#clone humor

"Here we go again," commented Comet as he entered the Wolf Pack's barracks on Christophsis. The latest orders came through for all personnel, Clones, Civvi, and Jedi. Along with it came the regular confusion regarding the civvi medics. It was again revolving around their favorite, Iseult Devitt.

"What's up?" called Warthog from across the room. He was lounging across his bunk, his arms resting behind his head. Sinker and Boost attempted to paint something on the durasteel walls, although it was anyone's guess what it was meant to be. Perhaps it was a loth wolf or maybe a crystal fox.

"According to the latest orders, we get Iseult back," began Comet, interrupted by Boost celebrating the news that the sarcastic medic would be among their ranks again. Wolffe would be happy, at least when he wasn't protesting and attempting to argue with her. "But she's also supposed to stay with the 501st too."

"Wasn't she supposed to be on Commando tour for her last rotation?" asked Sinker, dropping the paintbrush and spray paint he'd previously held. "Maybe Wolffe knows. He seems to like stalking her as of late," he added, quickly fleeing behind a durasteel crate upon noticing Wolffe already in the room. He was quietly completing the overdue paperwork at the nearby desk.

"Wolffe doesn't know," replied the Commander, without lifting his head or taking the attention away from the reports and other paperwork he'd neglected for months. "She's as much a mystery to me as she is to everyone else."

"Didn't get far with the stalking, huh?" called Warthog, ignoring the glare Wolffe all but threw at him. "I dare say she's got under the skin of others too. How can she not with that devious charm," added the pilot, chuckling at the thought of others having to deal with the quick wit, sarcasm, and overall loud personality. Iseult was a flirt, a playful one, but a flirt nonetheless.

"Imma comm Jesse, see if he knows what's going on," Comet said, reaching for the communication device he had previously abandoned at the end of his bunk. Hope shimmered in his eyes. The boys of the 501st would know something or at least be able to help solve the seemingly endless mystery.

"Maybe Iseult's a clone like us?" Boost yelled excitedly, hoping he had found an answer to their bugging mystery. After all, they'd all witnessed the sarcastic medic seemingly teleporting, and the Jedi had, too, although they didn't seem overly bothered by it or, if they were, didn't show it.

"That brings up more questions than answers," spoke Wolffe as if to shut the absurd theory down before it took on a life of its own. "Who is she a clone of? Who cloned her? How many are there?" listed the commander, forcing the wolf pack to think over the logic before getting behind the Iseult clone idea.

"Kaminoans, they made all of us after all," replied Warthog as if it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. "Wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility. They've done work for others, too."

"If that were the case, we would have seen Iseult clones wondering Tipoca City as we did as cadets," grumbled Comet, anguished to be the one to shut down the clone theory. "How many Iseults are there anyway?" he asked; he knew there were at least two after the Rex date incident. One had stood either side of him, at least before Rex appeared from his detour, then one disappeared as if she'd not been there in the first place.

"I swear there is more than six," said Sinker confidently. "What, there is. We have our Iseult, the deviously flirt one here with us; the 501st have the angel; the Guard kept being tormented by the one they call the minx; Clone Force 99 have a sarcastic one of their own; the 212th has the nerdy one, and the naughty version has pestered Howzer," he listed as if to add evidence to Boost's earlier claim of clones.

"Don't forget the playful one that keeps winding Gregor up," added Wolffe, chuckling to himself upon remembering Fox's rant about the Iseult minx, how he swore the seemingly ordinary medic just come and went as she pleased. "327th, 41st, and 13th haven't been affected yet," continued the commander, curious if there was truth behind the claim of clones or if it was all an elaborate and well-thought-out prank of some kind.

"Hey, how come they get away scot-free?" questioned Boost, almost offended by the idea the three battalions, in particular, had seemingly escaped the chaos. "Scratch that they don't know what they're missing," he added, quickly changing his tune. The Iseult clones had brought endless mystery, curiosity, and distraction when they needed it most.

"Maybe she's some form of artificial intelligence," mumbled Warthog, hiding beneath his pillow the moment the idea he quickly determined as dumb passed his lips.

"Iseult … a droid?" began Comet, a grin painting on his lips to hear Wolffe bellow out with laughter. The idea was horrendous, but at least it brought their tormented Commander some amusement. "Honestly, that would explain why she crashed into the wall and seemed perplexed by rayshields."

"Doesn't explain why Howzer wasn't knocked senseless when she clobbered him, though," replied Wolffe, recalling witnessing the act. Howzer was drunk and slurring his words, believing he was complimenting Iseult; instead, he'd offended her. She'd quickly told him so by whacking him upside the head before walking away. "First and last time he insulted her."

"And we're only just hearing about it now?" replied Boost, sitting on the crates to the side of the masterpiece he and Sinker had been working on.

"Jesse said their angel has a different name," called Comet, puzzlement painting on his features. "Said there one is called (Y/N)," he added before determining the boys in blue were simply ribbing them again. No doubt, it was revenge for the howling prank some months before.

"Two medics with different names but the same identification number?" started Warthog, looking over to Wolffe as if to confirm that he, too, was baffled by the mistake. "Either there was a massive mistake, there are clones under the same number but different names, or we're missing something," he added, noting when Wolffe didn't seem all that bothered. He was amused, yes, but not bothered as much as one would have thought.

"I'm contacting Iseult," spoke Boost, reaching for his communications device with the hope the medic in question could solve their perplexing mystery. Maybe answer their questions about how she could be in so many places simultaneously.

"She's with the frat boys," growled Wolffe, as if remembering the other troopers who seemed just as attached to Iseult. Three of them never failed to flirt with her when the chance arose. The other always seemed to be in a playful banter war with her. "Set to return to Coruscant just after us unless they rerouted to Kamino or given another assignment," he added with a low grumble.

"At least we know she can be in two places at once," worded Warthog, "Comet said she was with the 501st, and we know from her she was assigned to the havoc lot," he added, managing to stifle his laughter at the thought of their Iseult causing just as much if not more chaos than the combined experimental unit.

"Iseult, my favorite sarcastic medic," began Boost when the attempt at making a holo call connected. Iseult's video feed appeared along with the boys of Clone Force 99, or at least two of them. Tech and Hunter. One twirled a vibroblade, and the other fiddled with a circuit board.

"Boost my favorite lunatic," replied Iseult, a smile on her lips. "Don't tell me one of you boys lost a limb. While I've been away," she added so casually that it was like complimenting someone.

"We were hoping you could help us with your mystery," called Warthog, moving to sit on the bunk below his own. At the same time, both Hunter and Tech appeared to pay a little more attention, as if the Iseult mystery had been a topic that haunted them, too.

"Iseult mystery?" enquired Tech, intrigued by the news of such mystery surrounding their medic.

"They think Iseult is a clone," grumbled Wolffe, his voice more brutal than intended. Despite that, Iseult's laughter came through loud and clear.

"Not heard that one before," admitted the civvi medic, a bright smile upon her lips. "A new favorite me thinks," she added.

"Did float the idea of you being a droid too, but none of our theories make sense," voiced Comet, witnessing as Warthog once again hid beneath the nearest pillow, still embarrassed by the idea. Even if Wolffe once again chuckled at the amusement.

"They're trying to work out how I can be in two places at once," spoke Iseult, cluing the pair of enhanced clones into the mystery and rather imaginative ideas they'd come to answer it. "And your answer is super simple, boys. I use magic."

"Iseult two said the same thing," Comet answered upon hearing the answer. "Jesse said Angel Iseult and Rex were up to something, too," he added as if trying to gauge if there was indeed more to the mystery than met the eye.

"There has been no documented case of civilians using magic to …" began Tech before Iseult wrapped a hand over his mouth, a sweet smile as she did so. At first, Tech seemed startled but didn't appear to protest further, instead glancing over to Hunter as if silently calling for aid.

"Angel Iseult and Rex are working on the final touches of a plan of mass pandemonium," sweetly replied Iseult. However, a mischief glint lit up her eyes, suggesting there was far more than met the eye, and the answer to their seemingly complex mystery was simple and something all thrust far missed.

"Remind me to remind Wolffe to interrogate her when we all get back to Coruscant," said Sinker when the call ended. This time, Wolffe looked around in confusion, not entirely understanding why he needed to interrogate their favorite medic.

"Forget that," started Warthog, suspecting Wolffe knew something they didn't. Perhaps he had other ideas he'd yet to share. After all, when the commander lost his eye, Iseult was the one to patch him back up again. "What do you know about Iseult?" asked the pilot, side-eyeing his commander as if to gauge the reaction he got. "And what she's up to?"

"What she's up to, not a clue," replied Wolffe, admitting his innocence when it come to the pandemonium planned, although he could make an educated guess on where it would take place. Either at the military base or 79, depending on her mood. "As for what I know about her, what's in her file, and a couple of her favorite things," he added as if attempting to hide the relationship that had bloomed between the two of them. She'd succeeded in getting him to ignore rules that prevented him from being like any other being in the galaxy, and she'd helped him find who he was outside of being a soldier.

"We're gonna be invited to the wedding, right?" asked Sinker, ignoring the heated glare expertly thrown his way, at least before the deer caught in headlights look painted on Wolffe's features. "Yeah, you're even less subtle than Iseult," he added with a wide grin.

"Cute though, our medic of magic tamed our commander," added Boost, as if he were a hopeless romantic waiting for his chance at love.

"You watch too many romance films and series on the holonet," replied Wolffe, returning his attention to the reports demanding to be done, at least before they become more of a burden and punishment than they already were.

"We miss her too," started Comet, knowing all the theories and playful banter that revolved around Iseult was their way of filling the gap she left behind when she was not with them. "Tell her that when you see her next," he added, receiving a small, subtle nod from Wolffe in confirmation of the task placed before him.

"Better yet, give her a kiss from us," called Warhog, darting from the bunk he'd been perched on, launching toward the refresher door in the hopes of getting there before Wolffe caught and strangled him.