So I'm not the type to typically make vent art as its not really my way to process things, but today I felt like putting at least something "on paper" so to speak, because my mental health has REALLY been kicking my ass lately (The things mentioned aren't even all that I'm dealing with, the rest are just more specific that I didn't feel like including here, as they'd require much more context), and wanted to at least try and see if it'd somehow help me process things or smth as I am feeling VERY overwhelmed with everything.......
I picked Chouma to represent these feelings, as he's one of the most anxious characters I have, though his reasons are different from mine.
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Do you have any couples that would wear these shirts?
Finished these doodles with this joke couples shirt thing I had an idea for. I clearly don't draw Roman enough because I feel like I keep drawing his face kinda off somehow? I should really just do a doodle session with him, given he's my main gal's BF so he's very important character....
(Fun fact: Kousai is Chouma's past human identity in his main story, I just decided to have them as separate characters for the cyberpunk au thing)
My quest to build my cyberpunk storyline continues. I figured that for Chouma, his very OG design works as is here, but since he will appear in two other story tags, I'll have to adjust his design for those. (for NCP one I already have different wing pattern and clothes to be fair, but I could do a bit more)
Kousai has no full body ref yet, but there is already an image that shows it, so for my purposes I have it already, but maybe I will make a proper one sometime later....
Today's mermay piece; my friend suggested these two with the "otter nap" pose thing.
Figured it does fit Chouma and Youko so here we are. Youko's head admittedly looks a tad too large in proportions, but by the time I realized that I was almost done, and don't feel like fixing it lol
Since they have nothing to do with anything amphibian 'canonically,' I didn't really think about the designs that much; I was more trying to achieve that "some bits poking out of the water" look.
After making the human disguise designs for Chouma/Kousai and Cecil, I suddenly felt inspired to draw something cyberpunk inspired with them. I have more ideas for this AU too with other characters.
The person speaking is one called Hayden, I kind of wanted to make him the "protag" for this AU. He used to be one of my favorite characters years and years ago, but he got pushed in the back burner and his current role in the main story is pretty minor.
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When the more demonic looking version of you is actually the reasonable one, you done goofed.
Spent the entire day doing buncha doodles to flesh out Chouma's character AND his relationship with his boyfriend Cecil, who also got a name change btw (he was originally Alois, but I'm giving that name to another character. Also decided to bring back Chouma's true name again, as "Chouma" was always an alias)
Summary: Chouma is a moth-spirit, a special type of reborn human soul who gets another chance at life to symbolically complete any unfinished business they had/ease their regrets. Sometimes however, the regret is something very violent and vengeful, in where it turns into a Grudge, and corrupts the spirit.
They then need to be able to somehow purify themselves from it I.E let go of the said grudge, or they'll lose themselves to it and become a danger to themselves and anyone around them.
You know, pretty basic spirit stuff honestly, except you get a colorful makeover, an actual new lifetime, and extra fluff.
More detailed info below:
Chouma/Kousai & Cecil Grudge Storyline summary: Chouma's grudge actually didn't awaken until he stepped back into the human world on a totally unrelated note; they were looking for Chouma's honorary baby sister Youko (and her mom Uma) who'd gone to visit human world Japan with her momma, and they got lost.
Managing to summon a human disguise for the first time, it looked a lot like his old self, AND they end up mixed into with local crime syndicate, where an old member actually recognizes Chouma, thus triggering his memories AND the Grudge that had been sleeping within him. Namely, the fact he was backstabbed and overdosed to death by a member of his group who wanted to climb the ranks and was ordered to assassinate him as everyone started to find him too dangerous.
His boyfriend then has to go on a bit of an adventure to try and help Chouma - now stuck as Kousai - to snap out of it, though he does get help from some of the other people important in his boyfriend's life, such as his new found-family Shika, Shura and Youko, as well as Chouma's bandmates and other friends, AND his kind of a mentor/ elder brother figure Yaguro, a fellow moth spirit.
EXTRA FACTS ABOUT KOUSAI:
The scars on Kousai didn't exist when he was a human, but are simply representations of his Moth Spirit markings, same with his freckles.
The tattoo on his back is also symbolic for his wings. He did have tattoos as a human, but none of those appear in his current form. He can actually still summon his wings even in human form.
The discoloration and scarred edge on his arms is yet another reflection of his true moth-spirit nature, essentially showing where his arm fur starts.
He used to wear earrings back then too, but the current ones mimic his moth antenna and aren't representative of what Chouma used to wear in the past.
Chouma is still present the entire time he's stuck as reborn "Kousai" and kept trying to get through to his old self before he destroys the life he'd build as Chouma. (They are the same person after all)
A lot of the differences between the two's personalities are simply reflections of Kousai's trauma and how his harsh lifestyle shaped him; Chouma represents what he could've been like/was capable of being.
Lil Chimera "Queen" and her trusty horsie (she claims he doesn't bite - usually)
Wanted to draw something today, but had no real motivation for any of my to-do list things, so I let my brain randomly decide what to make. t chose these two chaotic gremlins/unlikely friends. They are among my favorite character duos we have with me and my friend.
Chouma's update with his new wing design + decided to add his human form/past self of sorts into the same post given his and Cecil's trip to human world is essentially his own "main" storyline. (In the last pic Chouma still has his old wing pattern, but I was too lazy to go fix that too lol)
Side note: that red fluff is NOT part of his jacket, but his own moth collar.
Bio below:
Name: Chouma
Name translation: butterfly devil
Original name: Kousai Ryoma (Eye iris & 500-man batallion devil)
Nicknames: Chou-Chou (Youko) Sad fluff (Max) Kou (when human)
Age: He died/manifested around the age of 24, 5 years ago from current date
Height: 183 cm
Occupation: A rockband's vocalist/guitar (Former Yakuza as human)
Family: he was looked after by a special type of local light spirit called Shura & Chimera lady Shika, acts as a big brother figure for Shika's niece, a kid called Youko.
Love Interest: Cecil (A bakeneko who works as a hairdresser & is the brother of his bandmate's boyfriend)
Friends: Youko, Sebastian Kravchenko (Wyvern) Max Karuna (A naga) Kaspian Kravchenko (Also a Wyvern) Laurent (A sea serpent) Roman (Half blood lycan/Grimmhound)
MOTH SPIRIT LORE:
Moth spirits are human souls reborn in new form through what is called a Hive Tree. There used to be 7 of those, but after the Ancient War only 3 are left. Each tree attracts slightly different types of souls with unfinished business:
Amethyst Wisteria: A purple tree which reminds a massive Wisteria tree in appearance, the spirits manifested by this one are typically those who were in some way significant people in their community, dying unexpectedly. Leaders, warriors, freedom fighters, etc.
Emerald Weeping Willow: A green tree similar in likeness to Weeping Willows, only again much more massive. Souls born from this tree were those with tragic, darker sudden deaths. These souls were typically killed by someone in a non-war setting (I.E victims of crime) or they died of self-inflicted injuries caused by mental distress of some sort. (Chouma was born from this tree, he was killed by someone overdozing him with a drug known as devil butterfly, hence his name)
Blue Lapiz Spruce: A large tree in likeness of blue spruce. The souls that this tree attracts are typically those who died in a freak accident or natural disasters. This tree tends to birth a lot of child moth spirits, given it is more likely for a child to die of a freak accident/natural disaster than be of a level of importance/die due to crime. (both are still possible, but rarer)
Moth spirits also correspond to the tree they are born from in color; Wisteria-born are purple with sometimes yellow accent colors, Weeping willow's creations are green with occasionally red accents, and Blue Spruce creates blue spirits with orange accents. Their names also typically indicate how they died in some way, or reference the setting they died in/a significant object related to it.
Born-Adult spirits recall their deaths with often some sort of trauma-related response left in them, whereas children tend to not remember at all; it is a supposed form of mercy by the Hive trees, granted to the youngest souls.
The way moth spirits complete their "unfinished business" is more symbolic, rather than directly going to those this regret is connected to. (Often this'd be impossible given those people may be long gone themselves) For example, they perform the same action/reach the same goal they didn't do during their past life: confessing your love, helping with something you didn't help with, etc. It is in that sense, not a do-over to fix what you already did, but a second chance to not repeat your mistakes.
Powers:
Basically the entire moth-spirit roster: Flight, butterfly poofing like a vampire, spitting acid or webbing, destructive shriek, stab & fireproof wings, pocket dimension to store stuff in, ability to coat areas into darkness with his butteflies I.E pull something into his pocket dimension. De-manifesting his wings if needed. Sleep inducing vibrations from his antennae.
Excellent singing/songwriting skills: He is a musician, and suspects he was one even in his past life, which is very likely the case.
KNIFE: Chouma is actually pretty good fighter, especially with knives. It is another remnant from his past life, where he was quite notorious even among his own group for being brutal in fights.
WEAKNESSES:
His death-induced weakness that majority of moth-spirits have, is his fear towards showing himself in the most vulnerable state to someone he cares about, because he was likely found dead by someone he loved. In turn, he ALSO doesn't want people to catch him off-guard, given his killer was a backstabber who he thought he could trust.
The mere idea of either happening is enough to send him to a panic attack sometimes, which is why seeking help when he really needs it can be extremely difficult for Chouma. Once he starts to awaken his "Grudge" he might also become aggressive towards people during these moments.
Grudge, is something a moth spirit may develop if their regret they are seeking relief from has something extremely negative attached to it, such as wanting revenge as in Chouma/Kousai's case. This can make them act extremely irrational and obsessive, to the point they become a danger to themselves and others.
PERSONALITY:
Chouma is mostly fairly quiet and introverted person, who only shows his flashier side when performing, appearing far more confident in himself on stage than he truly is. He prefers to be left alone and only hang out in small groups, with people he trusts. Lot of his avoidance towards the more typical rockstar life is due to his death as a human, and he's very mindful about his drinking, let alone how he acts in certain situations, such as around kids.
While he tends to come off as calm and maybe even a bit out-of-it/tired on the outside, he's bit of a ball of anxiety, and can be very trigger happy in some situations, where he's accidentally hurt people with his powers. Chouma always feels awful about it, of course.
As Kousai he was much more aggressive but also had genuine confidence. He was also stubborn, impulsive and extremely petty. Both sides do share their tendency for strong loyalty towards their loved ones (and a habit of blushing madly over their bf)
EXTRA FACTS:
Chouma is often seen hanging out/babysitting his honorary little sister Youko, and her aunt has theorized that Chouma used to have a little sister when he was a human, which is why he took a liking to the kid so fast. (This turns out to be true, although his human sister had passed already by then)
While he is often seemingly the most intimidating looking member of the band, he's actually their Poor Baby Cinnamon Roll (tm)
Chouma's memory of his past life is a bit patchier than Yaguro's, a fellow moth spirit whom he has met through his "caretakers" and has a lot of respect for. His hairstyle was actually inspired by Yaguro's samurai bun.
This patchiness turns out to be because his Grudge was put in deep sleep when he first manifested, hence he couldn't remember much anything.
He likely died somewhere between the 80-90ies.
Chouma is pan
Their band's name, The Showman's Lament, originates from Chouma's musings about his past and tragic death, how while he's thankful of his new chance, he still mourns his old life.
The logo was inspired by his wing pattern.
His outfits are typically designed/he chooses outfits so that his fluff collar doesn't have to be stuffed inside them, as he finds it uncomfortable.
He is very careful about his drinking, having the tendency to party much less than his friends. They both understand it, knowing his personal history and don't mind.
Chouma is not typically one for conflict, but he is willing to defend his friends if needed, and has gotten involved in fights alongside Sebastian a lot. People tend to find him the scarier one between the two, despite Wyverns like Bass generally having a more fearsome reputation.
This unconscious unease towards Chouma is very likely caused by his sleeping Grudge, and generally his old personality still lingering
He was born from the Emerald Weeping Willow tree, hence his green color.
The tattoo he has on his back as human is the symbol of his moth side, and the fact it was born out of his death, which is why it appears like a skull in shape somewhat with Chouma's colors, the green flames below representing a soul.
