#cliffnation

so, cliff is bisexual as we all well know and oblivious to this fact for a long long long time as we all well know. however☝️once he realizes, he meets this really chill guy who he really likes and hes dating him for a year or so sort of publicly in the way that he just posts about it casually in a “date night with my boy❤️” kinda vibe like he would with a woman hes dating. its more or less called an open secret because cliff never comes out, he just treats it like any other relationship because for him, thats basically what it is.

cliff is subject pretty quickly to homophobic chirps on the ice from the usual suspects, toronto, vegas, florida, guys who do the same to hunter and barrett and ilya and shane are now hitting cliff with the stupid shit but cliff has never once dropped gloves over it because it genuinely doesnt bother him. these guys dont know his boyfriend, have never met him or cliff himself off the ice, they know nothing about his life and he couldnt care less what they have to say because he doesnt even respect them as a person, much less a player. so they give him the same shit and all cliff does is slam them into the boards and goad them into starting fights for power plays, it kind of drives them insane that hes so unshakable.

a year and a half into dating cliffs partner sits him down and tells him that shes trans, and would like to socially and physically transition. shes obviously a bit emotional and nervous to say all this to her boyfriend who plays hockey for a living, explaining that shes happy with him and that she loves him but she cant keep living like this and that she needs to do something about it or her mental health is going to get so much worse, and shes finally getting to the “i understand if you dont want to be with me anymore this isnt what you signed up for” bit of her speech when she finally looks over at cliff and he’s straight cheesing at her so big she has to stop and ask why hes smiling. and listen, cliff is a great boyfriend and he loves his partner, but he is at the end of the day still a himbo. she asks why hes smiling and he is completely honest when he says “so you’re gonna get like, boobs?”

its completely stupid and a bit insensitive but shes been dating him for a year and a half and this isnt new behavior, shes honestly relieved that his biggest question right now is if she wants a boob job and not how fast can she move out. cliff is a boob guy, hes excited as fuck at the prospect of future boobs AND hes now Winning At Being Bisexual because he had a boyfriend and NOW he has a girlfriend and he didnt even have to meet someone new or lose the person he loves its the same person hes loved this entire time!!!

so, he treats this whole thing a bit more delicately publicly because he knows How The League Is and would rather kill himself than expose his girlfriend to transphobic shit when she’s finally coming out of her shell so much and shes looking so much happier every day cliff kind of wonders how he missed how sad she always seemed before. players assume they can do the same shit as always, but now they think they can be transphobic too and get the regular general non reaction.

anyways so what im trying to say is that the first time hes playing one of Those Teams one of the prolifically homophobic players says something transphobic about his girlfriend and cliffs eyes constrict to pinpoints and once he gets a hand on the other guy its over, he doesnt stop until theres 2 guys on each arm pulling him away and hes still trying to swing, he wants him dead but one of his teammates says he was out cold when they took him off the ice which is close enough for cliff to be satisfied. the other guy ends up on a ventilator on the way to the hospital, cliff is suspended from multiple games and fined to the max from the league and arrested for assault but ultimately takes a plea deal for community service and like a 50,000 dollar fine and has to pay the other guys hospital bills.

off the record ilya pays for it all because he loves cliffs girlfriend, he thinks shes one of the coolest people hes ever met and entirely too cool to be dating cliff which he has thought since he met her and it has only solidified since she came out and he has seen how she is dressing. that and he hates that player and that fight is one of his favorite videos on the internet, genuinely he watches it when he’s upset.

cliffs girlfriend thinks hes an idiot for letting what the other guy said get to him but appreciates that hes willing to drop gloves over her while she gets used to being out publicly and navigates medically transitioning. cliff, of course, insists on paying for it all so she never has to worry about the money and can just focus on being happy.

Book Cliff: 😝 SEX

Vampire Cliff: my lord what is it you request of me, your most humble and loyal servant, sworn to you ages upon countless ages ago?

Show Cliff: I watch celebrity gossip for fun

Bi Cliff: I like men and women 💜💙

Dye Cliff: I have a fibercraft hobby it's really rewarding

Evil Cliff: I'm evil

Old Cliff: I'm old! Ghaa ha ha!

Depressed Cliff: aughhh

fyofh Cliff: i dont know how to be a person

ilya convinces shane to reenact and record some of the videos without his face to send back to cliff. it takes a bit of prodding at shanes exhibitionism and some jealousy of cliff when he finds out about their old threesome, maybe some feminisation like "he wont know you’re even a man, we will only record how well your ass takes me, he will think you are a pretty girl with a perfect ass", either way ilya convinces shane.

and they START with being indistinguishable if it’s a man or a woman but VERY slowly with shanes permission ilya starts showing more of shanes body, it goes from “indistinguishable from a man or a woman” to “that is a man if i think about it for a minute” but not identifiable as shane. they do this slow. incredibly slowly. beanie said it best, boiling a frog slow.

there are two purposes for this. One, ilya likes showing shane off, the close ups of their sex are fine and they’re hot but in ilyas option they dont do shane the justice he deserves. even his waist is obscene, to cut his body out of videos is like sacrilege. shane, the longer this goes on and the more comfortable he gets and the more ilya turns this into a sex thing, is not as scared of cliff knowing ilya is fucking a man as long as it cant be traced back to him. Two, ilya is making cliff microdose his bisexuality hes still in denial about by slowly exposing more and more of shanes body so its clear its a man. hes confident one of these days cliff will realize hes been jacking it to two dudes fucking and will finally make the connection ilya made the first day he met cliff.

this has some unique chirping material to it to explore between shane and ilya. shane getting slammed into the boards by cliff mid game and the next time hes within hearing range and alone ilya is spitting out some shit about how he wonders how cliff would play if he knew it was shane in those videos taking him so well. now they’re both half hard in their gear thinking about it. shane shoving ilya at the boards to get between him and the puck, commenting that he thinks cliff has enough material to fuck him better than ilya does at this point. shane is half hard in his gear, ilya is plotting to record again that night to prove he’ll always fuck shane better than cliff could.

and post outing? oh my god, post outing but pre cliff realizing/being told its shane in those videos shane is really really weird around cliff because shane is thinking “he knows now hes literally seen our sex tapes he knows what i look like getting fucked he has seen ilya fucking me” and cliff is thinking “my best friends boyfriend fucking hates me :(((“

once cliff realizes/is told he starts getting weird with ILYA while shane is STILL being weird with cliff and ilya sits through like 3 weeks of hell before he has to step in and break down the most problem avoidant people in his life to get them to admit this is about the sex tapes so they can solve the issue and once he knows what its about hes like “you fucking idiots are stressed about the SAME THING stop being weird we all jack off to them”

the whole time things are weird cliff has those videos in a locked folder and hes trying to decide if he should delete them or not. on one hand, hes sure it was never supposed to come out like this if it was meant to come out at all, on the other hand its like 20 to 30 videos and a solid 15 of them are hot as FUCK and were pretty regular videos he’d jack off to so if he deletes them he’ll be a little sad about it. he didnt watched them since he found out but once ilya talks to him and shane all bets are off and hes jackin it to them again💪💪

this can be hollanoveau or just exhibition or whatever your heart desires but the important part is that it is yours now, go my worms

HELLO CLIFFNATION, I HAVE WRITTEN SOMETHING THAT MADE IT OUT OF THE DRAFTS.