#cocrackfest2022

Overheard at Watford

A collab with @mostlymaudlin, @pacey-bunce-loves-joey, @palimpsessed & @stardustasincocaine for @co-crack-fest

Rating: Teen

Words: 900 (fic is all pictures but the tweets = 900 words)

Summary: A Twitter account at Watford chronicles Simon and Baz's eighth year... it's a bit of a mess.

Evil Stuffed Animal [T, 2.1k]

For @co-crack-fest.

“From the back of a never-finished Magic Words assignment: ‘I lift my evil duvet and reach the bathroom to brush my evil bed hair and slick it back with my evil posh products.’”

“What the fu—oh.”

“It gets better. ‘All the evil rat blood flowing in my veins runs to my evil cock, which is as perfect as the rest of my body.’”

“Baz. Give it back. No. Baz. Baz, I'm serious. Stop reading. BAAAZ.”

//Or, Baz finds a fic about himself. Features evil chest hair and evil crisp crunching.

Happy @co-crack-fest, everyone! Predictably, I am behind and therefore posting on the last day but here we are. This is a very silly little ficlet for @foolofabookwyrm and @palimpsessed based on the idea that "there was only one bed" is a great trope, so what if I did the opposite of that? Check out the preview below, or go straight to ao3 :)

***

Simon

Baz and I have been driving all day, and when we finally pull up outside the hotel, I’m exhausted, and my wings are aching from being folded down tightly against my back for so long. I climb wearily out of the passenger seat, probably looking every bit as road-weary and haggard as I feel. I turn and watch Baz step out of the driver’s side and stretch; naturally, he looks absolutely perfect, like he’s in a bloody car commercial or something. He catches me staring at him and grins wolfishly.

“See something you like, Snow?” he teases.

“Yeah, a place to sleep,” I say, nodding towards the hotel behind him.

Baz huffs and crosses his arms, so obviously I have to go round to his side of the car and kiss the sour expression off of his face. Several long moments later, Baz pulls his lips away from mine with a sigh and drops his forehead onto my shoulder.

“We really should head inside,” he says into my shirt, making no effort to move.

Eventually, I have to get us going, collecting our bags from the boot and hauling them towards the front doors. Baz opens the door for me and leads the way to the front desk. A young witch with green hair is lounging behind the front counter, casting a Some like it hot on a pot of tea sitting next to her using a thick, gold bracelet. She carefully pours herself a cup, not looking up until Baz is standing right in front of her desk.

“Welcome to The Gryphon’s Tooth, the only magickal travel accommodations in Edinburgh,” she drawls with a heavy accent, “Room for two?”

“Yes, please,” Baz says.

She leans back in her rolling chair, snatching a pair of keys from one of the many hooks on the wall behind her. She grips the keys in one hand, holding her bracelet over them with the other.

“As you wish,” she casts, then hands the keys to Baz.

***

Happy April Fools Day! A national holiday here at crackfest headquarters ;).

Crackfest runs through April 4th! Make sure to follow this blog, check out the #cocrackfest2022 and look at works that get added to this ao3 collection.

I hope everyone has a good and fun time!!

The Gang Finds A Fanfic

Rating: Teen

Words: 1600

Summary: Simon finds a fanfic Baz wrote about him during Watford days. He shares it with the group chat.

Read the fic