#cherridawne

Perfection?

What is it anyway? 

Everyone can’t be perfect, and many of us are NOT.

Often, we are taught to hide our flaws and/or differences to blend in with the norm or to what people are used too. But why?! Our flaws and our differences make us unique. They make us, US! (WHY ARE THEY EVEN CALLED “FLAWS”....SOUNDING SO NEGATIVE!)

Most of us only think of flaws as physical things. Imperfections don’t only come physical but can be mental or medical as well (or viewed as such anyway). Its always easier to hide a birth mark, a skin condition or even a part of the body you aren’t too fond of. But not all physical flaws are hard to hide. A lisp or stutter (which can be argued as a mental one too) are nearly impossible to hide along with a bunch of other mental and medical imperfections. Think about it. There are a large number of people who just cannot hide their flaws even if they wanted to. These people (I believe) are strong and had to be even if they weren’t. Literally anything you don’t like about yourself can be a flaw whether you choose to hide it or embrace it. Or even accept it as a flaw or not because I don’t believe in flaws.

Have you ever considered that our flaws are blessings? Have you thought that you were blessed with such flaws for a reason? By now ya’ll know I believe in a higher power and I personally know that He gives his strongest the most to handle. He knows you can handle what ever He throws at you. He doesn’t make flaws, because then that would mean he makes mistakes! Even if you don’t look at it from a religious stand point I’m sure many of you readers can understand that difficult situations can make you stronger person. 

One day, a friend of mine was just talking to me and he explained how my biggest flaw was effecting him so positively. I was shocked to hear him express his views regarding my flaws just because we never really spoke on it before. I mean, I didn’t really care what he had to say about it (regardless if it was good or bad), but I respected his opinion nonetheless. He said admired my bravery and strength for just simply not caring about it anymore and not trying to change who I am. It took A LOT for me to get to this point and of course nothing was easy about it. He understood the things I went through although he wasn't there and he knew I was a lot stronger because if it. He told me he hoped his children one day would understand the same values I taught myself as a kid and it would make them stronger beings for it. 

I’m sure by now, ya’ll are wondering what the hell is wrong with CherriDawne?! What is this FLAW?! I suffer from have a deformity condition called brachymetatarsia (click the link for more information) on both of my feet. In simple non-medical terms is just a shorten toe. I can’t recall if i was born with it (after my own research I found out you actually can..but from what I heard learning to walk around things was always a challenge and I might of hit it among many other body parts while learning how to walk. LOL. SOMEHOW FINALLY MASTERED IT THOUGH!) but I don’t remember having "normal” feet. Either way, I was teased by family and children for years to the point I hid it. In Grade 6 it started to bother me less. I was asked if I wanted a surgery to correct it and have normal feet. I declined. In the sixth or seventh grade I knew that if I altered myself I would NEVER be fully satisfied with my body and not be who I was intended to be. It wasn’t like I was difficult to walk or my shoes didn’t fit so why make such a drastic change just to convince myself nothing was wrong with me. Nothing IS wrong with me,though. I was made to be this way. 

So I say love your flaws! Accept who you were intended to be! Embrace your uniqueness! I have had a long battle and excepted mine. Maybe your flaws have nothing compared to others people’s, but you should never compare them anyway. Whatever your “flaw” is still will be a “flaw” until YOU say it’s not. Your opinion is the only one that really matters. Its time to toss all insecurities out the window and just be you! It’s not going to be easy but it is worth it! BELIEVE ME! 

P.S I have met people that also have brachymetatarsia and JENNIFER GARNER has brachymetatarsia too!

I’m tired of getting beat down I’ve been beat down my whole life And even before that Some would say I should be used to it Accept my fate, Accept the hurt, Accept the pain, But I can’t. Not no more, I’m done.

I’m tired of getting beat down I’ve been beat down my whole life Pushed around, used, And abused Emotionally, physically And mentally By everyone. It won’t happen no more, it’s done.

I said it’s over You, You and YOU Will no longer beat me down Lash me Pummel me Look down upon me Break me Until I am unrecognizable

Why? Cuz, I am a powerful woman A black woman, that is who I am; A Queen. Who is tired of being misguided and mistreated That will not accept being defeated An Empress. Who needs to be uplifted; t r a n s c e n d e d Beyond her limits; e x t e n d e d

2018 so far has become a very positive life change. I’ve started to own my own life a lot more and accept what is and what is not.  Learnt to appreciate the LITTLER things, that many seem to over look. Learnt to turn ugly into beauty and understand that positivity keeps me going. Although there were a few times I slipped out of my positive bubble, but we all do it right? I mean its only the second month but January seemed like a solid 3 months to me. 

Starting off this year I told myself “I’m not living like last year; not repeating last year this year. Not that last year was horrible. I’m just looking for improvements, growth and more structure. I wanna see my skin glowing and hair growing! With that being said I have decided to strengthen some of the relationships in my life to form a solid foundation for the rest of the year. Forming the right relations with the right people not only boost your growth alone, but you will have a solid support system to always fall back on. And that is SUPER important! Having a solid foundation will motivate you in a way that you cannot. Also, they are very useful to whip yo ass back in shape if you fall off the positive road. 

These bonds heal everything and I have some strong bonds in my circle. The key is to maintain those bonds. Communication keeps relationships strong no matter what type it may be. Be open, honest and direct about what you need in order to form better bonds. Work on compromises even (if need be); not everything is easy. Most of my closest friends love the fact that I speak my mind so freely but respectfully…sometimes….most times lol. 

Not everyone has had the chance to have a support system they can fall back on. I am most grateful for my team. #ChatWithCherri can be your support if you need. Feel free to talk to me, ask me questions or just share some insight. I am down for it all! I know what it feels like not to have anyone around when I needed someone. My world is honest and who am I to judge anyone, I am not God. 

Appreciate everything you have and don’t have (including the support team). Don’t be envious of what or who someone else has. You do not know what they might of had to do for it. And you might not be willing to put the same work in for it. Work extremely hard for what you want and harder for what you need. Once you put dedication and effort into anything your support team will most definitely aid you the rest of the way to success. 

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When your not happy in a situation just leave and don't look back. Don't dwell on the memories or what could of happened. If it's not working for you, just change so that if DOES work for you. I’m not saying give up at the first downfall just don’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Modify the scenario and change things till they work for you. Never settle for misery, Life can never be enjoyable being miserable because you are too afraid to open up your own opportunities to benefit you. Take the "L" and learn from the mistakes and make yourself happy, ALWAYS!

Any negativity is very toxic to your mental state including unhappiness. It can shift your morals and perhaps depress you severely. The tricky thing about obtaining happiness is no one can fulfill that hole but you. You are the only real person that can ensure your happiness. Yes, other means can make you happy. But its YOUR choice to be happy or to stay mad. So why put your body or your mind through all that hassle being miserable.

If something is just not working how you expect it, get it a different way. Figure a way you can get what you want or need out of the situation to stay happy. Trust your gut, follow your heart but never leave your brain behind. The mind is one of the most powerful tools you will ever have. Keep it healthy by maintaining a positive vibe full of happiness. More importantly use the tools you have.