#cletusxred

Eddie: ...I haven't heard of that. I think if you're not compatible, you just get eaten. Why?

Cletus: Oh, uh... Carnage. Everytime we rebond my palms get all sweaty, and I feel really warm and my heartbeat and breathing get uneven. I think I must be allergic.

[*Sees gory mess on the kitchen table, Carnage's attempts at making valentines out of lace, glitter, and the internal organs of their pursuers that they and Shriek killed earlier. A mess stealthily made with very lengthy tentacles while he and Frances watched tv in the other room*]

Cletus:...You trying to get yourself a lady friend?

Carnage: ...Something like that.

Cletus: I mean, that's fine, its just.... do you need to use my body to do it? At least let me and my wife know so there's no nasty surprises. We don't want to keep things from her--

Carnage: I-it's not like that. [*sighs*] There's this lifeform that... for some unfathomable reason I adore with all of my being. I've been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for a year now. No response.

Cletus: Wow, they sound stupid.

Carnage: But they're not. They're really smart actually, just dense.

Cletus: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don't know... "Hey! I love you!"

Carnage: I guess you're right. Hey Cletus, I love you.

Cletus: See! Just like that!

Carnage: Holy fucking shit.

Cletus: If that flies over their head then sorry buddy but they're just too dumb for you.

Liveblogging reading Carnage comics

From Webspinners Tales of Spider-man #13-14 Carnage Classic trade paperback

Spoilers/Context: Venom ate the Carnage symbiote but unlike in the movies not Cletus because in 616 Venom doesn't usually eat people. Like he will sometimes but it's not like a typical thing. Honestly in the comics Eddie is the more murder-happy of the two of them...

Cletus finds an identical Carnage symbiote sealed away in an Eldritch tomb in the Negative Zone that he heard calling to him from across universes.

This feels like it should have been a bigger deal then it was, as it's just tucked away as a B-plot in a side story.

Like, how did that get there?

Could it somehow be connected to Cletus messing with the Darkhold in the later Carnage 2016 storyline or the Carnage symbiote's current attempts to obtain godhood?

The Eldritch horror-terror implications of a possibly time traveling weakened eldritch God Carnage symbiote being sealed away and still being able to call Cletus from a universe away are, again, just tucked away in this side story...

Also in this story Mary Jane seems to have died in a plane crash? Like wtf? Except she didn't?

Okay, a quick google search explains MJ isn't really dead because she wasn't on the plane but she was being stalked and kidnapped and Peter evidently didn't notice anything amiss.

So... quick recap.

Cletus hears his alien spouse calling to him from across universes.

Peter fails to notice anything going on with his wife.

Wow. That's... not a good look buddy.

It's practically the same formula of "break up make up" as Eddie and Venom in Let There Be Carnage. What did he do, Red? Did you just get bored waiting around Ravencroft?

(...Homophobic, alien-phobic Spider-man always trying to break up happy relationships 💔)

Bonus...

Its established that movie!Cletus Kasady is a big fan of Gothic lit and has quotes from Dracula and Frankenstein all over his cell wall.

The movie also has him eating bugs (probably to establish that he will put absolutely anything in his mouth, up to and including Eddie's baby blood parasite).

Cursed idea: Movie!Cletus kins Renfield.

There's even more Dracula parallels if you include the deleted scenes:

The Carnage symbiote as Dracula with the whole let's take over the world and create a new race of human-symbiotes hybrids. Cletus seems at first disgusted but then onboard with the idea, wanting to please him.