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Sometimes you don't even need to know a person's gender or be able to see it on their blog to know you're being mansplained to. Listen, I didn't spend the first 21 years of my life as a woman to not be able to realize when I'm being mansplained to. Shut up!
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What you say: So you're not gonna go on T and become a boy?
What I hear: You're not on T yet, so you're still a girl
I like that more surveys have started including trans as a gender option, but i feel like its weird that its always a third, mutually exclusive option to “man” and “woman” or whatever. Like... i feel like ppl shouldn’t have to decide between “woman” and “trans” if they are a trans woman? Â
when you make the options mutually exclusive, you say people can never be both. you immediately tell every trans woman that you dont think shes a woman. you tell every trans man that you dont think hes a man.Â
There are a lot of better systems for this that i can think of off the top of my head. but the point here isnt that i (a cis person) have a better solution. the point is that you should consider what the questions you ask on a form say to the person reading them.Â
Not only is it hurtful, but it fucks up the data you get.
And to be clear, it does that in two ways: it prevents you from getting correct numbers on who you are surveying by limiting their answer choices, which is a really basic thing that you learn in any HCI class or human-data-gathering class. Â
AND, especially because its so often at the top of the form, it can change the way people fill out the rest. Or even if they do at all. Youve been immediately hostile to the person you are trying to get information from.Â
This is one of those strips where I had an idea for a visual and had to work backwards to come up with a good set up for the overall idea. It was originally inspired by a thread on Facebook I was in where a very butthurt cisgender guy just had to chime in to cissplain that not ALL cis people were transphobic. A fact I obviously know, but one that nevertheless prompted me to make a meme of the Kool-Aid man bursting through a wall yelling “Not All Cis People!”
Can someone help me figure out how to deal with my sisters "gender reveal" for her baby? Both now, as a future aunt, and in the future? As an actual aunt? What can i do to enact as little... violence... as possible?
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Controversial opinion but I don’t think cis people should be allowed to be transmeds(regardless of whether or not transmeds are ok/right to start with). They have next to no experience in being trans plus acting like they know what’s good for trans people doesn’t help their case. All the IRL cis transmeds I’ve met have tried to tell me that I’m probably not trans (despite suffering from fairly severe dysphoria) and pushed me to not get the help I needed.
Something something being cis doesn’t mean they can’t have an opinion, but the conviction with which they hold it is undeserved, and far too many cis people are presenting themselves as authorities on who is and who is not trans, with blogs dedicated to transmedicalism.
That’s not acceptable, even if their actions were not harmful (which they are, even to dysphoric, trans people).
Anything or anyone that refuses to respect someone as the supreme authority on their own gender (their own self) is transphobic. Transmeds dictate the genders of others (and sometimes even their experiences, e.g. dysphoria) based on an external perception and external understanding on them, despite how inherently flawed and fallible that is.
And you’re right—with cis transmeds it’s worse because what they’re judging is something they have no personal experience of, no frame of reference for.
Tbh as a vagina-having chick i hate the TERF thing of talking about your genitals bc they are transphobic for super selfish reasons.
which is that i love talking about my genitals because im VULGAR and OBNOXIOUS but i dont want anyone to think im A PLAGUE ON SOCIETY and OBJECTIVELY TERRIBLE so i have to like. Talk about my genitals less.
I love my genitals my vagina is great but like damn all the other folks out there talking bout their vagina are acting like its their entry ticket to womanhood like
bitch
My vagina doesnt make me a woman it makes me horny and sometimes gives me a yeast infection, fuck off
My biggest moment of growth was realizing that there are some things i get no say in and that sometimes my opinion is literally irrelevant so i need to just. Listen. What im saying is: If there is a post you wanna comment on and you feel like if you are going to comment it needs to be either prefaced or tagged with "im white" or "im cis" or "im straight" or "im a man" or "im not _____ But..." Consider not saying it.
