Hey former firelord Ozai, why did you keep disappearing from the palace when you were a prince? You don't seem like the type to go out for a walk. Were you running away from your daddy Azulon? Going out for drinks? Finding a courtesan? Looking at the horizon with malice? You can count on us, we won't tell your kids.
To my insistent correspondent,
How dare you presume to question me? I find myself wondering if you truly grasp the gravity of your insolence. I am the Phoenix King, the true Fire Lord, and the most powerful bender the world has ever known. I am the Scion of Sozin and Azulon, the head of the Great House that forged an empire.
Of course, in my current... circumstances, such titles seem to hold little weight for you. I only respond because, quite frankly, I have nothing better to occupy my time.
You ask why I was so frequently absent during my years as the second prince. What did you expect? I was scheming. When I wasn't orchestrating the removal of those who stood in my way, I was indulging in the common distractions of the flesh.
I had to be discreet, of course. I was watched like a hawk. Contrary to what the common folk believe, royals are strictly forbidden from keeping courtesans or mistresses unless they are brought formally into the palace. The Sages spout endless drivel about the âsanctity of the bloodlineâ and the âperil of bastardsâ. They fear a succession crisis where illegitimate whelps start civil wars over the throne.
I never had to worry about such things; I followed the rules. The last thing I wanted was a brood of common-born nuisances. Furthermore, no courtesan ever pleased me enough to make me consider a second marriage.
Well... perhaps there was one. She was entirely too ambitious and far too intelligent. Dangerous, that's what she was. Funnily enough, that very ambition has landed her in this same cage now. It has been quite pleasant to become reacquainted with her of recent.
My wife, by comparison, was a bore. I am not blind; I knew she didn't love me, and her lack of enthusiasm was tiresome. I suppose I simply wanted to experience someone who could at least pretend to find me desirable. However, most of my time away was spent on more productive matters: hiring assassins and thinning the herd of those who obstructed my path. Does that surprise you?
It is a lingering regret of mine that I didn't hire someone to dispose of Zuko years ago. It would have saved me a great deal of trouble. Perhaps Father would have even offered me his pity, a grieving father mourning the tragic loss of his firstborn son. It would have been a masterful stroke of estate planningâwhat I believe the commoners now call âinheritance assuranceâ. I needed people out of my way, including a certain nephew of mine, several meddlesome in-laws, and various maids who knew too much.
Sometimes, I simply needed to vent my rage. Other times, I was busy building the network within the court that would eventually support my ascension. I was ensuring that while Iroh held father's favour, I held the power.
In hindsight, I could have saved myself significant effort if I had managed to convince Ursa to join my endeavours earlier. It is a pity she lacked any real ambition; had she been power-hungry, we would have escaped the miserable position of spare and consort much sooner.
But that is mere wishful thinking. Tell me, are you disappointed? Do you wish it were more sordid? Perhaps less?
I hope my response was satisfactory. Do write again; I find I enjoy the stimulation, even if the source is somewhat underwhelming.
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As you are a guy who never or rarely sleeps, I would love to know your morning routine. Do you have one or just accept the fate that itâs morning and carry on?
- <3 a concerned ânormalâ fan
Hello dear Bridgeoverstrawberryfields,
Firstly, I am delighted to have a "Normal" fan. Usually I am a firm believer in the notion that no one is normal, but I understand that you are saying it with the intention of distinguishing yourself from "fans" I've had in the past. The declaration is much appreaciated. Especially considering that you are asking about my routine. Which, as you probably know, being a fan of mine: showing interest in another person's routine can be associated with stalking. But you seem genuinely interested and concerned for my well being, so I will reassure you that I am doing well.
You seem concerned that I am not getting enough sleep and I can understand why you may think that. As you may know, my sleep is heavily affected when I experience high levels of stress and emotional distress. Even on a good day I would never call myself a morning person, but the type of insomnia I experience (Acute Maintenance Insomnia, if you like specifics,) means I don't find much relief in staying asleep longer. Sometimes I'd rather face the day.
But I am happy to report I do experience that less of late. It is actually rare that I don't sleep. I prioritise it, because of my predispositions to certain neurological conditions. Repeat lack of sleep puts me at a higher risk of developing these. But also sleep is essential for brain function, and I in particular, need my brain to be at its best. Believe it or not, studies have shown it is actually just as bad to drive drunk as it is to drive tired. Not that you should do either. I am just using that to support my point, that it is important to me. I am dedicated to my sleep hygiene and I try my best to get the recommend 8 to 7 hours. But this was not always the case.
Also to add to that, I really prefer to stick to routines. I actually admire people who can just be spontaneous with their mornings and can adapt to each day as it comes. But for me, trying to keep things consistent feels more comfortable. With my job back at the BAU sometimes I couldn't stick to my routine, or now, sometimes I just have off days. These are days that as you so eloquently put, I have to accept fate that's is morning and carry on, incorporating as many elements of my ideal morning routine as I can.
So without further preamble, here is my 'ideal' Morning routine:
Wake up before 7 am, preferably (more like rarely,) at 6:00 am, but I will admit this is harder to do in winter.
Light stretch, this has been proven to help wake up the body, but also help the brain to forget any bad dreams had during the night by engaging it in movement rather than retention and filing of memory
I like to get changed into clothes before breakfast. Again, the change of clothes further helps the brain by signalling that sleep is over because the sleep clothes are off and the day wear clothes are on. Also this is when I put on my socks. I choose them randomly. I think of my socks draw as a daily lucky dip.
I brew my coffee. I did go through a stage of trying to limit my caffeine intake and drink herbal teas, but benefits of not having caffeine were outweighed by the discomfort and utter misery not having a morning cup. And actually there's plenty of benefits to having 1 or 2 cups a day. Sometimes I do have tea, but only if Garcia makes it. I don't know, what she does that I don't, but I can certainly taste it.
I make a light breakfast, this is usually toast or a plain cereal. I'm not much of a breakfast person unless I am eating out with friends, ( I will have pancakes if that's the case.)
I also grab a glass of water to have along with my breakfast and coffee. This keeps me hydrated (because I forget to drink water, a lot.) and helps me take my vitamins as well.
I take supplements proven to be beneficial to people like me. I take magnesium, vitamin B12, vitamin D3, Omega 3, Vitamin C, Echenasia and probiotics (which I know I could get naturally but I hate the mouth feel of yoghurt )
With my coffee, breakfast, water and supplements, I will sit at the table and eat while reading about 4 physical newspapers and then I try to complete the crosswords. People think I'm good at them, but I'm actually not too proficient at it. Although I most likely know the answers in my vocabulary, it takes me a while to get my head around the wording of the clues, they are often quite vague, so I like the challenge.
Afterwards, I wash up and then go back to my room and make my bed then brush my teeth. I use this time as a sort of quiet reflection and run though what I've got to do that day. This is also when I look in the mirror and decide whether or not I should attempt to style my hair. These days I am usually happy how it is.
Before I leave for the day, I do last minute errands like check my fridge and shopping list, if it is an even day, I will water my plants that Garcia gifted me. If it is the end of the week, I will check that the automatic feeder for my fish tank is full so my tetras won't be left to starve if I get called away suddenly.
So there you go, very mundane. But I find being able to do this provides me with a sense of order and domesticity to my life that I didn't always get to enjoy.
Sorry for that being super long but if we are honest Spencer would absolutely write a response this long. As I was writing, he just kept wanting to say more. I let him cook.
Send an ask (anon or not) and pray that tumblr doesnât eat it with a question aimed at a character from one of my fics. Remember to specify which character and from which fic.
Today (Wednesday, October 18th) until Sunday evening (October 22nd) is meant for the female characters: like Helga, Hildur, Ylva, Fredrika, Elin, Adina etc. Next week it's the mens' turn.
With the leak of the upcoming movie, I remembered, what's Kiyoi's situation in Lok? Dead or alive? If she's alive, is she doing something like Katara or is she just enjoying her retirement with Zuko?
If answering this would be a spoiler for something you're planning (short, epilogue,...) just ignore me.
(Furthermore, tell Zuko that I won't say anything, I just wanted to scare him and be kinda evil đ¤, and that I was talking about other concept of sexualityđłď¸âđ)
As the author of this I am going to answer you question about LOK era under the cut I have passed on your message to Zuko below, because it was actually me who misunderstood your question before because "Sexuality" as a word encompasses a lot of different meanings, and I am Acespec đ° so I don't always pick up on the nuances cause I am disconnected from it in a way most people aren't. Anyway this whole exchange prompted me to write an essay, cause I miss academia. It will be up soon and I have written it with readers and Atla fic writers who want to write a story in the post war Fire Nation in mind. I want to provide a historical summary of the Fire Nation's cultural situation to those who are not caught up on the â¨Lore⨠from the books/comics because it explains not only what Zuko says about sexuality but the political side of what is happening in the Court Zuko's dealing with. Anyway here you go:
Anonymous,
personally don't find people being "a little evil" very humorous when it concerns the privacy and safety of the woman I love because I deal with plenty of fully evil people on the regular. However, since you have given your word to remain silent, I suppose I can lower my guardâslightly.
As for your other point... I believe I understand what you were implying now. You must realise that the Fire Nation you see today is still under the shadows of my great-grandfatherâs decrees. Sozin did more than just start a war; he tightened the noose around our private lives to ensure every union served his front lines. He wanted soldiers, heirs and subjects, not love and a people to protect.
While I have struck his "morality" laws from our legislature ensuring no one can be legally punished for who they love, changing a law is far easier than changing a mindset. There are still those in the Courts who cling to their lineage like a shield, terrified that acknowledging different kinds of love will somehow dismantle their "noble" inheritance. It is... frustrating that passing an amendment to allow people to marry who ever they wish has been so contested. To them, change is a threat, not progress.
Kiyoi and I are working to bring back the old ways, where a personâs worth is measured by their mind and heart, not their bloodline or who they choose to marry. But until then, sexuality remains a private matter for many here, kept behind closed doors or within specific circles. It is not for lack of existence, (again the marketplace has some truly explorational pieces on offer) but a lingering caution from a century of being told our hearts were assets for the "Glory of our Nation."
I am focused on making a Nation where no one has to hide, though I am learning every day that change is agonizingly slow. While my own heart may not be drawn to men, I love a woman who my ancestors would have deeply disapproved ofâa woman those old cactus-suckers in court still look upon with contempt. I love her all the more for the strength it takes for her to simply exist in their presence.
I hope to lead by example. I want to build a world where Kiyoi sees that we don't have to stay in the shadowsâwhere our union isn't just a private comfort, but a light that forces this Nation to confront its own prejudices. If the court wishes to stay in my favour, they will have to learn to respect the woman who stands beside me and in turn, others who differ from them. One day, I hope our relationship will be the guide that leads the Fire Nation forward into a much brighter future.
-Zuko
To the Author:
Now for those who like to pretend LOK doesn't exist and you are a fan of Kiyoi, under that cut is not for you... trust me. For those asking about the Legend of Korra era, here is the official word on Kiyoiâs fate. I should warn youâas the author, I can be a bit 'evil' when it comes to the drama, but I promise thereâs a reason for the heartache.
I warned you, okay? You chose to read this.
I am sorry to say that by the time The Legend of Korra begins, Kiyoi has passed away.
And honestly? It started because Iâm a little bit evil.
So... Kiyoi doesn't like beards. She tells Zuko it's cause it hides too much of his beautiful face, which is true. (She will never tell him the other reason she doesn't like a beard on him) So there was this headcanon I had early on while writing that when Kiyoi says she doesn't like the beard Zuko is growing out, Kiyoi jokingly tells him, "You can grow one when Iâm dead." And he, not too attached to his burgeoning goatee, shaves it off.
Then I later remembered that old Zuko in Korra, is rocking that magnificent white beard, and the 'evil' author part of my brain immediately realised: Oh no, that means sheâs gone.
She didn't go quietly, though. In my mind, Kiyoi died exactly when Sokka did. When the Red Lotus made their first attempt to kidnap Korra, it was Zuko and Sokka leading the defence. But letâs be realisticâtwo 70-year-old men against three world-class benders in their prime and a non-bender like Zaheer, was a losing game. It made sense to me that other people or members of the White Lotus would have died in that attack. So it makes sense that Kiyoi, with her unique blend of waterbending and combat skills, would have been right there in the thick of it. She went down fighting alongside her best friend to protect the new Avatar.
I feel like this chain of events also lends itself to making Zuko's early abdication make more sense. Devastated by the loss of both his wife and his brother-in-arms, Zuko decided it was time to abdicate. He left the throne to Izumi and chose to pursue a life of peace as an ambassador, finally growing that beard as a silent, grieving tribute to the woman he spent his life with.
I won't leave you with all tragedy though! I do have some headcanons for Old lady Kiyoi. Before her passing, Kiyoi was a force of nature in the developing world:
While many masters of her generation looked down on Pro-bending as 'thuggish,' or 'undisciplined,' Kiyoi loved it. As a mixed martial artist herself, she saw it as a beautiful evolution of bending and a tool for international unity. She was a huge patron of the sport, specifically sponsoring womenâs teams and never missing a match.
She absolutely adored the invention of the radio. Being able to hear the play-by-play of matches and the expansion of recorded music via the gramophone was a source of constant wonder for her.
But she is an old lady, she does have her gripes with technology. If thereâs one invention she hated in a true 'old lady' fashion, it was the automobile. She saw car racing as a direct threat to the appreciation of Eelhounds and other noble steeds. As a master rider, she worried that if cars replaced mounts, the specialised knowledge required to breed and care for Eelhounds, an already rare beast in the wild, would vanish, leading to the extinction of the animals she loved.
As for family, Kiyoi and Izumi shared a deep bond, but they didn't always see eye-to-eye. Izumi is a staunch pacifist, whereas Kiyoiâhaving lived through the end of the Hundred Year War and the brutal reform of the Fire Nationâviewed pure pacifism as a dangerous, unrealistic ideal for a world leader. However, she grew to accept that perhaps Izumiâs gentleness was the heart of a leader to keep the peace she and Zuko had worked so hard to build.
She and Iroh II were incredibly close. She spoilt him rotten as a child. Iroh joined the United Forces (the very peace keeping corps his grandmother helped found) as a way to honour her memory and pacify his mother by not joining an outright military force like the Fire Navy or Guard. Kiyoi's death when he was around 10-12 y.o hit him hard, and he carries her pragmatic, disciplined spirit with him every time heâs on the bridge of a ship.
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A master of all the Character Mail and Author questions you've sent in
Ozai: 1. What were you up to? | 2. What are your preferences?
Ty Ro Sei'Naka: How Could you? | 1. The Wrong Recipient | 2. An Unfair Accusation |
Riza Szeto: 1. Your Choice of Suitors | 2.Queen Maker |
Zuko: 1. What if? | 2. Intercepted Message | 1. Would you still be Bros? | 2. Is Mr. Ben Kuzo an exception? | 3. Matters of Security | 4. Matters of Sexuality | Would you change your last name?
Kiyoi: The Matter of Zuko's Hair |
Questions for Moi, Ty- the author: the wrong recipient saga: part 1 | part 2 | Legend of Korra Era Headcanons for Kiyoi | Do Evil People Deserve each other?
The numbers in front indicate they follow on from and are related to the the previous letters.
Hey Zuko, so remember when you found that book and were trying to comfort Kiyoi while thinking '...but I'm with Mai'? So, If Kiyoi had confessed right then and there, what would you have done? Rejected kiyoi? Ended things immediately with Mai, when she is sleeping in YOUR room? Cheated on her?
Hello Anon, Zuko here,
You ask a question that rests entirely on a what if which is always hard to answer. Its a little accusatory, but I respect that, I assume you must be a friend of Kiyoi's to be so protective over her? Youâve got guts I can respect that. You don't posture and mince words, it's reffreshing.
To be honest, your question is difficult to address because it ignores the very nature of who Kiyoi is. She is reserved, pragmatic, and above all, deeply aware of those around her. She knewâeven thenâthat a confession would not have been received in the way she might have hoped. She would've never put me, or herself, in such a compromising position. It isn't in her character to be reckless with her heart or honour.
However, since you insist on an answer, I will be as honest as I can.
If Kiyoi had confessed her feelings to me in that moment, I believe I would have told her the truth: that I returned those feelings. I could not have lied to her. But I also would have told her that I could not be with herânot right then. It would not have been right, and knowing Kiyoi, she would have been the first to agree with me. We both value doing what is honourable; starting something while my life was already entangled with anotherâs would have been the opposite of that.
As for Mai, the situation would have been⌠complicated. At the time, she was staying in my quarters, but I feel the same way now as I did then: staying there with her would not have been appropriate.
Kiyoi was truly alone during those months, and I would never have wanted to leave her in such a vulnerable stateâespecially if she had confessed her feelings only for me to turn her down. I did not yet have the Kyoshi Warriors as my guards. Had they been there, I would have sent Suki to be with Kiyoi as a trusted friend. With no other options available and no knowledge at the time of what Riza was truly like, I likely would have sent for her aunt to support her. Now I know that would have been a disaster, but I am answering honestly, and that is what I would have done. I could not bear the thought of her being entirely by herself while she was so upset.
Then, I would have had to face a very difficult conversation with Mai. I would have had to admit that I was no longer sure of my feelings. Before that hypothetical confession, I was only so sure of my path because I was convinced Kiyoi did not feel the same way about me. To find out otherwise would have changed everything.
I want to be very clear about one thing: I would never have cheated on Mai. To purposely lead two people on at once is completely dishonourable, and I will not have my character questioned in that matter. I would have admitted the truth to Mai and asked if our relationship was something that could surviveâif we could get through the fact that I had feelings for my closest friend and that she returned them.
Knowing Mai, she probably would have ended things then and there. At the time, I suppose I would have tried to hold on, perhaps because I was being stupid, or perhaps because Mai felt "safe" and reassuring during a time when everything else in my life was in chaos.
Even if Kiyoi and I had found a way to be together earlier, I doubt it would have changed our immediate future. Kiyoiâs sense of duty is as strong as my own; she still would have left with the United Forces, and I still would not have seen her for a year. Attempting to start a relationship in the midst of such a mess would have been dishonourable and, frankly, far too messy for either of us to handle.
It would have been nice to find our way to each other sooner, but it had to be done the right way. Honour demands nothing less. And Kiyoi desevers better.
Greetings, my Phoenix king, today I humbly ask for your knowledge and opinion.
Your previous correspondence led me to ask, what would your ideal spouse/consort/parent of your kids be like? (And I mean a spouse with autonomy/personality and not just the vague "someone who always agrees with me")
Furthermore, I've heard a rumor about you over time. Some say that the reason Zhao, the man responsible for killing the moon and attacking the northern tribe, was able to rise through the ranks so quickly was due to a secret sexual relationship with YOU. I'm curious about your side of the story.
I am sending tea with this letter, but I don't know if the guards will allow the delivery of drinks to prisoners, but i I swear there's no poison in it.
Your obedient servant, Anon.
PS: I thought you'd be angrier that I called Azulon "daddy" than that I called you ex-firelord.
To my correspondent,
I appreciate the title. "Ask", however, is a generous word for this. You do not ask for my knowledge or opinion; you ask to mock me. But I suppose I have nothing better to do than to answer.
You say my previous correspondence invoked a certain curiosity regarding my preferences in a spouse, a consort, and a parent? Why? Do you seek to become one? To begin, those three roles are vastly different.
An ideal spouse? None. Consorts? As many as I desire.
If I must define an ideal, I prefer a woman I can hold on toânot some waif. I like to possess pretty things. I prefer strong ones that have a bit of fire; that is always interesting to play with. I like them to have large assetsâthings I can find purchase on, things I can leave marks on. Some might say I have a certain affinity for the relatives of past Avatars. Perhaps it's true, I'm yet to lay eyes on one I haven't liked the look of.
I do not believe I have been vague in my previous messages: I prefer someone who is entirely mine. Entirely for me. I deserve that much, do I not? Autonomy and personality are simply not that important to me. I suppose I crave an eager woman, but those are rare. I shall settle for a woman who has to be convinced of my generosity.
Parenthood is a completely different matter. Preferably, a mother's involvement would consist of nothing more than pushing out an heir. Letting them have influence is what went wrong with my current situation. Had I been the sole influence, the outcome would have been far more pleasantâfor myself and for them, I imagine. It is their motherâs weakness that is in them, not mine.
As for the rumourâI have no idea where you heard it. I will not entertain you with "my side of the story", as there is no side to tell. I do not even know who this man is. Do you know how many admirals, generals, captains, lieutenants, sages, and councillor's names I have to try and remember? Forgive me if I have forgotten someone, but I can say that that rumour is false. I do not usually have an attraction to men, women tend to have the right kind of shapes that catch my eye and are easier to manage.
I did receive your tea, but it was cold by the time it got to me. I found it quite an insult to be given a tea I could not heat myself. If that was a move in this little game we are playing, then well played.
Please, try harder to provoke me than to invoke my fatherâs name. I care nothing for that skeletal shell of a man. He cared not for me; I care not for him. If anything is offensive about using the word "daddy" for him, it is that he was not a father at all. At least I tried to pretend with my children. I suppose he had given up on trying by the time I came around.
Next time, instead of tea, send me news. How is my son faring? Not well, I hope. And how is his Advisor? I miss her. I wish she would visit me again. My eyes are tired of looking at cell walls; her visage would be a sweet relief and fond fuel for my hours of reminiscing here.
