#collapsable walls

The dead speak! This is part six of my ongoing series reviewing the prison facilities in each of Skyrim's major cities. I'm sorry this one took longer than the others, I just came back from a place with very poor internet and could not post for a while.

In this chapter we examine the capital of Skyrim, Solitude. Expectations for the Castle Dour Dungeons are high given its location in the imperial and indeed national capital. I'm anxious to see if it lives up to such lofty expectations or falls short and gives the Stormcloaks another reason to hate Tullius' guts.

Upon entering my cell I was presented with a notably scarce décor. There is a table provided with seating for two and a single sleeping space (are they expecting us to have friends over for lunch?). Also supplied was an adequate lighting source, an additional chair off to the other side of the cell (for all one's third wheeling needs), a waste disposal bucket, multiple sacs into which things can be placed and a pile of hay which is presumably to act as sustenance in the event a steed ends up in here for horsing around the city. I had noticed that the southern-left wall appeared to have some faulty bricking installed which I have to consider a shortcoming of the maintenance of this facility. I was about to investigate further when I encountered an issue.

He keeps doing this. It's become a recurring issue. I am here to experience this prison fully from the perspective of a prisoner and yet Inigo insists on quickly releasing me at every turn. I had asked him this time why he paid my leave and how he had acquired the funding to do so, but he responded by saying that he hadn't paid any bail at all and refused to elaborate further. I'm scared. This Khajiit clearly knows something I don't which worries me deeply.

I at this point decided "to the Far Shores with it" and did the review at whatever way I so chose. Inigo made it clear that integrity was for the feeble anyway. I examined the central room outside my cell and was greeted with a truly breath-taking sight. Apart from some choice walling which I will elaborate on later, this building is simply magnificent in terms of architecture and structure. It's a sight to behold with expertly laid out cells and a torture chamber, a feature not seen in any other prisons so far. Though the presence of a torture chamber is likely motivated by the civil war, it can also function as an effective deterrent from any hopeful escape artists trying to free themselves or reach the belongings chest to retrieve their potions of vigorous well-being or the like. The layout and structural design of this facility puts every one previously reviewed to shame, with one exception.

This wall is frankly pathetic. It obviously stuck out from the moment I arrived and exposing it to so much as a minor gust fully collapsed a person-sized chunk of the wall leading to a potential escape route. Now, I'm hardly a qualified construction worker but this does not seem well put together at all and creates a myriad of issues, least of all giving prisoners an escape route. Falling bricks may not only put the safety of prisoners at risk but unattended bricks may be used as weaponry to attack innocents. This is simply shoddy and nothing else. I had expected better.

Following the resulting path led to a greater issue. This path goes directly to the prisoner belonging chest and leaves said chest fully exposed. Now admittedly the chest, like all belongings chests, is protected by a very strong lock but the point still stands that easy access is granted to prisoners who are afforded the luxury of retrieving their aforementioned potions of vigorous well-being to keep themselves in shape during the escape should an altercation break out. This opening, much like the faulty walling that created this escape route, is also the result of shoddy build quality and upkeep in Castle Dour. It may look impressive but it very evidently folds like a deck of cards.

Beyond this lay a very short trip to the exit out into the city through a sewer drain. This exit combines the worst elements of Dragonsreach Dungeon and Riften Jail to form an utterly uninspired and uninteresting route to escape that leaves little to make the escape feel special for the fleeing criminal. Still, I suppose beggars cannot be choosers when you are escaping prison.

Emerging from the drain onto the city streets reunited me with my team who, with the exception of the ever-unpredictable Inigo had decided not to partake in the bulk of this review. They had been fortunately spared from the events that led to my Solitude arrest which may or may not have involved getting up onto a stage in the middle of a public execution and singing a song about Goblins (A song which Jordan found particularly entertaining). What I had failed to account for during my following of the escape trail was the Imperial guard finding the wall hole during my escape and following it to chase me down under a new separate charge of destroying Imperial property. This was unexpected, but not unwelcome as it showed diligence in the Imperial guards which I hadn't expected from soldiers not out in the front lines of the war.

In closing, Castle Dour Dungeons were not quite what I had hoped they would be. I had expected a gold standard of quality and while they do excel in guardsman training, interior design and torture, they fall flat in furnishings of cells and structural integrity, two areas I had expected the very wealthy capital city to excel in.

Final score: Seven Potions of Vigorous Well-Being out of Ten Potions of Vigorous Well-Being

Thank you for reading this review. Next time we examine the opposing side of the civil war and see what Ulfric does with people who feel like being just a bit too kind to the Argonian dock workers.