#chapter 20

You wouldn’t have even thought that you’d be recklessly driving through the streets of Hawkins when you first got here either. You could barely function inside a car back then because of your trauma, but here you are pressing the gas pedal as far as it goes, swerving past slow cars, and drifting into different streets only hoping you’ll be able to make it to the Wheelers’ house in time to save them from the surprise demogorgon attack.

“Nancy, what’s your location? Over,” you hear Mike yelling through Nancy’s walkie.

“Pickett,” she says back. “Five minutes away.”

“You’re way ahead of us. Radio as soon as you're there!”

“I will,” she says in a rather collected manner that you have to admire, and if she weren’t beside you, you would have thought she looked just as collected, but as she sits in the passenger seat you notice that she carries the fear in her eyes and the way she’s so unusually fidgety.

“And Nancy,” Mike comes in. “Be careful.”

And with that, the conversation ends, suddenly, just like how Mike started the conversation now, and when he first radioed in after Robin broke the news to him and Lucas about what was happening.

Steve had also already tried to reach you, but that conversation was once, brief, and through Nancy because you’re driving. He knew what Robin told him, and that you’d reach out to him and Jonathan later. It was probably torture for Steve, especially because he had to wait at the side of the street for someone to pass by and revive the van's sudden dead battery, but alas, that’s the best you can do for now.

“Hold on,” you warn Eleven and Nancy before you press the brake and drift the car again to make another sharp turn.

It’s not the last reckless turn you make, you make a couple more, earning no complaints just feeling more worry.

“We’ll get there,” you try to assure Nancy as best as you can. “Just hang on and be ready.”

Nancy doesn’t say anything, she keeps looking ahead with the same fear in her eyes. If you could drive faster you would, but you’re driving as fast as the car can take you.

Luckily, you reach the Wheeler house in less than five minutes because of how fast you were driving, and whether it’s good seeing all the lights in the house still flickering, you’ll soon find out.

“It’s inside,” Eleven points out.

“I see it,” Nancy mutters.

“Get ready,” you add before you turn into the driveway, noticing Nancy and hearing Eleven already yanking off their seatbelt before you come to a stop.

You don’t take your time once you park the car either, you yank off your seatbelt and basically throw the door open before you climb out of the car with your weapons and follow Nancy and Eleven inside the house, hearing an uncomfortable silence.

Shouldn’t there be screams and cries of terror? Up until this point, the Wheelers have been in the dark about demogorgons and the Upside Down. It leads you to believe that you didn’t arrive in time, but that’s only for a split second before you soon see why it’s so quiet.

The demogorgon appears to be gone, leaving behind the grotesque sight of Mrs Wheeler in the kitchen in a pool of her own blood with gashes across her torso and her throat.

It’s horrifying and it makes your heart drop, but you didn’t know Mrs Wheeler and she wasn’t your mother, so you’re able to snap out of your shock to hand Eleven your weapons before you run over to her while Nancy remains frozen in disbelief in the living room.

You didn’t even know if Mrs Wheeler was alive, but you acted for Nancy because you came to help her, because she was processing what she walked into, because she was scared and in disbelief, and because you know the pain of losing a mother.

Albeit, luckily for her, it’s a grief she wouldn’t know because once you fall on your knees by Mrs Wheeler you see her chest moving and her eyes slowly finding you.

“It’s okay, you’re going to be,” you whisper to her as you immediately press your hands against her bleeding gash. “Nancy,” you call out and snap your head around to look at her. “She’s breathing.”

Said girl snaps out of her paralyzing shock and comes rushing to her mom's side with Eleven right behind her. Once Nancy puts her gun down she falls by her mom's side in despair.

“Mom!” You hear her cry while you look over at your sister crouching by Mrs Wheeler.

“El, I need you to take your jacket off and press it against the gashes on her torso, okay?”

Said girl nods in comprehension and does as you said whilst Nancy also acts quickly and slips off her denim jacket to replace your hands with her jacket.

“Don’t try to talk, okay?” Nancy tells her mother as she seems to be straining herself. “Just stay calm, okay? You’re gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine, okay? You’re gonna be fine.”

“Holly,” her mom says nonetheless, making you remember that there were others in the house besides her.

And as if in response to her name, you hear a distant cry, causing you all to turn your heads towards the noise and spot a small gate already closing on the front door.

“Go. Go, go, go, go! Go!” Nancy tells Eleven, making her get up fast and get into action.

Letting her go alone wasn’t even something you thought of, so you pick up your weapons Eleven had left on the floor, and trail after her, but as she walks in the gate she blocks your way.

“No, stay, I can do this alone,” she argues, making your face twist with disbelief.

“No, I won’t let you—”

“I need you to trust that I can do this alone, besides Hop is still here, I’ll find him too and we’ll do this together. You stay here with the others.”

“El—”

“Please,” she says as the gate gets smaller. “Trust me. I can do it.”

Oh, that’s your weak spot.

Damn it.

“Fine,” you give in reluctantly. “But you find dad. Smack him if he gets too overbearing I don’t care. You find him and don’t be too reckless. Got it?”

Eleven offers you a thankful smile and nods.

“Be careful,” you add softly. “Try to conserve your energy and…I love you.”

Her smile turns shy but she doesn’t fail to respond. “I love you too.”

You swallow thickly and offer her one last nod before you step back and watch her turn to chase after Holly and the demogorgon. Once the gate blocks the sight of her you turn away and return your attention to Nancy and her mother to call 911 and then go search for her dad for her.

Unlike her mother, her unconscious dad doesn’t have as many wounds. There’s gashes on his stomach but nowhere else besides that. Her poor mother though. It’s a miracle she’s alive, in fact, it’s a miracle that any of them are alive. They aren’t out of danger yet, but they’re alive. Nancy has to cling to that. You’ll tell her.

You haven’t made much of an improvement with Nancy in the past year. It’s just kind of awkward. She has been supportive of you volunteering for the military and working with Doctor Kay, but other than that nothing else has happened. However, this can’t be something that you let her deal with on her own because it might feel weird. Especially not now when she needs someone the most.

Mike eventually arrives at the house along with Lucas, but Nancy and Mike are both in despair and afraid, and well, everything happens in a flash because once Mike and Lucas arrive at the house, the ambulance arrives only seconds later and the EMT’s are quick to act, making it hard for Nancy and Mike to get a word in before they're broken apart so she can ride with her mom while you drive with the boys to the hospital in Nancy’s car.

Even when they get to the hospital they don’t console each other. Which is weird…but alas, who are you to judge? Besides, they're in distress.

Either way, you can’t sit by and let her feel alone. Your mother might’ve died, and her mother is in surgery which is completely different, but what helped you the most even if you didn’t tell anyone, was knowing people were there for you, so you’re going to do the same for her.

Thus, after they take Nancy’s parents into surgery and after you wash the blood off your hands, you wait for her outside the bathroom.

She does take a while and it’s concerning, but when you least expect it, the door swings open and out she comes in her pink outfit still caked in her mom's blood.

“Nancy,” you surprise her and push yourself away from the wall to stand across from her with a sympathetic look on your face which might be the last thing she needs, but you don’t back down. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you must feel, but,” you exhale deeply as her surprise falls and she looks at you with curiosity and anguish. “I just want to tell you that even though you don’t know what their outcome might be right now, you have to hold onto the fact that they’re alive and fighting for their life. You made it in time to help them.”

“But not in enough time to spare them from what happened,” she interjects with anger seeping through.

“No.” You shake your head. “But you reached them nonetheless and were able to save them. They’re alive and El is going after your sister. It’s important that you remember that.”

Nancy doesn’t seem to want to take that advice, but she still nods in comprehension nonetheless, letting you add something that seems to spark something in her.

“And when it comes time to go after Vecna, or whoever was behind what happened to your family, I’m with you. 100 percent. You can count me, not only because I owe you for supporting my choice to volunteer for the military, but because I want to help you too.”

She scoffs. “That simple,” she musters lightheartedly, making you offer her a small smile and a soft nod before you do the unexpected and embrace her.

You told her everything you needed to say so the embrace is blanketed in silence and for a moment it is awkward since she didn’t expect it, but when she hugs you back there’s a sense of comfort and the feeling of the last ounce of tension washing away, letting something new flourish between you.

Something that doesn’t completely explode. It’s slow, nice, and just what the both of you needed.

“Come on,” you tell her when you pull away. “Let’s go sit down and wait for the updates.”

Nancy leads the way to the waiting area where the boys are, but instead of taking a seat next to Mike, you hover behind the sitting area.

“I’m going to update Steve,” you let them know with a tight-lipped smile. “I’ll be right back.”

There’s no objections so you turn on your heels and put a little distance between you and the others, making sure not to wander far, just enough to have some privacy.

“Steve, are you there?” You speak through the radio and stand still to wait.

Seconds pass before you hear his voice. “Hey, yeah I’m here.”

Even though he hadn’t been doing anything dangerous, you still let out a deep relieved breath before you respond. “Okay, let’s switch channels, let me know when you’re there.”

“Okay, got it.”

And with that, you switch channels to one that the both of you tend to use when you’re apart from each other and want to talk without having everyone else listen in. Which isn’t frequently considering the state of things.

“Okay, I’m here!” Steve lets you know. “Where are you? Are you okay? What happened?”

You can’t help but smile at the sound of his concern before you ease his worried heart. “I’m okay. We’re all okay, I mean Nancy’s parents aren’t, but they’ve been taken to surgery…The Demogorgon was gone by the time we got to the Wheelers’,” you let him know and give him the space to respond.

“Shit,” he whispers in response as he most likely rubs his chin. Too bad you can’t see.

“Yeah,” you whisper back and glance over at the quiet group. “The demogorgon actually took Holly into the Upside Down too, but luckily the gate was still open so Eleven was able to follow its trail. She’s there now.”

Seconds pass this time compared to moments ago, when a couple of minutes passed before he responded with his thoughts. “And you didn’t follow?” He asks, and you catch the curiosity and surprise in his voice.

“No, she didn’t want me to. My dad is down there so I’m not that worried,” you say one of the many excuses you’ve been telling yourself after you let her go alone.

“Hm,” is all he says through the walkie so you turn and walk back to the wall to lean against it as you wait.

“I mean,” he comes in saying. “That’s good, considering…” he trails off and doesn’t intend to fill the silence. Nor does he have to, you know he’s referring to that little ball of inconvenience.

“Where are you?” You ask before you say more.

“I walked away from the van. Jonathan shouldn’t hear us unless he’s being nosy.”

“He isn’t,” you defend your friend. “He’s not Dustin or Robin.” You manage a lighthearted joke that Steve scoffs at with amusement before he goes quiet and leaves you waiting again, but only for a minute.

“Look, about how I responded before,” he piques all your attention, making you tune out the rest of the world. “I’m sorry,” he says with audible regret and shame in his voice. “I-I was…I was an ass. I was just upset and I…I’m sorry.”

You nod as you don’t even hesitate accepting his apology because you weren't mad. Just sad and scared.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him sweetly before you sigh deeply and speak your mind. “But Steve, it wasn’t easy for me either. You can’t…respond like that. We can’t. It’s not easy, but this can’t be how we respond. We talk,” you stress, most likely making him respond with a deep sigh before he talks through the walkie.

“I know,” he says, full of guilt. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You let out a shaky breath before you assure him again. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

He nods. You know he nods with relief. You can picture him with his hand on his hip and his shoulders holding less tension on them now.

“But Steve,” you add. “Can we please not tell anyone? I mean we’re going to tell them eventually, but just not now. It’s not the right time, besides, once they find out they’ll treat me differently and that’s the last thing I want. I already feel like,” you pause and sigh. “Like a burden. I can’t have them treat me like one.”

There’s a moment of silence. Of indifference before he responds with reassurance. “But you’re not. You’re far from it, do you understand that? We…weren’t careful that’s all, but this is not a burden. A surprise sure, but you’re not a burden. You just need to be more careful. That’s all.”

“But Steve, that’s it,” you argue. “I don’t want to take it slow and risk something happening because of me…because of this.”

Again. Silence.

“Do you get that?” You press and glance over at the group you’re with before you look at the floor and wait.

“Yeah,” he says a few moments later.

“I need you to trust that I’ll be okay, that I’ll do okay. That’s all I'm asking from you. Please.”

He’s frustrated, you can sense it, but for now, he gives you the benefit of the doubt. “Okay, so is that what we’re going to do? Not talk about it?”

You swallow thickly before you nod. “For now, I mean what can we do?” You ask and give him a moment to respond, hoping for some comfort without asking outright.

“Leave,” he suggests again, but this time he’s not whispering. He almost sounds certain. “This-this has to be a special case, right? And it’s not like anyone else will blame us. We can leave.”

You rebut right away without hesitation because it’s something you won’t even consider. “No, we’re not leaving, we’re just,” you answer your own question. “…Not worrying about that right now, okay? Let’s focus on what’s happening now.”

You let go of the button and let him respond.

When he does he makes sure you hear his scoff before he sasses you. “That is happening now.”

You roll your eyes and counter patiently because it's something you do now. Respond with less annoyance.

It's a work in progress.

“No, I mean it is, but no. My dad and El are in the Upside Down and for some reason that Demogorgon took Holly. We worry about that, okay?”

There’s that silence again, but he doesn’t argue when he talks back. “Okay,” he says with uncertainty before he laughs quite dryly and then continues sweetly. “Surprise, secret, she’s going to be confused.”

Your eyebrows knit together and he keeps going.

“How is she faring anyway?”

You have an inkling of how he might be referring to, but you can never be sure with him. He can be unpredictable, so you probe with a little smile already tugging on your lips. "Who?"

The walkie falls silent as you wait for only a couple of seconds before he makes himself clear with a sassy tone. "Little Harrington, of course."

You glance over at the party you came with to make sure they aren't being nosy and luckily, they're far in their own minds to care.

"Oh, so it's a girl?" You can't help but get carried away despite your own decision to not get attached.

"Yeah, of course. It's uh, an instinct."

You snort and slide down the wall to hover over the dirty floor. "No, babe, I don't think it works like that. It's actually mother's instinct. And it's not instinct, it's intuition. Mothers' intuition."

Even if you're talking through a walkie and miles away, you can see his eyebrows pinch together and the corner of his mouth twitch before he sasses you. "Well, who made her? Me."

You roll your eyes and as if he were here he quickly follows up with a quip. “Don't roll your eyes. I'm not joking. I got this feeling."

You can't help but giggle before your face and voice soften. "She's too little to read, but I think she's faring fine," you pause and sigh deeply as you put up those walls again.

“I’m sorry,” he says suddenly. “Right now we shouldn’t be worrying about this. We should be at the beach or you should be worrying about college, but,” he clicks his tongue. “We’re here.”

“Baby,” you coo. “It’s not your fault and I like to think that we’ll have time, we’re just going to have a late start, hm? So I’ll hold you to that beach idea.” You laugh and make sure he hears it before you let him respond.

“I love you,” he muses, making your eyes water. It’s sudden, but they water and your voice cracks when you question him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he says softly. “You say the word and I’m there. Screw this. I’ll walk there if I have to.”

You laugh softly. “No, no, once you get the van started again try to find my dad. Please.”

Steve sighs through the walkie, but he agrees. “Fine.”

You smile and start finishing up the conversation. “I love you. Be careful and be nice.”

“Again with that? I always am. I’m charming.”

You scoff and nod before you giggle. “Okay, well, that’s not what I hear, but if you say so just ignore me. Bye, I’ll talk to you soon, or see you at the radio station, okay?”

“Wait, who said what? I charm you, don’t I?

“Yeah, because you love me and it’s not about being charming with me. It’s about you and someone else that I heard about. Bye, lover!”

“Wait! Tell me who said something.”

You snort. “Bye!”

Steve grumbles. “It’s Robin isn’t it? I swear to god…whatever…Bye,” he huffs. “If anything happens let me know! I love you too.”

You push yourself to your given height as you choose to leave the conversation like that unless you want to prolong it longer than you should. You then return to the waiting area where it’s quiet, tense, and Nancy is as restless as she was in the car. And who wouldn’t be? But the fidgeting makes you anxious right away even though they’re not your parents!

Thus, you pace with your cheek in between your teeth until Nancy’s restlessness gets the best of her and she sits forward and speaks gloomily. “This is our fault.”

You come to a stop and look over at her.

“This is all our fault,” she adds as she shakes her head.

“We got there as fast as we could,” Mike tries to reassure his sister.

“I’m not talking about tonight,” she clarifies, making you blink. “We could have acted yesterday, last week, last fall,” she says with the frustration rising in her voice. “We could’ve tried to get them out of Hawkins, or…or at least told them the truth. We could have done something, anything,” she exclaims as she gets up from her seat.

“We couldn’t have known, Nancy. We couldn’t have known any of this would happen,” Mike argues.

“Do you really believe that?” She rebuts, making him scoff before he argues.

“After all this time, it comes for Holly? Holly who has nothing to do with any of this. I mean it makes no goddamn sense.”

Mike is right. If Vecna wanted to hurt them, he would’ve done it long ago. Why now?

“It makes perfect goddamn sense,” Nancy counters. “Vecna told me this would happen. He showed me. And not just the four gates. Holly, mom, dad dead. And we just…we just chose not to believe him,” she says and licks her lips. “But now it’s all coming true. Like, don’t you get it, Mike? Vecna’s come back to realize his vision, to punish us. He did it with Fred and Chrissy and Max, and now it’s our turn. And he’s not gonna stop. He’s not gonna stop until we’re drained of every last ounce of suffering.”

You drop your head and almost agree with her. You’re almost consumed by her rage until Lucas speaks up as the voice of reason.

“I’m not so sure this was about punishment,” Lucas says. “Vecna doesn’t leave things unfinished. He doesn’t hold back. Because if this was really about making you guys suffer, why leave your parents alive? I mean with you,” Lucas points at you. “He keeps you alive and torments you because he knows it hurts Eleven and makes her mad, but with the others? Why take Holly into the Upside Down and not leave her body here for you to find? Why not come here himself? Why send one of his…his pets?”

“That’s right,” you say with admiration to his reason and walk out of that cloud of anger that Nancy had almost blinded you with. “I mean why now and not before? It’s almost been two years since he gave you that vision, Nancy.”

“Wh-what are you saying? It’s not Vecna?”

“What I’m saying is I don’t know and neither do you,” Lucas says. “There are just too many questions right now. I…I just know I’m having serious Deja Vu, because this is exactly what happened to Will at almost exactly the same time.”

Your eyes widen with realization and once again you look at him with admiration.

“You know what day it is, right?” Lucas adds in the silence. “November 3rd. Will was taken on the 6th. We are less than three days away. Three days away from the day that changed everything. I don’t know about you guys, but…I don’t believe in coincidences. Not anymore. But we got Will back. And we’re going to get Holly back, ‘cause she’s not alone. Eleven’s in there with her. And if anybody can save your sister,” he directs at Mike so he finishes the sentence for him.

“It’s El.”

Lucas nods. “It’s El.”

“That’s exactly right,” you chime in now. “We have to wait before we think of acting. We might not know much and that’s stressful, but Steve and Jonathan are going to get the van back up, and Robin most likely already got the fuse box working, so we’ll find my dad soon, and if he’s not already with El by then we will tell him to find her. It’s not like before. El knows what she’s doing and so do we, so we wait,” you press. “And then we act. All of us,” you assure Nancy, making her eyes flutter before she exhales deeply and nods.

You pass her an assuring nod before you step back and take a look at the exhausted faces that are lit with some hope. Fear clings to all of you because this demogorgon attack feels different, but there’s some hope that gets rid of some tension now. Just a little bit.

Either way, they still look tired and you know that no one, not even you would accept taking a nap as you’re all waiting for an update, so you offer something else instead. “I’m going to buy some food from the vending machines while we wait since the cafeteria is closed. I’ll have my walkie on in case something happens,” you let them know as you start to walk away from the waiting area, getting nods and a short and verbal response from Nancy.

“Okay.”

You offer them a faint smile before you turn your attention to the direction you’re going, finding that the vending machines with snacks are further than you thought, but that’s not what was hard, picking what to get was hard.

“Well, they get what they get,” you mumble to yourself and pick a pair of chocolate chip cookies for you and everyone else. Unfortunately, you do have to get the stupid snacks one by fucking one and when you’re collecting your second pack from the slot, someone walks up behind you.

It’s only when you’re going to pick the fourth pack that you acknowledge them though. “Sorry, I came on a snack run for my friends. This is the last thing I’m getting.”

“No worries,” you identify a man with a rather soothing voice that doesn’t make you doubt him. “Take your time,” he says and finally as you’re clicking the letter and number on the keypad, you look at the reflection painted on the vending machine's glass, and to your surprise, the man towering behind you is the same man from earlier today. The wanderer from the border.

He’s in the same brown suit that looks so pristine and almost new. When he catches you looking he dons the same sweet smile that doesn’t make you fear him even though he’s standing closer than he needs to be.

“What are you here for?” He asks as he walks to your side to look at all the snack options behind the glass.

“Uh, cookies,” you say as you bend down to collect the last pack.

“No,” he chuckles a rich laugh, and slowly drifts his blue eyes to you. “At the hospital.”

You step aside and even though when you look at him you have the odd sense of trusting him, you’re not so quick to reveal your reason.

The tall man recognizes your reluctance and takes off his hat, revealing nice combed-over blond hair that doesn’t have a single hair out of place. He almost looks too perfect and so behind the times especially with that pocketwatch in his pocket.

“I'm just trying to be friendly that’s all, but if you don’t want to say, it’s okay,” he makes sure you don’t feel bad, but you never do. “I am here for my wife,” he says. “We just had a baby.”

Is that why he was lurking by the border?

“Oh…congratulations,” you tell him out of courtesy before you shuffle back, hoping he’ll get a hint, but he presses his hat against his chest and sighs deeply as if the news was anything but good.

“Two months early,” he reveals and you drop your gaze and immediately regret your choice of words.

“The doctor says that the baby will be okay, but,” he continues to be way too personal and you can’t just run away without it being rude, so you just stand there with your head down and your gaze averted.

“…these are trying times,” he adds. “Had she been more careful they wouldn’t be so vulnerable. My wife and child.”

Your breath catches in your throat as his words hit close to home.

“Her family doesn’t think so and is prepared to carry the burden that comes with our little creation.”

Your eyes flutter before you slowly look up at him with an apologetic and perplexed look as his choice of word for his child reminds you of how Vecna said that to you about your…child in your nightmare

“But,” his voice trembles. “If something were to happen…” he trails off and ducks his head to put his hat back on. “Well,” he continues sounding more collected. “I won’t bid anyone more ill will.”

You swallow thickly and don’t respond as your mind is completely bombarded with how he talked about his wife and child. He didn't outright say it, but he called them a burden. He blames her.

“But what would you do if…you were her? I told her to get rid of it. We could try again later. When times are kinder. I mean the town is in chaos, I told her, but she didn’t listen. She’s so stubborn, my wife. So if you had a choice…would you have taken it? You as a woman in this town. To avoid being well…a hindrance.”

Your chest grows tight and your mind races as you think about your situation.

“I,” you mutter and shake your head as that word he just said echoes in your mind.

“It’s not my place to say…sir. I’m sorry and I’m sorry you think that way.” You offer him a pursed smile before you just spin on your heels and walk away before you can be overwhelmed with more unprovoked conversation.

It's just, who does that? Who just lays all that on a stranger?

Who does he think he is?

Better yet, why does he think that way about his wife? A burden?

Steve said you weren’t, but he could be lying. Maybe he’s telling the truth, but really, it’s not what he thinks that matters right now. It’s what you think of yourself that matters more because that is what you are. That’s what…it is.

With what happened to Nancy’s parents and sister, and with Eleven risking her life, everyone is in such distress. You don’t want to add more. You can’t, but the little ball of inconvenience puts you on that list of hindrances.

Oh! Damn it!

Damn it…

If only your mother were here. She would know what to say and do. Your father is most likely going to get mad, and Steve…

You shove the pack of cookies in your pockets and take out your walkie to try to reach him in your moment of weakness. To ask for reassurance.

However, before you can try, you actually turn the corner and run into Mike walking in the same direction as you, with three cups of coffee in his hands, and a distant look on his face.

“Oh, Mike,” you greet and brush away what was bothering you to just show surprise. “Hey.”

“Hi,” he says after he breaks away from his thoughts. “Oh, actually, can you take a cup since your hands are free? One is actually for you.”

You display more surprise before you shove your walkie away and offer him some relief as you take a cup from his hand.

“Thank you,” you express with shock and awe. “I got you all cookies so no one’s fighting over a snack.”

Mike snorts, but you look at him seriously because it’s not a joke. Dustin and Steve are always fighting over snacks—or they used to anyway.

“You’d be surprised,” you deadpan before you take a sip from your coffee and then address the matter that’s been in his head since he saw you at his house without Eleven. “I was ready to go with her, I was going to argue, but,” you sigh. “She asked me to trust her so I did.”

Mike takes a sip from his cup and when he brings the cup down and swallows he mutters. “You shouldn’t have listened.”

“Maybe,” you agree. “But she can take care of herself and if she asks, we have to trust her. Besides, my dad is down there. They’ll find each other. And if something happens, if she gets hurt…that will be my guilt to bear…she’ll be okay though,” you offer him some reassurance along with a faint smile before you reach the waiting area where Lucas isn’t. Nancy is walking from the receptionist desk, but Lucas is nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Lucas?” You ask as you search the area for said boy.

“He went to visit Max,” Mike says. “He’ll be back.”

You sit down across from him and set his pack of cookies on the table before you slide Nancy’s pack across the table as she sits down next to Mike looking quite annoyed.

“Okay, so,” Nancy immediately starts saying. “You guys are not gonna believe this, but she still won’t give us a timeline on seeing Mom,” she says and looks at Mike who has that same distant look from before.

“And...and,” she adds. “I wasn’t even asking to see mom. I was just asking to talk to the doctor,” she says as she takes a cup from Mike's hand. “And she just kept saying…” she trails off nonetheless as she notices Mike not paying attention.

“Mike,” she calls out for her brother. “Mike, are you listening?”

Said boy finally gives her his attention as he breaks away from his thoughts. “Yeah. Yeah, no, uh…I was thinking about something Lucas said earlier, about how he doesn’t believe in coincidences anymore, and…Did Holly ever talk to you about Mr. Whatsit?”

You open your own pack of cookies as you listen in even though Mike directs his question at Nancy.

“Her…imaginary friend from the book?” Nancy asks and you wonder how old their sister is.

When do kids stop having imaginary friends?

“Well, yeah,” Mike agrees. “It’s Mrs. Whatsit in the book. You’ve read A Wrinkle in Time?” Mike now directs at you, involving you in the conversation.

“Yeah, when I was a kid.”

“Well,” he continues. “This is her own creation. Holly’s. At least, that’s what I thought because when I went to pick her up from school today, she said that Mr. Whatsit told her that there are monsters in Hawkins.”

Your eyebrows slowly furrow as you take a bite from your cookie.

“And he warned her that these monsters, they were coming for her. And on the same day, she’s actually taken by a monster? I mean, as far as coincidences go, that’s a hell of a one.”

You sit back as you chew and nod in comprehension and agreement.

“And,” you add after you swallow. “What’s your theory exactly? That he might not be in her mind? Because I mean Holly doesn’t know about all the Upside Down stuff, right?”

Mike shakes his head as Nancy opens her pack of cookies. “That’s exactly it. No one’s told her anything so for Mr. Whatsit to mention exactly that doesn’t sound like a coincidence, I mean, what if Mr. Whatsit isn't a figment of Holly’s imagination? What if he’s real?” He says as he stands up.

“Real?” Nancy questions him.

“Yeah, what if?”

You scoff. “I mean it’s not a leap.”

“Maybe,” Nancy says after you. “But it…it doesn’t make sense. How have we never seen him?”

“Maybe we have, and we just didn’t know,” Mike says.

“So who the hell is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“And how does he know that Holly’s in danger?” Nancy asks the questions also forming in your mind.

“I don’t know,” Mike repeats.

“And if he was so worried, then why wouldn’t he want us or Mom to do something about it?”

“I don’t know, Nance,” Mike interjects louder than before. “My theory,” he says as he sits down again. “It has holes. You were right,” he directs at his sister. “About what you said earlier. We could’ve done more to protect Mom and Dad and Holly, and…I don’t want to have any more regrets. And maybe my theory is wrong, but if it isn’t, if Mr. Whatsit is in fact real, then he would know things. Like why Holly was taken, or…or maybe even—“

“Where she was taken,” Nancy finishes for Mike. “And how do you propose we go about finding out who this guy is?”

“I was kind of hoping you’d tell me,” Mike says with a smile. “You’re the genius investigative reporter after all.”

Nancy scoffs with a smirk. “That’s not far. Appealing to my ego.” She sighs and her smirk slowly falls.

You sit forward with a half-bitten cookie in your hand and your coffee in the other. “Why doesn’t Mike go up to the receptionist and ask? She won’t be able to turn down a lost boy with sad puppy eyes worried about his mom.”

“What?” Mike asks in confusion while Nancy looks at you like you climbed into her mind and read her thoughts.

“Exactly,” she says with shock.

“No, why me?” Mike presses so Nancy answers this time.

“Because she hates me and she,” Nancy points at you. “Won’t get anything because she’s not related to mom. And you’re cute, and we’re gonna need her help if we want to get close to the one person who knows about Mr. Whatsit, mom,” she says your exact thoughts.

“Well said,” you praise her before you look at Mike and wait for him to move, but he opens his cookies and takes a sip from his coffee, going unaware of your stares until he puts his cup down.

“What?” He asks. “Do you want me to go now?”

You and Nancy share a look because you both know that it was pretty obvious.

“Well,” you input. “Yes. We’re on the clock here.”

Mike picks up his coffee and chugs the rest before he finally gets up and walks over to the desk, making you and Nancy move to the half wall to peek over and watch him try his best at looking distraught for the receptionist.

It doesn’t seem like it’s going to work the first time, but it’s that easy for him. The receptionist gets up and walks away, letting Mike return, and making you and Nancy sit back down with the same annoyance.

“It’s easy for them,” you mumble.

“Right?!” Nancy agrees.

“She says that she’s going to talk to someone to bring the doctor over,” Mike announces as he finds his way back to his seat to continue eating, going unaware once again of your stares until seconds later. “What?” He probes.

You and Nancy leave him hanging and just sigh before you both continue eating.

“Do you ever wonder how it’d be if you were born a boy?” You ask Nancy as you throw a piece of cookie in your mouth. “I mean I’m glad I’m a girl, but do you ever wonder how different the world would be for you if you were a boy?”

Nancy chews and Mike passes you a weirded-out look.

“I’d be a world-class pilot with a big ego and a big package between my legs, or a hot and charming bookworm,” you nod as you think of what you said, earning no response so you mutter. “Robin would understand. Alas, I'm a girl and the world is better because of it.” You smile and continue eating the rest of your cookie in a short silence before you earn laughs from the Wheeler siblings that makes you smile wider.

In the silence that follows as you’re waiting, your thoughts from before threaten to return, but you instead wonder about where Dustin might be and when the doctor is coming because he sure is taking his sweet time.

You almost want to go complain for the Wheelers, but you’ll get shut down so you just bite your tongue and wait.

An hour or two, or even just a couple of minutes pass before you finally spot the doctor coming down the hall, making Nancy shoot up and meet him halfway while you and Mike catch up at a quick but not as fast pace.

“Doctor, I’m sorry to be so insistent,” Nancy lies to appeal to him. “But this is an emergency!”

“What kind of an emergency?” The doctor asks without caring about how distressed Nancy actually looks.

“Our…our sister, she’s missing, as you know…”

“And I understand,” the doctor interrupts. “And I’m very sorry.”

“Well, we think our mom has something,” Mike explains.

“Or knows something,” Nancy adds.

“About our sister. About finding our sister.”

“And I wish I could get you in to see her,” the doctor doesn’t try to be helpful whatsoever. “Truly, but your mother’s recovering from surgery. Her system is still in shock. And beyond that, her larynx is extremely damaged. I’m afraid she wouldn’t be able to talk, even if she were awake.”

“Right,” Nancy quickly retorts. “But even so—”

The doctor cuts her off to shush her, making you shoot him a glare.

“Listen to me. Finding your mother when you did saved her life. Let’s not risk it now,” he says and walks away, but not before patting her shoulder and adding one last thing. “All right, sweetheart.”

You all turn to watch him leave with the same annoyance and question that Mike asks outloud. “What now?”

“We could go back to the radio station. I left my work uniform in Steve’s car. I could use that to make them let us in,” you suggest.

“Yeah, but that would take up time,” Mike says uncertainly. “Unless you’re up for that Nancy?”

You both look at said girl and see that she’s looking over her shoulder so you probe. “What is it?

“Come on,” she says as she takes you and Mike by the hand to take you away with her.

“What are we doing?” Mike asks.

“Ignoring doctors’ orders,” Nancy says as she lets you both go and leads the way toward the elevators

“He said it’s too risky,” Mike protests.

“Yeah, when has that stopped us before,” Nancy says as you get into the elevator and she clicks the button to go to the janitorial floor. “Besides, did you smell his breath? I don’t trust doctors who smoke…or call me “sweetheart”. If it doesn’t work then we go back to the station and get your uniform.”

“Right, but what exactly are we doing now?” You have to ask.

“Dressing up as nurses instead of the military. Mike can be our sick patient. We’ll fit right in, and if someone stops us…”

“Just say we’re taking Mike back to his room,” you add for her and she agrees with a smile—“If all fails, we pull the fire alarm and just sneak in while they’re busy doing that.”

Nancy and Mike look at you and you shrug. “It’ll distract them. Unless you want to berate the doctor.”

“We’ll leave that as our last option,” Nancy says, making you hum.

The elevator then hits the intended floor and you file out and waste no time searching and finding a patient's robe and nurse uniforms.

“How are you doing?” Nancy surprises you by asking as you’re changing into your candy stripe nurse uniforms, and immediately, you think she knows. She somehow knows!

“I mean, being in a hospital in a situation like this must bring back memories about your mom,” Nancy explains herself and lets you exhale with relief.

“Uh…a little, but I was unconscious for most of my time at the hospital. My mom…she was already gone by the time I woke up. Which is good…it would’ve hurt more to see her in pain.”

“I’m sorry,” Nancy offers you softly, making you look back at her and offer her a smile.

“Your mother will make it. You got her here in time. I know being here and not being able to do anything will stress her out, but we’ll find your sister before she’s let go. I’m sure of it…what’s happening now…it feels different than before like—”

“It’s our last fight,” Nancy adds as she peers back.

You nod and put on the last finishing touch, the hat. “Yeah,” you whisper and watch her put on her hat too, letting you proceed to meet up with Mike and go on your way.

And in the first stretch towards their mom's room, you go unnoticed so you’re not cautious. It’s when you step out onto the floor that their mom is on that you’re observant and wary, hoping to go unnoticed.

You actually go far without having any scares or getting caught, but as you’re walking down a long hall, Mike whispers sharply. “Incoming, incoming.”

You look ahead and see the doctor from before walking your way with a nurse at his side, which is good because it means you have a better chance at passing unnoticed, but it’s still a risk.

“Uh,” you think out loud and search for an escape.

“Uh, limp or something,” Nancy says instead.

“What?” Mike quips.

“Limp!” She whispers loudly, making him start dragging his foot? Or is he limping?

Either way, you keep your head low and grab one of his arms as Nancy grabs the other.

When the doctor walks right by you, you look the other way and quicken your pace.

Luckily! The three of you go unnoticed, but Mike looks back so you scold him as you turn into a different hall. “Don’t look back!”

When you’re in the clear, you let go of Mike, and Nancy immediately picks on him as she lets go of him too. “And what kind of limp is that?”

“Yeah,” you snicker. “You limp like a zombie.”

“It’s a limp, a regular limp!” He snaps before Nancy cuts him off by stopping you in front of an open door.

You all then walk closer and see her mom, so you don’t hesitate to act. While they go in, you stay outside the door as a lookout, making sure to look busy by looking through random papers on a clipboard.

You try not to be too obvious, but you don’t want to miss anything either, so you do quick scans.

As far as you’re outside though, no one comes up to you. People pass by but they take you as any other nurse and leave you be.

Eventually, when Nancy and Mike walk out no one says anything. It’s not until you reach the elevator where it’s just the three of you that you finally probe.

“Was she able to provide any information?”

Nancy and Mike share the same look before she exhales deeply and hands you the paper she had come out with. A paper with information as to what this Mr. Whatsit might look like.

First though, what catches your attention is not the description, but the name, Henry.

“Vecna?” You ask and look at them with disbelief even though it makes sense as to why no one else saw him and why a demogorgon took Holly.

“Yes, it’s him. It’s actually him,” Nancy says without gloating even though she was right that Vecna was behind this. “He-he tricked her. He made her believe that he was someone else,” she says with anger rising in her voice. “But it was him and I knew it. From the beginning, I knew it was him.”

“We wanted it to be someone else,” you mutter and look back at the page to see what else Mrs Wheeler wrote.

‘Pocket watch.’

‘Tall.’

“What?” You mouth as you read the words again.

‘Pocket watch’. ‘Tall.’

‘Vest.’

You read the words again and again. When you step out of the elevator you begin to pace with your heart in your throat and those cookies climbing back up.

‘Pocket watch.’. ‘Tall’. ‘Vest’.

The man you saw. The wanderer whom you came across at the vending machine and saw at the border…

“Color,” you mutter to the Wheelers before either could ask what’s going on. “What color was the suit? Did she say?”

Nancy and Mike share a confused look before Nancy answers. “No.”

It doesn’t matter though. What you see is enough to know that the man was no wanderer.

In your dreams, Vecna said “Your creation and I will achieve…the unbelievable.” And today that guy…the way he expressed himself about his baby. “Her family doesn’t think so and is prepared to carry the burden that comes with our little creation.”

That son of a bitch was Vecna.

“Why?” Nancy asks.

You swallow thickly and meet her gaze with a frown. “Because…I’ve seen him too. At the hospital and when I was patrolling. A tall man in a brown suit with a brown vest and a pocket watch. It was him.”

——

*LATER*

You should’ve known. Somehow, someway. The dream yesterday should’ve been a giveaway, but you didn’t connect the damn dots and why would you? He's in your dreams frequently, tormenting you because of Eleven, wanting you dead to hurt her, but dragging it out to hurt her more, and leave her on edge wondering if it was today or next week that he was finally going to break her. It was like a routine now, so you never thought Mr. Whatsit could be the same person.

Now that you know, well, it’s not like discovering it sooner would’ve made a difference when that little inconvenience was already there, drawing Vecna’s attention, and making him spare your life only to take the child when it was ready to be born, making you, making it, just a bigger inconvenience because now besides Holly, besides everything else, it’s you too.

It was different when it was just you. Eleven had a plan, but now?

The world around you has disappeared to nothing but solely you tormented by your grievances and the same question, what are you going to do?

It’s not like you can leave with so much on the line. It’s far too late to be careful.

You don’t want people to know and dote and help you just because of it. There’s so much on the line! You can’t be…a burden too, but what can you do?

You don’t want to die and you don’t want…it…to know fear the moment it takes its first breath because that’s what it’ll know if something happens, and you don’t want that, but how? What do you do?

Why did it have to be here now? Why does it have to be such an inconvenience? It was easier when it was just you…

You exhale and don’t realize you’re driving up to the station until the world is bright and starts spinning again when you see Steve waiting in front of the Squawk van.

He sees you too and the moment your eyes lock your heart skips a beat. When the car comes to a halt you basically throw yourself out of the car and he doesn’t hesitate to make his way to you.

“Steve,” you muse with a bright smile while he looks at you like he can finally breathe again. When you meet halfway and throw your arms around each other though, to Steve it feels like everything is where it should be.

“Hey,” he whispers before he kisses the side of your head. “Are you okay?”

You pull away and cradle his face whilst you stay wrapped in his arms. “Yeah.” You nod. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

To everyone on the outside, your greeting was an exaggeration. Your parents aren’t in the hospital and your sister isn’t missing, but they don’t know what had Steve worrying and stressed all night.

“Are you sure?” He asks as he drags his hands away from your waist to grab your face.

“Yeah,” you giggle. “I’m okay. We didn’t even see the demogorgon by the time we got there. I’m okay.”

Steve nods and caresses your face before he studies you and grins slowly. “Well, look at you. You look sexy in a candy stripe uniform.”

Your cheeks burn and your heart flutters as a giddy smile spreads on your face before you smirk at him. “You should see me in my new work uniform. I don’t look too shabby.”

Steve’s hand slides back to your waist and his grin turns cheeky. “You could wear nothing and you still wouldn’t look shabby.”

You push his shoulder gently. “Thats because you like me naked.”

He grabs your hand holding his shoulder and brings the heel of your hand to his lips whilst he continues to flirt with you. “No, I love you naked. You’re hot in nothing.”

You lean in closer to him and whisper. “You’re sexy in nothing, you know?”

Steve presses a kiss on the heel of your hand before he leans forward, hanging your hand around his neck as he presses his forehead against yours.

“I missed you,” you tell him, making him smile a sweet smile before he grabs your face and steals a chaste kiss from your lips, your cheeks, your nose, and your forehead before he starts peppering kisses along your jaw.

“Steve,” you giggle with a smile and tilt your head to make it easier for him to nip at your ear before he tilts your head to make you meet his enamored gaze.

“Are you going to say it back?” You tease and he just grins before he leans towards your lips.

“Let me show you,” he whispers and steals a deep and longing kiss that makes you smile and press him closer against you before you tangle your fingers in his hair and get lost in the hot moment for a second before you pull away with the attempts to join everyone else, but Steve doesn’t let you go. He grips onto you and continues to steal kisses from your lips, making you giggle again.

“Okay, Steve, stop. There’s people around.”

“You’ve never cared,” he counters as he continues to kiss you, and it's true, but still!

“Steve,” you say between giggles, and only have the strength to pull away when you finally catch sight of Dustin.

He’s with the boys with the collar of his shirt torn, fresh red bruises under his eyes and on his cheek, a swollen nose with bloody napkins in his nostrils, and a busted lip.

“Oh my god, Dustin!” You gasp and rush over to him with your heart racing.

When you reach him and try to reach for him, he swats your hand away and snaps without looking at you. “Save your overwhelming concern.”

“Hey, she’s just worried—” Steve comes to your defense as he falls by your side, but gets cut off.

“It was a Bike crash,” Dustin explains to you, Mike, and Lucas. “Flew headfirst into a light post.”

You share a concerned look with Steve.

“Look, I'm sorry about missing the crawl,” Dustin says as he pats Lucas’s shoulder. “About everything.”

“It’s not your fault, don’t beat yourself up,” Mike assures him, making you scoff.

“Yeah, it looks like he already did,” you mutter. “Or someone did.”

“Is that broken,” Lucas asks his wounded friend as he reaches for his nose.

“I dunno—”

“Let me—”

“Don’t touch it,” Dustin cuts Lucas off as he backs away before his friend could touch his nose.

“I wasn’t…I wanted to see—”

“You were going to.”

“Hey!” Robin suddenly steals your attention from the entrance of the station. “This isn’t a social call, kiddos. Let’s go.”

You steal a glance at Dustin as he turns away to walk off and then share a knowing glance with Steve and Lucas, agreeing that none of you believe the bike crash story.

Alas, you don’t interrogate him now. You all follow Robin inside.

“Bopper?” Steve asks as he pulls out a half-eaten bar from his pocket.

“It’s open,” you point out with your nose scrunched.

“Yeah, I saved half for you.”

“Or were you looking out for your figure?” You mutter and take a bite as he brings it up to your lips. “Where did you even get these? Murray?”

“Yeah, he brought a box and well…I had a craving for them.”

You share a look of realization and for this moment you share a smile before you find a seat on the long orange couch.

Once everyone is gathered, Will and Robin start explaining what they know, and at first, it's what you already know, it was Vecna after Holly. What they say next though is that apparently Vecna is coming for someone next and Will knows who it is, Derek Turnbow. Holly’s classmate.

“Derek?” Steve asks for clarification. “Derek Turnbow? As in the Turnbow family? Like Turnbow Realty?”

“The one and only,” Robin agrees.

“Whole family’s a menace,” Lucas interjects before you probe.

“Why? How can you be sure that Derek’s the next target and not…someone else?”

“Because I saw,” Will explains. “I’ve learned that when I’m close enough to the hive mind, I can tap into it, into Vecna’s mind.”

“Since when?” You mumble in confusion.

“I can see who he’s targeting.” Your question goes unanswered, but you don’t pester him to answer. You sit back and share a look with Mike and Nancy instead.

“The first time it happened, I saw through Holly’s eyes the same day she was taken. And this morning, it happened again. Only this time I wasn’t Holly. I was someone else. I was Derek Turnbow. I’m positive.”

You drop your gaze and wonder if he’s seen you.

“Hold on,” Steve interjects. “I’m a little lost.”

“Shocking,” Dustin mutters, making you shoot him a pointed look.

“We-were you seeing through the eyes of…of Vecna or of Derek,” Steve asks the right question.

“Both,” Will says. “I…I was Vecna, but inside Derek’s mind.”

You clasp your hands together and lean forward.

“Vecna’s like a psychic serial killer,” Robin says. “He stalks his victims, but he does it by invading their minds. That’s what he did with Chrissy and Max, and you.” She points at you.

“Yeah, but the way he’s doing it this time is different,” Nancy adds. “We did some digging at the hospital. It turns out that before he took Holly, Vecna stalked her. But he didn’t appear as Vecna. He appeared as Henry. As a friend.”

“We think he was trying to earn her trust,” Mike says. “Now, why he went to all that trouble, we don’t know. But I highly doubt his long-term goal is friendship.”

“That’s not at all,” you chime in after Mike and keep your head down. “I’ve been seeing him too.”

“Wait, what? When?” Steve immediately asks, while Joyce gasps.

“Oh, my god.”

“Before you freak out,” you direct at Steve. “I saw him when I was at work and at the hospital. I didn’t think anything of it. People wander the border all the time. And at the hospital, I just thought it was a coincidence. He said he was there with his wife.”

“Are you sure it was him, though?” Jonathan asks with confusion.

You nod. “I saw what Mrs Wheeler wrote. The description is the same as Holly's. A tall man in a brown suit and a pocket watch…” you trail off as you leave out the other thing that made it obvious. “He’s not hard to mistake. It’s not what everyone wears all the time.”

“But why you? Is it the same reason he’s been appearing in your dreams and almost killed you two years ago?” Dustin asks, but never once meets your gaze.

“I,” you pause and sigh, sharing a long glance with Steve that makes him immediately rub his face with a deep breath as he figures out the reason that you leave unspoken.

“I don’t know. Possibly,” you lie because it doesn’t matter. If he’s after it he’s after you too until it’s born, given that it’s two months old that’s still some time away.

“Whatever the reason,” Will interjects. “Whatever he’s planning, we have to stop him. And we have to save Derek.”

Joyce nods and then adds your name to the plan, but Will has something to say about it. “I don’t think he’s after her right now. I would’ve had a feeling like with Holly and Derek.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “And who knows when he’ll come after me. Tomorrow? After Derek?”

“Exactly and for my plan to work we need Derek because we know for sure that he's the next target.”

“Plan?” Jonathan questions his brother. “What plan?”

“Let’s go downstairs. It’ll be easier to understand if I show everyone too.”

You all get up and follow Will down to the basement, albeit before you go downstairs, Steve grabs your arm and makes you linger behind everyone.

“We have to tell them. We have to let them know who Vecna is really coming after,” he urges, but you grab his arm and shake your head.

“No, it doesn’t matter. It’s not here. As long as it’s inside me he’s coming after me too, so no, we won’t tell them. I told you. I don’t want to tell anyone. Not yet.”

“You’ll be safer if they know though,” Steve argues. “We have—”

“No,” you cut him off and grab him by his jaw. “Please don’t tell them yet. Please.”

Steve's gaze falls as he debates your plea with his face riddled with concern. More than you’ve ever seen.

“We’ll be okay. It’s not the same as before. We can fight this if he comes after me,” you reassure him as you caress his jaw with your thumbs.

Steve meets your gaze and cups your hand, making you lean in to whisper your reassurance. “Let’s focus on this plan. On now, okay? If this plan doesn’t work then we tell them.”

Steve swallows thickly and looks at you with worry and fear for your life and the other little one, so much so that your heart aches for him.

“I’ll be okay,” you say again a lot softer than before and with a faint smile. “We know it’s him now. We know what to look out for,” you whisper as you look into his big worried eyes. “I’ll be okay.”

Steve doesn’t seem to be comforted, but before you can continue, Robin appears upstairs and out of breath. “Hey, hurry. We’re waiting for you two. Save it for later. You guys live together.”

You roll your eyes lightheartedly and wait for her to leave, but she waits until you and Steve are with her to move to make sure that you don’t fall behind again.

When you’re down in the basement with everyone else, you see a map projected on the wall, and Will beside it waiting for you and Steve to find your places to start his plan.

“The Turnbows live here,” Will finally starts explaining and points at a place on the map. “We wait in a van across the street. As soon as they’re asleep, we move in, we grab Derek, and we take him to here,” Will says and points at another spot across town. “The McCorkle farm. It’s completely isolated. It’s abandoned. The only thing is, we need to make sure he doesn’t see us or know where he is. So we'll need to blindfold him.”

You scoff and fold your arms across your chest while Steve questions Will. “Wait, wait. Hold on. What?”

“So that Vecna can't find him,” Robin explains for Will.

“Yeah,” Steve breathes out.

“And mom,” Jonathan says. “You’re okay with just kidnapping a child?”

You nod in agreement and look over at her to see her respond. “No, no, we’re saving a child via kidnapping. And yeah, it’s fine. I think. Yes. Now’s not the time to play it safe, Jonathan.”

You scoff again and interject with your own concerning questions. “And pray tell, since you’ve planned this out. How will we go into the house without going unnoticed? How will we get Derek out without him fighting us? I don’t think he’ll sleep through all the commotion. And it’s not like he knows any of us. We’re strangers barging into his house and stealing him while he sleeps.”

“Exactly,” Steve backs you up before Lucas adds his own question.

“Yeah, besides what if Derek falls asleep before the Demogorgon attacks him?”

“That’s one,” Dustin agrees.

“Adding onto yours,” Nancy directs at you. “What if he alerts his family? We’ll go to jail.”

“There’s another,” Lucas adds whilst you nod and look at Will since he’s the one with the plan.

“But the third and most gaping hole even if by some miracle this plan even works, Holly’s still missing. Hop and El, still MIA. This doesn’t bring us any closer to finding Vecna. This plan just buys us and Derek some time.”

“That’s it,” Lucas says before Mike interjects.

“Not necessarily. There might be a way. A way to save Derek and find Holly. Come with me,” he says and gets up to walk you to the table at the other side of the room.

Everyone’s quick to gather, but he grabs a small blue bag first before he joins everyone at the table and dumps out…figurines.

“This is Derek,” Mike begins to explain as he picks up a figurine and shows it off before he puts it down and grabs a couple more. “And this is the rest of the Turnbow family. We’re gonna need to recruit someone that the family trusts, someone that can gain access to the house,” he says before he grabs another figurine and puts it down with the others.

“This person will knock the family out,” Mike continues. “Then we'll extract the family from the house.”

“Knock them out?” Joyce asks.

“Well, safely. With sleeping pills or something.”

“I might know where we could get some benzos,” Robin chimes in. “Those things could knock an elephant on its ass.”

“Perfect,” Mike agrees while you and Steve share a questioning look.

“That way if Vecna spies, he’ll just assume Derek is fast asleep in bed. He’ll send his Demos to grab him,” Mike says as he slams down another figurine. “Only he won’t find Derek. He’ll find us. And we'll be ready. We’ll get Murray to supply us with the traps. We’ll burn the sucker. Send him scampering home to its master, but not before we stick him with one of these,” he says and pulls out a tracker. “We’ll track the Demo across the Upside Down in the Squawk van just like we did with Hopper. And if we’re lucky, the Demo will lead us back to its lair, to Vecna, to Holly. Holes?”

You raise your hand as everyone has nothing to say.

“Uh, yeah?” Mike points at you, making you put your hand down and share your question.

“Who is going to be the Turnbows’ lovely guest? As far as I know, no one here is close to them to just waltz in without raising eyebrows.”

Everyone looks at each other with curiosity before Lucas cuts in. “Erica. She’s best friends with Tina Turnbow. I’ll go right now and ask her while everyone else goes to the farm to prepare.”

“Anymore holes?” Mike asks again, but this time you don’t have anything else to question so you shake your head and step back, letting the plan be put in motion.

——

*LATER*

“Okay, so I couldn’t get any ethanol,” Murray says from the back of the truck. “But I was able to scrounge up a gallon of acetone. Now, be very careful. You smoke a Virginia Slim too close to this stuff, it’ll catch fire, okay?” He warns the group as he hands you the canister from the truck full of goodies he was able to bring right away.

“Snare wire, various gauges,” he says and hands said item to Steve. “A creepy, child-sized CPR dummy. Its purpose a mystery to me.”

He hands Jonathan the dummy before picking up the next thing. “Shotgun shells, per our lovely lady’s request,” he says and hands the box to Nancy before grabbing a pack of balloons. And not just any, grenade-painted balloons.

“Three 20-packs of water balloons. Purpose also a mystery, but I did take the liberty of selecting the grenade style as it felt thematically appropriate.”

You scoff. “Ah it’ll make a world of difference,” you mutter as you hold the canister under your arm.

“I prefer you when you’re nice and sweet at the border,” he snaps back, so you just shoot him a cheeky smile.

“Do keep those far away from,” he continues and sits on the edge of the truck to open the wooden box he left on the ladder. “These 3,000 feet of barbed wire. Oh, I almost forgot. Some sparkling new spark plugs for Bilbo Baggins,” he says, and hands a small box to Dustin.

“Hey,” you call out as Steve takes the canister from you. “Did you bring what I asked for?”

“Ah, yes!” He exclaims and drags himself back in the truck before spinning on his ass and getting up to go grab your order.

Dustin stays beside you holding his little order and makes sure to avoid looking at you so you don’t start a conversation, but you do. Or try to.

“I have painkillers in my bag and they’re not Midol. I also have antibiotics."

“Are you running a pharmacy from your bag?” He quips and you snicker.

“No, but we’re always in danger and someone usually tends to get hurt so I’m prepared. You can—”

“I don’t need it and I don’t really need you to be bothering me about it,” he snaps, making you raise your hands.

“Okay, well my bag is in Steve’s car,” you get out regardless, seconds before Murray comes back with a large black case.

“And for you little Hopper, what you ordered. Trying to catch big fish?” He adds as he carefully hands you the heavy box that brings your arms down when you’re holding it without his help.

“Just about. Thank you, Murray!” You grin at him before you join the others in the barn with a big and bright grin. “Look what I just got! Christmas came early!”

The people who came to the abandoned farm all look back at you as they set their things down and you eagerly drag the case with you to the middle where they gather to look.

“When we found out that a demogorgon had taken Holly, I remembered you guys said that their skins were hard to penetrate and I thought back to my grandfather,” you begin to share as you get on your knees to open the case on the ground. “He would go fishing out at sea and he would take me when he was going with my friend's grandfather, and I remembered that they would use this,” you say eagerly, and turn the case around to show off the spear guns that you asked Murray for.

“Spearguns,” you reveal, bringing only Nancy to you whilst Jonathan and Joyce lose interest, and Steve looks at you with concern.

“Now,” you tell Nancy since she’s the only one fascinated by your weapons. “It can only shoot one at a time and the skin is different from a fish's, but this could deal quite good damage, especially with this specific head with the wings. It’ll tear its flesh as it tries to pull out.”

Nancy picks one gun up to study it in her hands.

“Are you sure it’s good to use?” Steve asks as he shifts the canister in his hand. “I mean how many of those rods does it have?”

“There’s 8 and two guns, so four per gun. Not a lot, but enough.”

“You just have to make them count,” Nancy says as she shifts around to hold the gun and point it at an empty wall. “It has good balance.”

“I don’t know,” Steve shares his concern, making Nancy quip this time.

“You shouldn’t be worried if it’s safe for her to hold or not. You should ask if it’s strong enough to actually hurt the monster that we intend to kill.”

Steve sighs deeply, not liking Nancy’s answer nor this idea of you being so excited to be putting yourself in danger.

“Well,” he grumbles. “Is it?”

You grab a speargun and a shaft to load the gun before you stand up and back away. Nancy mirrors you and falls by your side to aim at the stack of hay next to yours.

“Clear?” She asks and you make a quick scan before you nod.

“Yep,” you let her know and focus on the target before you both shoot at the same time, causing the shaft to blast out and tear through the delicate haystack before both shafts hit the old wooden wall standing at the other side.

“It is,” Nancy muses and looks at you with a smug smile before you share a high five and go grab your shafts from the wall.

Steve stands back and watches for a few seconds before he walks off with his question answered, but that worry about you still lingering in his mind.

“It went through,” Nancy points out as she pulls out the shaft.

“This wood is old, which made it easier, but when it comes to shooting a demogorgon, we don’t need it to tear through it. I mean, that would be ideal, but having it just lodged inside would be enough. Especially with the other heads that are in the case,” you explain as you take your own shaft from the wall.

“Exactly. Good thinking,” Nancy praises you.

You offer her a thankful smile before you take the speargun she used and put it back in the case, catching Jonathan taking Nancy’s place as she walks away to do something.

“Do you need help carrying that?” Jonathan asks, making you glance at him and nod. “Sure. Now that you’re offering, I mean.”

You let him pick up the case and point outside. “I still need to change the heads on each shaft so let’s just take it to the van. You know, I’m surprised you’re even offering to help. Did your mom make you?”

Jonathan scoffs. “I’m actually offended you would ask that. It looks heavy and I thought you could use help.”

You huff and spare a glance over your shoulder to make sure that Nancy isn’t close before you bring up the matter you have purposely not weighed in on, but now seems like the perfect chance. “You know—”

“How are you—” He asks at the same time that you speak, making him point his hand at you so you can go first.

“Good,” you say quickly before you focus on your question. “I’m good now me. You know that clinging to Nancy and living with her doesn’t solve any problems, right? I mean it’s been a long time, and I may not talk to Nancy, but I can see. I have eyes, you know? And it’s obvious that there's still tension, so when are you going to talk to her and explain what you and I know?”

Jonathan makes sure to peer back before he shakes his head and scoffs. “I don’t know why it even matters to you—”

“It matters because I know you. I love you, and El and I are worried.”

Jonathan glances down before he mutters. “It’s not that easy.”

“Relationships are famously not easy. They take work. Hard work. Work that won’t be solved with silence and time. Talk to her.”

“Now?” He snaps. “As her world is falling apart?”

You nudge him. “It’s not only her world. Not anymore. Just like I told her, this time it feels different. Like our last fight, and I know we cling to the hope that nothing will happen, but we both know that it’s not that simple. If something happens before you talk, you will both regret it. Trust me,” you scoff. “That regret is a dangerous thing. You saw me dealing with it for months.”

Jonathan drops his gaze and stays quiet for a few minutes before he picks his head up and passes you a pointed look. “Oh, you and Steve talk it out, is that it?”

You scoff lightheartedly and don’t let that get to you for his sake. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean that your boyfriend is a grade-A asshole and I really don’t get what you’re doing with him. You could do so much better.”

“I will let this slide because I obviously hit where it hurts, but,” you make sure to say clearly whilst you come to a stop, making Jonathan come to a stop.

“I will not let you get away with saying that about Steve. I know he doesn’t make it easy, but you don’t either, and I am not picking sides or making excuses for Steve, but maybe if you got your head out of your ass and tried just a little bit, you’d see that he’s not bad at all. And yes, we talk. He’s good to me. That’s all that should matter.”

You take the case from him and offer him a kind smile. “Talk to Nancy, Johnny.”

Jonathan chuckles at that nickname before he repeats it. “Johnny, really?”

You smile brighter. “You still remember?”

“Of course I do, that’s why I asked.”

You giggle and turn away, getting something else thrown at you before you get too far.

“Are those my headphones?”

You peer back. “Your mom gave them to me. She insisted on it in fact. So they’re mine now.”

“Until you get yours!”

You throw your thumb up to just satisfy him before you make your way to the Squawk van where you find Steve throwing things out with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips curled in a frown that lets you know he’s deep in thought.

“What’s going on?” You interrupt him. “Why are we trashing the van? Those are expensive, you know?”

“I need to make the van lighter,” he says as he stops and spins on his feet to face you with something in his hand and his eyebrows still furrowed. “Which means you cannot put that in here. You can leave it in the car.”

“I was actually just bringing it here to change the heads on the shafts. I don’t want to get poked on my ass by all that hay in the barn.” You explain and put the case in the back before you jump on and drag it back toward the front to not be in the way.

“You think it’ll be enough throwing everything out?” You ask as you watch him throw out what he had in his hand in his quiet and thoughtful demeanor.

“Eh, maybe, but it’s the only car with the antenna so it’s not like we have a choice on the matter,” he says in response as he just mindlessly pulls out equipment.

You open the case and pick up a shaft and a head before you glance at him and bite your lip before you probe. “Where’s your partner in crime?”

“Somewhere. Not here, obviously.”

You roll your eyes at his snippy response before you throw your nurse's hat at him. It doesn’t hurt, it just hits him and falls by his feet before he looks over at you with a deadpanned look.

“Ow,” he feigns.

“Don’t get snippy with me. I’m asking because you found him in the middle of the road and I want to know if anything’s different.”

“Sorry,” he mutters before he turns away to focus on what he was doing. “And yes actually.”

You feel hope spark in your heart.

“We agreed not to talk anymore,” he reveals and snuffs out that flicker of hope.

“Oh, Steve,” you coo with a saddened look and tears for some reason welling in your eyes.

“Look, I wanted to do what you said, but how could I be patient when I find him coming out of the woods all beat up? And after he lied by the way. We both know he didn’t crash.”

You put your things down and swallow thickly before you speak on the matter. “I get it, but not talking? Steve.”

“He agreed and I-I’m not pushing it. I have other things to worry about. I can’t be begging him to talk to me if he doesn’t want to.”

You get up and walk over to him to grab his arm, making him slowly look at you helplessly despite how annoyed and bothered he sounded just now.

“He wants to,” you tell him. “He just doesn’t know how. Please don’t give up on him. Please.”

Steve looks into your eyes and notices the tears welling in your eyes. “I…will consider it, so don’t cry about it.”

You let him go and throw your hands in the air. “I don’t want to! It just happened.”

He hums and his eyebrows furrow again as what’s weighing him down comes to the front of his mind whilst you proceed to sniffle and then muster a mischievous grin.

“So where do you think it happened?” You try to lighten the mood.

“What?” He asks cluelessly.

You smirk and without revealing who, you share your thoughts. “There was that time in the shower, or that very long and hot night.”

Steve scoffs in amusement as he understands what you’re referring to.

“But there was also that time…”

“Here,” he finishes for you with a smug smile. “The day we did it here. I’m sure of it.” He says with a softer smile as he seems to be thinking about that day. And that, that smile is all you need to feel better. “You know,” you whisper and slowly drag your hand up to cradle his face. “I like to see you smile. You have a nice smile.”

A small smirk flickers on his lips before he grows flustered and smiles at the floor. You take this chance to tilt his head up and pepper his lips with kisses, causing you to feel his smile widen as he grabs your face and lets you cover his lips with kisses before he starts returning them with more force and eagerness that makes you giggle.

“No, Steve I’m supposed to be showing you some lovin’,” you say between giggles before you push him away gently.

“Even when I’m a selfish chauvinistic meathead?” He says with his smile falling, making you grab him by the collar of his coat and interrogate him seriously.

“Who said that?”

“That’s what I am apparently,” he mutters and lowers his gaze.

“No, you’re nothing like that. You’re not selfish. You can be a little overprotective, but you are not any of those things. Who said that?”

Steve licks his lips and whispers. “Jonathan.”

You sigh and stroke his chest before you cup his face. “I’ll talk to him.”

“No, I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.”

You meet his gaze and hold it with a narrowed look. “Maybe not, but I won’t let anyone disrespect you with lies. Jonathan may be my friend. My brother basically, but I won’t let him get away with it if you let me, so you know what? I will fight your battles.”

Steve looks at you with a pointed look before his eyes glimmer as he breaks into a flustered smile that makes you beam at him.

“God, I love you,” he muses before he kisses you first and smiles in the kiss.

You slide your hand around his neck and push him back, making him bump into all the clutter without breaking the sweet, sweet, and passionate kiss.

Albeit much to your inconvenience, you get interrupted. “Is this really productive work?” You hear Dustin sass before you see him with a hand on his hip. “You guys live together, don't tell me you can’t stay away from each other for a few minutes.”

You snicker and gently pat Steve’s chest before you turn away and return to where you left your case. “I am going to ask Nancy for help,” you make yourself scarce and quickly close the case to climb out of the van with your things in hopes the boys will talk.

You hope they do talk, the tension between them is sad and them choosing not to talk is just like a knife to the heart.

They just need a little push which is easier said than done, but that’s what they need. You'll lock them in a room if you have to because you know that this can't be how it goes. After everything?

But maybe you’re hoping for too much. Maybe they’ll never reconcile. Just maybe this is how life is meant to be. Sad and scary with some good moments in between that will never last a lifetime. If this…thing, Vecna and the Upside Down doesn’t end, this is what life will be like if you’re even given the chance that is, which doesn’t seem likely considering Vecna’s plan.

Maybe in another lifetime you’re in college living a stressful but fun college life, or maybe you’re taking a road trip across the country seeing the sights and visiting different beaches.

Maybe the news of the little inconvenience is happier there too. Maybe just maybe a creepy monster isn’t after it and trying to…eat it? Make it like him? You don't know, but you do that here in this life tears stream down your cheeks at the thought of it and you can’t make them stop.

Maybe it’s because you’re sitting down calmly changing the heads on the shafts with nothing but your thoughts as company, but the tears won’t stop coming to the point you have to stop doing what you’re doing to avoid getting hurt.

You want to stop crying because it feels just plain stupid, but they don’t stop flowing. You can’t stop until you hear approaching footsteps and then see a shadow overcast you.

For a second you fear it’s Vecna appearing as Mr. Whatsit again, but when you quickly look up it’s only Nancy.

“You can have one if you want,” you tell her, referring to the speargun. “I can’t shoot two at a time and it’ll be better if two different people have them. I’d let Robin take one, but she’ll probably hurt her foot, so it’s either you or one of the boys. Lucas is a good shot, so think about it before I ask him.”

“Okay,” you hear Nancy whisper as you continue changing the heads. “Are you,” she pauses and lets a moment of hesitation pass before she finishes her question. “Okay?”

“I thought about it,” you say as you continue working. “Work and how I didn’t go today and they most likely know about Eleven, and how I’ve known her all along, but losing that position is not what actually bothers me. It would have bothered me before. It would’ve made me mad maybe, but I’m more bothered by the fact that my mom lied to my dad and me and never told either of us that she was a black ops soldier who worked for Doctor Kay. She said she was a nurse, but then Doctor Kay comes to town and tells me she knew my mom and it’s like…I never knew her, and I can’t even be mad at her because she’s…dead,” you end your rant with a huff before you stop and slowly look at her, seeing her look at you with concern.

“That’s why you were crying?” She asks as she sits beside you on the dirty wooden bench, letting the sun kiss her face too.

“Well,” you almost lie, but you see her trying to figure you out and well, you need to talk to someone. Someone collected like her. Everyone you talk to will listen, but she won’t coddle you when you say what’s tightening your chest, making it almost hard to breathe.

“If I tell you have to promise you can’t tell anyone,” you say quietly and put the shaft down, but don’t look at her. You keep your eyes on the dirt beneath your feet, hearing her reassure you.

“Yeah, I promise.”

“And I’m telling you because if I tell Robin she’ll freak out, and if I tell Joyce she’ll tell my dad. It wouldn’t be fair to tell her to keep a secret for me, but I know I can trust you with this.”

You hear Nancy shift and take a small breath before you gulp and grip onto the wooden board you’re sitting on before you reveal what you haven’t been able to say out loud. “I’m…pregnant.”

You slowly look at her now and see her blink with shock as her already big eyes widen more and her lips part. She wants to respond but she studies you carefully at first, and when she doesn’t see the happiness in your eyes, she scoots closer without a smile or a congratulations.

“Does Steve know?” She asks first before anything else.

Tears well in your eyes again as you nod. “Yes, he’s the only one who knows.”

“What did he say?”

You swallow thickly and manage a faint smile. “I don’t think he really knows what to say yet. I mean, he’s been sweet and supportive after we confirmed it. He’s been really good,” you whisper shakily before tears break out of your eyes and crawl down your face. “And usually that would be enough, but I can’t shake it this time…I’m scared,” you break, seeing her eyes fill with sympathy.

“I was scared before, I mean I didn’t really want it before I found out that Vecna was pursuing me again. I mean to be having a baby in a time like this? It was inconvenient.” You scoff with more tears. “But now that I know that the man I was seeing was Vecna, and that he’s really after the baby, I’m terrified.”

Nancy drops her gaze as Vecna coming after you again makes more sense after he had taken Holly and is now after Derek.

“I’ve been scared before, every time something’s happened, but this time it’s different. I-I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be a burden—”

“You’re not,” Nancy quickly corrects you sweetly as she tries to be reassuring. “It’s a surprise, but you’re not a burden.”

You hold her gaze and shake your head. “I don’t know what to do, Nancy. I don’t want to leave everyone behind, I can’t, but I don’t know what to do. This isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

Nancy takes a deep breath before she takes your hand and squeezes it gently as she looks at you with ferocity that you truly admire about her.

“Maybe not and I can’t guarantee the future, I wish I could,” she says. “I really do, but I know that as long as you continue fighting he won’t get to you or your baby because that’s the difference between you and the kids. You can fight back and you really fight like hell,” she says with an admiring smile, making you smile faintly in return.

“I like that about you,” she continues. “So turn that fear to anger or determination. Whatever gets you fighting. Just fight. Fight like hell, and know that your worst fears are not how your story will end.”

A wobbly smile tugs on your face as more tears crawl down your face before you mutter shamefully. “Does it make me a bad person for thinking that way about the baby though? I know it does, but I can’t help it.”

Nancy slips her hand from yours and at first, you think it's because she does think you’re a bad person but she then grabs your shoulder and shakes her head. “No, you said it, you’re scared. It’s normal in this situation. I would think the same way, so no it doesn’t make you a bad person. I’m sure it’ll be an exciting thing after we’re done fighting, so be kinder to yourself and fight like hell. You can’t pretend it’s not there, so for now, it’s the only thing you can do for it.”

You reach for her hand and give it a gentle squeeze before you try to lighten the mood. “You won’t tell me it’s a miracle?”

Nancy chuckles. “God I’d hate it if someone told me that, so no. Do you want me to?”

You snort and shake your head. “No, please no.”

Nancy smiles and just reassures you one more time. “You’ll be okay and the baby will be okay too. And remember that you’re not alone. We’re in this fight together, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod softly before you do the unexpected again and embrace.

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