#chenyao

Lan Clan Rules

The Lan rule set is basically a checklist for shit Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang can get up to this summer.

The rules include several that Lan Wangji is actively breaking this very moment, including “Don’t wear any jangling objects like beads,” “don’t be suspicious,” “don’t pierce your ears” and “don’t be supercilious.”  

Wei Wuxian’s Summer Project

Extrovert Wei Wuxian gets started on the important work of making new friends. Waving to Lan Wangji in class doesn't get him anywhere (apparently), but he meets Nie Huaisang and forms one of the most important relationships of his two lives.

He doesn’t even know what they are being mutually squirrely about yet but they are instantly on the same wavelength.

I like you, yeah I like you, and I’m feeling so bohemian like you

When Wei Wuxian discovers that this classmate has smuggled an entire live birb into this boring-ass lecture he is completely delighted, and they are brothers in troublemaking from this point onward.

This is where we learn something important about Nie Huaisang. He wanted a rare canary, so he stalked it for three days, caught it, and caged it.  

This careful hunter is 15 or 16...I wonder how much more patient and determined he will be when he's 35 or 36?

The Salute Ceremony: The Unstabby Bit

The Jin Clan starts off the salute ceremony by presenting Lan Qiren with a fancy book bound with gold string.

Wei Wuxian is genuinely impressed, but Jiang Cheng calls it "meretricious" [op looks it up] which means "apparently attractive but having in reality no value or integrity." Wow, Jiang Cheng is so deliciously bitchy.

Then it’s Nie Huasang’s turn. Wei Wuxian is impressed when he hears his name, meaning he befriended him without giving a fuck about who he is, which is sweet.  I adore this friendship and think there are so many reasons NHS chose WWX to carry out his vengeance, none of which come from him being the dread Yiling Laozu.

The Salute Ceremony: The Thirsty Bit

To represent the Nie clan, I present this nice pot to Lan Qiran, and this rare and beautiful twink to Lan Xichen

Note: the trash talking jerks in the background are from the Jiang clan. Yanli does not remind them about their manners.

Quiet, reserved Lan Xichen greets Meng Yao with compliments and a hand massage and by doing this thing with his mouth.

No words are being produced at this point, he is just...parting his lips gently while he rakes his eyes over Meng Yao’s face.

Meng Yao doesn’t mind a bit

Flames on the Side of my Face

The Wen Clan guys have left Club Ruohan and are coming to summer school. Wen Chao is evil. It's subtle but you can tell by the way he casually sets people on fire.

Lan Clan Rules for Gate Keepers

do not draw your sword to stop someone from setting you on actual fire

do not use magic to stop someone from setting you on actual file

do not call for help when someone sets you on actual fire

Wens Qing and Ning believe in helping people, so once the smell of burning flesh starts to annoy them, Wen Qing puts out a solid 80% of the flames.

Note: We’re going to be spending a lot of time hating Wen Chao, so now might be a good time to have a look at (actor) He Ping out of costume.

Clearly, Wen Chao is just a beautiful troubled person with pretty moles who totally deserves a second chance.

The Salute Ceremony: The Stabby Bit

The Wens interrupt Jiang Cheng’s salute. Lan Xichen apologizes to them for not knowing they were going to show up like a bunch of interrupting assholes.

Lan Wangji wants to murder Weng Chao and looks at Xichen for permission but Xichen says no.

I never get to murder anybody not even that Su She asshole

So Wei Wuxian starts running the WWX fight book, which has to actually be pretty gratifying for the Lans, who are stuck being good hosts.  

He skips the windup in this situation of heightened danger, so he is formal, polite, and doesn't cross any boundaries. But Wen Chao came looking to fight so it escalates immediately, with Jiang Cheng also getting in Wen Chao’s face.

The Wen Clan decides to teach the Jiang Clan a lesson.  This is really the seed of the Lotus Pier massacre...it was always going to happen. The Wens draw swords and almost the entire Jiang Clan immediately draws as well.  

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng both use the same sexy move, kicking their swords up off their benches into their hands.

Nie Huaisang hides behind Meng Yao, who immediately uses his whole body to shield him and shows a bit of his titanium spine. I LOVE Meng Yao’s strength here. 

Wen Qing protects her brother by putting her arm across his chest, which is not going to be helpful in any way if someone wants to stab him.  

To end this urgent and dangerous standoff Lan Xichen slooooowly brandishes his flute and plays a little toodleoo for 15 full seconds, eventually causing all the swords to fly up to the ceiling and then down into the floor.

{I know, flautists, I know. Never let facts get in the way of a joke!]

Everyone politely allows him to do this without actually taking any swipes at each other.  Then the swords all magically vanish along with the holes they made in the floor, which is convenient.

Now we get to see Lan Xichen angry, and oh my god, the tiny glimpse of that secret fire. 

Now Wen Qing finally steps up to defuse the situation. She cannot believe she has to work with her boss's horrible stupid son who insists on fucking up every project, god why did he ever get made a vice president I can't believe I have to work with this tool.

Meanwhile, Lan Xichen is going to rue the day he introduced Wei Wuxian to Flute Magic.

Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang 4-EV-R

After the ceremony Nie Huaisang, calling Wei Wuxian “Wei-Xiong” (brother Wei, a bit more formal than -ge) praises his bravery. Wei Wuxian says that he enjoys resisting evil, harking forward to his chivalric calling & future promise with Lan Wangji.

Jiang Cheng says, without irony, I think, and with only a little bitterness, that normal people can't compare to Wei Wuxian’s bravery. Wei Wuxian downplays his courage and says that he wants to teach Nie Huaisang to have fun.

Now - hopefully we've all seen Fatal Journey, right? I won't spoil it here. But if you've seen it you know that a person who gives Nie Huaisang permission to be his true self is going to be precious to him.

Lan Wangji shows up and Wei Wuxian calls out to him, calling him "Ji-Xiong." Lan Wangji totally blows him off but Wei Wuxian is undeterred.

Xichen and Qiren Talking.

Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren talk about this whole Wen situation while Qiren pours some tea that appears to just be hot water. Dude.

Qiren is afraid this murdering of cultivators is going to be something the two of them can't handle. You think? There are already about 16 dead cultivators in the mosh pit at Club Ruohan; at what point are you planning to handle it?

This Ship is Sailing

Meng Yao comes to say goodbye to Lan Xichen and to trade hearts with him. Also to have a lot of feelings that his giant eyes and adorable dimples cannot contain.

Lan Xichen: Don't bow to me. No need to thank me like this. We’re equals. As equals we could take turns kneeling to each other, if you catch my drift.

Lan Xichen: Why not stay for several days? Oh if you're Nie Mingjue's boy I guess I have to let you go. He's great. Really. SO great.  

Lan Xichen: Look, you’re with Nie Mingjue and I’m with Nie Mingjue and it only takes one stroke to turn a Vee into a triangle, is what I’m saying.

Grown-ass man Lan Xichen is so much less prudent than his teenage brother. Each of them has fallen hard for someone but the much younger Wangji tries to control it. Hopeless romantic Xichen goes right over the cliff, as well as deliberately knocking away many of the fences around Wangji’s heart so Wei Wuxian can make a home there. We love him for it, of course.