#chechenya

I never meant for what I wrote to become the truth I feared broken corpses in frozen cells long before I even imagined humankind could fall this low I wept on lovers kept apart while the world was screaming at me that it was getting better For us But what if it just gets worse ? I remember a year ago when we wrote On shattered paper on the floor, wetted by our tears and the blood of our brothers That history was ours, that we’d end up the winners I still believe it, darling But when ? When is it the day we win ? There are parts of this world where they break our siblings’ bones and claim That we are the danger Where I live, some parents still cover the eyes of their children when we appear on the TV They say we make progress We do I could marry if I wanted to Sometimes I feel as though our fight was infinite Everytime we win a battle there’s another one that starts We’re supposed to be everywhere, we don’t have a minute to rest They’ll break our necks if we close our eyes I’m thankful every day for those who came before me I realize that I’m alive because they fought when no one would fight for them I know that the life of a queer French girl is way easier Now That it was even a few years ago I know I should follow their lead Be as strong as they were For those who’ll come after And those who share my time But sometimes I doubt being brave enough I know there was a time Being as proud as I am, even in this country Could mean death I know some of us still die for holding their lover’s hand I know places in the world, where you live, where they track us and kill us just for having the audacity to exist I know that some families kill their own children when they come out I’ve read about fires and locked doors And buildings And deadly falls I’ve grown up watching on TV marches against my rights My sister’s boyfriend was in one of them She was really proud of him It was the year I came out to myself Later this year the law passed and same-sex marriage was allowed in France My sister got dumped by her boyfriend and said she had changed her mind And that she was glad for this law I guess I’m quite lucky I know some of us won’t have this luck I know that we will keep dying in cells And dying from AIDS because no government is able to give us proper sex ed And dying in dirty streets, looking at our lovers Or dying alone I know some of us will keep jumping from bridges And suffer from bullying I know that families will keep throwing their children out I wish it wasn’t true I wish I could hold you And tell you to be strong I wish I could change the world in a minute so we wouldn’t have to hide So you wouldn’t have to fear Your door being opened in the quiet of the night And men in uniforms And seeing your death Coming too fast I wish we weren’t afraid anymore I wish I could promise you That it will be okay That it will get better It will, eventually We’re on the right side of history I just don’t know if we will live long enough To see it ourselves