In Order To Save the Children You Had To Pimp Them Out (except, NO... you didn't!)
Millie Bobby Brown in W Magazine
A few months ago, I wrote an article about âalternative factsâ that was largely me complaining about Trump/Trump voters, and I said one problem is that liberal minded people (like myself) like to think that we own facts. That is, thereâs sort of an idea that âfactsâ are inherently progressive and âfake newsâ is inherently conservative. I said thatâs not the case. Itâs just a âhappy accident.â Several times in the past, more conservative folks have been accused me of having a liberal bias (this much is true) and told me that I therefore am just always willing to promote my âsocial justice agendaâ over the truth. Thatâs not true at all. Iâm just smarter than everyone else. Seriously. And thatâs not a good thing. Itâs exhausting. I wish everyone else was as smart as me. It would make the world a better place and a much easier place to get along in. Would you like to be a smart as me? Well, thereâs an easy way to start to do it. Read! FUCKING READ! And when you read, read the whole article! Donât just stop at the clickbaity headline and form your opinion. This goes for liberals and conservatives and everyone else. Youâre destroying the world! This is like one of the most important lessons that I try to teach my students. If you have a source, make sure you understand what the source fucking says!
So for every dudebro out there who thinks that I automatically side with the SJWs of the world on any given issue⌠and for all the SJWs of the world who think that having the moral highground over the dudebros automatically makes you right⌠this is not one of those times.
Yesterday, I saw an article float around social media a couple times. I eventually read it when my friend Schwei posted it. Itâs about the the horrible way that a magazine is sexualizing Millie Bobby Brown, the actress who plays Eleven on Stranger Things, by awarding her the âsexiest actress awardâ at such a young age. And when I saw it, my gut reaction was âwow, that sounds pretty awful.â And then this was followed up by âI would like to have an informed opinion on this⌠perhaps I should learn more.â And to learn more I employed this secret trick that smart people have passed on to each other throughout the ages. I read the fucking article! Ok, so here is why I hate social media and the blog-driven media world⌠this story is fake⌠FAKE NEWS! And itâs fake in the worst possible way. Itâs fake because people who claim to be journalists are doing lazy reporting and not doing the bare minimum amount of research that one should do when writing an article: reading the thing that they are reporting on. And in doing so, theyâve created a controversy that didnât actually exist⌠inadvertently sexualizing the poor teen girl theyâre supposedly trying to defend.
And no, Iâm not defending pedophiles. The problem is no one in this story actually is⌠Literally no one. People just refuse to check their sources.
So, I did the research myself because apparently no one else actually did.
Millie Bobby Brown in Variety Magazine
The article that Schwei posted was from an online site called Affinity Magazine. Their headline claimed that âMILLIE BOBBY BROWN NAMED SEXIEST ACTRESS BY PLAYFM, ONCE AGAIN PROMOTING PEDOPHILIAâ and in the article expanded that âa Spanish online radio publication, PlayFM, has made the decision of naming Millie Bobby Brown as sexiest actress. She is 13-years-old. Although it is undeniable that Millie Bobby Brown is elegant, poised, professional and talented, sexy is not how a pre-teen needs to be labelled. These inappropriate labels continue to promote pedophilia among adult fans of Stranger Things.â But the problem is, thatâs not true. Itâs not even remotely true. (And no, Iâm not just talking about the fact that 13 isnât a preteen. Itâs the youngest possible teen, yes⌠but still.. donât be lazy.)  Itâs totally just libeling PlayFM because thatâs not what they actually did at all! I know, because, I went and found the PlayFM article. It was hard, because theyâre not really a âspanish online publication.â Itâs written in Spanish, but itâs from Chile, not Spain, so I was looking in the wrong place for a while. But I didnât just give up. I kept looking. Because thatâs how research works. And then, when I saw that it was written in Spanish, I was left with a choice. I could look at the picture that was posted with it, a sexy glamour shot that was from her Variety Magazine photoshoot, and just make some random assumptions, or I could translate it. I chose B, because again, thatâs how research works.
I should pause here and point out that I just called the shot from Variety Magazine âsexy.â I did that on purpose. Yes, sheâs 13 â and in that photo (and in fact, that whole shoot, as Iâve seen other phtotos from it) she is indeed trying to be sexy. See, whether most people like to admit it or not. 13yos are sexual beings. Thatâs not to say that its appropriate for a grownup to try and fuck one. Itâs not to say that they should or shouldnât have boundaries. Itâs to say that by age 13, most people have an awareness of their sexuality⌠and sometimes, they like to play that up. Thereâs about a billion things we can go into here about where the constructions of sex for femininity come from. Thatâs a separate discussion. But in the Variety photoshoot sheâs certainly playing towards the male gaze. She wants to be sexy in it. Or at least what passes for sexy in the mind of a 13-year-old girl.
PlayFM did not name Brown sexiest actress. In fact, the article isnât calling her sexy AT ALL. Itâs actually an article *complaining* about other people sexualizing her. JUST LIKE AFFINITY. Specifically, it is actually complaining that W Magazine named Brown one of the 13 sexiest actors/actresses and PlayFM finds this outrageous⌠pretty much for the same reasons as Affinity. Literally the whole article is about how horrible it is that W did this.
Clearly no one at Affinity bothered to actually translate it.
Apparently I wasnât actually the first person to point this out, because Affinity has since changed the article. The url for the link is still the same (referring to PlayFM naming her the sexiest actress) and the metadata generated auto headline still says that if you share it, but if you click through, the actual article is now titled âMILLIE BOBBY BROWN NAMED SEXIEST ACTRESS BY W MAGAZINE, ONCE AGAIN PROMOTING PEDOPHILIAâ and they have changed the quote that I mentioned before to âa Spanish online radio publication, PlayFM, recently called out W magazine for naming Millie Bobby Brown as one of sexiest actresses. She is 13-years-old. Although it is undeniable that Millie Bobby Brown is elegant, poised, professional and talented, sexy is not how a pre-teen needs to be labeled. These inappropriate labels continue to promote pedophilia among adult fans of Stranger Things.â
So I was right, Affinity didnât actually read the article before they wrote their own. Someone just informed them they were wrong, and rather than print a retraction and update the story (which would be good journalism and responsible), they just edited the version in place, never acknowledging their mistake and not counting on someone like me going to go check the cached original. They also never bothered to change their metadata headline, hence the story still claims PlayFM gave her the award whenever you share it.
Charlize Theron on the Cover of August 2017 W Magazine
So we should all be mad at W Magazine for naming her one of 13 sexiest actors, right? Well, maybe⌠if they had done that. But they didnât⌠and I know that because I said to myself âwow, that seems a little outrageous. I should maybe check that source too.â And I  GOT THE FUCKING MAGAZINE. Because itâs 2017, and it turns out that you can get a magazine⌠online⌠easily⌠without even putting on shoes and leaving your house. And i bet you can see where this is going. No⌠PlayFM didnât bother to read the W story when they wrote their article either. It is true, the COVER to the August issue of W Magazine does have the word âsexyâ on it or actually âsexierâ (this, is common⌠writing âsexyâ on something sells). Specifically it says âWhy TV is Sexier Than Everâ and it has a picture of Charlize Theron. It also says âAtomic Blonde Charlize Theron Kicks Assâ. And it tells us to âToughen Upâ because fall fashion will have a âStrong New Attitude.â And under the TV is sexier logo there are in fact the names of a bunch of other actors⌠one of which is Millie Bobbie Brown.
But if you ACTUALLY READ FUCKING THE ARTICLE. They still didnât award her (or anyone else) anything. And itâs not about being sexy. The actual article isnât even called that. itâs called âMajor Drama: Thirteen reasons why television has never been hotter.â and they donât mean hotter as in âthese actors are sexy.â Itâs actually about âhotterâ as in âmore awesome.â Basically, why should YOU be watching TV and these are 13 actors that make it worthwhile.
What do they actually say about Brown? Well, this:
âTwo of the most exciting television performances of the year were brought to us courtesy of the streaming service Netflix. Millie Bobby Brown, as the otherworldly Eleven on Stranger Things, was an instant sensation. And Claire Foy, as a coming-of-age Queen Elizabeth in The Crown, changed everyoneâs idea of royalty.â Thatâs it. Thatâs the only time they mention Brown at all in the article. They also have a cute picture of her (very 13yo appropriate, the one at the top of this article) and in the caption is a quote from her where she explains that she was scared to cut her hair for the role but itâs only hair, but because itâs short now, sometimes people call her a boy.
Johnny Flynn stars as young Albert Einstein in Genius
Thatâs it. There is no award. The article isnât about them being âsexy.â The only time the word âsexyâ appears in the entire article at all is referring to actor Johnny FlynnâŚ. ONCE! They explain that he plays a sexy version of Albert Einstein on Genius. Which is⌠well, true⌠I guess. Thatâs the role. And he is 34. Thatâs it. The article is not about any of their looks or sexuality. Itâs actually about powerful dramatic performances that are making current TV hot (and i guess sexy) to watch. There is no award. The article doesnât even claim that the 13 actors they happen to interview are the hottest things on TV. Theyâre actually saying TV is hot right now⌠here are some examples to prove it. Which people would know⌠except apparently, Iâm the only person in the world who has ever READ THE FUCKING ARTICLE! Certainly no one at PlayFM or Affinity did.
So literally the only people who sexualized her at all, were the two sites that complained about the each other or the W article without reading it because they assumed she was being sexualized. The actual original article is probably the most respectful of Brownâs actual abilities (even though it basically only mentions her in passing). I canât really be mad at any reader who read and forwarded the Affinity or PlayFM articles. Because if they read them, theyâd simply be outraged for believe what they read. However the problem is, this all started because PlayFM and Affinity assumed that anything written about Brown had to be about her appearance. They reacted without doing the research. W Magazine isnât 100% innocent in this either. They did write the word âsexierâ on the cover. Every issue of W (as well as pretty much every other American fashion magazine) does this. Sex sales. And again, sexiness is defined by the male gaze. But the outrage that Affinity and PlayFM expressed, both accompanied by photos of Brown that certainly were âsexyâ or at least attractive, in reporting on something that never actually happened is what really exacerbated the issue in this particular case.
Brown is a 13yo actress in Hollywood. Sheâs a good one and on a hit show. In all likelihood, sheâs going to be sticking around for a while. This is not my first day on the internet. I have no doubt that if I googled there are probably dozens of websites out there with countdown timers ticking away til her 18th birthday when sheâll be âofficially fuckable.â Sometime soon after that, Iâm quite certain weâll be seeing a tasteful but sexy lingerie spread of her in Maxim or something and sheâll make a couple of sexy dramatic films to try and shed her child star image. Hereâs to hoping that in the end she comes out of all of this being Emma Watson and not Lindsay Lohan. In the meantime, Iâm sure there were thousands of 13-year-old boys dreaming of her while they pleasured themselves last night. And⌠yes⌠Iâm sure there were plenty of adult men who did this as well. And probably women and other genders. And that may be bad. But sexuality is just a part of the career. A major subplot of the show is Eleven coming to grips with her emergent sexuality â the other kids too.
And thatâs all actually fine.
Donât try to stop child sexualization in media by accidentally sexualizing children! In trying to combat this, by creating a pedophilic scandal where there wasnât one (and yes yes yes, dudebros, Iâm aware that youâd actually prefer that it be called ephebophilia⌠except youâre wrong, sheâs 13 so itâs actually hebephilia⌠so seriously fuck you), youâve made the equally problematic move of projecting an assumption of adult hypersexuality beyond what she is actually doing herself while also failing to recognize the little sexual agency she does have. You have cast her as far more sexualized than W ever did. YOU pimped her out!
And in targeting the wrong source (that is, W Magazine, rather than the theoretical countdown clocks that Iâm sure are out there) and promoting a fight against something that didnât happen, youâre implicitly letting the dudebros know that facts donât actually matter. Yes⌠I realize that President Dudebro yells FAKE NEWS at anything that he doesnât like. But all the Dudebro needs are a few examples where facts arenât right to capitalize on and justify themselves. It allows them to justify electing a dudebro president. Be better than this. So please⌠Before you write a thinkpiece attacking a source, FUCKING READ THE ARTICLE!
See Stranger Things Actress Millie Bobby Brownâs Style Transformation
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In Order To Save the Children You Had To Pimp Them Out (except, NO⌠you didnât!) was originally published on ChrisMaverick dotcom