#coldman

to celebrate me escaping from my enclosure, here is a very messy icebot relationship chart

Notes:

I've always seen tundra as being a bit naive, hence blizzard (who's stated to be shady in his cd data) seeing him as an easy mark

chill's deffo got trauma from Roboenza. Ice has Wily trauma too, but chill's is much fresher. plus he was deathly ill on top of being brainwashed

Tundra and freeze are friendly rivals!

Frost and Cold are canonically dumbasses. Made this chart before MM#0 came out, and you can see the dumbassness in Cold

Ice is the oldest icebot, and occasionally serves as the sassy mentor to the youngins

i originally characterized chill as a nicer "enchanted by nature" guy, but discussions with mons showed me the potential of snarky deadpan chill

chill does not like tundra, thanks to... The Incident. Tundra is still trying to be is friend to this day

So basically:

Ugh geez, where do I even start...

Well, let's start with Cold Man. Cold Man is probably one of the more tolerable out of them. He's actually a pretty, no pun intended, cool guy. He's not hostile, not a dumbass (he's a bit slow, but it's nothing too serious), and he's pretty thoughtful. I guess it's the fact that he used to belong to that Light beard guy before being taken by King. But I like him enough to talk with him and hang out. We're close enough for him to let me rummage around inside him too, something he allows Astro, Magic, and of course King, to do....it's like a dog letting you rub its belly as a sign of trust. It won't let anyone get close to it's internal organs since the belly is one of the vulnerable aspects of the animal..

Pirate Man...This guy is, brutal. Like, bloody "Spartan 300" kind of brutal. This guy honestly sort of scares me for the fact that he would not hesitate on getting what he wants. A pirate is a pirate after all, so I guess it's inherent, but...seriously. I would not be there on the day of "Bolts n' Chase". Brief explanation of what that is. As a way of "entertainment", King makes up some of the most bullshit ass games. This is one of them where it's like spin the bottle, only it's King spinning his axe and wherever the blade points to the near Robot Master, they are it. And the "it" is the prey and has to survive for exactly 2 hours from being dismantled from the other members. The game is also a way to test endurance, stamina, ability, and cunning. Now with that, Pirate does not hold back. He will do anything, even if it means killing his own member just to get to the top. At the end of the day, it's just a game. Pirate is just some crabby Pirate guy who speaks in old sea shanties.

Burner Man....I hate him. With a passion. For so many reasons I will not list here, that is for another day. But to put it simply, he just does not. Listen. He's a total, uncompassionate jackass. A personality like his does not mesh well with mine. A robot like him can't even comprehend a piece of paper towel stuck to his face even if you pointed it out to him, he's so fucking blind. But...even though I hate him, I also sympathize with him. My heart aches for him for sooo many different reasons, I don't know how to explain. And it's one of those reasons is why I'm probably socially inept, why I don't chose to feel happy, because this problem still lies within...him.

Moving on. There's Astro Man. Another one of which I consider to be a little more tolerable. I won't lie when I say that I sort of feel bad for the guy. He did not want to be here, but King forced him to join. I am glad he was here though, not by any cruel means, but I'm glad to have met a guy like him. I relate to his struggle for being at the hands of King. I think we are closer because of this shared pain. Despite his more skittish nature, Astro is also very thoughtful. It may also sound a bit...funny to say this, but I may have a(n) Astro crush on him too, but I don't really know. I could just be clingy to anyone who gives me the slightest bit of soft affection...but, even then, I don't think it would even be possible since I suspect him and Tengu already have something between them. I don't think anyone would date someone like me though, but I shouldn't get too sentimental.

Tengu Man. Iiiiii- honestly have not much to say apart from what I mentioned about him and Astro. But maybe aside from that, I don't see him as the "romantic" type or anyone interested in relationships. He seems to pay attention more to himself than to others. I guess his confidence is what makes him charming, but I wouldn't know. I don't pay much attention to the guy. He does have a pointy nose though :3

Ground Man is, who I'd describe, a quite solidarity philosopher. He seems to disappear wherever, whenever. Then he pops out of nowhere with something new to say, or as I'd like to call, his "sermons". He spends all his alone time just thinking up these kind of thought-provoking philosophies. They're all either about the social unjust between humans and robots, among other things that may change your perception in life. I may not take half of what he says in consideration since they all also sound like something I've heard of before in Greek mythology or old poets, which is amusing in within itself. He's a contradiction. He's hostile while also allowing me to ride on his shoulders, but I guess I should be grateful that I'm not ran over by his treads.

Last, but oh no certainly not least, Magic Maaan. This guy can be annoying. Just annoying. With the how he interrupts times when it gets really serious, he pulls out a magic trick out his ass and it completely throws off the entire mood. I don't hate him, don't get me wrong. Some of his tricks are impressive, but I feel like he was just recruited as a King's number just to preform and entertain. I wanted to mention other things, but I also don't want to think about it... I hated that he treated me like a little kid though, I tell him that I don't like being called pet names or I don't want my hand being held for reassurance, but he does it anyways. I just let it happen and honestly I stopped caring since um..King does the same thing to me (T/.//T

Coldman.EXE 🧊🤖

Guy’s a walkin’ mini fridge. A big hit for those summer parties.

not even happening.

cold man’s a refrigerator. a super-refrigerator. you open up a refrigerator and you don't get a tender series of ice-cold love-tools ready to please you, you get old milk, maybe ice cream, and regrets about how you handled your paycheck. and you don't cream the ice cream, you eat ice cream after a horrible and tear-filled breakup.

cold man doesn't even do that, though. instead of holding ice cream, he holds goddamn dinosaur DNA in cryostorage on commission from Light Labs. that’s right, the biggest genius of 20XX decided to take the beef closet at his local McDonald's and give it legs, then make it go to temperatures generally reigning around FUCKING SHIT-ASS SUPER-COLD. all so that anyone who wants to see stegosaurus cock in the future has a convenient receptacle to put their research in. why did Dr. Light decide that brontosaurus poop was good to store next to the milk? who KNOWS

thankfully, cold man doesn't mind all the weird shit that gets shoved inside him. which you'd think would potentially provide an avenue to have a nice hand stroking across his mokumokumo maker and probe where Light's light don't shine, but he's not actually that involved with his inevitable role of developing Jurassic Park. and if he's not even going to work to make the dreams of children everywhere a reality, he certainly ain't gonna apply to Your-ass-ic Park as the Sexual Tyrannosaurus. he’s already happy enough getting filled to the brim with the flintstone’s family pet, you couldn’t add anything else even if you tried. his work doesn't really involve anything other than getting shit pushed in his torso and getting it taken out whenever they remember to, so he's kind of a chillax dude. rather than fucking, he just takes it easy, kicks back, and sips a frapp while waiting for whatever else he needs to hold. what's that? you wanna put another triceratops baculum in me? sure thing, man, dr. light's always happy to serve mankind. put it in deep, reeeeeal deep. awww yeah.

Cold Man:

*you’re a very sarcastic person, and you’ve been like that since you were pretty young

*Cold Man isn’t too bothered by it a lot of the time

*”you shouldn’t be so sarcastic all the time, Y/n, I don’t.. want to see you get hurt..”

*you understand what he’s trying to tell you, but you just can’t help it

*so Cold Man just lets you do your thing, but he will keep an eye on you… just in case.

Turbo Man:

*Turbo Man doesn’t particularly care for how sarcastic you are

*but he knows that it’s how you are, so he tries not to let it bother him

*you try not to be around him/to him, since you don’t want to upset him