#ciacm

She knows Joel from “cleaning” duty. Trucks upon trucks of the dead infected, piles of bodies of all sizes and ages. And then workers with a cloth over their mouths in a weak attempt to block out the smell of fire and burning meat. 

Corpse Disposal was not a job Y/N liked to do but rather a job she had to. There was a brief period when she was running too low on ration cards and so she did what she had to do and took the job. It was disgusting work, most of the bodies being young children or old people. 

But he was there, across the fire pit, silently conversing with an old lady. There was one more body left in the truck, a young boy which the old woman seemed to struggle with. So Joel took it. And Y/N remembers watching him, from across the street, pick up the body and throw it in. and she remembers his eyes, the absolute lack of pity, guilt, or remorse.

But now he was standing in front of her, and Ellie, with the same stone-like expression, and with an answer to Marlene’s ideas, “The hell we are!” 

And at the same time, Ellie seemed to hold a strong protest too, “I’m not goin’ with them!” 

Kim, from Marlene’s side, turned to look at her, “Let me take her.” Marlene paid no mind to Kim, more focused on Joel and the woman next to him.

“Tess,” He grimaced, “We don’t have time for this.” He was alert, eyes flicking slightly from the windows to the doors.

Marlene laughed bitterly, “Oh, you don’t have time?” 

“Who is she?”

“To you… she’s cargo.” 

“We don’t smuggle people. Sorry.” 

And suddenly, interrupting the conversation between Marlene, Joel and Tess, Kim spoke up, repeating once again, “I can do it.” 

Sharply, Marlene turned on her, “Kim, you don’t have an ear on your fucking head! Could you please?!” She paused, looking down at herself now to examine the blood slowing now, congealing around her shirt and skin, “There’s a team of fireflies waiting for her at the old State House.” That alone earned a scoff from Joel, “I know what’s out there. We were going with an entire squadron for that very reason.,,”

“But now I don’t have a truck, I don’t have a squadron. F.E.D.R.A’s five minutes away, and what I do have is you. And I know what you’re both capable of.”

Y/N, slightly alarmed by the sudden proposition and still on the floor with Ellie, looked up at Marlene, “What are they capable of?” 

Marlene ignored her, and continued on with her proposition. She spoke promises of fuelled trucks, guns, food and medicine. And then finally she said, “I swear……I swear.”

They all watched as Joel turned to Tess and spoke in hushed voices, mulling the decision over. From the look on their faces, it was hard. Yes, they could risk their lives for a girl they didn’t even know, and some supplies or they could… or they could what? Rot away under an abusive government in a failing QZ. Okay, point taken. 

Finally, with a harsh reminder from Marlene that she was bleeding out, they came to a decision. “Okay,” Joel turned, “Here’s the deal. We’ll get her to your crew at the State House. But before we hand her over, they give us everything we want. If not, we kill her, there and then.” The man might’ve pointed a gun at Y/N, but she had to admire his ability to make the most out of a deal. 

“Deal.” Marlene didn’t hesitate, much to Ellie’s dismay which earned a “Really? That fast?” 

Marlene had to assure her that she was all the matters, that her life would not be jeopardised, and then to go and get her backpack. The girl complied, allowing Y/N to stand up as she ran to where she’d left it in the hall. That finally brought Joel’s attention to Y/N. 

“She wasn’t part of the deal.” He says, not even looking at her.

“She,” Marlene said, “Can handle herself. And she goes with you under demand of the girl. If she dies, it’s on us, on me. But if Ellie dies, it’s on you, Joel. So please, Joel…don’t fuck this up.”

-

Joel and Tess take them in the direction of their apartment when Y/N stops them and asks to pick up some supplies from hers. \she tells them she has knives stashed under her floorboard and a few medical supplies in her cupboard. With a brief glance towards each other, and a few questions on how far it is, they agree, and the slight detour begins. It really isn’t far and her home is only on the second floor so it doesn’t take long for her to dig the knives out from under the floorboard and the medical supplies from the cabinet. 

She stashes them all into a backpack, Tess and Joel standing over her as Ellie fishes around for other potentially useful objects. She can see Joel getting a bit anxious and makes to finish up fast, finally zipping up the bag and standing up. “Okay,” she says, nodding at Ellie to stop, “let’s go.”

She’s the last one out of the apartment. She turns off all the lights, and locks all of the locks on her door, knowing that there’s a very large chance she won’t ever see that room again.

_

“Woah, this is your home?!” Ellie laughed in the doorway, Y/N behind her.

“Yeah, Punk, go on in. Make yourself at home,” She watched as Ellie haphazardly stepped in, and then grinned before throwing herself on the sofa, head first and feet in the air, “Woah!” 

Y/n grinned stepping behind her kitchen counter, “You want a drink?”

Ellie sat up sharply, “Yes please.” 

She watched as Y/N took out two cups and poured water into them, something that would become a ritual. She walked around, handed one to Ellie and then said, “Scooch up,” before sitting in the space the girl had made for her.

“You have a really good home.” Elie lopsidedly grinned.

“It ain’t much, but, well… you’re welcome whenever you want, Punk.” 

-

The moment they arrived at Tess and Joel’s place, Ellie began to look around. The girl was curious… perhaps nosey… what could she say? But at that moment she was sifting through a thick magazine before a slip of paper fell out. She pushed it in Y/N’s direction, quietly whispering about what it could mean and the numbers… 60s, 70s and 80s. The second Joel and Tess’ conversation was over Ellie whipped her head around as Tess left to grab some stuff, telling Joel to watch over the two of them and leaving him alone.

The room that they’d been placed in was like any other home in the QZ, minimal, grey and cold. There was a weak attempt at a bookshelf in the corner with barely anything on it, a cracked brown leather sofa and a tiny coffee table. The room was connected to a kitchen, which was dirty and faded, and had barely anything in it except dirty coffee. There were two windows at the end of the living room, with curtains that merely blocked the view but didn’t stop the light from coming in. And between those windows was a table with a radio, one that Ellie took great interest in. 

“The radio’s a smuggling code, right?” Y/N grinned as Ellie began to read out the numbers and the words next to them.

“60s song, they don’t have anything new. 70s, they got new stuff…what’s 80s?” 

Joel paid no mind to either of them and instead lay down on the sofa, to which Ellie asked, “What are you doing?”

“Killin’ time.” He responded, shutting his eyes and letting his wrist hang off the sofa.

“Well, what are we supposed to do?” Y/N asked, settling by the window with Ellie.

“I dunno, you’ll figure it out.” Joel groaned.

A moment passed but Ellie just couldn’t let it go, “Your watch is broken.” There was no reaction, no sound from Joel. So Y/N turned to Ellie and began to tell her of the time before, as she often asked her to do. 

-

When Joel woke up, Ellie was too preoccupied with the rain falling out the window and so Y/N turned to him and smiled, lightly and barely, “You mumble in your sleep.” to which Ellie hummed in agreement. She said it as if all people of a certain age didn’t. Everyone from before had lost someone and everyone from before had killed and it was very rare that a single person over the age of twenty-five actually got a good night’s sleep. Joel couldn’t remember the last time he had actually slept through the night without waking up in a cold sweat, calling out names and remembering faces.

“I’ve never been on the other side of the wall.” Ellie was speaking to no one in particular, just the room, “Look how dark it is… you guys go out there a lot?” 

“I’ve been a few times.” Y/N shrugged.

And Joel simply said, “I guess.” 

“When was the last time?” 

“Maybe a year… what’s it matter?”

The questions continued on and on, Ellie wondering about the world outside and Joel, Y/N and Tess’ ability to navigate the outside world. It all comes to a halt, however, when she sends Y/N a look, a slight head nod, and a sly smile.

And she says, “Oh, the radio came on while you were sleeping.” 

Joel sits up instantly, “What? What was the song?” 

Y/N shrugs, “Wake me up before go-go, don’t leave me hanging on like a yo-yo…” 

“Shit,” He says, and the two women grin at each other, discreetly high-fiving as the younger announces, “Gotcha’. 80s means trouble…Code. Broken.” 

Joel huffed, “The two of you get up and get your jackets on. Tess should be back soon.” 

-

The trip through the QZ is perhaps the most terrifying thing Y/N has done in the past year. Of course, nothing quite compares to running from a group of infected, but this will have to suffice. 

There are F.E.D.R.A everywhere, lights, trucks and guards. The entire place is surrounded and it’s a long journey but they make it to the outskirts, just about. Joel is dead quiet, Tess following behind, then Ellie and Y/N. Both Tess and Joel have guns in the waistbands of their jeans and Y/N has knives in pockets, socks and a small one folded up into her bra. 

Boston is sort of strange at night, she realises. Due to the curfew, it’s been a while since she’s been out. Of course, she’s seen outside from her windows. Heard the slight hum of the trucks and the rattle of her window panes as they pass her house, the gentle buzz that comes from the part of the city that never sleeps. Just because the zombie apocalypse started doesn’t mean the crime stopped, and there is always a slight glow and buzz from the parts of the city with markets, that F.E.D.R.A turns an unlawful blind eye to. 

But actually being on the streets, among the houses, is so…strange. The comforting buzz of trucks and people isn’t there, you can’t feel it through the pavement and it throws Y/N off slightly. But they continue forward nonetheless. 

Until they turn a corner. They’re right by the fence, ready to go, but there’s a guard there, taking a piss against the wall and Tess freezes. She thinks for a second they’re gonna be able to get away with it but then his head turns and he’s saying, “Hey, what the hell!”  Before hurriedly zipping his trousers up. 

“Don’t move!” He says, pulling out a flashlight and a gun. He points the flashlight in their direction, it meets Joel's face and he practically deflates and sags, “You’ve gotta be shittin’ me…”

Joel raises his hands, “Okay let’s talk this out.” but it’s too late and the man is telling him to turn around and get on his knees. 

Y/N suspects the guard and Joel made know each other, and if they do it wouldn’t take her by surprise. Joel tries. He tries to compromise and he tries to debate the man who is commanding him to get on his fucking knees.

“I said stay the fuck home!” The guard says, only confirming Y/N’s suspicions.

It all moves so fast and then she’s on her knees next to Ellie, 

Joel’s still trying to bribe him with pills and drugs, but then he’s got something in her neck and he’s working very steadily down the line towards Ellie. There’s a zap at the back of Y/N’s neck, a slight sharp pinch and then a little beep. Y/N’s eyes are trained on Ellie, making sure she’s safe as the man raises the scanner to her neck and then- 

Jesus fucking christ. There’s a knife sticking out the guard’s knee before any of them can even realise it. Ellie had done it with a sharp scream, turning around and just plunging it in as the device touched her. The man stumbles back. Screams and before anything else Joel’s on top of him, fists pummeling his face, chest heaving, back moving left right, left right, as he demolishes this guy until there’s no life left in him.

Ellie and Y/N simply stand and watch, Y/N stood right behind the teenage girl, watching the man as blood splattered across his face. So that’s what Marlene meant by “capable of.”. 

 But they’re torn out of it by Tess, who had stumbled her way to where the device the guard held had fallen at the fence, “Jooeell,” She calls, “Joel!” She picks it up and red light flares across the scene, causing alarm to run through every adult there.

Ellie’s infected. Marlene had you transporting an infected. 

But Y/N doesn’t think before she sees Tess advancing towards them, And then wraps her arms around Ellie and pulls a knife, “Stay the fuck away from her!” She doesn’t consider the infection as she holds Ellie close and a knife to Tess.

Then Ellie’s yelling and rolling up her sleeve, still in Y/N’s tight grip, “I’m not infected! Please, please, I’m not infected! Look, this is three months old! Completely healed over, anyone infected would’ve died by now, please, please!” 

She has one hand clinging to Y/N, the arm the woman has wrapped around her chest. 

The sirens start, the lights flashing off the building walls, guards yelling and Joel hisses, “Shit. Tess, we’re gonna have to trust her- them.” His words allow Y/N to drop the knife and the vice-like grip she has on Ellie. 

“Fine,” Tess says, tucking her gun away, the answer short and alarmed. She doesn’t say more before she turns to the fence and suddenly Y/N sees the hole in the wire. Tess slips through, no problem, and then Joel, who had cleared himself up. Y/N gives Ellie a look,a reassuring nod, a “We’re gonna be okay, Punk. No go.” and then they’re off, into the world beyond the wall, just as the rain begins.

Y/n flicks up her hood as she slips through the wire, looks up and sees the corporate buildings, tipped over and covered from head to toe in greenery. It’s nearly beautiful.

God, it’s been a long, long time…