I have one character trait and itâs being pissed at the mischaractarization of chassidism

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I have one character trait and itâs being pissed at the mischaractarization of chassidism

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TBH: the more I explore judaism the more I want to take an orthodox/chasidic route which is bizarre only because I never would have thought that it would be like this.
I could be biased because most of my study material and resources is coming from chabad organizations so ya know.
Also i also feel part of reason I want to pursue orthodoxy is because of this toxic notion in my head that I wonât be ~~~Jewish enough~~~ unless I do that and I know that isnât a good mentality but being a convert I feel like thatâs kind of the struggle im up against since not everyone will accept me as ÂŤÂ Jewish . 
(Also I just really love Jewish traditions/rituals and I want to feel more rooted in them and I think I can do that by engaging in an orthodox setting. Not that you canât in a reform/conservative location but you get what I mean).
"We all sing Rebbe Akivah's ma'amar about "Mikveh Yisroel Hashem" on Lag ba'Omer... Do we hear what we are saying?
Hashem is our Mikvah - not the mikvah, but Hashem. Now, what's that supposed to mean? To me, it means that our mikvah of water is an embodiment of Hashem's Chesed [loving kindness]. When we connect to Hashem in His Chesed, we are immediately purified. His Chesed is above all Dinim [laws], and certainly 'above' all Tum'ah [impurity], as Tum'ah is only an expression of Dinim. Our Tum'ah isn't really removed - rather, it becomes irrelevant."
from the guardyoureyes article 'Hashem is our Mikva'
The âMidrash on the Creation of the Childâ relates that after its guardian angel has given it a fillip upon the nose, the newborn child forgets all the infinite knowledge acquired before its birth in the celestial houses of learning. But why, Eleazar asks, does the child forget? âBecause, if it did not forget, the course of this world would drive it to madness if it thought about it in the light of what it knew.
Gershom Scholem, Major Trends in Jewish Mysticism; Third Lecture: Hasidism in Mediaeval Germany

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There is little to connect these old Hasidim of the thirteenth century with the Hasidic movement which developed in Poland and the Ukraine during the eighteenth century... The identity of name is no proof of real continuity.
Gershom Scholem, Major Trends in Jewish Mysticism; Third Lecture: Hasidism in Mediaeval Germany
- lots of time and thought separate these two movements, but also:
The true Hasid and the Zaddik of later Hasidism are related figures; the one and the other are the prototypes of a mystical way of life which tends towards social activity even where its representatives are conceived as the guardians of all the mysteries of divinity
Of special interest in this connection is the doctrine of the archetypesâwholly foreign to Saadiaâwhich dominates Eleazarâs work on âThe Science of the Soul,â but is of importance also for the âBook of the Devout.â According to this doctrine, every âlowerâ form of existence, including lifeless things,ââeven the wood blockâ to say nothing of even lower forms of life, has its archetype, demuth. In this conception we recognize the traits not only of Platoâs theory of ideas, but also of the astral theory of correspondence between higher and lower planes, and of the astrological doctrine that everything has its âstar.â The archetypes, as we have already seen in connection with the Hekhaloth tracts, are conceived as being pictorially represented in the curtain spread before the Throne of Glory. According to the Hasidim, this curtain consists of blue flame and surrounds the throne from all sides except from the west. The archetypes themselves represent a special sphere of non-corporeal, semi-divine existence. In another connection, mention is actually made of an occult âBook of Archetypes.â The archetypes is the deepest source of the soulâs hidden activity. The fate of every being is contained in its archetype, and there is even an archetypal representation of every change and passing made of its existence. Not only the angels and the demons draw their foreknowledge of human fate from these archetypes; the prophet, too, is able to perceive them and thus to read the future. Of Moses it is expressly said that God showed him the archetypes. There is a hint that even guilt and merit have their âsignsâ in the archetypes.
Gershom Scholem, Major Trends in Jewish Mysticism; Third Lecture: Hasidism in Mediaeval Germany
This âinnerâ glory now has its pendant in the âvisibleâ glory. While the first is formless, the second has various changing forms of which each change is subject to the will of God. It is this second glory which appears on the throne of the Merkabah or in the prophetic vision, and which forms the subject of the enormous spatial measurements in the Shiur Komah speculations regarding the âbody of the Shekhinah.â
Gershom Scholem, Major Trends in Jewish Mysticism; Third Lecture: Hasidism in Mediaeval Germany