#columbia classes

I went to orgo and recitation today, mostly because we had a quiz, and while I bombed the quiz I’m not too worried because we get to drop two quizzes. I got out of recitation at 9 PM and actually walked home instead of taking the subway for once. The weather was nice and the city was quiet and dark and it felt like it was midnight. BookCulture, however, was still open, so I entered in search of something small that I could spend money on that wouldn’t harm me in any way (and by that I mean I didn’t want to spend it on food that I’d later regret--looking at u shake shack). I browsed their pottery and pins and general trinkets and wanted to just hold everything. I meant to leave soon but I got trapped within that nice envelope of warm light that bookstores usually provide at night. I sat on a small stool and read a cookbook for vegetarian recipes at my leisure, with zero commitment to reading it other than looking at the good food and feeling happy. They were playing some groovy music and I was just bobbing along and reading and an employee walked by at some point and I’m pretty sure they thought I was high by the time I left.

I then walked home but got sucked into Hex&Co which was also a vibe because they let you play board games for as long as you want for just $5. And there’s a cafe inside the place too.

I’m assuming you’re taking chem lab too? I’d recommend taking Calc 3, because calculus is one of those subjects that gets harder the more you forget about it. Spanish is the opposite of a priority right now, and in case you decide to not be premed ever, you won’t have wasted your time on Intro to Psych. Calc, however, is dead useful in many majors.

De jure: Called “Masterpieces of Western Literature and Philosophy” on SSOL. A two-semester class that is basically your average literature class back in high school. Consists of two 2-hour seminars every week. Assigned portions of the book for every class, and you’re expected to arrive to class having read what was assigned for that day. The idea is that you read approximately one book per week. The discussion does not review summary too much, but rather goes straight into analysis. Depending on your instructor, you could have reading quizzes every week, or with every book, or not at all. Depending on your instructor, you could read 12 books, 15 books, or 12 books completely not on the general Lithum syllabus. Depending on your instructor, you could have a final that is mostly passage IDs, a final where you have to write several essays, or a final where you just have to memorize a page of some text verbatim. A lot of this class depends on your fucking instructor.

De facto: A lot of this class depends on your fucking instructor. I had the best instructor ever, so my class was lit, and this was possibly my favorite class freshman year. In fact, I’ll be writing my instructor a testimonial letter this summer, because she’s applying to be an actual professor here, and she absolutely deserves it. Anyway.

At this level and pace of reading, most people never fully read any of the texts, except the ones who do. And you’ll know who does because they all have sticks up their you-know-whats and mention it every time the word LitHum is about to fall out of someone’s mouth. They’re like vegans. I swear to God it’s 100% accuracy.

I’m just gonna warn you in advance that Shmoop covers way more than you need to know. I Shmooped maybe 85% of the texts this year, and touched maybe 8 of the books in person the whole year. In fact everything you find on Shmoop is essentially what happens in the class. You’re expected to know the general summary, we discuss the characters, analyze important things like the title and certain motifs, look at some quotes, that’s the whole class. So if you’re looking for a one-stop shop, Shmoop is the place to go.

This class can either be the bane of your existence or a welcome relief from your other classes, usually depending on your major. Humanities kids hate it because they want a deeper discussion than the cursory one offered in such a fast class (we spent three days on all of Crime and Punishment), and STEM kids either love it because it’s a nice change of pace or hate it because they already have so much work to do. I found myself loving it because it was nice to come to the same teacher and class after winter break and find a routine, and it was also a pretty chill class (my prof brought us baked goods almost every class).

They say you walk away with a newfound appreciation for Western literature and that’s pretty true. I really couldn’t see the point of reading all these dead people until after I took the final and it just kinda clicked. It’s nice to be able to discuss some of the basic concepts presented in something like Dante’s Inferno with literally any other Columbia alum.

Tips for acing the class:

Try to read at least the Shmoop on time.

Sucking your prof’s dick (I don’t mean literally but you know it couldn’t hurt) will help your grade. This can vary from things like asking a lot of really good questions in class to going to office hours more than once. But it definitely makes your instructor grade you more easily.

This is the only class I’ve come upon so far that really requires compartmentalizing time in advance. It’s so much easier to read on time if you just divide the section you have to read per day and read each part per day. It gives you a better idea of how far you’re falling behind and how much you can realistically read.

Take advantage of all the organized study sessions that come around during finals week. Finals for lithum are largely composed of passage IDs, where they give you quotes and you have to say the book, speaker, and context. The only way to get good at those is to practice them as much as possible, and you’re going to want to get your eyes and hands on as many as possible. So go to the study sessions.

Also create your own in your floor lounge. Some of my favorite memories of freshman year come from those lithum study sessions, at 2 AM when the lounge has the most people it’s seen since the required NSOP meeting.

I haven’t been going to class lately, and it’s bad. But, I went to physics for the first time today in like a week and realized that you guys would appreciate what my professor says, so in an effort to pay attention in class I’ll be delivering some of his best quotes. Today I caught him saying:

“Distance isn’t real.”

“No pronouns are allowed in this class.”

*quotes himself* “What the hell does that even mean?”

“English is crappy. Translate into math.”

“~free your mind~”

“Wait no, I didn’t say distance isn’t a thing. That isn’t the moral of this story.”

“Everything you’ve been taught is wrong.”

I’d love to, but because I’m only a sophomore I don’t think I have enough experience with pre-med yet to be qualified to tell you much. I’ll definitely post about it senior year.

Upperclassmen usually take about 5 classes a semester. That accounts for the fact that some of us are double majors, some of us want to study abroad, some of us want to take a lot of electives, and some of us just have really fucking hard majors. So 5 classes is definitely the higher bound. Freshmen take 4-5 classes a semester.

I know you’re thinking, I’ve already done this whole college thing, I can just dive right in with 5 classes. I strongly recommend that you take 4 classes your first semester here. I know you think you can handle it, I know you think you have experience, whatever. New York, and being at an Ivy, is much more consuming than you think. Everyone, and I mean everyone, underestimates that. While you have several years to take 5 or 6 classes a semester, you only have one semester to get used to being at Columbia while doing well in school. You do not want to blow your GPA out just because you have too much of an ego to take 4 classes. I don’t care if you think you won’t have time to finish your requirements for whatever major. You will. Everyone comes in here thinking they can keep up the ridiculous pace that they had in high school or at their old college. Or that they can handle the increased stress and work. And then they crack and regret it the next semester, but their GPA shows that forever. Just take four classes.

After that first semester you can go wild. Double majors have a tendency to take 6 classes, especially if their majors don’t overlap. I for one know that 6 will be my minimum for several semesters to come. Very rarely can you squeeze 7 classes into one semester (or really, one day), and some people manage to skate by on 3 classes. It’s determined by credit number, not actual number of classes, so anything’s possible.

Course Name: Global Core (or, The Only Core Classes Not About Western Society)

[Click here for the full Core Review series.]

What you’re supposed to do/learn: You’ll learn about a civilization or culture other than the typical influx of European and American lessons completed in the other Core classes. The courses can range from Native American history (... which technically is American) to Islamic and North African cultures, from Asiatic to South America.