#classic transformers

Time for some CLASSIC TRANSFORMERS COMICS, feat. Ratchet 

This is the issue the following panels are from: 

ALRIGHT so the setup seems to be that Ratchet accidentally winds up crashing a camping trip/party in the woods 

right away we have Ratchet learning about wood as a fuel, which evidently fascinated him, and a mention of PARTY AMBULANCE, possibly the first in text Party Ambulance reference????, which bodes extremely well 

he shows the teenagers his alt mode and they recover from their initial shock pretty quickly and decide it’s really fucking cool that this giant space robot man can turn into cars and shit, so they invite him to hang out and Ratchet immediately hones in on the weenies roasting over the fire and decides to teach them a totally unhelpful Cybertronian method for weenie roasting which is just so good honestly (one of the teenagers is like “yeah we don’t have built in blow torches but cool” lmao)

then shit quickly goes south when one of the teenagers, one of the Witwicky kids, starts freaking out and has to be taken to the hospital 

after which Ratchet has a brief despair moment as he finds all the other Autobots in stasis, strung up by their legs upside down in some kind of cargo bay type area ????? and Optimus’ decapitated head tells him that he has to train up and keep the fight going after Ratchet dramatically states he is a medic and not a warrior and it’s very cheesy but also I am emotionally engaged 100% 

it’s very angsty, love me some Ratchet character moments tbh 

then it ends with Megatron finding him and interrogating him and instead of being scary it’s kinda homoerotic in a weird way idk I’m into it though 

so this is the infamous nightmare body horror issue: 

first off, absolutely nightmarish cover, I think this is the UK version. here we go 

first fucking page! wow, that’s horrific. Optimus agrees, as the Ratchet half of this being starts to approach him 

Optimus blames himself, but we then get an explanation for what happened when Kup freaks out and opens fire:  

Kup goes on to explain that things haven’t been going well for the Autobots, and that morale is extremely low-- as is faith in Optimus’ leadership. Basically, if he fucks up handling this situation, there might be a mutiny. 

After the being starts causing damage around the ship that puts the crew’s safety at risk, Kup suggests a drastic plan of action:

it’s an asshole plan to jump to immediately???? but at least Kup is aware of that and feels bad I guess, not that I’m making excuses for him lmao like at least take the being to a fucking doctor first???? whatever though! 

also what a shitty ableist attitude from Kup, he sucks in this issue tbh  

either way, Optimus is high strung and goes to check in on the situation: 

it doesn’t go well, the Megatron half of the being is flailing around violently and throwing shit, while the Ratchet half is begging everyone to stay away (”duck!”) 

this is some peak body horror shit 

hearing the despair in Ratchet’s voice, Optimus makes the call: 

While Ratchet begs to be shot (holy shit), some far less interesting plot happens and Optimus is distracted just before he goes to pull the trigger 

they manage to get to a medical facility, where it is revealed that Ratchet can only be recovered if Megatron is also fully restored 

Kup and the others give Optimus shit for it, but he elects to have Megatron treated as well so that Ratchet can be saved once they’re split, or however this is supposed to work 

and that’s the last page! 

this was a DEEPLY TRAUMATIC ISSUE 

not gonna lie I'd love to see them cover this story or something similar in animation at some point, but it legit might be way too much for the intended age range nowadays lmao, and we all know how that one Tuvix (ST Voyager) episode ended with basically the same plot so who knows 

Possibly the best #Transformers game ever made. @Activision @Hasbro #Itsreallygood #moreplease #ClassicisBest

First up is our disclaimer. We received this game for review purposes only, and as such all opinions in this review are our own. No money has been exchanged for this review. At long last Activision and Hasbro finally get it right. No cheaply tossed together movie-based Transformers game with abysmal combat and dollar-store style graphics. Introducing Transformers Devastation. This a real…

Now Grimlock prettiest princess in all the land!