FM

Yet again making me wonder if I am in fact autistic

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.

What a way to learn you have a Vampire in the family.

fun fact: the reason that the plural of goose is geese but the plural of moose is not meese is because goose derives from an ancient germanic word undergoing strong declension, in the pattern of foot/feet and tooth/teeth, wherein oo is mutated to ee. however ‘moose’ is a native american word added to the english lexicon only ~400 years ago, and lacks the etymological reason to be pluralized in that way.

Oh baby.  Keep talking dirty to me.

Gnomes don’t have internet because if they did they’d send death threats to everyone they know and strangers as well

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

get creatured idiot

So the Monterey Bay Aquarium has lump fish in their deep sea exhibit, right? And they’re lovely little fellas. So, I feel it’s very important to mention that of all the fish at said wonderful aquarium, the lump fish there were some of the most soulful creatures I’ve ever met.  They’d follow you in ways the other fish won’t, deeply cognizant of your presence, and seemingly happier for it. They are lovely creatures, and dear, dear friends.

The lumps stack!!

people on tumblr can never say “i have anxiety” it’s always gotta be some shit like “obbghhhg the scaryfulness persists”

Their scientific name sounds like "Migrating Turd" but otherwise I find them charming if fairly derpy and mundane. I don't know if I'd get a tattoo of one though. They're like the potato of American birds.

I have no actual animosity towards them. They’re fine. I like them. They remind me if my college roommate and beloved friend. I don’t know why I said any of that—I was grasping at straws for something kind of provocative to say and failed so catastrophically that I was catapulted into a Seinfeld skit.

eerily similar to the time in college someone tried to make conversation by making fun of a silly book a former high school teacher of theirs had written only for me to just pull out a physical copy of the exact book because i’d realized he was talking about my dad

the foot seeks the mouth like leaves seek the sun