#cod mwf3

However, you, in another world—a world that’s very different from his. You were living a normal life, humming to yourself while you took a step into your work office. Greeting your co-workers with a smile, brewing your coffee signing for a new day. A co-worker approached you, one of your close friends and said, “How’s your relationship with that Soldier Guy, huh?” she teased. You just shrugged, “What? We’re just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.” you replied. Preparing your coffee, a notification popped up on your phone. It’s him, Alejandro, asking you if you’re free after work hours. You smiled at the question, and replied with a ”yes” instantly.

But the smile didn’t linger for too long, a thought has been bothering you. “What’s your relationship with him? Are we really friends?” is all that you can think about. Alejandro has been a good guy, well, a man with respect and discipline. There’s not even a single flaw for how he treated you; but the two years of being more than friends and less than lovers made you felt bitter to think about. Celebrating each other’s birthday together, each achievements, him picking you up from work whenever he’s free, you praying for him to come home safely after each mission, sharing secrets, getting drunk at his house—and falling asleep together, side by side.

As hours passed by, Alejandro was getting ready to pick you up. He carefully checked his appearance a million times, making sure that he wore his perfume that you’ve always loved. Everything has been slowly coming into his mind, how he realized that two years has been long enough to set a clear boundaries—or seek for something else with you. All of his emotions, it’s pouring out straight from his heart, and Rudy’s statement from earlier was right. If you were in love with him, maybe, the two years is enough to determine what you both have. He couldn’t blame you either, he’s been a coward to tell you what he felt.

Meanwhile, you bid goodbyes to your coworkers with a smile as you waited at the exit—waiting for Alejandro. Your co-worker and a close friend, Lisa, who happens to stood beside you while waiting for a ride said “Waiting for him, ya?” and you just nod at her. “Seems like something’s bothering you, no? Let me guess, him?” she stated, voice sounding so sure about it. “I know you’ll be able to figure it out, Y/N. Time’s ticking, for you and for him, you might lose something that has always been around you. In front of you, even. You’ll be able to know that, just follow what your heart says, ya?” she said as she tapped you on the shoulder. Lisa waved her hand as you watched her get into her ride and disappear slowly from your sight.

A familiar car stopped in front of you and you knew who it is. Alejandro got out from his car and opened the passenger door for you, he’s always been like this. You smiled at him, taking a seat inside, as Alejandro get onto his car—he looked into your eyes and smiled before driving away from your workplace. The ride has been quiet, it’s like there’s a tension build-up between the both of you, or you’re the only one who’s feeling that way? Alejandro broke the silence first and said, “I know a spot. It’s my favourite place ever since I was a child.” he stated and you just smiled at him. Arriving at the destination, it’s some kind of garden with little benches. You knew he loved places like this but he never mentioned you this spot before, amusement covers your eyes as you saw the greens and the assorted flowers.

Alejandro takes your hand in his, almost contemplating, but you didn’t mind it—too occupied at your thoughts and your surroundings. He took you at one of the benches and guiding you to seat. He sat down and looked away, hands still intertwined, you decided to break the silence and said, “This place is too beautiful. I never knew that some kind of place like this existed.” Alejandro remained silent and looked at you warmly. “I want to tell you something,” he stated, his voice sounds hesitant and empty. You squeezed his hand a little and nod, afraid to let your emotions backfire at you.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you this, but I’ve always been afraid to say it. Two years has been a long run and you put my heart into its happiest place, I want you, mi vida. I loved you all this time, and I want us to get far from this—but I know that you’d have a different feelings from me. I just want to tell you this, because I do believe that two years is enough to determine what are we.” his voice thickens, his accent lingering, but voice sounded too bitter to hear. “Dos años son suficientes, siempre te he amado, cariño. (Two years is enough, I always loved you, dear.)” he squeezed your hand at his last sentence, you couldn’t understand what he said, all you knew that he’s speaking Spanish.

You don’t know where to find your words, too unsure of everything and too untrusted. You blurted out “We’re friends,” absentmindedly, battling with your own head that why you said that—you should’ve said that you feel the same too. “Friends doesn’t kiss and sleep together, Y/N.” he stated roughly but with warmth in his eyes. You felt attacked, heart panicking and mind flying somewhere else. It’s like your blood has been draining you out and you felt the heat of something’s burning inside yourself. You took your hand away from his, you don’t know why you were acting this way. But all you just knew that you’re overwhelmed but you don’t want him to go.

“Of all the ones that begged to stay, I’m still longing for you. Of all the ones that cried their way, I’m still waiting on you.”

“Tell me, mi amor, have you ever thought of everything? I couldn’t blame you, no, but I wanted to ask why... Does everything that happened doesn’t matter to you, mi vida?” he asked you. You feel your emotions all at once, it felt like they’re running to get you, “I loved you, Alejandro!! I feel the same way for y-you..” your voice broke, tears are in the verge of falling out. You intertwined your hand in his, fingers locked, “I don’t want you to go, Ale, I want you everyday and for everything.” voice still shaky and hands holding him tight.

“Maybe we seek for something that we couldn’t ever have, maybe we choose the only love we know we won’t accept.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. You’re right, friends doesn’t kiss and share the bed. I loved you more than everything! You don’t seem like a friend to me, Ale. I see you more than that. Literally, two years is such a long journey to determine what our relationship is. I love you all the time, but I just couldn’t say it right in front of you. Your love has always been in front of me, but I couldn’t accept it at that time.” you said, tears rolling down your eyes. You felt Alejandro’s arms wrapped around you, he shush you and kissed your forehead. “It’s not your fault, mi amor. Ninguno de nosotros está equivocado. (None of us are wrong.)” he whispered into your ears, lips brushing past against it.

“Or maybe we’re taking all the risks for something that is real, ’cause maybe the greatest love of all is who the eyes can’t see.”

Alejandro kept you closer in his chest, whispering sweet nothings in Spanish that you couldn’t even decipher. His tears almost rolled into his eyes, out of sadness that he felt earlier, or out of happiness that he’s feeling right now. One thing he’s sure of, he is much lucky to have you stand in the same way as him. To see his heart the same way you see yours. All he just knew, he told you what his heart has been longing to pour uncontrollably. The thoughts that always kept him in night, the thought that always popped into his mind whenever he looked straight into your eyes when you stayed up into his house.

He held you tight in his arms, feeling your heart to beat the same way in his. His mind has been blank but not empty, he got you now after all. You’re his now, and he’s yours. All the time, he’s always been yours. He doesn’t mind if you’ll take his heart and eat it out, as long as it’s you—it won’t matter to him. He doesn’t matter if he’d be stupid in love with you, he’ll always choose you in every lifetime.

He’d be proud to show you off, to Rudy, to the Vaqueros, and to the whole world. But still intelligent enough to lock you out—not to forbid your freedom but to keep you away from his enemies, to his dangerous world. After all, he cherish you like a precious gem that no one would be deserving to hold; not even him. He’d be okay as long as you stood by him. Mind too, for sure, body and soul, he’s always yours.

– taglist: @livelyinborderland, @ladysouthpaw1213

– credits for the gifs that I used: @tomc4t, @sweetmelodygraphics

It wasn’t long for his infidelity to be noticed, because even when he shows up being loving, attentive, and warm for you—his actions and routines are telling the opposite. You tried to tick a clock on his routines, and everything fell exactly the same. If he wouldn’t be home by 8 p.m., he’ll get home by 11 p.m., and it gave you a pang in the heart to realized that he may be setting a time for her and for you. It’s already 9 o’clock and he’s still missing until you heard his car pull up at the garage. “He’s a bit early tonight,” you thought. You can hear the footsteps approaching at your doorstep, trying to remain your calm demeanor at the dining area.

“I’m home, sweetheart! I’ve been missin’ ya all day.” he calls out, and it’s really ironic to think because you knew deep down that he had fun with his lover. Phillip found you at the dining area, waiting for him to settle down, he smiles at the view of you. He hugged you and kissed your temple, the smell of a lady’s perfume, cigarettes, sweat, and fresh sex lingering at him. You wanted to throw up at disgust, but something’s stopping you from it. You hugged him back and buried your face in his chest, the smell hits you harder. The harder you imagined everything, the harder it is to stop yourself from breaking down.

You’ve almost lose it when you looked up to him and caught a glimpse of evidence from his neck, you froze for a moment. Phillip pulled back from the hug and fixed his appearance, he clocked it out, he knew that you’ve noticed the marks on his neck. But he was born to lie and pretend, didn’t he? He took your hand in his, kissed it, looked up at you with his american smile. “How are you, sweetheart? Mm, still beautiful f’ me, yeah?” he said as he cupped your cheeks with his warm hands. You just smiled, afraid that your voice may betray you. All of it felt suffocating at the moment, your fury and sadness is already on its own way to consume you.

“Where have you been, Phillip?” you blurted out, voice filled with harshness. “Work, love. ’Ya know that, right?” he said calmly with humor. “Oh, are you mad at me ’cause I got home late? Sorry, sweetheart, they held me up with that useless meeting. But I’ll make it up to ’ya, don’t you worry, hmm?” he added while tracing circles at your back. He’s doing it again, Phillip knew how to get the best out of you, always. He’ll sweep away your thoughts by being sweet, making love to you, pleasuring you until those flickering lights escape out of your head. You flicked away from his touch, staring at him deeply, “Don’t sweetheart me now, Phillip. You know what I meant.” you said, Phillip just scoff at it, almost laughed.

“You bein’ morose because I got home late or just tryin’ to pick up a fight on me?” he asked, voice still filled with warmth. “Stop making me look like a fool, Phil. Tell me, how long do you keep seeing someone behind my back?” you speak, eyes feeling glassy. Phillip knew that he couldn’t get away with this, not that you almost cry, he knew that you’ve discovered the truth. But he couldn’t lose you too, maybe, one last lie will work for him? “Woah, be careful on droppin’ things, darling. You know I wouldn’t done that, right?” he questioned you, with him being caring, loving, attentive, gentle—he’s sure that his facade would make you drop your accusations on him.

“I know that you wouldn’t do that, Phil.” you said while reaching to his hand “but I guess I didn’t know you better. I kept trying not to doubt you, but you came home with those disgusting marks on your neck everytime.” you added. Phillip froze for a little moment, switching to his calm demeanor as soon as possible, before you see his reaction. He stayed silent, studying you before he makes his statement, “I expected a lot from you, Phillip, do you know that? I showed you all of the parts of my heart, all of my hiding spots. The one that’s been hurt, the one that’s yearning, grieving, and everything.” you said, taking your hand away in his. Phillip tried to reach out on you, but you avoided his touch.

“Tell me is there something wrong with me that made you look out for another? Is there something wrong that I didn’t give that made you find your comfort on her?” you said as your body shakes from fury, jealousy, and the feeling of betrayal. Phillip took advantage of your state, he knew that you’re questioning your own self. “Maybe it’s better to turn it out on you,” he thought. “You know that I love ’ya, right? But you’ve been missin’ out on me, darling. And with that, reinvention just happens. I need to find what I’ve been looking for, if not on you, maybe somewhere else.” he said. His voice filled with sadness, but his eyes looks pleading. Pleading for your forgiveness, or pleading that you’ll believe him.

“How dare you to put it on me, Phil? You’re nothing but a jerk to find your silly comfort in another woman. Fuck you and your reinvention. Missing out on you, really? God knows how I prayed for you to come home safely every time you got a mission, how I prayed that you’ll be alright because you’ve been dealing with the military and the government. He knows that I want nothing but your safety as always, Phillip.” you angrily speak to him as your tears rolled out on your eyes, you were breaking down in front of him. You’re trashing your arms in his chest, hitting him wherever you want to. He catched your hands in no time, he stayed still in front of you. “Enough, darling.” Phillip snapped.

You stopped, but you didn’t back down. You glared at him with all the darkest eyes that you have, feeling all the fury and rage that you have. “Yes, I was seeing someone behind your back. That was a mistake, I’m sorry.” he stated in a low voice, it’s the first time that you saw him felt cornered. It’s the first time that you saw him finding his words, after all the time that he’s calculating things, clocking out people’s behavior—he let his guard down. As much as you want to hold him right there, you still have the fury and rage in you. That doesn’t change the fact that he cheated. “It was wrong, I know.” he added, “Cheating isn’t a mistake, it’s a choice.” you cut him off.

“If you’ll only justify actions, then stop explaining yourself, Phil. I’m disgusted every time you flash me that american smile of yours that tells me that I am a fool for believing your explanations. I’m disgusted that you used all of my weakness as a weapon against me, turning the blame on me.” you said, your eyes felt dimming and your body’s shaking and weak. But you tried on keeping your posture steady. You won’t let Phillip turns you in again, take advantage of you again. “Darlin', forgive me, I’m sorry.” he said, reaching a hand on you. “We're done, Phillip.” you said to him, your voice came out warmly which you didn’t expect. You went to your shared bedroom, ready to take all of your things and disappear in his life entirely.

Phillip followed you, took your hand in his, “It’s not safe to go late at night. Do you want to stay in here just for tonight?” he asked, his tone is hesitant but he remains his calculating and calm demeanor. “There’s no way that I’m staying in this hell, Phillip. Every corner in here reminds me on how you broke my trust in you.” you snapped to him. Phillip knew it, that’s true, every corner in here will always reminds you on how he threw his facade while enjoying other’s company. But he knew that he really loved you, and he wasn’t cheating on your entire relationship with him. “That’s right, sorry.” he says as he dropped your hand. “I had enough kindness in me, Phillip. I hope you’ll be happy on what you chose, but I hope that lady would be a fool next to you. I hope she’ll be happy to take my spot next to you.”

“Darling, I love you.” Phillip said warmly, almost a whisper. “I love you more than anything, love. But I guess this is where this thing goes now, and if you truly love me, you’d think about it first. But you guys lasted up months until now, didn’t you?” you responded with a stern voice but eyes spreading warmth across him. “I’m sorry for hurting you, sweetheart.” he added, “I’m sorry, too, Phillip.” you responded again. You look into him once again, and it felt like the whole world paused around you. You loved Phillip, but you knew so much better, and you value yourself too. After all the things happened, you admitted that you lacked of yourself too—but that doesn’t justify his cheating.

“See you when I see you, Phillip.” you said, holding his hand and squeezing it a couple of minutes. “You can still come around here, darlin’. You can call me when you need something. Anytime. Anywhere.” he said while his head lowering. “I hope you’ll be happy, Phillip. Think of it as a curse or a wish, I may regret that I’m a fool for loving you so bad but I don’t regret the memories I created with you. I hope our memory lingers to you forever, the way my eyes look for you.” there was nothing else that covers your voice but anger. You’ve loved him so dearly, praying for his safety, serving him in this house, while him—he’s enjoying fucking around with some woman. “There will be a sunrise for me to start again without you, Phillip. It’s better for me to leave everything behind.”

“I’ll definitely see ’ya, sweetheart. I’ll give you time to rest, mhm? I will ask for your forgiveness, soon.” he muttered. “You’ll just keep hurting me by doing that, Phillip. I never want to see you again.” you replied in which he looks in disagreement. “There will always be happiness for the both of us, darlin’. See you around.” he said, kissing your temple all of a sudden leaving you no time to react. He took his keys and left, and that’s when it hits you—he left instead of you leaving so late at night. He let you have this house even when it felt like a torture to you, and you knew he’ll come back soon. “You’ll never have my forgiveness, Phillip.” you whispered into the thin air. Everything felt a sudden, your anger coming over you, Phillip handles you with gentleness, exchange of warmth, and now he left you. Wandering in this house forever. Or wondering why he left?

“There’ll be happiness after you and after me. Might as well because of you and because of me. I’ll be better soon.”

– taglist: @livelyinborderland, @ladysouthpaw1213

– credits for the dividers that I used: @cursed-carmine