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Family of origin influence is undeniable. Our families are a blueprint for how we see relationships and how we behave in them. When we were children, we looked to our parents and other family members to teach us ( often unconsciously) how to relate to others and what to expect in relationships. Often times we are unaware of how our family has affected us. Here are some questions to consider: 1. What is your role in your family? Has that changed from when you were a child? 2. What have you learned about relationships from your family? 3. What was an unspoken rule in your family? 4. Do you feel your emotional needs were met as a child? 5. What aspects of your family do you not want to pass along to your children? What do you want to pass along? 6. As a child, did you understand who was in charge and what the expectations were? 7. In what ways are you similar to your parents? How are you different? 8. Do you feel your family respects you? Has this always been the case? 9. How have your relationships with your family members influenced your emotions and behavior in other non family relationships? 10. Describe the communication style in your family. Is it the same or different with your partner, children or family now? These questions are not easy but they will help you gain insight into unconscious behavior patterns from your family of origin. It may also be helpful to create a family tree ( called a Genogram in Family Therapy) to see patterns of behavior and dynamics. We create an extensive Genogram with our clients to help diagram the family patterns and dynamics. This creates understanding and insight which helps people make necessary changes in their lives.