#commandantflynn

If you won the lotto, what would be the FIRST thing you did?

Pay off my bills. That wouldn't be the only thing, but the first thing.

Just how many pillows do you sleep with?

At least 10.  Given a choice, would you read the book, or watch the movie the book was based from first.

Watch the movie. Reading is hard for me, so I need to know if it would catch my interest.  Of all your muses, how many have you also cosplayed as?

By Muses, I'm going to say people I have actually roleplayed or wrote for - 

So... at least 13 of them? I lost count.  Of my current Muses? I've cosplayed everyone but Yeager and Oswald.  (IV, Barnaby, Yuri, and Luke) If you could only pick one person to RP with, who would it be?

I refuse to answer this question. I have too many people that I love. How often do you wear dresses? (and I don’t care if you’re a guy. It’s still legit.)

HA! I don't....maybe every year or two...  Of all the Tales games, who’s your favorite antagonist?

Yeager. <3 But everyone should know that. One fish, two fish, red fish, or blue fish?

Two fish, so they can be a red fish and a blue fish! Do you listen to music while writing replies?

Hell yeah I do. I listen to music constantly.  What is your favorite song?

Um.... I want to say this song, because it's the most played song on my computer(At easily over 1500 plays) - but Barenaked Ladies, Matchbox 20, and 3 Doors Down are my favorite bands.  Out of all the icons you have for your muse, what one is your favorite to use?

How long have you been roleplaying?

Have "Tales of" games have you played?

Did you have a good holiday?

Are there any roleplayers you look up to?

Other muses besides the one you were tagged for?

Do you cosplay? - If Yes, Who? If No, - Would you? 

Favorite food?

Last Movie you watched.

Favorite color?

Do you have any pets?

I told you, I love you darling. 

I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner.  

Most of the time I feel like a terrible person lately, and I don't like to push my problems on people - and since I've been nothing but depression I slink away. I have a strong belief that I'm good with being 'alone'. 

I've already lost a lot all of my friends in my life hun. I have severe abandonment issues that I know I need to work on, thus the relationships I build tend to be the most precious things in my life. All of them. And as for friends - you guys are it. IRL friends amount to about three people, so I get kinda overly clingy to the 'cult'. 

So then let's start here with my dear Ariel. 

theprincessofloveandsea - So here's this Disney character coming all up in my life, all up in my roleplaying - and I've never crossed series/games /genres on this account before. I'm nervous, and afraid of screwing things up. How do I do this and still manage to make it good?  

So I post a lame starter, working off of the movie I hardly watched as a child, hoping and praying it would be good enough - and not only do I get a wonderful writing in response, I get one of the sweetest people I have the privilege of talking to.  Ariel as a muse is adorable, and I love the chemistry we're building between her and Yuri. Crack pairings for the win! Oh, but let's not forget the mun behind the muse, a wonderful writer/cosplayer - disney nerd who I am proud to call my friend. Adorable he is. Mun and Muse. Sweet, kind, and always there when I'm down. I can't say thank you enough to you darling, simply for talking to me in my depression and letting me know that you're there. You're simply wonderful, and I love you. 

-> From Kira and Yuri <- 

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Firstcaptainschwann - Can I even begin my saying - do you people realize how many hours in a day I spend talking to Pops? See there is this little group of roleplayers I got sucked into back in like late August, early September, and that is how I met Pops. We talk pretty much everyday, for most of it - meaning when I'm actually awake. I love this woman. I adore this woman. I am braving my fear of public transportation, and heights, and large crowds to fly out to met this woman and go to Sakuracon with her in March.  

Pops, god - Pops. I get a little speechless sometimes when it comes to pops, and I know I tell her I love her everyday, but I just don't think I express it enough. 

See I'm a super shy, ultra insecure person - and whenever I need her it's like she magically appears. She has helped me cope with so much, get through with so much. Let me rant and just vent about anything and everything. Pops has been there for me through thick and thin, and I don't know how to properly say 'Thank You' to her for being so wonderful. 

She spoils me so much.  Too Much. 

As Muse, Schwann - Pops. Yuri loves you. He does. You're family to him. You're almost blood in his eyes. He would die for you without thinking about it - wait... didn't that happen in a drabble...  Pops is one of my favorite people to roleplay with, and we have caused a lot of trouble together. 

I mean she is also my Repede so that just instantly means trolling team of trouble!!! How can I not love her? 

Seriously, I think I would be lost with you pops. 

You are a precious treasure to me. 

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Commandant-Flynn - Okay, straight up. Flynn's down here at the bottom, because this is where the book starts.  The book of the feelings I haven't conveyed properly, and the things I should have said a long time ago.  The things that apply to all that is Spi - because she's running like 4 - 5? Blogs now. She is my Asch, My Karol, My Flynn - and also an Ion I have yet to pester. 

So I'll get the short version out first. 

"Spi, I love you. I always have. I always will. You are special to me in a way I don't think you realize. I'm sorry for never telling you. "

There. Short version. Now, brace yourselves. 

Let's start out here with a story, because I honestly can't talk about Spi without talking about Karol (eggbearslayer) because that was how I met her. 

So here I am, shy, insecure  and lacking self-esteem in my writing, chillin' on my old account for Yuri.  I'm lonely, and hardly ever on it because I don't have that many people to roleplay with. I've sent a few requests to other people, and posted some opens. 

Nothing.  A few bites, and that's about it. 

And then here comes this Karol out of no where, I see some of my other people I'm following roleplaying with - and I can't help but be impressed. Their writing style, their portrayal of the character.  I'm floored. 

I want to roleplay with them too.  

But I'm shy, and not sure if my Yuri is good enough to roleplay with them - and I'm socially awkward, so I don't know if I should say hi, because I'm afraid that they'll think I'm weird because my original RP accounts were all sideblogs of my personal.  All Six of them. 

So one day, I get brave, I send the message - "hey would you like to rp, blah blah blah." And I get back the kindest message, and someone super eager to rp with me. 

I'm touched. I'm relieved. What was I afraid of?

At this point I'm still weary. 

We end up talking, and I end up seeing that this Karol of mine, is a wonderful person. I'm excited to see their replies, and I start actually using my Yuri Account. I start replaying the game. I start diving into my character. I have motivation. I have drive. I have a reason to do this now. 

And then the message came. 

That message. 

I will never forget it. 

Commandant-Flynn: "Hey, I was wondering if you needed a Flynn. You're a great Yuri, so I wanted to practice my Flynn muse with you." 

I lost my shit.  

I'm not even kidding you all right now. I lost my shit. 

I was a Flynn-less Yuri, and my heart just beamed at the opportunity to have a Flynn to RP with - and not just any Flynn but a Flynn who could roleplay so well. 

I mean seriously. Did that just happen? Out of the Blue I gained the best rp partner I could have ever asked for? Seriously? I deserve that?

Of course I jumped at the chance. I was excited as excited could be to have a Flynn to roleplay with - someone to work out the kinks in my character with. Someone to expand my character with. Some to play my polar opposite. 

If it wasn't for Spi, - for Commandant-Flynn - "Brave-Vesperias-Yuri" wouldn't exist. 

It's that simple. 

She is my motivation. She is my drive.  

I am completely aware of the fact that I write her books. I am completely aware of the fact that I'm sure she feels like she can't keep up with me. (I read tags darling <3) And honestly I feel horrible that she feels that way.

I adore her writing, her word choices - Do you all realize she is one of the only people I have seen actually use the word 'thrice' ? - I love the way she does things.  

And then I get this.

Randomly asking for my skype - and there is that super insecure person again weary on whether I should or not because I believe there is a difference in loving a person and loving the muse. - But I do it anyways, and she throws me into the group I talked about earlier in the Firstcaptainschwann section - without warning. 

Shit. Socially Awkward. What am I supposed to do? 

Just relax and be yourself Kira, and what happens? I gain friends that I now set on my computer and watch conversations and talk to and feel a need to be around - even if it's only through a computer screen - everyday. 

Spi, you gave me a family.

What you didn't realize is, you did it right when I needed it the most. I didn't have one. I was in a hard spot when you found me. I was using roleplaying to hide from life and not have to think about my problems. 

And then you made me feel like I was worth something again. 

You brought the smile back to my face. 

I'm dead serious when I say that.

You got me in a slump, one of the deepest ones of my life, and pulled me out of it without even realizing it - because not only did you get to know me as a muse, but as person too.  You got to know Yuri and Kira.  

You are someone I talk about all the time. Ask people if you don't believe me. 

You are someone I adore. Someone I cherish and am thankful. 

I apologize that we don't talk as much as we used to. Ever since I went to Youmacon everything went to hell.  Life happened, you got busy, I got shy - and I always feel like a burden and a bother so I don't like to shove myself into people's lives.  So I pull away and run from things. 

I'm sorry. 

I honestly don't know what I would do without you. 

Most of the time I don't feel like I deserve to have a friend like you - and most of the time I wish I could be as vocal as you are. I wish I could speak my mind like you. I wish I could be as talented as you are. I wish I was brave like you are. 

You are so talented. You sing so beautifully, and dear god - woman do you realize how talented you are? Do you really?  I set in awe of you. 

I'm sorry, if I seem clingy.

I'm sorry if I seem over bearing. 

I just...feel like I owe you so much. I always try to strive to be the best I can be, simply because you tell me how wonderful my writing is so I want to make it better and better. 

I will never stop improving because you push me forward. 

Spi, I love you.  Thank you for everything.