#clopinxriver

With every step that Clopin took, he squeaked. And he was absolutely loving it.

It was the only thing in New Orleans that he could get that looked like a snowsuit. And it was sweltering inside - he could feel every pore on his body opening up, ready to fill the thing with sweat. It might as well be a hot tub suit with how much he was going to stew in it. And yeah, he could have put it in his luggage right away, and wore a normal outfit over to the Laveaus, but where was the fun in that? He wanted to show it off to the boys who weren’t coming.

He let himself into the house, knowing that he was expected. He would have even if he hadn’t been - just as Flotsam could at his own place with Kuzco. There was a risk of seeing some bare ass and maybe something dirtier, but that was just a risk that both of them took either way.

“Is it just me, or do I look like I double as anal beads?” He asked, striking a pose in the kitchen.

Fucking TOUGH.

It could have the fanciest, most expensive gemstone, and neither Flotsam nor Val would be impressed by that. Gemstones were actually a bit of a trigger given Cinderella. So common place with how Chip could cry them out. So all that kinda thing - out.

So he skipped past the jewelery stores. Wasn’t Flotsam’s style anyway. He wasn’t skilled enough to make something either, so - so antique stores.

And then there was trying to something that Val would want to wear too, though he’d gladly buy two rings if she wanted her own.

It took him more than seven stores before he finally came across something. He’d also taken his sister’s advice to River, had taken one of Val’s rings to check the size, to make sure it would fit perfectly before he’d put it on that pretty finger. And then a visit to a real jeweler to get it resized, and then perfect.

So the next time that River was able to come up for a visit, being well fed, and everyone was in the room together, he’d do it. And he didn’t even have to wait that long. They were all at the table - even Summer started to come into the room each and every time now rather than linger, joke around with the family, make everything feel normal, and he had the box in the pocket of the sweatpants that he was wearing. Nothing too tight, he didn’t want to give it away. Hand constantly in that pocket, playing with it, nervously. The Trouillefous were there, as per usual, Clopin having one of his brighter jester days after being dark for a couple of days. Whatever his mission had been, he seemed to have completed it but there was nothing on the news just yet. No deaths. No explosions.

But of course, he’d wait until the questions to River would start to go down. Might be waiting a while.

“So wait, if you only drink blood, does that mean you piss blood too, or do you absorb it?” Clopin would ask, getting to the real important questions. “Do you have to drink a lot before you can have a boner? Can we call it evening wood?”