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It was a soft golden light spilling in from the window that was left open a crack. The late summer breeze crept inside as Jimmy twitched awake. Things have been getting better. However, there were times when he remembered, remembered the cold metal on his neck, the pure panic that consumed him, even the fog that clouded his mind. He also remembered the furious look on Zach's face when he refused him and his "help" along with the liberating feeling of feeling his lips split and flow with blood under his knuckles. Dripping down his chin and onto his tackey black turtle neck sweater. He felt warm hands embarrassing him from behind, holding him tight yet gently, like he was the most precious thing in the world.

"You ok, hun?" Koki asked as he turned to face her. He decided to lie on his back, and she rested her chin on his chest. "You're jumpy today."

Jimmy let out a breath, "Just thinking, I guess." It was easier talking to Koki for what reason, he couldn't say.

"Ok, do you wanna talk about it?" Koki looked into his crystal blue eyes, and he, in turn, looked into her obsidian ones. He could just tell her, but every time he did, he was reminded of that fear that engulfed him. But, he knew that Koki would understand, she wouldn't laugh, wouldn't jeer, wouldn't roll her eyes. She would listen.

"I-... I feel like a scared little kid whenever I think about it. I dont like feeling like that. It just makes me feel weak and pitiful. I just... I wish I wasn't so scared to think about it." Jimmy held his girlfriend close as she kept her eyes on his, filled with concern and love. No pity or unease. She just listened to him and his woes. In that moment, he started to tear up, not out of fear or sorrow, but joy.

Koki's concerned look on her face deepened, "You ok?"

Jimmy smiled at her, bright and genuine. "Yeah, I'm better than ok. I wanna make some muffins today, maybe chocolate chip?"

Koki pulled him close, kissing his cheek. "Whatever you feel like pumpkin."

He thought about it. He hadn't had blood oranges since Zach's "dinner," and while he wanted them from time to time, he felt the overwhelming urge to vomit after smelling its bittersweet aroma. It was a shame as he really loved that fruit. But today, it felt different, like he was somehow ready. He kissed his beautiful goddess of a girlfriend and sprung out of bed, still in his pajamas he headed towards the kitchen. He took out a binder that he brought with him and opened it to blood orange muffins. However, it felt incomplete without the dark chocolate chunks Koki got him recently from the grocery store.