#characterartwork

For Mkall (Reddit)

Commissions: Open

Innocent Manifestation

© 2025 szymon ryczek. All rights reserved.

(Grieving continues)

I felt the moment my parent passed away.

I was scared to leave their side the whole time, I was awake all night while they were still alive, waiting for their passing, but it came when I was away to move a bit and talk to the hospital staff who were so kind that they offered to bring in a matrass, so I can sleep next to my parent. I'll never forget the feeling how my stomach churned, how my mind silenced the world around me and screamed that I should be next to them in the room. This lingered only for a few moments, then disappeared. I believe this was the time when my parents finally reunited, 'cause soon a nurse came to tell us the bad news.

I couldn't believe that they were gone. I needed a comforting touch on my shoulder to start crying, and soon after I became numb for a few days with no motivation to do anything - and with a scary fascination of death. After that I had to start searching what comes next, so I had little to no time to just sit and let everything sink, life - careless as it is - went on as usual, which most likely made my anger burn much stronger. Feeling of unjust and envy tormented me, hate came in waves echoing intrusive thoughts I'm not proud of, and I kept asking why us.

For weeks I was forgetful, I was unable to stay focused and I just tried to survive. I had such an empty mind, and yet it felt extremely crowded at the same time. I wished to stay in bed, I didn't want to eat, talking to others was miserable, but the most difficult thing was traveling, seeing everyone else around me while I was in my own head, suffering in silence.

VGen is the place to go!