"THE FALL OF METROPOLIS," Finale! The final (for now) battle between Superman and Lex Luthor! Wait, isn't Luthor practically a vegetable now? Is this just 22 pages of Superman beating up a cripple? No, it's actually a fair fight because Lex is back to his old Pre-Crisis habit of wearing purple robot armors (I guess they're traditionally more green than purple, but still).
As seen last issue, Lex's paralyzed body is being taken to S.T.A.R. Labs in an ambulance so they can administer the cure to the Clone Plague that left him in this state, but he's got other priorities: mainly, punching Superman. Following Lex's programming, a Kryptonian Battle Suit (the same one that Superman just sorta left laying around in Metropolis during "Reign of the Supermen") comes to retrieve him, trashing that poor ambulance in the process.
Now able to see and hear again thanks to the armor's sensors, Lex witnesses the destruction in Metropolis for the first time and is like "I can't believe I accidentally destroyed the city I love... anyway, let's destroy it some more!" More specifically, he wants to destroy the statue of Superman that stands atop what was once his tomb.
Superman comes to stop Lex from causing even more property damage (and prevent him from showing what's inside the tomb and spoiling a storyline that isn't supposed to start yet...). Superman evades the armor's punches and missiles, but Lex is able to club him with the statue itself -- which you already saw on the cover, but I'm showing it to you again because it's such a cool image.
Lex tries stepping on Superman and burning him with ignited rocket fuel (so hot that it turns the armor's hand into a stump), but Superman is Superman, so he ends up ripping the suit open, taking Luthor out... and flying him to S.T.A.R. so they can give him the cure. Because, again, he's Superman. But, unlike Superboy and other Clone Plague victims, Lex doesn't simply go back to normal after getting the cure: he's still paralyzed, probably because his clone body was "grown more quickly" than the others (he should sue that Dabney Donovan fellow for his shoddy rush job).
Of course, Lex blames Superman for the results of his own dumbass choices and swears that one day he'll make him pay...
...but, for now, he better get comfy in that bed, because he's gonna be there for a good while. THE END!
Plotline-Watch:
That closes the actual "Fall of Metropolis" storyline, but Metropolis will remain fallen for a little while longer.
This is also the end of the Clone Plague storyline, since Lex was the last surviving clone to get the cure. If you're wondering what happened to the Underworlders: at S.T.A.R., Dr. Kitty Faulkner says they all "seem to have perished." Damn, even the babies? That's brutal. Considering they never appeared again except in flashbacks, Kitty is probably right, but I prefer to believe they simply retreated even deeper underground and never had to deal with the surface world's bullshit ever again.
Lex wearing a green/purple armor finally fulfills the tease seen on the first page of 1986's The Man of Steel #5, when we're made to think a random goon in a proto-Lex-Men suit is Lex. Then we see businessman Lex himself and it's like "Ha! You thought this Lex Luthor would ever be caught dead inside something so corny? Dream on, nerds!"
This issue is written by Karl Kesel (plot) and Louise Simonson (dialogue) since Roger Stern left in Action #700 and the new guy hasn't arrived yet. Speaking of Stern, that blurb at the end saying that hopefully both he and Lex will return one day is exactly what's gonna happen, but it won't be in Action or any of the existing Super-Titles...
Shout Outs-Watch:
Awesome Kryptonian Battle Robot-sized shout outs to our supporters, Aaron, Chris āAceā Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, and Dave Shevlin! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletterās āpay what you wantā mode!
And now, keep reading for the great Don Sparrow's take on this issue, Roger Stern's run in general, and what does Clone Lex have between his legs...?
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start with the cover, and itās appropriate for a title like ActionāSupermanās Kryptonian warsuit duking it out with the Man of Steel at his own memorial.Ā Great sense of motion from the rubble flying off, without motion lines, which is a real feat.Ā It also reveals that the Superman statue in Metropolis Memorial Park is in fact stone or concrete.Ā This whole time I was imagining it was bronze (we donāt have many stone sculptures in my neck of the woods in Northern Canada, as they tend to crack with the wild temperature differentials).Ā
Inside weāre treated to back to back splash pages to open the story, both with a great look at the rogue warsuit in action.Ā The image of the suit plucking a stark naked Lex Luthor is a pretty memorable one. And if youāre a fan of nude Lex, this issue doesnāt disappoint.Ā I hesitate to even mention such a thing, but is this is the first canonical appearance of Luthorās pubic hair? Moving onā¦
[Max: I always took that as a shadow. That panel did make me wonder if Lex's clone body had everything, or if perhaps he asked Dabney Donovan to forget certain parts and just focus on making sure his pecs and abs remain rock hard even if a plague turns him into an old person.]
The image of Superman flying in to combat the Lex-driven warsuit is an all-timer, and would have made a great sticker.
The battle in this issue is reminiscent of the "Doomsday" storyline, in that weāre treated to super-sized panels, with only one or two images per page.Ā This is a treat, as the artwork really gets to breathe, but it has the unfortunate effect of making the issue a pretty quick read, as thereās a lot less text than in a normal issue. It also makes my job of picking the standout panels a little harder, as theyāre all pretty stunning throughout the book.Ā The image of a raging Superman, having just thrown some missiles back at Lex is a good one, and very en vogue in this era, the peak of Image Comics grim & gritty style.Ā The image of the warsuit brought to one knee was another standout, as I really appreciate the difference in textures, the sold lugubrious brushline on the warsuit denoting its shininess, against the greasepencil looking streaks in the sky illustrating tendrils of smoke.
We get another intense Superman image on page 19, where Superman marches out of the flame undaunted (visually recalling the utterly badass house ad for the Super titles in 1990).Ā One of the final images we see is Superman carrying the limp, near-dead body of Luthor into flight.Ā Again, I think decency dictated this poseāsurely carrying him in both arms, pieta style would have been safer for the passenger, but then weād get an eyeful. Is there a reason Lex couldnāt just be wearing underwear throughout? [Max: Lex hates Superman so much that he refuses to wear undies on the inside OR the outside.]
SPEEDING BULLETS:
Well, at least Superman also acknowledged that leaving the warsuit on the docks was stupid.
This issue seems to reveal that Kryptonian metal isnāt all that much more durable than regular metal, as Superman shatters the leg of the warsuit pretty easily.Ā In the silver age, it was unscientifically explained that Kryptonian metal was also super-charged by Earthās yellow sun and lessened gravity, making it way stronger than conventional metal.Ā
Itās a rare thing that a cover image comes to pass but we really do see Lex knocking Superman through his own memorial in a great splash on pages 10-11.
For such a knock-down drag out fight, taking the suit apart seems pretty easily for Superman on page 20āthe very next panel, Lex is out of the suit, and in Supermanās arms.
A side by side comparison reveals that they really did redraw Lex on the last panel, despite similarities to how he is shown on page 12.
We are left with a small farewell caption to the great Roger Stern, with a hint that heāand Lexācould return to the super-books in the future.Ā āWhen we least expect itā would prove to be a little over a year later, but weāll drive off that bridge when we come to it.Ā Perhaps because heās not a writer/artist like John Byrne, Dan Jurgens or Jerry Ordway, it took a little while for me to recognize Sternās greatness on these books.Ā But his Action Comics title consistently had some of the very best characterization and consistency in all these stories.Ā So many of my favourite moments (Lois finding out Supermanās secret identity, Batman getting Luthorās Kryptonite ring, the return of Amanda McCoy, the introduction of Maxima) were all Stern scripts, and thatās saying something.Ā While in retrospect, I donāt love Supergirl being a protoplasmic synthetic entity, or Lex Jr. being a secret Aussie clone of Lex Sr. (storylines that mainly featured in Action) those were interesting options for their time, and certainly donāt stand in the way of Stern being among the all-time greats when it comes to Superman writers.Ā And, from my own weird personal point of view, much of the spiritual stuff Iāve collected over the years in our now-famous Godwatch feature has come from Stern.Ā So, God bless you, Roger Stern!
In an interesting sidenote that has no better place than here to mentionāwere you aware that in the Law and Order franchise, there have been dozens of characters with the last name Stern, which originated as a shout-out to Roger Stern from fellow comics writer turned Law and Order writer Gerry Conway (creator of no less than Firestorm, Power Girl and Killer Croc)?Ā Thereās even a particularly creepy episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent where a perp has that exact name.Ā Conway also frequently used Hudson University in his episodes, which comics fans know is the alma mater of one Dick Graysonāwhich essentially means Law and Order is set in the DC Universe.Ā Cha-chunk! [Max: Wait, does that mean all of the DC Universe takes place inside some kid's snow globe?]
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"THE FALL OF METROPOLIS," Part 4! Metropolis is invaded by aliens! And werewolves! And Nazis! And Lois Lane dies! And Professor Hamilton loses a limb! Only one of these things ends up being true by the time the issue is over.
Metropolis is still in ruins after the explosive events of Action #700 (it's not like they can magically fix it from one issue to the next, right?) and on top of that, the city is now covered in so much fog that it's giving me Superman 64 flashbacks. But this is no regular fog: when some armed preppers walk through it, one of them suddenly hallucinates that his friends are alien invaders and kills them in a panic. Elsewhere, three soldiers are affected by the fog and start seeing everyone around them as "commies," the Viet Cong (so "commies" again), and werewolves (communist ones, presumably).
Superman stops a soldier from shooting a rabbi/imaginary werewolf, but the soldier sees him as a vampire while the rabbi thinks Superman is a Nazi (both solid Elseworlds premises).
While trying to contain all the people tripping balls around Metropolis, Superman runs into Lois, who's just chilling in the middle of the ruins. Just as Superman comments that he seems to be immune to whatever is making people hallucinate their worst fears, that trigger-happy prepper from before appears and shoots at them, thinking they're aliens (well, he's half right).
Superman just lets the bullets bounce off his chest... not noticing that one bounced in Lois' direction, fatally injuring her. NEXT: Reign of the Lois Lanes?!
Making matters worse, Ma and Pa Kent happen to stroll by, having seemingly traveled to war-torn Metropolis just to tell their son what a disappointment he is. Then Lex Luthor shows up too, with his luscious red locks inexplicably restored, and tells Superman none of this would have happened if he hadn't stolen Lois and Metropolis from him. Lex finally concedes that Metropolis is "Superman's city," but only because, as Superman just noticed, the city is full of nothing but corpses now.
Meanwhile, Professor Hamilton is having a tough time too: a prostitute has just shot him in the arm because she hallucinated that Hambone was her abusive pimp. Hamilton is rescued by a white-haired young lady who smacks the prostitute with a plank of wood. Ham and the girl jump into his car to escape the crazed crowd around them, but then he hallucinates his worst fear: not being able to operate a vehicle because the controls are too complicated.
"Also, I'm naked!"
The girl jump-starts the car's engine and they speed away from the crowd -- only to realize that being in a speeding car with someone who's hallucinating at the wheel isn't such a brilliant idea. They end up driving the car off a pier, and right before they do, we see that Ham happened to have a box full of something called "synthetic enzymes" on his back seat...
Back to Superman, he angrily flies into the sky with Luthor, who morphs into his old school bald self and goads Superman into killing him. Superman refuses to give in to hatred and delivers a speech about rebuilding a better, Lex-free Metropolis, causing Luthor to fade away, as does Lois' corpse. Right then, Hamilton and the white-haired girl come to tell Superman that they've figured out how to stop the hallucinations: no, not "facing and overcoming your deepest fears," but simply spreading that convenient "synthetic enzyme" throughout the city to negate the fog's effect.
(This is why I never leave the house without synthetic enzymes in my car since reading this issue.)
Superman makes the enzyme rain down over Metropolis and everything goes back to normal... except for Professor Hamilton who, to quote Arrested Development, is now "all right," because he lost his left arm. Superman and Hamilton figure out that the crazy fog was another one of Luthor's "fail-safes" in case he was ever defeated, like the killer robots that have been attacking Metropolis over the past weeks (Man of Steel #35 and Superman #91).
But there's still one fail-safe left, and it's a big one...
The loss of Professor Hamilton's arm will be the longest-lasting consequence of Metropolis' destruction. (It will also be used to turn him into a villain after this era, but we won't be covering those issues and I'm glad.) I like that good ol' Ham is so absent-minded that he seems to have forgotten about his missing arm like five minutes after they amputated it. He also forgot that his hair is supposed to be grey, apparently.
There's a dark irony to Hamilton losing a limb after being shot by a prostitute, considering that Adventures #425, his second appearance, was about him kidnapping a "strumpet" at gunpoint out of desperation after Luthor stole his invention. He did his time and got his shit together after that, though.
Yes, Luthor's final fail-safe is the Awesome Kryptonian Battle Robot, which was built in ancient Krypton, sent to the Phantom Zone, ended up in the Fortress of Solitude (where Professor Hamilton used it to play tag with robots), and was most recently used by the powerless, recently resuscitated Superman to walk from Antactica to Metropolis during "Reign of the Supermen." I guess Superman sorta lost track of it after that, but to be fair he did have a lot on his mind at that point.
At S.T.A.R. Labs, Dr. Kitty "Rampage" Faulkner tells Superman that right before Project Cadmus was destroyed (as far everyone knows, anyway), they used some fantastic sci-fi technology called a "modem" to send S.T.A.R. their info on the cure to the Clone Plague. Despite Luthor being a dick in and out of Superman's hallucinations, Superman still makes sure he's delivered to S.T.A.R. at the end of the issue so they can apply the cure (though we already know he won't stay there for long).
"Mardis" up there is Dr. Jean Louis Mardis from the recent S.T.A.R. Corps miniseries, who is somehow still employed by S.T.A.R. despite trying to pass off alien tech as his own inventions, accidentally turning a bunch of regular people into superpowered freaks and nearly causing an AI to conquer the world. S.T.A.R., which has also employed Hamilton in the recent past, seems to be big on second opportunities.
As far as I can tell, that white-haired young lady who has a weird amount of protagonism in this issue Never Showed Up Again. [EDIT: k9feline reminded me in the comments that she DOES show up again, with her rock band! Shame on me.] Given the color of her hair, her surprising skill with machines, and the fact that she keeps calling Professor Hamilton "pops," I'm gonna assume she's supposed to be his secret lovechild (with a prostitute?).
Big Belly Burger sighting! "Eat 'em!"
Shout Outs-Watch:
Big belly shout outs to our supporters, Aaron, Chris āAceā Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, and Dave Shevlin! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter's "pay what you want" mode!
And now, stick around for The Don Sparrow Show:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We open with the cover, and itās a pretty affecting one, a pieta style pose with a massive Superman mourning an apparently grievously injured Lois Lane.Ā Very emotional, and pretty restrained, in terms of '90s-excessesāin the hands of a lesser artist, the idea of Loisā tattered clothes would be treated as titillating rather than sorrowful, so itās an effective choice that Barry Kitson makes here.
The cover is all the Kitson we get, as the interiors are handled by Pete Krause, a terrific artist, and soon-to-be companion of Jerry Ordway on the excellent Power of Shazam! series.Ā Though I think his sharpest work is ahead of him, his pencils are solid throughout this issue, an interesting middle ground between the shadowy slickness of someone like Stuart Immonen (indeed, I donāt remember Krause ever looking so much like Immonen), and the pure linework of someone like Tom Grummett. The shot of Superman rescuing the old man is a great one.Ā Our introduction to Lois Lane in the story is also a cute panel, as Superman greets her with a (fairly wide) open mouth kiss.
The image of Professor Hamilton getting shot in the arm is something of a mixed bagāthe expression of pain is great, but it also doesnāt actually show him getting shot (the drawing appears to indicate that he was only grazed by the bullet) but we later learn that the injury is so severe his arm must be amputated. [Max: I also got the impression that the injury wasn't so severe, but the girl does mention that Ham spent "hours" looking for Superman without getting medical attention, so that didn't help.]
The smoke is well used as a framing device for the dream sequences, as both the cause of the hallucinations, and a good way of demonstrating the dream like quality that feverish fantasy lends.Ā The panel of a majestic Lex II is particularly well done.
The best panel in the book might be on page 16, where an enraged Superman flies Lex II up up and away, and Lexās roses fall to Earth, giving a real sense of height and motion.Ā
The pages where Superman puts Hamiltonās cure into action are great, as Superman soars into action, and creates a water spout to deliver the cure.
Finally, I always love seeing the Mignola-designed Kryptonian battle suit in action, and itās an efficient piece of storytelling that Lex picked it up when it was just abandoned on the harbour in the "Reign of the Superman" storyline.
Iām not generally a fan of dream sequences as I often find them to be indulgent writing, and also inconsequential plottingāthey rarely mean anything more than actual dreams do.Ā But this issue on the whole wasnāt as frustrating as some fever dream issues can be, as Karl Kesel deftly uses Supermanās nightmarish doubts to fuel action that did matter to the plot.
SPEEDING BULLETS:
Though the film is decades away, the alien infected soldiers from Jeff Scullyās chemically induced reverie look for all the world like the Orcs from the unrelentingly terribly 2017 movie from future terrible Superman writer Max Landis, Bright.
I canāt remember a time when a one-off character got so many name mentions as Jeff Scully, who gets identified no fewer than three times in the book.Ā I wonder if it was a buddy of Karl Keselās perhaps.Ā [Max: Since he's obsessed with aliens, I always took it as a little X-Files shout out.]
Then on the other end of the spectrum, weāre introduced to the lady in the headband who pulls a Thelma and Louise off a pier with Professor Hamilton, but in spite of having pages of dialogue, is never given a name, that I can find.
The ābaker to alphaā soldier is a dead ringer for Pork Chop Hill era Gregory Peck, in my estimation.
Iām not entirely sure who Iād cast as Emil Hamilton, but in the final pages of this story, he looks a lot like Awakenings era Robin Williams to me.
I had forgotten exactly how Hamilton lost his arm, I just remember that he suddenly had a robot arm.Ā Itās a bit odd that a high tech character like him loses his arm to plain old gunfire. Ā Ā
Am I alone in being confused why the toxin was able to affect Supermanās super-efficient system?Ā Though he needs to breathe, traditionally, heād never show much vulnerability to gases in past stories. [Max: I guess it's possible that Lex intentionally designed it to be strong enough to affect Superman, and the military rejected it when they were like "uh, why does the budget include a $100 million 'Kryptonian respiratory system research' item...?"]
GODWATCH:Ā A very overt reference to the almighty from our Holocaust survivor elderly man, thanking both God and Superman for dispelling the fear toxinācomplete with a literal and symbolic rainbow after the storm.
One wonders if Lexās weaponized fear toxin was in any way based off of Batman villain Scarecrowās concoction.Ā Seems like a missed opportunity, though itās a pretty jam packed issue.Ā
"THE BATTLE FOR METROPOLIS" STARTS HERE! Well, not here here, since most of the issue is actually just the setup for the battle itself, but this still counts as the first part of the storyline that will reshape the City of Tomorrow forever (in comic book terms, so "for a few months").
We start with Lex Luthor Jr. being interviewed on a panel-style TV show that conveniently recaps all the relevant plot points: Lex Jr. is at war with Project Cadmus because he blames them for the virus that's killing all the clones in Metropolis (including Lex Jr. himself, because he's actually Lex Sr. in a clone body). The Underworld clones living in Metropolis' sewers also blame Cadmus for their malaise and have been voicing their displeasure by breaking Cadmus shit all over the city, using big '90s-type weapons Lex secretly provided.
During the interview, Lex points out that Metropolis' so-called protector hasn't been terribly helpful during the current crisis, but that's because Superman's been occupied dealing with his power issues -- as in, his superpowers going out of whack, not that his landlord cut off his electricity or something. Fortunately, Superman managed to get rid of his excess powers last issue by just letting the Parasite absorb them (which turned the Parasite into a big-ass monster, but that's a problem for another storyline).
After recovering from his fight with the (now-missing) Parasite and confirming with Professor Hamilton that his powers are completely back to normal, Superman catches up with Lois Lane, who recently lost her job due to Lex's h4xx0r skillz. Talking to Lois, Superman finally learns the shocking truth about Lex Luthor Jr. = Lex Luthor Sr., and he also finally connects the dots between the clones of Metropolis getting sick and Lex suddenly looking old and frail.
When Superman goes to confront Lex, he sees that a kinkily dressed-Supergirl is about to kill him and has to stop her (see the Supergirl miniseries for more details on how the heck that happened).
Once Supergirl leaves, Superman goes after her, apparently forgetting what he came to LexCorp for (or deciding to give poor Lex a break, given his frail state). Lex's faithful medical team, Drs. Kelley and Packard, end up putting him in a "hyperbaric chamber"/big healing tube and chopper him to his private yacht so he can recover.
Meanwhile, the city is being evacuated and things are tense between the various groups that are supposed to protect it. A fight is about to break out between members of Team Luthor, the Special Crimes Unit, and Project Cadmus, when some nasty Underworlders suddenly emerge from the ground and attack the Cadmus guys. Superman drops by to reason with the Underworlders, and they actually seem to be listening to him... until Lex, from the safety of his yacht, remotely fires one of those sci-fi guns he gave the Underworlders, and all hell breaks loose. OK, now we can say the battle has started. TO BE CONTINUED!
Plotline-Watch:
We get an appearance from Jimmy Olsen's mom AND Bibbo in the same page?! Oh boy. Unfortunately, Jimmy himself appears too (along with Ron Troupe, both riding Bibbo's bike straight into the danger zone). Interesting that Jimmy has an Uncle Fred and Aunt Lynn in the city, yet he still ended up living in his car for a while. Is there a a deleted scene where he asked if he could crash with them and they just laughed for ten minutes?
Lex publicly blames Cadmus for destroying his private homes all over the world, but those who read the Supergirl mini know that was actually S-Girl subtly letting him know she's breaking up with him. Incidentally, in Supergirl #4, she actually throws Lex through his office's window and Superman rescues him, but in this issue, Superman arrives before she can throw him. Continuity error... or an anomaly caused by a certain time crisis looming in the horizon?!
When Superman is having his check-up with Professor Hamilton, he notices Hamilton seems distraught -- Hambone claims it's because of the chaos going on in the city, but I think it's clearly because Superman didn't even comment on the fact that he just dyed his hair brown at some point since his last appearance.
What with the city being under martial law and all, Perry White moves the Planet's city room to the newspaper's printing plant on the edge of town, and thinks to himself: "I've endured fires, blackouts, and riots, but I've never been forced to evacuate my own city room... until now." He might be talking about the fires, blackouts, and riots that happened during and around the "Blackout" storyline, when Metropolis was going through a Lex-triggered economic crisis.
Incidentally, Perry also seems to notice for the first time that all of the Planet's computer equipment was made by his biggest enemy's company, so he asks to see a test run of anything that's printed from now on. Don Sparrow says: "Interesting that Perry White, no longer a reporter, is the first to have the notion of checking the presses while investigating the wacky headlines Lois was purportedly creating. Lois and Clark are both intrepid newshounds, and neither of them thought of that? I suppose Clark was busy being enormous at the time."
Mayor Berkowitz, usually a level-headed chap, sides with Luthor and says on TV that Cadmus is intentionally creating all that chaos as revenge for that time he and Lex didn't let them steal Superman's corpse (during "Funeral for a Friend"). Surely this means Lex will finally forgive Berkowitz for having him arrested way back in The Man of Steel #4, right? (Spoilers: haha, no.)
I mentioned in our post about Man of Steel #33 that the nonchalant way in which Lois told Superman about Lex Jr. being a clone kinda bugged me. It was so nonchalant, in fact, that Superman didn't even seem to remember that bit of information in this issue, since he exclaims "What?!" when Lois mentions it again. Or maybe he thinks Lex Jr. being a clone was predictable but it's the part about him having Lex Sr.'s brain that took him by surprise? Either way, I'm actually glad we got a do-over on that moment, even if it still wasn't as dramatic as I would have hoped for.
Patreon-Watch:
This post was published today and not in like three months thanks to the Superman '86 to '99 Patreon gang, Aaron, Chris āAceā Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, and Bol. You rule!
You know who also rules? Don Sparrow, who has more commentary on this issue after the jump...
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start off with the cover, and itās a very blocky, Kirby-like pose, of Superman fast-walking into gunfire.Ā I love the one eye in shadow, which gives the pose an intimidating and mysterious air weāre not used to seeing with Superman.Ā As always, Guiceās Superman seems to have the longest Tarzan locks (at least until Stuart Immonen joins the team) and thatās true here.
Inside the issue we get extremely '90s guest artwork by Norman Felchle and James Pascoe, and while itās not my cup of tea, he is remarkably consistent throughout.Ā Felchle would go on to do storyboard work for Pixar, Netflix, Marvel and others, so hopefully he isnāt sweating the criticism from a never-was like myself! The opening splash page is a good example of the 90ās style āextremeā stylization, as we see a computer-generated Lex Junior with a big old curly tress blocking his eye.
The length of this stylization changes panel to panel.Ā We get more extreme linework a page later as Perry Whiteās disapproving expression makes his forehead look like cracking clay. [Max: Are we sure this isn't Darkseid posing as Perry as part of some nefarious plan?] After this argument, we get our first look at Superman himself, and itās not bad overallāthe S-shield is consistent throughout, and his wavy hair is well rendered.Ā One of the main things that bug me about this art style (apart from when he attempts regular clothing, but weāll get to that) is that every male character has an identical nose, particularly from the front view.Ā Once I noticed it, I couldnāt stop seeing it. [Max: Dang, can't unsee it either.]
A few pages later, as Superman trails the Parasite underground, we get an example of Felchleās penchant for perhaps-unnecessary detail.Ā Rather than the gritty cement he has at the top of the panel, the Metropolis sewer is drawn to have been made up of European cobblestone, which is both pleasing to look at, and an unlikely building material, especially some 20 feet below the ground.Ā Felchle does excel at motionāthereās a great image of Superman flying away from Professor Hamiltonās apartment.
Itās followed immediately, however, by the strange physics of Lois Lane dislodging a cathode ray television set with a couch pillow! The following page is the best example in the book of Felchleās aforementioned weakest pointādrawing regular humans in regular human fabric.Ā Loisā green sweater clings in such an unnatural and revealing way to her body that it appears to be made of cellophane (there was a similar instance earlier in the book when a beat copās uniform appeared to have been painted on, and again in a few pages on poor old silver-haired Sarah Olsen).Ā [Max: To be fair, Byrne did establish early on that Mrs. Olsen is actually pretty young and attractive, but her hair greyed prematurely.] Sadly for the industry, this kind of cheap fan service depiction of women would become the norm rather than the exception in the decade to come, but in this era, it is a real deviation from the naturalistic look weāve gotten used to.Ā
Thereās just a ton of stories going on here, perhaps too many to comfortably deal with in a single issue.Ā We have the abrupt end of the Super-giant storyline (with no sighting of the Parasite that Superman crashed to Earth with), the who-cares war between Cadmus and the Underworlders [Max: I care, Don! I care!!], the Lois-bonkers headline storyline, the Lex-is-dying storyline, and then even a glimpse at Supergirlās mini-series.Ā Itās no wonder this issue feels quite long, but also incomplete.
Itās nice to see a little more of the Daily Planetās operations, but the introduction to plant manager Jeff (no last name) and Jane (no last name) are so quick, and staged so distantly, we really get no sense of them as people.Ā [Max: Jane Stewart, Don! Big fan of Jane Stewart, who appears for all of three panels. I don't know if she ever shows up again, but I'm giving her a tag on the blog anyway.]
Without saying too much, theyāre certainly telegraphing who the mole in Lexās organization is.Ā Whenever this character appears in this issue theyāre either admonishing Lex, or revealing details of Lexās life to underlings.Ā The reveal theyāre setting up for really doesnāt feel so shocking after all this. [Max: Is it Vekko? I bet it's Vekko.]
"THE BATTLE FOR METROPOLIS," Part 2! Lex-Men vs. Dubbilex-Men! I know it's not true, but part of me feels like they introduced Lex Luthor's armored security force a few years ago and Project Cadmus' Dubbilex back in the '70s just so they could make that pun in this cover. I don't think anyone has ever referred to Cadmus' security force as "Dubbilex-Men" before this issue, but you have to admit that's a snappier name than "Cadmus' security force."
Anyway, last issue ended with all hell breaking loose in the middle of Metropolis, and in this one... it continues to break loose. Team Luthor fights Cadmus while the Special Crimes Unit tries to stop the Underworld clones and the Underworld clones try to kill everyone, with Superman quite literally stuck in the middle.
The Underworlders, as we've recapped a million times by now, are furiously attacking the surface world because they blame Cadmus for the plague that's killing them. At one point, the Underworlders seem to run away from the fight -- but that's only because they've been leading the humans to a bomb they planted, causing a huge explosion in the middle of the city.
Lex Luthor Jr., who secretly supplied the bomb, is watching the action through hidden cameras and doesn't seem terribly concerned about the fact that his bomb killed a bunch of his employees, too. What's even more disturbing is that the Clone Plague is rapidly turning into the Cryptkeeper (to think he looked like red-haired Fabio a few weeks ago...).
Meanwhile, Lois Lane gets a message from her mysterious source inside LexCorp offering her new evidence of Lex's crimes (which is good, because Lois lost the old evidence when her apartment blew up). Lois sneaks into LexCorp following her source's instructions, and finds a secret office where she retrieves two important items: a VHS tape showing Lex strangling his personal trainer, and a big map of Metropolis showing that Lex has a lot more bombs hidden all over the city. Uh-oh.
Back in the battle zone, some Cadmus troopers led by Guardian, a.k.a. Cadmus' very own Captain America, find themselves surrounded by an army of pissed-off Underworlders (who are apparently much better at strategy than the humans). Dubbilex, freshly arrived from Hawaii, flies in to the rescue with some Cadmus paratroopers, but some Lex-Men get in their way and try to kill them. Dubbilex and Guardian are the only clones who aren't dying, which the Underworlders see as confirmation that Cadmus intentionally caused the plague. (The fact that the Newsboy Legion kids are dying doesn't prove much, since they're pretty annoying and I could see Director Westfield deeming them acceptable losses.)
Dubbilex is actually feeling pretty conflicted about having to fight other ugly clones like himself, until he sees that Clawster (the big, rocky, supposedly invulnerable Underworlder players of the Death and Return of Superman video game mistook for Doomsday's kid brother) is about to kill Guardian. Dubbilex launches a psychic blast that takes away Clawster's invulnerability, allowing the paratroopers to blast the hell out of him. It looks like Clawster is down for the count, but in his final moments he rages at Guardian and breaks his shield (another thing that was supposed to be unbreakable) as he makes some pretty good points about Cadmus' Director Westfield.
Superman remembers this comic is about him and arrives just in time to see Clawster dying and Guardian being left badly injured. The other Underworlders scatter, and just as Superman is saying there must be some way to stop the senseless killing, Lex remotely detonates another bomb right in his face. TO BE CONTINUED!
Character-Watch:
That's it for Clawster, who had the misfortune of being introduced in Man of Steel #17 and ending up being seen as a lamer and (barely) more articulate version of Doomsday. I'll admit I was still kinda fond of this knucklehead, and I think he could have ended up being a more memorable villain if he'd had better timing. Sadly, there will be no Clawster/Prey miniseries where he comes back. His only other appearances after this were 2011's Retroactive issue, which is set before this one, and an unexplained cameo in a montage of Steel fighting various villains in 2010's Superman #697, though you only see his back. Maybe it WAS Doomsday's kid brother that time.
(Unrelated: Is that Professor Hamilton's building in the background?)
Plotline-Watch:
Dubbilex arrives in Metropolis halfway through the issue along with his young ward, Superboy, who is in pretty poor shape, not just due to the Clone Plague but also the events of Superboy #5 (which we haven't covered yet). Superboy tries to go help Superman anyway, but he instantly collapses in the middle of the infirmary. THAT'S how brave Superboy is. Or maybe he didn't want to be stuck with the Newsboy Legion in the infirmary.
Despite not currently working for the Daily Planet, Lois still calls Perry White to tell him about the first explosion and tip him off about where the Underworlders are headed next, so that Perry can send Jimmy Olsen and Ron Troupe there. THAT'S how professional Lois is. Or maybe she's just trying to get Jimmy killed, which I understand (sorry, Ron).
Speaking of Jimmy and Ron, as we saw last issue, Bibbo is helping them follow the action in his bike, until they find out some Underworlders are trashing the Ace O'Clubs. Big mistake: Bibbo produces a big shotgun from somewhere (does he have Bloodsport technology?) and goes in to deal with the looters. The scene ends there, because this is an all-ages comic.
Professor Hamilton feels responsible for triggering this war because he's the one who told the Underworlders that the Clone Plague was probably caused by the time Westfield flooded Metropolis' tunnels. In the middle of all the fighting, Clawster drops by to tell Hambone that they'll spare him and reassure him that he didn't cause the war: the truth caused the war. The truth that he told them. Yeah, that'll make him feel better.
There's a short scene with Myra the Orphanage Lady saving Keith the Unlucky Orphan from being eaten by Kathana, the same hypnotic lizard lady Keith once mistook for his mom (it was dark). Kathana actually tried to turn Keith into a stew in the aforementioned Man of Steel #17, and apparently she's been biding her time waiting for another opportunity since then. Keith is very lucky to have Myra in his life.... for now, anyway.
In this issue we meet Lois' exceptionally dedicated mailman, Fred Bentson, who tracks her down in the middle of an active war zone to give her the mail she hasn't gotten since her apartment blew up (including that note from her LexCorp source). Then, Fred says something about how he'd rather "stay in Dakota" but he keeps waking up in Metropolis. This is a little teaser for a crossover that will happen within this storyline and right before another, bigger crossover, just in case you'd forgotten this is a '90s comic.
Apparently, Lex is a huge fan of the film Metropolis -- so much so that he hides tapes with incriminating evidence under a statue of the lady robot from that movie.
Patreon-Watch:
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And now, join the great Don Sparrow for more commentary, after the jump!
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start with the cover, and itās a pretty dramatic one.Ā Superman and the Guardian in a pieta-like pose.Ā Bogdanove skirts the comics code authority by making all that blood black, which to me is somehow more upsetting than if it were red.Ā Kudos for the letter design on the battling Lex-Men and Dubbilex-Men.
Inside we start with a pretty arresting image of a group of five underworlders grappling with Superman, followed by a double page spread of Superman hurling them off in different directions.
The rumpled texture on the bulletproof vests of the Special Crimes Unit is particularly well rendered. The combination of colours and metallic helmet made me think for a moment that DCās Peacemaker was fighting alongside Maggie Sawyer in that last panel on page 3.Ā As always, Dennis Jankeās inks are masterful at differentiating texture, and thatās never clearer than on Clawsterās bark-like skin.
Later on we get our first look at Lex, and thereās a little dissonance between how he looked last issue, which took place only a few minutes before this one, and how he looks in this one.Ā [Max: I wonder exactly what type of drugs Dr. Kelley is giving him...] His deteriorated body and unblinking eyes are pretty intense.Ā
A page later we get a look at a character who will become important in a future story, Fred Bentson, mail carrier of two worlds.Ā In these pages he looks like Austin Pendelton by way of The Real Ghostbustersā Egon Spengler.
The issueās frenetic pace continues, as Superboy arrives by marine helicopter (both the chopper and Cadmusā tank are great vehicle design).Ā Superboy is kind of tossed into the middle of the story without so much as an asterisk informing us where we can learn what has left him so injured. [Max: Yeah, the lack of a plug for the Superboy series is very uncharacteristic. Not even in the lettercol!]
Fairly suddenly, Jimmy Olsen, like both Superman and Clark Kent, has long hair.Ā [Max: I distinctly remember Jimmy having long hair since the issue when Clark moves in with him because the panel of him saying "Let's crank some Van Halen to celebrate!" is burned into my brain, but it's less consistent than Superman's.] The same page also has a great drawing of Bibbo racking a shotgun, and the pose and the expression are both great cartooning.Ā Thereās plenty of fight choreography throughout the book, but my favourite look is Lois Laneās Rockette-like takedown of the LexCorp security guard.Ā
Later on, Myra from the orphanage does battle with maybe the most terrifying mutant of the book, Kathana, who looking like a combination of a baphomet statue and a Jim Henson creation, will haunt my dreams for all time.Ā The character of āFancy Feetā is just such a Bogdanove looking creation (and I gotta love those kicks he wears!).Ā [Max: They DO look quite fancy!]
The issueās most dramatic moment is when Clawster splits Guardianās up-until-now unbreakable shield.Ā I know Max and I donāt always see eye to eye on the Underworlders, so I imagine as a reader Iām supposed to be a lot more choked up about Clawsterās death than I am.Ā My feeling from this scene was more that Clawster was an unworthy shatterer of Guardianās shieldāhaving the shield be depicted as indestructible for so long, its destruction should have felt like a big moment.Ā While itās well-drawn, it feels more like a throwaway.Ā Indeed, this whole issue feels like a āmiddleā that weāre dropped into.Ā The battle has begun at the start, and it doesnāt resolve, or change direction by the time the story ends.Ā If it feels like Superman doesnāt greatly impact the story, youāre completely rightāhe only appears in 6 out of the 22 pages in this comic bearing his name. [Max: I think the issue does have two important developments: 1) the Underworlders are now leaderless, and 2) what's left of Guardian's trust in Westfield has been shattered, much like the shield. Oh, and 3) Fancy Feet's feet are fancy.]
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
Were X-Men still the top seller by 1994?Ā If so having a cover battle with forces that both rhyme with X-Men might have been a calculated idea.
Itās pretty crazy to see Maggie Sawyer just blowing mutants away.Ā Also, I know that itās so we can identify her as readers, but she really ought to be wearing a helmet!Ā Between Maggie and her squad, Bibbo, and even Hamilton, this is a pretty gun-heavy issue!
As with the Hulking Superman story, Iām a little fuzzy on the detailsāis Professor Hamilton correct that the clone sickness is from exposure to the flood? [Max: I think so, though I kinda prefer Lex's made up explanation that he got sick from the toxins in Engine City. They could have said Lex was patient zero and the virus spread to the rest of Metropolis because he doesn't cover his mouth when he coughs.]
As Lois learns the locations of the bombs, theyāre both nods to comics creators of the past.Ā āBoring and 57thā refers to 40ās and 50ās Superman artist, Wayne Boring; āBurnley and 43rdā refers to Jack Burnley, the second artist to regularly draw Superman, after Joe Shuster himself.
This month: Superboy gets animated! Supergirl gets even! Steel gets that cool-ass Jon Bogdanove cover up there!
Superboy #4 (May 1994)
Superboy is pretty sick due to that pesky Clone Plague running through the Superman titles, so his friends try to cheer him up by showing him the pilot episode for Superboy: The Animated Series. The episode is about two villains called Lock 'n' Lode trying to kill Superboy's manager, Rex Leech, depicted as a handsome "philanthropist and adventurer" in the show (because he's the one who paid for it). Meanwhile, Dubbilex appears as Rex's "wacky telepathic D.N.Alien butler" and Roxy Leech as an "undulating mass of primordial slime," which neither of them appreciates.
The animated scenes are drawn by late Batman Adventures artist Mike Parobeck in that classic broad-chinned Bruce Timm style, so this issue serves as kind of a preview for the other animated-style DCU titles that would come later in the decade (I always thought it was funny that Superboy got an "animated" design before Superman himself did). Anyway, in the show, Lock 'n' Load are defeated thanks to Rex's cleverness, mastery of geometry, and flawless marksmanship, though Superboy helps too. We even get a happy ending for Roxy, as an accident in the "Super-Grotto" causes her to evolve into fungus.
Unfortunately, things are less cheerful in the real world, since the issue ends with Superboy collapsing in the kitchen and his friend Tana remarking that he's not breathing. TO BE CONTINUED!
Supergirl #4 (May 1994)
Final issue! After finding out that Lex Luthor Jr. has been playing her for a gosh-danged fool all these years, the all-new, all-edgy Supergirl goes around the world torching Lex's properties (after making sure all employees have evacuated them, because she's still a sweetheart deep down). Lex figures out what Supergirl is doing and sets an explosive trap in one of his properties that leaves her as a pool of protoplasmic goo on the ground.
But Supergirl was only playing dead, so she uses the fact that Lex thinks he killed her to surprise him at LexCorp Tower. However, once she reaches Lex's office, Supergirl finds out that the red-haired adonis she was expecting to see has been replaced with a frail bald guy in a floating wheelchair. The shock of seeing Lex like that makes Supergirl drop her guard for a moment, which is enough for him to try to kill her again. Lex crawls into his Team Luthor armor for protection, but an even-more-pissed-off Supergirl tears him out and actually throws him through a window to a certain death.
For better or worse, Superman shows up just in time to save Lex, even though he looks like he might drop dead any second anyway. Supergirl is shocked to learn that Lex wasn't lying about his sickness, especially because she would have gladly helped him if he'd just asked her instead of sneakily cloning her to try to make a cure. Supergirl morphs back into her old self as she flies away in tears.
In the epilogue, the Kents let Supergirl know she's very welcome to come live with them again, but she decides she wants to travel the world and grow as a person/sentient lump of protomatter. The miniseries ends a few months later, with Supergirl going to Paris to reunite with Lex's ex-wife Elizabeth Perske, who agrees to be her new mentor. Perske will appear in a few issues of Supergirl's solo series, but the more interesting part in this flash-forward is the mention that U.S. Congress has "passed a measure approving aid for strife-torn Metropolis." Look out for some strife in the main Superman comics, coming soon!
Steel #4 (May 1994)
Steel's evil former employers at Amertek want to get back at him for destroying their headquarters last issue, so they hit him at a place where they know he'll be: at the funeral for a kid who died during a gang fight due to their weapons. Did I mention they're evil? They send a shirtless dude hopped up on Tar, the drug that turns people into Rob Liefeld characters, to crash the funeral, and since John Henry doesn't have his armor on, he has to hit the attacker with church pews until the drug runs out. (Would have been cool if he'd built himself a new armor out of church pews on the spot.)
The attack intensifies the gang war going on in the tough streets of D.C., resulting in another little kid getting shot (an adorable boy named Paco who wanted to be a gang member when he grew up). Then, the issue ends with John's niece Natasha getting ran over by a gang member's car as she's going to the hospital to see Paco. I have a feeling this comic is trying to tell us something about gangs, but I'm not sure what it is.
Oh, yeah, this issue also features a cameo by Lois Lane: John calls her (at home, since she was just fired by the Daily Planet) to figure out what he can do with the CD full of incriminating evidence he got from Amertek's HQ. She hooks him with her college roommate, policewoman/hacker Shauna Beryl (the lady on the cover up there), who will become a recurring character in this comic.
The Ray #1 (May 1994)
In the first issue of his solo series, Ray "The Ray" Terrill takes a trip to Hawaii on the same day that a little troll creature prays to Darkseid next to a volcano, causing a giant lava monster called Brimstone to emerge (Darkseid created a previous incarnation of Brimstone during the Legends crossover). Superboy shows up to help fight Brimstone, but instead of working together, Ray spends most of the issue thinking about how much he hates this kid and calling him a cheap poser. Eventually, after Brimstone has been "defeated," Superboy has enough and punches Ray to finally get him to shut up.
By the way, this issue and the next one are supposed to take place between Superboy #3 and #4, meaning that Superboy was already seriously ill while fighting Brimstone, so I don't blame him for losing his patience with this hater. Ray then hits Superboy back with a big blast of energy and looks mighty smug for a moment... until he notices that Superboy isn't moving or breathing. Yes, that's two comics in one month that end with someone yelling that Superboy is apparently dead. Oh, and then Brimstone wakes up. TO BE CONTINUED, TOO!
Damage #1 (April 1994)
I missed this issue during the April '94 round-up (shout out to Neil in the comments for alerting me of its existence!), so here it goes. Our old pal Metallo is the main villain in the first issue of this series, which is about a wimpy kid called Grant Emerson who occasionally has bursts of explosive strength that allow him to total cars with his fists. Some mysterious villains broke Metallo out of Stryker's Island and gave him a new giant body just to send him to kill Grant at his school. The most interesting part for me is that this backstory is told in the same format as Metallo's backstory in John Byrne's Superman #1, with the green flashback panels at the end of every row.
Damage defeats Metallo, but also destroys his entire school in the process, and then other villains show up to capture himā¦ but that has nothing to do with Superman, so it's none of our business.
NOTE: Our post about Adventures of Superman #512 went up earlier this week, check it here out if you missed it!
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This month: Superboy fights Silver Sword (and the Clone Plague)! Steel fights his nephew! Brimstone fights alcoholism!
Superboy #5 (June 1994)
Introducing Silver "Don't Call Me Surfer" Sword. Superboy #4 ended with the Kid collapsing in his kitchen from the deadly virus that's running through the Superman books. In this issue, his friends take him to a Navy base so he can be transported to Project Cadmus in Metropolis, where they'll hopefully cure him. It's there that Dubbilex informs them there is no cure. Which sucks, but hey, at least the Kid gets his first consensual kiss out of it (courtesy of Tana Moon).
Rex Leech's tactful reaction is "There goes the best meal ticket we ever had, Roxy," but Roxy herself seems genuinely heartbroken about Superboy's likely death (and/or that kiss).
Anyway, the Navy can't send Superboy to Cadmus right away because they're bombing an island as part of some tests, but the tests are interrupted by a flying guy covered in silver metal. This is actually Dr. Kaua, the guy who got mad at Superboy for misplacing a magical spear in Superboy #3 because he wanted to use it to become Hawaii's first native superhero. Kaua later got his wish when he stumbled upon a mysterious receptacle that blew up on his face and bonded him with some sort of alien metal that gave him powers. He's now using those powers to get back at the Navy for bombing his beloved islands and the goats who live there.
Dubbilex thinks Superboy should sit this one out, given the whole "You're currently dying" thing, but of course he doesn't listen.
After a fierce fight, Superboy manages to knock Kaua out right before collapsing (again). Kaua, or Silver Sword as the Navy nicknames him, is locked up in a secret government base full of scientists who can't wait to cut him open, but Superboy's example inspires him to keep resisting them. The issue ends with Superboy and Dubbilex finally reaching Metropolis, only to find the city turned into a war zone, which leads right into Man of Steel #34.
Steel #5 (June 1994)
Steel's nephew Jemahl finds out that his gang members "friends" were the ones who shot a little kid, ran over his sister Natasha (she's okay, other than her leg), mugged his mom in an alley, and now plan to take out his grandma. Jem takes some of that Tar drug the gangsters have been using to become superhumanly jacked and intends to kill the leader of the gang, but he ends up fighting his disappointed uncle instead.
(Side note: This issue's cover should have been a remake of the Green Lantern/Green Arrow #85 one, but with a muscular Jemahl instead of Speedy the smackhead.)
Steel has to contain Mega-Jemahl until the drug wears off and the kid collapses. During the fight, John Henry learns that all the hits on his family aren't just an unfortunate coincidence: they were actually orchestrated by his old boss/mentor, the Colonel. As he holds Jemahl's body in a Pieta-like pose (lots of that going around these days), John swears that he's taking the Colonel down. Permanently.
This issue also features a seemingly non-sequitur appearance by Fred Bentson, that weird mailman guy we met in Man of Steel #34. Fred is dutifully driving his mail truck across war-torn Metropolis when a bomb goes off and causes him to hit head on the wheel. Suddenly, he finds himself in a completely different city called Dakota, where he's immediately hit by a truck and grabbed by some sort of shadow demon. Just as suddenly, Fred is back on Metropolis, getting saved from that explosion by Superman... who looks weirdly cheerful for someone who is currently watching the city he loves get blown to pieces (see Superman #90).
Incidentally, someone who looks just like Bentson also shows up in Milestone Comics' Hardware #16, which came out this same month and is set in a city called Dakota. What a curious coincidence.
The Ray #2 (June 1994)
Part 2 of the Superboy team-up, this time featuring some actual teaming up. Last issue, we left Superboy unconscious and Ray about to be smashed by that burning mountain man called Brimstone. Luckily, Brimstone suddenly decides to ditch the fight and go for a beer; apparently, a "defect" in his programming has turned him into a gigantic frat bro. Once he's alone, Ray feels bad about apparently killing Superboy and buries him under some rocks, but as we've established by now, nothing can keep that kid down.
At this point, DC's most prominent jacket-wearing, earring-sporting superheroes actually bond for a bit...
...before going off to prevent Brimstone from emptying every brewery in Hawaii. They come up with a plan to turn Brimstone off by dumping liquid nitrogen on him, but Superboy gets confused and accidentally douses the villain with a truck-load of orange juice, leading to the moment depicted in the cover in which Brimstone eats Ray. Superboy gets it right on his second attempt and Brimstone is neutralized before his fiery insides can digest Ray, but by now the teen heroes are back to arguing like a couple of, well, teens.
Gotta admit Superboy and Ray are a pretty fun pair in this issue. Can't wait for them to meet again in like 8 years, when Ray joins Young Justice!
Showcase '94 #6 (June 1994)
One of the stories in this issue is written by Karl Kesel and stars Sparx, the girl with lightning powers from Superboy's "Bloodlines" annual. Sparx's family disapproves of her decision to become a superhero, so she left them and went looking for an aunt who is also estranged from the clan. The most interesting parts of the issue are: 1) Sparx continuing to display powers that Superman will eventually gain when Kesel turns him electric (like intangibility), and 2) Captain Boomerang referring to the Flash as a "red wanker".
At one point, Boomerang manages to knock Sparx out, causing her to revert to her girl form. Upon noticing that she's "a young one," Boomerang creepily says: "Could be ol' Boomer'll get some pleasure out of the evenin' yet--!" The aunt then turns into a spider-like creature and almost kills Boomerang, but Sparx zaps her with energy to stop her. Sparx is like "Wait, you tried to kill that pervert who attacked me? This must mean you really are evil like the family says and also killed your husbands!", so they part ways. Sparx and her family will appear again in the future, but I don't think the aunt ever will. Good for her, they don't deserve her.
Superman's in space again... again! This time, because he's getting so big that pretty soon he won't even fit on Earth. Last issue, we left the increasingly grotesque Super-Superman strapped to a giant rocket that was taking him to a space station where Dr. Anthony "Big Words" Rodriguez of Project Cadmus is supposed to cure the condition that's turning him into The Hulk But With More Clothes. In this issue we find out that Superman has improbably gotten even bigger. The only thing of his that has shrunk seems to be his vocabulary.
Dr. Rodriguez' idea is to ask Superman to shoot his heat vision into a somewhatĀ āWeapon Xā-looking helmet that will safely channel his excess energy into space. Seven hours later, Superman's heat vision is still going, but he STILL looks like a caveman doing Superman cosplay. Eventually, the helmet gives out and Superman's ultra-potent heat vision destroys the entire space station. (Why, it's so potent, it even seems to be coming out of his mouth and chin!)
Superman has to figure out how to save Dr. Rodriguez from the vacuum of space despite the fact that 1) he can't see (he had to wrap some metal around his eyes like a bandana to stop the heat vision), 2) they canāt hear each other, and 3) Superman can't even touch the guy without crushing every bone in his body. Eventually, Big Words manages to grab onto Superman's cape and hop on top of him like a big space horsey. Then, Superman has to manage to fly back into Earth's atmosphere without turning Dr. Rodriguez into a flaming skeleton. I'd say that Superman was able to do this by extending his special "aura" so it protected Big Words too, but we all know the real explanation for this scene is "itās comics, shut up."
Once the two have safely landed on Metropolis' bay, there's the small matter of the big, burning space station tumbling down towards Metropolis. That's where Superman's ultra-potent eye lasers finally come in handy, since they allow him to pulverize the whole station with one blast. Hooray! The only problem is that he's still huge and clumsy, and this storyline didn't really progress beyond making him a little bit huge-er. CONTINUED!
Plotline-Watch:
We get a brief update on Lex Luthor Jr.'s health, and it just hit me (almost 30 years after first reading these issues) that his storyline is the complete opposite of Superman's: while Supes gets bigger and stronger, Lex is basically shrinking down and looks like heāll probably disappear into his Professor X hover chair any second now. I like that, despite the deadly clone virus ravaging his body and the fact that he's at war with a powerful government organization, none of that worries him as much as a pesky reporter snooping into his business...
Speaking of which, we find out that Lex has used his hacking abilities to plant ANOTHER wacky headline into the Daily Planet under Lois Lane's byline, although this one is a little more believable than the alien lovechild one: "LEX LUTHOR II IS REALLY ELVIS PRESLEY". On top of that, he also framed her for embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from the Planet. As a result, publisher Franklin "Frankenstern" Stern forces Perry White to fire Lois. This is a bit of a "You shouldn't have signed it" moment for Lois, as she realizes Lex MUST be behind her misfortunes and she has to "get him" before he gets her.
Regarding this storyline, Don Sparrow says: āJurgens is generally the most frequent user of the Daily Planetās articles as a story element, and the results are usually mixed (I remember Perryās editorial about generosity at Christmastime way back in Adventures #462 being a particularly unrealistically maudlin piece of journalismāthough nowhere near as awful as the āarticlesā in the Joe Kelly/Joe Casey eraāthe last page of Action #780 being perhaps the very worst it got) but the idea that a newspaper would go to print with obviously fake, wacky headlines twice really strains credulity, even in a comic book about a solar powered god in a cape. One time, mayyyyyybe, but after that, you can guarantee that the editors and publishers would be all over the printing process for the next issue. I quibble, I know, but it sticks out (as does the idea that Lois Lane would somehow suddenly have access or ability to embezzle hundreds of thousands of dollars). Also, if Lois really had embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars, it would be a matter for the police, not merely HR.ā I agree that having TWO wacky headlines slip in is completely unrealistic... but theyāre pretty funny, so Iāll give them a pass.
Perry seems to be taking Lois' firing even harder than her. He points out that he's known her since she was a girl, which is true, as we found out during the World of Metropolis miniseries. In fact, he's so distraught over having to fire someone who's "like a daughter" to him that he doesn't even seem to notice the space station blowing up right behind him! Then again, this is Metropolis; they probably see a giant explosion go off in the middle of the city about two or three times a day.
Patreon-Watch:
Fun fact: This post was started on a stolen computer! (As in, one that has since been stolen from me, not one I stole myself.) The main reason Iām getting off my butt and retyping/finishing it now is because we promised monthly posts to our awesome patrons, Aaron, Chris āAceā Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, and Bol, who read half of this at the end of May over at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99. If it wasnāt for our patrons weād probably still be at āReign of the Supermen,ā so shout out to them!
And now: more from the also awesome Don Sparrow, after the jump:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrowā):
Another caveman Superman cover, enhanced by some nice rim lighting. Ā Itās interesting that the generally wavy/curly Superman/Fabio hair has become limp and straight for the more Neanderthal Superman. Ā The brush spatter stars here are well done, but the space junk looks a little rushed to me. Ā Kudos for the off-centre UPC, which adds to the chaotic feel of this upside-down cover.
Inside we get another look at the dying clone body of Lex Luthor II, notably completely hairless, which is quite a switch for this lion of a man. This scene gives way to a two page spread of our hulking Superman, which is a transformation, even over the last issue.
Super-Cavemanās eyes are completely white for much of the story, adding to the inhuman feeling established by the oversized body, and pea-sized head. Ā I do have some logistical questions about how Supermanās belt and belt-buckle appear to be stretching proportionately with his body, butāitās comicsāso I shouldnāt probe too deeply. Ā The tiny fingernails are a nice touch, that help indicate this massive growth was sudden.
A little later into the story, Franklin Stern is well-drawn, though I miss the days when artists would hand-draw headlinesāthis computer text has some perspective issues. Ā The conflict on Perryās face as Stern demands Lois be terminated is well drawn (even if it would be glaringly obvious to an old journo like Perry that Lois is being framed, but more on that later).
The double page spread as Supermanās heat vision overwhelms the Newsboy Legionās collection gadget is appropriately explosive. Ā I particularly like the use of grease pencil on the outline of Supermanās heat vision. Though perhaps the dialogue on that page sends something of a mixed message.
Lastly, the bleak, blank expression on Perry as he fires Lois is well-done, though I perhaps might have expected a little more emotion on her face in reaction to the news. Ā
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
The super-team is dangerously close to risking the ire of the notoriously litigious Disney corporation on the credits page, where three overlapping planets create a distinctive silhouette. Ā
I feel like the Elvis Presley connection of the headline is something of a nod to the King-obsessed Perry White on the then-currently-airing Lois and Clark TV show. [Max: Iāve always felt like it was a callback to that issue they did with all the Elvis-like sightings for the recently ādeadā Lex Luthor Sr., Action #668, but it could be both things.]
I absolutely love the character consistency that when a space station suddenly explodes, and he is thrust into the vacuum of space instantaneously, Big Words still takes the time to say āAn irreparable breech in the hull? Ā I am at a loss for words.ā Classic. It must be both fun and challenging for the writer to come up with improbably tangled ways of saying simple things throughout the story.
FINALLY: The climax of the Super-Superman saga, which was getting about as bloated as Superman himself in this issue's cover. After coming back from the dead, Superman went from having no powers to having too much power: it started with him occasionally misjudging his strength or commenting that things are easier to lift than usual, and eventually led to every single issue having a moment where he accidentally destroys a bridge by winking too hard or something. In Action #698, Superman actually started growing taller and more muscular, leading to the monstrosity you see above.
Last issue, Superman was taken to a space station owned by Project Cadmus where they tried to "safely" siphon his extra energy into space, but that ended with the entire space station blowing up and crashing into Metropolis' bay. Turns out Superman returned to Metropolis just in time to hear Lois Lane's apartment blow up (more on that in the plotlines section below), but he can't comfort her because he's so ridiculously strong that he'd turn her into human jelly if he tried to hug her.
Just when Superman is about to say goodbye to Lois forever, his super-supersenses pick up a convenient disturbance nearby: some rowdy Underworld mutants have attacked the Cadmus transport that happens to be holding Rudy "Parasite" Jones, the power-sucking supervillain. The Underworlders sympathize with Rudy's predicament and free him, and he thanks them for their generosity by turning all of them into skeletons.
Parasite recently got a taste of Superman's enhanced powers in Man of Steel #33 and is itching for another fix, so he tracks Superman down -- and Superman lets himself be tracked. Even though Cadmus already tried to use Rudy's powers to cure Superman's condition, Superman is all out of ideas, so he decides to give him another shot. Last time, their fight had to end because Parasite started parasite-ing some Cadmus workers, so this time, Superman takes them somewhere a little more private: the moon.
After flying them both to the moon, Superman unloads his full heat vision on Parasite, and actually thinks he killed him for a moment... but then Rudy regrows himself as a Doomsday-sized monster with a freaky leech-like mouth. It seems that Rudy truly can't fail.
The good news is that Superman is his normal size again and can actually control his powers. The bad news is that Parasite is much more powerful than Superman now and has no intention to stop knocking him around and absorbing his powers. Uber-Parasite punches Superman through the moon's floor and they end up in... some sort of hidden armory? Turns out they've stumbled upon the moon lair owned by Scavenger, the villain from the latest issue of Superboy, who was probably in the toilet while all of this happened (he doesn't appear in this issue).
Superman is able to use one of the weapons in Scavenger's stash to keep Parasite at bay untii they bump into a teleporter that brings them back to Metropolis -- more specifically, to its sewers. But they're not there for long, because Rudy is still much stronger than Superman and uppercuts him into the sky. The issue ends with an unconscious Superman laying in the rubble as the people of Metropolis wonder if they're gonna have to start wearing black armbands again... TO BE CONTINUED!
Character-Watch:
Debuting the Parasite's bulkier body and leech-faced look, which is the second creepiest incarnation of the character (the creepiest is "Lois Lane," but let's not talk about that here). Everyone's pal Don Sparrow says: "This version of the character would go on to become the most consistent look for the character, though I prefer the original look." Same here, especially because I feel like once he started looking like a monster, they started writing him as such and forgot that he's supposed to be a blue-collar guy named Rudy who was once S.T.A.R. Labs' janitor. He never says stuff like "I feel like I should'a brung roses" anymore, sadly.
Plotline-Watch:
Oh, yeah, the Lois stuff. Last issue, Lex Luthor Jr. got Lois fired from the Daily Planet by hacking into her computer and publishing wacky stories about how he's a "space-alien clone" and somehow Elvis Presley at the same time -- all because Lois uncovered the equally wacky truth about him (you know, that he's Lex Luthor Sr. in a clone body and murdered his personal trainer but then aliens brought her back to life). In this issue, Lois is planning to get her job back by showing Perry her evidence on Luthor, but then her apartment blows up just as she's about to walk in. There goes the evidence!
I know what you're wondering, but don't worry: Lois' cat Elroy is fine, he bolted out of the apartment the moment she opened the door. In fact, he's the one who finds the monstrous Super-Superman hiding in that alley. Elroy's dislike of Clark has been well documented by this blog in this past, but he actually seems to feel sorry for the guy in these panels. That, or he's overwhelmed with joy because he just likes watching Clark suffer.
Incidentally, the scenes between Lois and Clark in the alley are very nice, and further evidence that the often-ignored post-"Reign" period was still capable of producing classic moments. I particularly like that Kesel and Kitson are allowing Lois to be vulnerable for a moment; her entire life just blew up, she can't be a badass 100% of the time.
Another standout scene is the tense moment when the increasingly sick and paranoid Lex "Jr." loads a single bullet into an antique gun (once owned by George S. Patton) and points it at his top lackey, Dr. Happersen, accusing him of being Lois' source. Happersen panics and blurts out that the rat must be Dr. Packard (Luthor's mole inside Cadmus, so this would make him a double rat), while repeating that he's always been loyal. Lex's quick shift from anger to "Hmm. Packard. Yes." is just classic Luthor.
The Underworlders who attack that Cadmus transport do it with the hi-tech weapons Luthor gave them recently, and they even call themselves "Lex-Men" in gratitude (though those giant guns make them look more like "Lex-Force").
The fire chief who tells Lois that her apartment blew up due to a "gas leak" and totally not because of a bomb planted by Luthor is of the opinion that they should just "tear it all down, build a real city of tomorrow." That's intentional foreshadowing for a storyline that's about to start and unintentional foreshadowing for one that will come much, much later. (Spoiler talk: maybe they should have rebuilt Metropolis as a "city of tomorrow" after "Fall of Metropolis," instead of magically restoring it to how it was at this point. They could have debuted the new look in the post-Zero Hour issues, fitting in nicely with the "soft reboot" theme and giving "Fall of Metropolis" more weight in the continuity.)
Patreon-Watch:
As always, a Super-Superman-sized shout out to our patrons Aaron, Chris āAceā Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, and Bol, who last month got to read a Patreon-only post about Man of Steel Annual #3 (an Elseworlds story and therefore out of the scope of this blog). More Elseworlds posts coming soon! Join them here: https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99
And now, click through for more commentary from the great Don Sparrow!
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We open with a cover thatās about as mid-nineties as it gets, with a grinning parasite riding a metal-head looking Superman in outer space.Ā The overlaid purple Kirby-dots are a nice touch.
Inside the cover, we are swiftly greeted with Elroy exiting the danger, which we learn a full page splash later is Lois Laneās apartment detonating from within.Ā Ā The minimalism of the explosive light is a good choice, though the bulk of Loisā winter coat makes her look a bit matronly. The effect of Supermanās heat vision crackling behind the space shrapnel is another good bit of colouring.
Ditto on the next page, where Lois and the fire chief are warmly lit from the flames of her apartment.Ā
A little later we briefly meet an Underworlder running a strong risk of a copyright infringement suit from Marvel, as apart from the colouring, he looks for all the world like one of Spider-Manās goblin-based villains.Ā Actually now that I look at it, the other Underworlder attacking the Cadmus vehicle reminds me of The Lizard, another Spider-Man baddie.Ā Any other villainous Easter eggs Iām missing? [Max: I see a store-brand Savage Dragon down there, too...]
As Lois and the hulking Superman say their teary goodbyes, thereās a great detail showing the moistness on Loisā eye.
The effect of Supermanās full force heat vision is well done, later introducing us for the first time to the lamprey-eel faced Parasite. Ā The fight that follows is perhaps a bit repetitive, particularly since it lasts a full five pages.Ā But the exposure to the Parasite does the trick, and weāre back to a normal sized Superman.Ā I know I keep harping on the inconsistency of the size of the overloaded Superman, but it would have been so easy to make his cape a little smaller in the scenes when he was gigantic (to say nothing of the belt and buckle I mentioned last time) so that when he goes back to his normal size, the cape would be the appropriate scale.Ā I get the tight uniform scaling, for the most part, but the cape is a bit of a head-scratcher.
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
While I share the Cadmus agentās sentiments about country music, āAchy Breakyā as a reference is a full two years after Billy Ray Cyrusā heyday.
The Lex Luthor is deteriorating storyline is to me the most interesting part of the issue.Ā Itās hard to tell if heās behaving more erratically because his clone body is dying (affecting his original brain?) or if itās heās getting desperate in his illness.Ā This seems sloppily unhinged for someone as methodical and controlled as Lex.
In art school a quick rule of thumb that we learned is that every line you add to a face ages that character by a year.Ā But this logic, Gretchen Kelley must be about a thousand based on her appearance on page 11.Ā I know the Jim Lee, hatchy style was hot at the time, but sheās looking like Dana Carveyās Church Lady in places here. [Max: I think it's interesting that Lex never even considers that Dr. Kelley could be Lois' source. She's been with him the longest, but she also calls him out on his BS and apparently tried to defend Lois before this scene started. Is Lex underestimating her, or are his own deeply buried feelings for her clouding his judgment? Isn't that special?]
Lex as a Patton enthusiast?Ā Interesting idea, and perhaps a callback to Lexās lair of the silver age, where real life conquerors like Genghis Khan, Nero and Julius Caesar lined his hall of heroes.Ā I wouldnāt quite put Patton in their ranks, though. [Max: Maybe he should have threatened poor Sydney with Gengis Khan's spear or something like that.]
I rarely refer to the letter columns, but the letters in this issue (addressing that weird Challengers of the Unknown fill-in issue, Adventures #508) features a letter from Jeph Loeb, author of the Challengers of the Unknown maxi-series that #508 referred to.Ā Loeb will of course become a super-team member himself in about sixty-two issues from now, the lone good writer in a truly terrible era of Superman comics.Ā In any event, Loeb was touched that his (unfairly largely forgotten) Challengers series lived on in that issue.
