water any longer than we need to? It is unnecessary.
The same truth can be found with our stresses. When we are walking into the door for work, we pick up the stresses of work. When we walk out of the door from work, we place those stresses back down. When we are walking into the door of our home, we pick up the stresses of home. And when we walk out of the door from home, we place those stresses back down all the same.
Stress, in and of itself isnโt a bad thing. In fact, stress can be quite beneficialโitโs pressure that catalyzes growth. Without a sufficient amount of stress, we might not leave our comfort zone or ever produce our best work. How we perceive and manage our stress, however, is where things can start turning negative.
As is mentioned in the short story above, holding onto stress for a brief period of time isnโt the issueโitโs holding onto stress for long periods of time. Why might we do that? Well, we might be procrastinating and avoiding doing important workโthat will keep us holding on. We might be โtaking our work home with usโโthat will keep us holding on. We might be trying to mask or suppress our stress with passive entertainment, social media, drugs, alcohol, binges, etc., rather than confronting it, dealing with it, or โputting it downโโthat will keep us holding on.
And while this isnโt necessarily a jab at how you might be handling your stress, it is an inquisition as to why you might be holding onto your stress for as long as you might be. Because hereโs the thing: the more stressful and heavy your load is, the more important and intuitive this message should be: put. your. glass. down. It doesnโt matter if youโre carrying around an 8oz, 12oz, 20oz, or gallon glass of water aroundโput. that. damn. thing. down. Donโt carry the thing around with you all day every dayโitโs absurd. This abilityโthe ability to put down your โwaterโ after youโre done with itโis the ability to compartmentalize in life.
The idea with compartmentalization is simple: wherever you are, be there. When youโre at work, be at work. Put down your glass from home and pick up your glass from work. When youโre at home, be at home. Put down your glass from work and pick up your glass from home. And when youโre working outโwork out. When youโre eating dinnerโeat dinner. When youโre reading a bookโread the book. When youโre relaxing on the couchโrelax on the couch. And when youโre doing any of those things, donโt do any of the others. And so forth. Compartmentalization is the art of keeping tasks separate and in their place so that you can focus your full attention to whatever it is youโre doing.
Donโt complicate this notion. It really is this simple. Accept the fact that (and repeat after me) your work will never be completed. And just as importantly to point outโyour stresses will never go away completely either. So long as you are working and challenging yourself (which you always should be) stress will be there. And the sooner you accept that fact, the sooner you will be able to put down your stresses at the end of the work day and leave in peaceโknowing that youโll be back tomorrow to pick them right back up. And not a second before then. Because your time away from work is your time away from work. Just as your time without your glass in your hand is your time without your glass in your hand. Best to keep it that way.
