#choogie

Charles had grown to love the feeling of falling asleep in August’s arms, their naked bodies pressed against each other under the thin sheet that covered them.  Falling asleep to the sound of his heart, it was just pure bliss to him. The whole experience, this relationship, it all made Charles wish he could’ve had this from the beginning, but then again, he loved how special this felt.

He wondered why he had never felt this way before, why he had never allowed himself to get close to some and to feel something like this. He could joke around and say he was waiting for the right person or that he knew August would pop up out of nowhere. Charles loved to fool himself and pretend that he knew and planned this. But nothing about this relationship was planned, and nothing was ever known before it happened. That could easily be proven by the drawer filled with his clothes, or his shampoo in the shower, even by the feeling he got when August would get up in the middle of the night. Nothing was planned, and Charles had never prepared himself for the kind of love he felt. So, no, saying anything like that fooled no one.

Truth was that Charles, as much as he loved this relationship and August, he was scared out of his mind. It wasn’t like Martin had left much damage, but he had done enough to let Charles know to be prepared for the worst, obviously having something so great, something that you love so dearly, could end you up with a tremendous amount of heartbreak and scarring if not an amazing experience. Experience, that’s the word Charles had fallen asleep to, was this relationship just going to serve as an experience, was there going to be an awful break to snap him out of his lovely bubble?

The light of the sun felt sweet on Charles’ skin that morning and the thought was long gone, like if it had never even happened, and like there was no way it could ever. And  Instead of waking up next to an empty spot, Charles found himself waking up to the feeling of his boyfriend getting up from the bed, he opened  his eyes to see his pale butt cheeks as he walked out the door, Charles smiled and curled back under the sheets to fall back into a peaceful sleep.

Charles felt a soft tickle on the side of his head, a smile played on his lips as he felt his boyfriend kiss him, on the cheek, on his forehead, he groaned lightly as to sound displeased, but it was more than a beautiful feeling, waking up to that kind of affection. He opened his eyes, but his boyfriend was long gone, the door still open. He crunched up his face, missing his presence already and hating that no word was said. All irritation left his mind when he found a nice breakfast where his boyfriend should’ve been, he smiled thanking his boyfriend.

He cautiously picked up the cardboard and placed it on his lap, he could get use to it, the nice gestures done by August, constantly getting surprised by his beautiful boyfriend, he’d never get tired of it.  

Every bite was beautiful and something to savor, it all made Charles want to curl up under the covers with his boyfriend. He felt loved, fuzzy, and warm, and all he wanted to do was to be one of the cute couples you’d see in silly cliché movies, with August. It should’ve gotten him mad, how just one small gesture made him want to be so many things for August, but anger was something he rarely felt when August was around.

He looked down at his almost empty plate and reached for his napkin, he dabbed his lips twice and placed it back down on the cardboard, almost missing the black ink on it. Curiosity tickled inside as he noticed words were written on the small piece of napkin, he first thought it was a phone number someone saved in a hurry, but when he brought the white cloth up to read it, he almost tipped over his breakfast as he rapidly reached for his glasses.

“Move in with me” he read out loud, softly, and quiet.

Was the note for him? Was it from August? Charles’ eyes were wide with excitement, fear, and worry that he had gotten the note by mistake. Then he stopped himself from getting up and asking August, he thought, why not? He spent half of his time there and half of the other half moving back and forth from his dorm to his boyfriend’s apartment. And August didn’t seem to mind him staying over, actually, he seemed to enjoy it… He decided not to question it, not to question any other moment he spent with August and to just accept and embrace what he had to offer.

He placed the breakfast back down where he had found it and slipped on a pair of boxers he was sure were not his, when he reached the door he felt nervous, he could just ignore it, pretend he had not seen the note, let August ask him face to face –if the note was no accident- give him time to /really/ think it over.  

Accept. Embrace. He thought. He took a deep breath and relaxed to hide and erase his doubts. He looked at August, who was minding his own business, drinking some juice. Charles approached him quietly and took in the sight of him, his naked body, the way he was leaned, so relaxed, so casual… Charles could never mind waking up to that sight.

He hugged August from behind and kissed his naked pale back, “August” he whispered by his ear, /I love you/, this was the perfect moment, three words, it could never hurt, “I”, he kissed his neck, “I would love to wake up next to you,” he finished, his heart took a break, a breath, before accepting a new stage in their relationship and introducing a new kind of new to Charles.

It happened rarely, Charles would wake up in the morning with the bright sun peeking from the window and with his boyfriend next to him. And Charles appreciated any and every morning when this happened. He smiled, knowing that the pale boy was next to him. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, before getting up to wash his face. He was happy when he came back to find his boyfriend still in bed. He stayed at the door for a moment, just staring at him, looking up at the ceiling with his arms under his head. That’s what happiness looked like to Charles, his boyfriend, it was pathetic for him to ever admit to himself, but he’d never deny it. He was falling; he had fallen for August.

“Good morning,” he smiled as he crawled back on the bed.

August had been up for about an hour now, just staring at the ceiling fan as it spun, thoughts circling his head almost to reenact the motions. He had toyed with the idea of getting up and watching tv to occupy his time, but he much rather preferred the easy silence created to him in those beautiful mornings. Watching as Charles rose, he shook from his spell and waited for his return, which prompted him back into their bed, back into his arms. "Good morning."

Charles gave him a peck on the cheek then let himself fall back to his earlier position, he looked up at the ceiling, trying to figure out why August always seemed to be doing it. "Have you been up long?" he asked, wondering if he had even slept on the bed next to him or if he had found his way back from the couch.

August moved over on his side and just stared at him for a moment, his fingers trailing up his arm before taking his hand. "No," he lied, smiling loosely.

 Charles chuckled and pulled their tangled hands to his lips before kissing his hand and smiling, "okay", he kept his eyes on the ceiling and found himself caught in a web of his own thoughts, "did I tell you my sister called?" He asked for no real reason.

August hummed to show interested, shaking his head. "Which one this time?" He still got their names mixed up, but he'd never tell.

Charles laughed, "I only have three sisters... It was Peaty, the oldest, she wants me to go home for Thanksgiving" he turned around and met August's eyes, "you think you'll be able to survive a week without me?"

August knit his eyebrows in confusion. "Doesn't mean I knew which one it was. My question was completely fair to ask...." He scrunched up his nose when he was approached with the question, sighing heavily as he moved closer, resting his head on Charles' chest with an arm swung over his stomach. "I'd rather not."

Charles rolled his eyes "Peaty is the oldest, Pearl is second oldest, then there's Temperance, but I wouldn't worry with their names, I usually just call them Peas, after the size of their brains" he laughed at his genius. He tightened his lips, he never really liked it when August rested on his chest, he was well aware that he could hear his heart, and most of the time it was beating loud and fast when he was with August, it gave him all away. "Not survive? Someone's going to have to be here when I come back, I'd rather you not be dead" he pretended to misunderstand.

August huffed out a low grumble of a laugh, loving when Charles degraded others. It was adorable and the fact that he laughed at his own joke was almost more amusing than said joke. "I'll try to remember next time." And that was true, he did want to remember. He wanted to know everything there was to know about his boyfriend, well at least the important things. While Charles spoke, August couldn't help but playful run his fingers on his side, his lips turning to kiss his chest. He was constantly obsessed with physically loving Charles, no matter what it was they discussed. "Stop being silly," he mumbled, still grinning. "I just don't see why we still can't be together, that's all."

Charles smiled, thankful that August was willing to remember his sisters' names, as silly as it sounded, it actually meant a lot to him. He moved his arm and placed it around August, pulling him closer to him, his other hand was placed on his head, his fingers running back and forth through his boyfriend's hair, "okay" he giggled, "well... we could be together... but I mean that'd require my family traveling down here, and I'd rather they didn't... so, I mean... you could go with me...?" he knew his heart was beating out of the normal, he was nervous, he wanted August to say yes, but that'd mean he'd have to meet his family... that scared him.

August shut his eyes and swore he could almost fall asleep right there in Charles arms, his fingers feeling absolutely perfect in his hair. After not getting very much sleep, it probably wasn't the smartest idea to get so comfortable, he just forgot that Charles had a way of curing insomnia. His voice drifted into his ears and he hummed more in thought, always one to be vocally responsive. He was struggling with this idea of going, not at all because he didn't want to, but because he had to avoid planes, and avoiding planes meant he'd have to explain somehow to Charles why he couldn't get on planes...and he couldn't do that. "And how would we get there?" He decided to take this slow. He couldn't just rush into acceptance without a plan.

Charles concentrated on the ceiling, letting the words fall from his lips instead of actually thinking on the boy who rested on his chest. "well a plane would be faster... unless you've got a magic carpet somewhere... but I mean, you don't have to go... I was just suggesting" he finished quietly.

  August knew definitely he couldn't fall asleep now, the gears in his head turning and going back in time, his past a reminder that he'd never live normally. He chewed on his bottom lip, quiet for more than a minute, hoping the silence didn't sound like rejection. He was just thinking, never intending on hurting Charles. He wondered what it'd be like to tell him...maybe not everything, but at least give him an excuse, at least draw out pity for his situation. "I've got to tell you something..." he

whispered, almost wishing he hadn't.

  Charles began to panic inside, that phase almost never brought good news, that he knew from personal experience, "what is it?" he asked cautiously.

  August looked up and met his eyes, deciding last minute to back out...already erasing the story he'd webbed together in explanation. "I don't have a passport." He smiled in an amused manner, seeing the worry in Charles eyes.

Charles ' face immediately brightened up, "is that a yes?' he asked amazed in this new change in August he had grown to love. "Wait... why don't you have a passport, how did you get here?" he asked now a bit curious, still he smiling.

August laughed, smiling wider at the sight of Charles all excited. He turned his cheek to face him and shrugged. "I traveled by boat, my love. I actually hate planes." He was lying, considering he'd never actually been on one before, but as he breathed in Charles' happiness, he knew it was better this way. "But yes, this is a yes."

Charles could feel his cheekbones hurting from how big his smile was, he was so happy, not only was August willing to go with him, but being as charming as he could be, he could meet his family and even get a long with them. And August needed that, Charles needed that, because he was planning on having August around for a long time. He got up and pinned August down, he sat down on top of him, so happy, and kissed him as deeply as he could with the excitement, "we'll work it out, planes aren't that bad, I promise" he had his face inches away from his, their noses almost touching, he wanted to say the three worded phrase, but he couldn't, as happy as he was, he wanted it to be perfect, he wanted to be more than just sure, "hopefully my family doesn't kill you" he whispered, still smiling.

August remained collected, only smirking as he watched his boyfriend blossom into smiles. It was moments like these he was sure he made the right choice. He didn't complicate anything and now, now they had something to celebrate even. He could see Charles putting everything together in his head, his eyes lost in this glaze. August gave out a chuckle and laid back on the bed, welcomed by an excited Charles as he was climbed. He laughed more, right against the boy's lips and was almost warm with happiness. Nothing had ever felt like this before. No one else could do this to him. It was times like these he could have called it love, but he was still cowardly towards these emotions and one step forward was two steps back. Not to mention, he had a lot to work out if he was going to get a passport by Thanksgiving. As real as he wanted this to be...he still wasn't fully honest himself. "I'm sure I can handle them. I've fought off drunk, frat boys, I think we'll be okay." He kissed him again, this time lighter. "You think they'll like me?" He said it sort of as a joke, not expecting much, because honestly, he didn't really care. August was more than sure he'd be in Charles life with or without their approval. No one else matter, no one but them.

Charles laughed, "frat boys? why wasn't I there to see that, okay babe" he giggled at the word he had called his boyfriend, it was silly, he felt like a teenage girl. "I really hope you're not being serious, my mom will love you, I already know it, Temperance likes anybody, Pearl can be a bit tough... and Peaty... nobody needs her" he laughed already imagining his oldest sister making a spectacle over him bringing someone like August. "It doesn't matter anyways... I like you" he smiled now, softer, he leaned in and kissed him softly as soft as he made him feel inside... hopefully still as happy as he felt inside.