#community things

Where do you personally draw the line between SFW and NSFW? I feel like it's a really blurry one around these kinky parts. Can be hard to know what even counts as NSFW sometimes, which makes many such disclaimers tough to interpret.

Especially for the type you mentioned, who doesn't necessarily need (or even desire) all the "sexy/touchy" stuff to get off... Yet who can get amazingly hot and bothered from the softest scenarios or most inconspicuous triggers. (Not me or anything...)

Ah, asexual confusion. 👀

Asexual confusion, indeed, anon.

Sorry for the delay in answering this one! I’ll preface this by saying there is not a correct answer to this question. I think there’s also a lot of… if not bad faith, then less-than-good faith perspectives about this from folks with axes to grind.

Also, this is gonna get long. Sorry.

So let’s address one thing: “safe for work” and “not safe for work” don’t really mean what they say. Is it safe to listen to a relaxation file while you’re working? Not in most jobs. So hypnosis content is kind of all not safe for work on some level.

In essence, as the ask kind of gets at, SFW and NSFW, especially in hypnosis spaces, are shorthand for “how adult-oriented or kink-oriented or sex-oriented is this going to get?”

In theory, this is a question purely about the content itself. Every file is tagged differently by the creator based on their read of its content. This means that (as anon observed) - the definition of SFW/NSFW is pretty relative to the experiences of the person saying which one it is.

I think, in general, that if something is labeled SFW in a hypnosis context, you can (or should) be able to assume that the file isn’t going to have any overt or strongly implied sexual or kink content.

If it says NSFW? Then it’s more likely to have those things in it. The spectrum of for much of that content will be there is very wide indeed.

I’m personally of the mind that SFW/NSFW should be a binary state. If you’re shopping for a file based on that, you should be able to count on an SFW file meeting that mark.

“That’s all well and good, but…”

First, you said butt.

Anyway.

The other wild card is what you mentioned, anon, about the fact that for many of us, hypnosis that would be to the average listener/viewer very tame hypnosis can *feel* very different for us.

I don’t like most adult content generally. It’s boring and kind of weird to me in most ways. Especially as someone on the ace spectrum, it just… doesn’t hit. (And for folks who are sex-repulsed it can actually be pretty bad)

But I also can feel very turned on when a pretty voice tells me to go to sleep. Not always, but it can happen. Even more so, for a lot of folks, hypnosis is *inherently* sexual. For them a PMR induction can code as very sexy.

The solution? Tag your damn content. Tags help solve these problems. Describe what a file says/does and don’t make people guess on their own.

Giving people more information to make better choices is a good, right thing, and it helps alleviate this issue altogether.

@davrinsleftpectoral and @blackwall-my-tiny-husband will join me as we set off on a new adventure to run a grocery store together! What could possibly go right wrong!

Be sure to follow @hedwigoprah on twitch so we can create chaos together - it just won’t be the same without you.

*I know tumblr doesn’t have a public follower count but you can absolutely tell which blogs are larger than others from the simple practice of asking “Does this username crop up on my dash on a regular basis from multiple sources?” It is uncannily reliable.

Some of this is just the modern, twitter-quippy style way of online media - twitter and tiktok reduce down the point of contact and allow people to make completely spurious, bad-faith arguments based on nonsense because they’re looking at a very narrow snapshot of what’s going on and forget to consider the whole of it and also that there’s a person on the other end of it.

Some of it is that some people are goddamn bullies, and like the thrill of responding, of dismissing others - especially people they can deem “haters” or “idiots” (regardless of the actual truth of that statement). There are people who want to feel superior and they gain that feeling by putting down others.

And some of it... well it comes back to that point about it often coming from larger blogs, because I’ve seen some blogs, starting out with a reasonable number of followers and then growing drastically, get worse in this specific way.

Because when you get more followers, you get an echo chamber. You see this more obviously on facebook, twitter, youtube, where the numbers are public, but it’s still true here. Blogs are followed by people who like a specific part of a blog’s output. They support that output and encourage it. When people come along and are - well, perhaps they’re haters, or perhaps they misunderstood something, or perhaps they’re legitimately ignorant because they never knew about it before - but they say something the blog doesn’t like.

The first few times, early on, before they blow up, these bloggers can -and indeed often do - respond with patience and kindness. It gets them a reputation - they’re nice, and thoughtful, and consider things, and it draws more people to them. It gives them a kind of social badge of “no, this one’s okay. this blog’s a Good Person”. Sometimes they might even wade in when replies from their followers get aggressive to try to defuse things - but you can’t do that forever, no one has the spoons, especially as their follower count rises. They might make a couple posts asking people not to be rude, they might disable replies - the good ones delete asks they can’t be bothered to deal with, block posts and people and phrases and move on with their lives - but some don’t

Instead with some blogs, at some nebulous point as their follower count rises it’s like a switch flips.

And they start being flippant. They start responding with quips or jokes. They start responding not with patience but in bad faith, with rudeness, even with insults. I’ve seen someone send a follow-up ask to one such blog clarifying their POV, their ignorance, that the jokes made were legitimately hurtful to them - and the blog and the followers just doubled down on their behaviour.

This is not helped by the followers - who usually make these kind of jokes as well, often before the blog does. It normalises it to the blogger, seeing all of these things in their activity feed, and it also means that when the blogger starts acting that way, few of their vocal followers will condemn them for it - there’s a kind of tacit support of this path. Even when challenged, once the flip is switched, few change back.

No one wants to think that perhaps they’re a bad person. No one wants to think that perhaps what they said was rude and uncalled for. That they didn’t have to respond to that ask, or that perhaps they could have explained why they made those jokes that could seem rude - especially when they get outside of their immediate circle which is ever more likely when you have a certain number of followers. They don’t want to consider that, or their effect - so they double down. It’s made worse. In many ways, it’s basically this meme:

[Image ID: The Simpsons Meme of Principle Skinner. The first panel has Skinner with his hand on his chin asking “Am I out of touch?”. In the second panel he’s straightened, staring ahead. The caption is “No, it’s the children who are wrong”.]

Except that in a terrible way, they’re not out of touch. They’re out of touch with what they originally presented - kindness, decency, being a Good Person - but they’re perfectly in touch with their vocal followers who don’t want to think about the feelings of others and the consequences of their actions, who want to joke and quip and even bully complete strangers without ever considering if they are actually doing the right thing, the good thing, the empathetic or educational thing.

And not everyone has the spoons to explain things! But when that’s the case - you can block a person. You can delete an ask. You can choose not reblog a post only to clown on it and then drag it up a week or so later to clown on it some more.

I’ve seen people like this tell others to curate their experiences, tell my friends and myself that we wouldn’t be so annoyed at things if we just curated our feeds, and often getting quite mad about what they’ve assumed about us - but the thing is, they’re not curating their experience. They’re responding to things in a way that, specifically, they have learned will get them a response and support from their followers. They’re doing it because it perpetuates the conflict algorithm that nets them followers and so increases the echo-chamber of their support - and further cements that flipped switch into place.

There are some bigger bloggers who don’t appear to have gone this path. Who do seem to think about things and consider and don’t unnecessarily reblog posts to clown on a smaller blogger, or respond an ask only to be mean and nasty rather than just deleting the ask and moving on with their life. But it’s few. It’s concerningly few.

I find it kind of depressing. There are blogs I legitimately enjoyed before I saw them go this path. There are blogs I’ve witnessed steamroll people, or deliberately bring back a post that had moved out of common circulation specifically to clown on the (reliably a smaller blog) OP.

It’s mean spirited. It’s unnecessary. It’s the kind of behaviour that when it’s twitter dogpiling I see some swaths of tumblr look down on as though somehow we’re better.

And yet, for some reason, when it happens on here, it’s suddenly okay.

You all have been listening to me gush forever here. This is a reminder that any of you are ALWAYS welcome to come gush in my ask box about your F/Os, whether we’re mutuals or not.