#challenge 6

During the day I can suppress the thoughts simply by focussing on other stuff. Music for example. Or the anticipation for the food we’ll have for dinner. But dinner reminds me of Brooke’s elimination and how quiet it is during mealtimes without her around.

Or my mind goes to Hugo and that kiss. The thought alone makes me feel all warm inside. I still can’t believe that happened. It feels like a dream. Or a fairy tale. Something unreal.

I trace the stitching on the hem of the tablecloth with my finger. There is a beautiful golden embroidery all over the fabric. It still surprises me how these royals live. Even their tablecloths look like a work of art.

There is only one other girl sitting at my table. A pretty blonde with a sense of calmness and elegance around her. If she is excited or nervous, she doesn’t show.

I glance around the room. There are 3 other tables with two girls each. All of them seem to be paired up with a friend, their voices filling the room. Leana is sitting at a different table, happily chatting with another girl.

There are eight of us left. Seven if you exclude me.

We are the Elite. How crazy is that?

One of us is going to get married to the prince. Become his queen.

I know for a fact it isn’t going to be me. And I’m content with that.

Even if the prince and I would be the last two people on this planet, it still wouldn’t happen. We just don’t get along. Perhaps trying to shoot him with a paintball gun had been the cause of that. Or maybe we just weren’t compatible. Who knows? Who cares?

For some miraculous reason I had stumbled upon the kindest person there is. Someone who listens and makes me smile nonstop. Someone who makes me feel safe. I can still feel the ghost of that kiss on my lips.

“Tavi!”

I jump up from my chair immediately, just in time to see my brother run towards me. I kneel and he throws his arms around me.

Some tears escape, running down my cheeks.

Another pair of arms join in. Aria.

I pull both of them into a tight hug. They smell like home, a little dusty but with a hint of pinewood and cinnamon. More tears fall down my cheeks.

A hand lands on my shoulder. I let go of my little siblings and stand up to give my mom a hug. She can’t hold the tears back either. They fall on the fabric of my dress on my shoulder. I couldn’t care less about the stain they’ll leave behind. It’s just water so it will dry eventually.

The only thing I care about now is my family. Here. With me.

*****

"Good morning."

All my muscles tense at the sound of that voice.

Please don't let it be directed to us.

Please go to a different table.

We've managed to not speak to each other for so long, why ruin it now?

But unfortunately the person stops walking, his presence looming over me as he stands still behind my chair.

The expression on my mom's face tells me she wished for him to keep walking too. A nervous laugh escapes. No she is definitely not feeling comfortable with the prince this nearby. I wonder if it's because of his royal status. Or maybe there is a different cause for her to not be at ease.

Because the man looking at her now may be the only person in all of Illéa who could do something for my dad.

It seems my little sister and brother are the only ones in this family who know how to properly act in social situations.

Aria gives the prince a friendly smile, "hello." Arlan waves as a way of greeting. I feel a tinge of pride at the sight of them. They're 12 and 9 years old respectively but they apparently know better how to be polite than us.

"How are you all doing today?" Okay so he is going to have a chat with us? What have I done to deserve this?

My mom manages to reply, "it's nice to see our Tavi again." Her eyes lock with mine. There is a hint of sadness there, but for the most part her eyes are filled with warmth. Just looking at her reminds me of home.

I reach for her hand and give it a little squeeze, letting her know she is not alone in this situation. Hopefully the gesture takes some of the unease away, even though I myself wish I could run away from this conversation. I don't understand why he felt the need to come over. Couldn't he go have a talk with the girls he actually liked?

I try to relax a little but that's easier said than done. Regardless of how I feel, I know I need to say something at some point. "Allow me to introduce my family. My mom Viola, my sister Aria and my brother Arlan," I say, motioning my hand at each of them even though it's clear who's who.

The prince takes a couple of steps in my family's direction. My eyes follow his every move. If he tries to hurt them in any way, I will ...

But he simply holds out his hand to each of them. My mom first, she shakes his hand. Her eyes shift to me for a split second, the unease is easy to read. Then she lets go of his hand. My siblings shake his hand in turn.

Then he turns to me. It's first time we've had eye contact since that date. "I think later today Hugo has something planned if that's alright."

My heart starts racing right at the moment Hugo’s name leaves his mouth. I can do nothing but stare at the prince. I blink my eyes at him. "Hugo?" I try to discreetly take some deep breaths, willing my heart to slow down. "What kind of plan?"

"I promised I wouldn't tell." I don't know what surprises me more, the fact that the prince is in on this mysterious plan or the smile that is now on his face. I blink my eyes again, perhaps I'm just imagining this? But no, the smile remains. And for some reasons it feels like he knows something. Did someone tell him about that kiss? Did anyone overhear our conversation in the garden? Or perhaps the conversation during our dance?

I glance around the room, scanning every face. But my eyes can't find Hugo.

"Who's Hugo?" Aria's voice fills the silence. How am I going to explain this? I turn back to find her looking at the prince. That's somewhat of a relief, let him explain then. My mom's eyes however have settled on me and when I look at her, I know she's noticed my looking around.

"He's my cousin. He and Tavi are friends."

My gaze immediately shifts to the prince. He's still smiling at my sister. I don’t understand how on earth he would know about this friendship. I know I have never mentioned it to him. So that can only mean ...

"How did you meet him?" Aria asks, her full attention is now on me.

"Uhm," I twirl some hair around my finger, "there was this photography thing."

She opens her mouth to ask more but someone else beats her to it. Arlan asks, "is this your house?"

My little brother, my saviour. I am not ready for an Aria interrogation. Especially not with the prince present. Oh dear god no, that would have been awful.

From the corner of my eye, I see the prince nodding his head at my little brother. "Yeah, it is."

Aria holds my stare. There is a challenge in her eyes, a mischievous grin on her face. I will most certainly hear about this later.

"Cool," Arlan replies, "it's so big."

Yeah especially if you compare to our little house back in Denbeigh.

My mom's voice makes me break the staring contest with Aria. I notice the friendly smile on her face. "I'm sorry, we don't mean to take up all of your time. Other people must want to speak with you as well." I know what she's doing. She's trying to make him leave. Whether it's for her own unease to disappear, or if it's because she's noticed that I'm not the biggest fan of the prince, I don't care. I appreciate the effort and I hope he gets the memo.

"A little too big, huh?" He replies to Arlan, followed by a light chuckle.

And now leave. Please.

He doesn't. He looks at my mom instead and shakes his head. "You aren't at all. It's always a pleasure to meet new people."

I can't believe my own ears. How is this the same person who asked me if I preferred to be called Queen or Princess? He had been such an asshole. Why is he so nice now?

"Do you also have lots of cars?" Arlan's voice is full of excitement and curiosity.

"Yeah we do, down in the garage. Have you been down there yet?" The prince replies, nodding along as he speaks.

Arlan's eyes grow bigger and bigger. "No. Are we allowed to?"

"Well, we should change that. Maybe Tavi and I or Tavi and Hugo can take you down there later." He turns his head in my direction.

I don't understand why he would even suggest that first pairing. Tavi and I. As if that is ever going to happen. You can’t tell me this prince wants to spend more time with me than he has to.

And that second pairing… Why is he bringing Hugo into this again?

I’m very capable of taking my little brother to see the cars without any help. But I do need to find out the general directions to the garage beforehand.

Arlan has gotten up from his chair and is now standing by my side, clutching my arm with his tiny hands. "Please Tavi please please."

My heart aches, I've missed him so much. I muss his hair, "yeah I guess."

The prince chuckles again. Seriously who is this? "Well, then I guess it's settled."

Arlan pushes my hand away and turns to the prince with a huge grin on his face, "cool." I watch him go back to his chair. Mom is smiling at him when he turns to her. "Mom, did you hear that? I get to go see the cars later?"

I turn to look at this friendly prince. I force a smile to my face, if only for making my brother this happy. "Uhm thanks, you just made his day."

He smiles in return, "no problem." He leans down, his head coming closer to mine. This may be the first civil conversation we've had, but that doesn't mean he can enter my personal space. "Hugo does need to see you in a bit though." His voice is a whisper only I can hear.

What is this plan?

I've never been a fan of surprises, or when things being kept hidden from me. Not since I've got the biggest surprise of my life. That day in the court room.

I just want to know everything that's going to happen. Always.

"I'll go find him later then."

I watch the prince nod his head. "Something tells me you'd rather have him meeting your family than me."

I don't tell him he's right though. This is not something I want to discuss with him. Not now, not ever. "What makes you say that?"

He smiles at me. "He's usually pretty straight forward with his feelings."

My cheeks heat immediately. What does this mean? Did Hugo talk to the prince about what happened? Because I'm pretty sure that what happened classified as treason. It doesn't make sense for him to discuss this with the person currently ruling the country, who also happens to be his family. The possibility of being punished looms over me. It feel like some scary monster is breathing down my neck. How am I going to get away with this?

And besides, Hugo never talked to me about whatever this is between us.

I think you make me happy.

That's all I got. Nothing more, nothing less. There are so many ways to interpret that sentence.

Like … Friends can make you happy too.

But he did kiss me back.

I'm overthinking this.

I blink at the prince who is still way to close for my liking. "Feelings?" I glance around the room again, but there is no sign of Hugo.

When I turn back, the prince has pulled away from me and I can finally breath again.

I vaguely hear the conversation between my mom and the prince. They’re talking about their rooms in the palace. Sounds like a safe and neutral conversation topic to me.

My mind keeps getting distracted, repeating the prince’s words over and over again.

Something tells me you'd rather have him meeting your family than me.

He's usually pretty straight forward with his feelings.

“Oh my god! Really?” Aria’s high-pitched voice snaps me out of my thoughts. She’s looking at the prince with heart-eyes, like he is some magical and wonderful fairy tale creature. I can’t help but roll my eyes at her. Sometimes she acts like someone way above her age, but other times I get reminded that she’s still a kid.

The prince laughs. He actually laughs. “Of course.” I take my eyes of my sister and focus on the prince instead. Who is this guy? He looks around the room and when he turns back to look at my siblings his voice is nothing more than a whisper. “Did anyone show you the playroom we have?”

“Playroom,” Aria and Arlan say at the same time. Their voices are filled with excitement.

I’m still watching the prince when he looks in my direction. “Maybe you can have Hugo show them where it is?”

I swear to god. How many times is he going to mention Hugo? If my mom hadn’t noticed it before then she’s surely aware of it now.

“Like now?” I don’t even see Hugo in this room. Do I really have to go find him just to show my siblings where the playroom is? I’m sure he has better things to do.

My siblings however will not let go of the promise of a playroom unless they actually get to visit it. Arlan’s attention is completely on me now, “please, I wanna go to the playroom.”

There is no way I can say no to his sad puppy dog eyes.

“Why can’t you show us?” Aria says to the prince, sounding very disappointed. “I like you better.”

I turn to face my sister, I can’t believe the words that leave her mouth. How can she like the prince? Sure, he has been nice during this chat, but this is legit the first time he’s been like this since I’ve been here.

Maybe he is just pretending to be nice. Trying to make a good impression on our families.

Or maybe he’s just in a good mood.

Who knows?

“I’m sorry, I have to stay here with the other guests. But maybe another time I can come with you.”

A feeling of relief washes over me. My sister however looks like she’s forced to eat the one thing she hates most, broccoli. “Oh okay.”

Mom runs a hand over Aria’s hair, trying to calm her down. I mean it’s not like the world is ending. “I can still take you,” I say as I shoot my sister a look, telling her to get her act together and behave like a normal human being. “If I knew where to go.”

“Oh, if you take a left outside the door it’s the third door on your right.”

I turn to the prince, nodding my head. “Okay thanks, will keep that in mind.”

Left, third door on the right. That’s not too hard.

“I guess we will go have a look,” my mom says, as little Arlan jumps up and down right next to her chair. “It was nice to meet you.” Her voice sounds genuine, but I wonder if she truly means the words.

“It’s been my pleasure. I’m happy you were able to come visit.” The prince has that smile on his face again.

I turn to face my mom instead, knowing very well what’s on her mind. I’m thinking the same thing, this family is missing a member. Two members, if you include my older brother. But I would have personally put Daniel on a plane back to Denbeigh if he would have come here when his wife back home had the flu.

Mom’s eyes become watery, she blinks a couple of times trying to hide it. “Of course, we wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

My heart aches to see my mom like this. I reach for her hand and her eyes find mine. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“The last to reach the door is a loser.” Arlan’s voice is filled with mischief. Aria jumps down her chair, ready to start running.

Before either of them can do so much as blink their eyes, mom has gotten up from her chair and has grabbed them each by their wrist. “Definitely not.” She starts to guide them towards the door, out of the room.

I get up from my chair as well. When I pass the prince, I pat him on his shoulder, “great chat.”

My mom is waiting for me with Aria and Arlan on either side of her.

“Have fun, Tavi.”

I turn around to the prince one last time, “yeah you too.”

« POV switch to Tavi’s mom Viola »

I only let go of Aria and Arlan when we have left the room. They look at each other and run off together. Arlan is way faster than Aria, even though she is 3 years older than him. He would make a great athlete, if he hadn’t been born a Five. “Don’t go too far,” I call after them.

I fall into step with Tavi. My daughter who has always been so well at hiding her true feelings, all of her worries and troubles covered with a mask of calmness. She always tries to stay strong. There are only certain situations when her feelings are too intense to be controlled. Situations that bring back memories. Bad memories.

But seeing her now, she radiates joy and happiness.

Being selected and coming here really brought her back to life. A sparkle has returned in her eyes.

The sparkle that had disappeared 6 years ago.

The image of Caspar’s unconscious body being dragged out of that court room still haunts me every day. Shock had overtaken me then, freezing me in place. The only thing I could do was scream. If I could go back to that moment, I would fight and riot, anything to stop them from taking my husband away from me. But there is no way for me to go back. Not now, not ever. “You just need to give it time,” they all had said. “You’ll get over it.” It’s an easy thing to say if you have no clue what it’s like to lose someone like this.

“The prince seems like a nice guy,” I say, ending the comfortable silence around us.

Tavi scoffs, “yeah I guess.” The tone in her voice tells me that she is not too fond of him. I wonder why that might be.

“You don’t like him?” I ask even though I already know the answer. She had completely frozen up when he approached us during that family reception.

She shakes her head, “no, not really.”

“What about his cousin?” I turn my head a little. I keep my eyes trained on the little rascals running down the hall. I can’t lose them out of sight. They could get lost in this place. How would we ever find them again if that happens?

Her cheeks flush, “what about him?” The smile on her face gives her away. It warms my heart to see her like this, it has been too long and she deserves it.

When Caspar got arrested, he hadn’t been the only thing we lost.

I had lost the meaning of life altogether. Getting out of bed every morning is still a challenge, especially when seeing that the other side of the bed is untouched. It hurts. If it weren’t for my children, I don’t know what would have happened to me.

Tavi had lost her trust in people that day in the court room. Before, she had been such a social girl, always willing to help everyone. But after, the only people she trusted were her closest friends and family. Sometimes.

I reach for her hand, her fingers feel rough against my own skin. She must have continued playing her guitar here. Always striving for perfection.

It has been so quiet in the house without her despite the presence of two young children.

I missed the music she would play on her guitar followed by the occasional shit or fuck whenever she messed up a chord.

I missed the puddles of melting snow she would leave behind around the house, just because she never took of her shoes when coming back home.

I missed the mornings I would find her sleeping on the sofa because she couldn’t make it all the way to her bed after a night out.

I have missed my daughter.

But I know at some point Tavi is going to leave the safety of our home, to start her own life, independent from ours. Just like Daniel had done and just like Aria and Arlan will do some day in the future too.

The hall opens into a space with high ceilings, a wide staircase appearing right in front of us. I notice the hint of a smile on Tavi’s face as her gaze goes over the steps. A good memory perhaps?

“Mom?” Tavi says, as we watch Arlan run around the hallway. Aria is hiding behind one of the flowerpots and when her brother is close enough, she jumps into sight. They both show opposite emotions. Aria is laughing, content with herself that she scared her little brother. Arlan is on the verge of tears, his bottom lip already wobbling. But then he pokes her in the side, causing Aria to bend over. Apparently that was enough to please him because he’s already laughing again.

Kids.

“I think we’re lost.” Tavi chuckles softly. “Well maybe not lost, but we didn’t make it to the playroom.”

And now that she has mentioned it, I realize we were supposed to end in the playroom. The prince had made it sound like a short walk, just around the corner from the room that held the family reception.

“Let’s retrace our steps and start over,” I tell her. This place is very confusing, everything looks the same. And I know my daughter, Tavi is not that good at following directions. “Aria, Arlan! Come here.”

They come running to us right away. They’ve been raised well.

« Back to Tavi’s POV »

We’ve made our way back to the reception room. Okay, now what did that prince say again?

I remember the first part clearly. Take a left outside of the doors.

But the second part is one big blurry memory. Which door was it again? And on which side?

I look to my mom, but she just shrugs. She has no idea either.

Great.

I guess that means I’m going to have to try all the doors then.

The first five doors on the left are all locked. I remember thinking that the directions to the playroom sounded so easy.

The playroom can’t be more than 5 doors away. It just can’t.

I try the other side. The first door opens but to my surprise it’s just a cleaning supply closet. Yeah, definitely not a playroom for kids.

The second door on the right side is locked. What kind of secrets could the royals be hiding behind these doors? Must be something interesting, for them to all be locked. Or perhaps all the rooms are empty.

I open the third door and Arlan pops his head inside first. “Playroom!”

I sigh in relief. Thank god, no more searching. Arlan pushes the door open further and runs in, followed by Aria. I turn to my mom, “I’m sorry, this shouldn’t have taken me this long to find. If only I had listened to …”

She reaches for my hand and squeezes it softly, “Tavi, it’s okay.” She lets go of my hand and walks through the door. “And look they don’t seem to mind either”

I follow her and close the door softly. Aria and Arlan have already found interesting things to play with. Kids. “They could have put up a sign or something. Playroom, this way. That would have made things so much easier.” I sigh. If I had only paid more attention to what the prince was saying. “At least now you got to see …”

“Hi.”

I recognize that voice immediately. It makes me forget what I was even saying to my mom. I turn to find you Hugo standing there. The smile on his face is different from the ones I’ve seen before. He looks a little nervous, perhaps?

“Oh hello,” a smile appears on my face immediately. I can do nothing to stop it.

“How’s your day going?” Hugo glances in a different direction, a smile on his face. When I follow his gaze, I find my siblings sitting on the floor. Aria has all sorts of coloured pencils scattered around her, while Arlan is making vroom vroom sounds as he pushes some little LEGO cars across the floor.

“It has been alright so far, thanks.” I look back at Hugo and tilt my head a little. “How's life for you?” The soft smile on his face as he watches my siblings makes me feel all warm inside. I can’t help but smile myself.

“I’ve been a little bit busy helping my sister move into her new apartment but that’s been fun. How have you been? I’m sure it’s been hectic around here.”

Ah, that explains why I haven’t seen him in the palace lately. I open my mouth to reply, but before I can so much as form a word my mom gasps loudly. I turn my head in the direction of the sound, but she’s already moving in the opposite direction. I quickly turn my head to see where exactly she’s going to.

A new person has entered the room.

What the …

Sunken cheeks and short-shaved hair.

When my mom falls into his arms, tears spill down his cheeks.

I can’t believe my own eyes. He looks different from the way I remember him, but that is still most certainly my dad. A lump forms in my throat, I can’t swallow it down even though I try. My hands start shaking and I feel like I can’t breathe.

He has one arm around my mom, his other arm is still open for me. I run over and his arm closes around me. I rest my head against his shoulder as all the tears I’ve been bottling up for the past 6 years run down my cheeks. There is no use in even trying to stop them, you can’t stop the Niagara Falls either.

Within a second, little arms close around my leg. Aria and Arlan join in on the hug. We are one big emotional mess at this point. My mom is shaking next to me. My dad coming here might have hit her the hardest. She hasn’t seen her husband for 6 years. He tries to soothe her, even when he is having a hard time himself.

My dad doesn’t smell like home anymore, no pinewood and no cinnamon.

His skin looks so fragile, almost the same colour as a piece of paper.

Denbeigh isn’t a province with a lot of sunshine, but our skins look tanned compared to his. It looks like he hasn’t seen the sun in a very long time. 6 years perhaps? He has lost some weight, his cheeks are a little sunken. Same with his eyes. But the warmth and love in his gaze as he looks at us is still there. At least they hadn’t taken that away from him.

I feel the soft pressure of a hand landing on my shoulder, followed by a whisper. “I can step out into the hall to give you some privacy.”

Hugo’s voice reminds me of the prince’s words from earlier.

I think later today Hugo has something planned if that's alright.

Hugo does need to see you in a bit though.

I let go of my family and wiggle out of the tangled mess of arms. “You did this?” Tears are still escaping from my eyes when I turn to look at Hugo. I try to wipe them away, but there’s too many of them and they’re falling way too fast. “This was your plan?”

The tears make my vision go blurry so I can’t really see the expression on his face. But the concern is very present in his voice. “Arin helped make it happen.”

I quickly close the distance between us and wrap my arms around him. “Thank you.” My voice is hoarse and shaky as more tears run down my cheeks. I can’t believe someone would ever do something like this for me and my family.

Hugo’s arms close around me and it’s the nicest feeling in the entire world. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It's okay,” I manage to get out despite the lump still being very present in my throat. There are so many emotions going through me right now. There is sadness as I realize how much I’ve missed my dad. I can still see his body being dragged out of the courtroom. I wasn’t able to do nothing but watch as a guard held me back. But there is also happiness flowing through me. It feels so great to see my dad, to hug him again. To know that he’s still alive.

Hugo keeps hugging me, holding me close until the worst of my shaking is over. When he lets go, I’ve got myself somewhat under control. The Niagara Falls running down my cheeks have dried up. I wipe the last of my tears away. My eyes are probably all puffy and red.

What a sight.

I don’t care.

“Do you want to be alone?” Hugo asks softly. I look up to find him watching my family. Mom is clutching on to my dad’s arm. She is not going to let go of him for the short time they now have together.

One final tear escapes, I reach up and quickly wipe it away. “But you haven't met them yet.” This may very well be the only opportunity for anyone to meet my dad face-to-face. My heart aches at the thought of him being locked up in St. George again. I hope we’ll get another chance to see him in the future.

“Octavia?” It’s the first thing my dad has said since he entered the room. He’s the only person in the world who calls me by my full name. The only exception being the people who called me Lady Octavia, but I had made sure to put an end to that as soon as possible.

Every time someone called me Octavia made me think of my dad and that was just too much to handle.

I go to stand by my dad’s side and he puts an arm around me. Why can’t he stay with us forever? I clear my throat softly, hoping my voice will sound normal again. “This is my dad Caspar, my mom Viola, Aria, and here's Arlan.” I place a hand on my younger brother’s head. His hair is still sticking out in all possible direction from when I had mussed it earlier.

Dad pulls his arm away from where it had been resting on my shoulder and holds his hand out for Hugo to shake. There is a slight hint of hesitation on my dad’s face, like he’s prepared for a rejection.

“I’m Hugo, it’s nice to meet you sir.” I watch them shake hands. The gesture may seem small, but it means a lot to me. And by the way my dad’s shoulders relax, I can tell it also means a lot to him.

He’s a well-known criminal, locked up for murder. I’d understand if people would feel uncomfortable shaking his hand. But Hugo does it anyway, without flinching, without hesitating. My heart swells with happiness.

“Likewise.” Dad reaches for mom’s hand and intertwines their fingers. “I can't thank you enough for doing this for us.”

A couple of weeks ago I had told Brooke that I believe in soulmates. Seeing my parents right here and now, holding hands with their fingers intertwined, is all the proof I need. Even after 6 years of separation, with no face-to-face contact, the love is still there. They are soulmates.

I nod my head in agreement, “same.” I keep my eyes on my parents. My dad is creating little circles on the palm of mom’s hand with his thumb. Her face lights up. There is nothing but love in her eyes when she looks at her husband.

“No thanks is needed. This isn’t about me at all.”

I shake my head, Hugo doesn’t seem to realize just how much this means to any of us. To me. We have been saving money for years, but we are still nowhere near the amount needed for the plane tickets. And now he’s here. “All thanks are needed.”

Dad lets go of mom’s hand and kneels on the floor. Aria and Arlan immediately throw their arms around him. “Look how much you've grown.” The last time he saw them, Aria had been 6 years old and Arlan had been 3.

He hadn’t been there to see them grow up. He had been ripped away from us.

I bite down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying again. I don’t want to spend the little time we’ve been given with my dad, feeling sad and crying.

A soft touch on my hand distracts me from the feelings trying to drown me again. I look down to find my hand covered by Hugo’s. A small smile appears on my face. Again, such a small gesture, but it gives me the comfort I need.

“I've heard a lot about you, Hugo.” My mom’s words make me blush. What is she insinuating? That I talk about him all the time? Because that is not true. I might have mentioned him a couple of times during our phone calls, but I never gave her many details. “The prince mentioned you a couple of times when we met him. You seem like a good friend for our Tavi.” The smile on her face when she looks at Hugo is genuine.

I feel his head turn in my direction and when I look up, he’s smiling at me. “You've mentioned me? I hope it wasn't about what happened on the stairs.”

It surprises me that he’s bringing this up now. The memory of that day comes back to mind, it makes me laugh. One of my favourite memories of my time here. “Of course not. What would they think of you when they hear about my great victory?”

“What happened on the stairs?” Of course Aria is the one asking for more information. She has always been very nosy. If she hadn’t been born a Five, and if we hadn’t gone through such awful experiences with that specific profession in the past, she would have made a great journalist one day.

“I slid down the bannister with your sister but then I fell.”

From the corner of my eye I see my parents sharing a look. When I turn to them, their expression says it all. What did you do now? But they don’t seem to be disappointed or angry. The corners of my dad’s mouth are slightly curled upwards, while my mom has raised her eyebrows. They are surprised but they seem pleased to hear I’m having some sort of fun here.

Aria’s laughter fills the air, “you fell?” What happened to little miss I like the prince better? She seems to have forgotten about his existence altogether.

“And let's not forget to mention that it was a race and I won.” I tuck some hair behind my ear, smiling brightly. Winning that bannister thing has definitely been my greatest accomplishment here. That does remind me of something else, a minor detail that had somehow slipped from my mind. I turn to Hugo and softly whisper so only he can hear, “you still owe me a song for that by the way.”

Hugo laughs, a sound I will never get enough of. He whispers back, “I don’t think you’ll ever let me forget.” He turns to my parents, his voice at a normal intensity again. “She beat me before I fell.”

I can’t help but whisper something back. “I will remind you for as long as you'll keep me around.”

When I focus back on my family again, my dad is smiling at me. It’s nice to see him in a good mood, like he’s forgetting about the jail situation for a minute. I smile back but then my attention goes to my younger siblings. Aria nudges Arlan with her elbow before looking up at mom. “Can we do it too?”

Arlan clutches onto mom’s leg, “mom please?”

She looks down at the two of them. She also has a smile on her face. This is such a good day for the Hayes family. She softly bops each of them on their noses. “Maybe another time, okay?”

Aria and Arlan look a bit upset, but thankfully they don’t cause a scene.

A soft whisper only meant for my ears, “it’s okay, I’ll win next time.” As if. And then he says to my younger siblings. “The banisters aren’t going anywhere, don’t worry.” My heart might actually melt.

I shake my head to emphasize my whispered words, “no you won't.”

“Tavi.” When I turn to look up at him, I notice the hint of a blush on his face. “They're looking at us.” He murmurs the words, but I get the message loud and clear.

Indeed, when I look at my parents, I find their eyes on us. “Oh,” I take a small step away from Hugo, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable in any way. He literally just met my parents.

Arlan and Aria appear to be in the middle of a poking competition. I know how this is going to end, one of them will be upset while the other is feeling content. Mom knows it too. She breaks them up before they can hurt each other. “I think we may need to go entertain these rascals.”

My dad words my very thoughts. “Before this ends in tears.”

Arlan looks up at my mom, the poking competition with his sister has already been forgotten. He pats her on the knee. “Can we go do something fun now?”

Mom bops him softly on his nose. “Yes honey, we're going now.”

That’s all the information my siblings needed. They share a look and start running towards the door. Aria is the first to arrive and she sticks out her tongue at Arlan. “You're the loser now.” Kids.

“It was a pleasure meeting you.” My dad says as he reaches for my mom’s hand, intertwining their fingers again. I can only wish to find a love like theirs one day.

“You as well, sir.” And to my mom, Hugo says, “it was nice to meet you too.” That earns him a smile from her.

My dad’s eyes land on me, “Octavia, are you coming with us?” He raises an eyebrow, “or are you staying here?”

I feel my cheeks heat up again, understanding fully well what he’s insinuating. Staying here with Hugo. I shake my head quickly, “no no, I'm coming with you.” But not yet. “One second though.”

My mom chuckles softly as she pulls dad with her towards to the door. I turn to Hugo, “thank you, really. I don't know how I can ever repay you for this.”

This is by far the nicest and most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me and my family. It means the absolute world to me.

He watches my parents leave. As soon as the door falls shut, he reaches for my hand. “You never have to. Your happiness is all I could ask for.”

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Or maybe both. At the same time. I look down, his hand has closed around mine. “I'll be grateful forever.”

“Forever is a long time.”

Those words make me question whether I said the wrong thing. I didn’t mean to make it sound like literally forever. I meant it just to show how much today means to me and that I will never forget about it. But I still feel like I said something wrong, so instead I go for a bit of a lighter tone. “Remember what I said about the afterlife? How my ghost is going to find your ghost to talk about the bannister thing?” I stop talking, trying to order my thoughts. I’m rambling and perhaps whatever I’m saying doesn’t make any sense. I need to get to my point. “My ghost will also remind you of how thankful I am.”

He laughs and relief floods over me, at least he understands that I was joking. “I hope that’s a promise.” Or maybe not?

I tear my gaze away from our hands and look up instead. The soft smile on Hugo’s face makes me forget how to talk. My mind goes absolutely blank. “Really?” My voice is barely more than a whisper.

He squeezes my hand and it reminds me that this is really happening. It’s not a dream. “Really. I promise.”

The smile on my face keeps growing bigger and bigger. I didn’t think it was possible for one person to make me feel this happy, but here we are. “Hugo.” I bring my free hand up and tuck some hair behind my ear. “I like you.” A lot. I swallow that last bit down. It’s stupid to even bring this up with the selection going on and that contract and treason. But I know in my heart that what  is true.

“I like you too.” His voice is a whisper and I wonder if I even heard him correctly. But the soft expression on his face supports the words I think I’ve heard. “And I like seeing you happy,” he adds as his eyes go to the ground.

My heart starts racing and I feel like crying again. But this time it’s not a combination of sadness and happiness. No. If I’d allow myself to cry right now, it would only be happy tears. But if I start crying now, I might never stop. “You cause most of my happiness.” I keep quiet for a second, giving myself the opportunity to realize what is happening. “You deserve to be happy too.”

Hugo looks back up at me again, searching my face for something. I can only blink, having no clue what it is he’s looking for. “Right now I've never been happier.”

I bite down on the inside of my cheek as the intense urge to kiss him fills my entire body. I really want to kiss him. But the one thing I want more is for him to kiss me first this time. I keep biting down on my cheek, that spot will be sensitive for a couple of days now. When I feel like I’ve got myself under control, I allow myself to speak. “I'm glad to hear that.”

He squeezes my hand, then softly says, “I wish I could capture the way your eyes light up when you're happy.”

I didn’t know my eyes did that. No one has ever mentioned it before, or maybe that’s because I can’t remember the last time I had truly felt happy. And the happiness surging through me now is a feeling I’ve never felt before. I chuckle softly, not really knowing what to say to that. I’m not used to these kind words. “Maybe you should take a mental picture then.”

Hugo squeezes my hand once again, “I already have.”

These 3 words cause an error in my brain and I don’t know what to say. My face heats up right away, turning bright red. That must be such a wonderful sight to see. I take a little step closer to Hugo and when I’m close enough I rest my head against his chest. “I don't know how to respond to that.”

He lets go of my hand and wraps his arms around me. “It’s okay, you don’t have to. This right here is enough.”

I like this, being here with him. I feel warm and appreciated and safe and all because of him. Any tension in body disappears, my muscles relax and I let out a breath. I don’t want this moment to end. But then I remember my parents, who are probably still waiting for me just outside of that door. “I should probably go and entertain my family.” I don’t move though, I’m not ready for this to end.

Hugo nods his head. I don’t see it, but I can feel the slightest movement of his body as his head goes up and down. The words he says don’t match his actions. “Will you wait just a little longer?”

“Only because you asked so nicely.” I chuckle softly. What’s another few minutes. And besides, my mom and dad get some nice one-on-one time now that I’m distracted elsewhere. Though that also depends on what Aria and Arlan are doing but, knowing them, they’re probably running around the hallways.

He huffs a laugh. “I don’t think there’s another way to ask. Especially when it comes to you.”

There are many ways to ask actually. All with a different vibe hidden behind the words, but I don’t point it out. I put my arms around him instead, holding on tight. “What do you mean? Especially when it comes to me?”

Hugo laughs a little, “I just don’t think there’s another way to ask. How could anyone every consider being anything but nice to you?”

“I can name a few people.” And right on top of that list would be the wonderful prince Arin. He had not been nice to me with his awful words. And I had not been nice to him when I had aimed that paintball gun at him, still hurt by what he had said during the car ride. Perhaps if I didn’t hold grudges like that, my life would be so much more enjoyable. I sigh, “but I haven't been the nicest to them either, even if some of them deserved it.” There were also a lot of people who hadn’t deserved my yelling. Leana for example. I had pushed my pride aside and apologized to her and now I might even consider her a friend.

“We all have our moments. No one is perfect.”

“I'd like to believe that yes.” I let go of Hugo a little when I realize just how tight I’ve been hugging him. “But I have those not-so-nice-moments at times.” Though I must admit that I haven’t been in a bad mood at all recently. I wonder why that might be?

“Not every moment has to be good.” He steps away a bit. “If anything the bad moments just make the good moments feel more special.”

“Yeah okay,” I nod my head a little, wanting to close this new distance between us. “I guess you have a point.”

Hugo reaches up and brushes some hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. My heart is racing again. “And right now is a good moment.”

I look up at him and my eyes lock with his. I feel so many things all at once. But I’m sure of one thing: today might very well be the best day of my life. “Hmmm I'm not so sure it's a good one to be honest.”

He raises his eyebrows and for a short moment there is concern in his eyes before he realizes I’m joking. “What would make it better?”

“Hmm,” I pretend to think about it, even when I already know my answer. I shrug instead, “I don’t know.” I have to bite down on my lip to supress the strong wanting to kiss him. I might very well repeat what happened during the ball if I don’t stop myself.

But I actually want him to kiss me first now.

A little blush spreads all over his face. He leans down and kisses my cheek gently.

When he pulls back again, I poke his chest softly with my finger. “Hm interesting.” I don’t know how I manage to keep my voice this calm, because there is utter chaos inside of me. I feel anything but calm. “All of a sudden the moment becomes a little bit better.”

Hugo lets out a small laugh. “I try my best.”

Hearing his laugh again makes me smile. I stand up on my tiptoes, no longer able to stop myself from kissing him. But then in the last moment, the destination changes and my kiss lands on his cheek.

When I stand down on the floor again, I look up at him. Hugo’s eyes have gone wide and he’s not moving at all. He looks like a statue. The sight of him makes me laugh, “what?”

His face turns a little bit more red. “I just wasn’t expecting you to do that.”

“Oh,” I raise my eyebrows playfully. “You didn't like it?”

The smile he gives me is a little bashful, but I like it. He looks so cute. “No, I liked it.”

“Okay, I will keep that in mind then.” I’m having a very hard time controlling myself, I don’t know why I even try. I just want to kiss him.

I softly poke his chest 4 times.

Please.

Kiss.

Me.

Now.

He leans down, placing another kiss on my cheek. When he pulls away, he has a weird expression on his face. I try to read it, but I can’t. I raise my eyebrows at him as I’m trying to make sense of the look he’s giving me. “What's that face?”

Hugo doesn’t reply. Instead he leans down again. I’m prepared for another kiss on the cheek but then his lips find mine. It surprises me but in a good way.

My hands stay on his chest as I kiss him back. I can feel his heartbeat right under my hand. Or maybe I’m wrong and it’s my own heart as it continues beating, the frequency increasing with every second that passes. I close my hands and gently pull him closer to me by the soft fabric of his shirt.

Hugo’s hands go up to cup my cheeks, holding me in place. As if I would go anywhere. Besides to the floor maybe if the muscles in my legs decide to go mushy.

But there honestly is no place I’d rather be right now.

He lowers one of his hands to my neck, while the other stays where it is.

His fingers softly touch the skin in my neck, sending a new sensation through my entire body.

He pulls away and that is probably for the better because I need to catch my breath. My heart continues thundering in my chest. “See, now that was a good moment.” I open my hands to let go of his shirt. The fabric is now wrinkled where my hands had been just a minute ago. I try to smooth it over, willing the wrinkles to disappear.

“Like all the moments I've had with you. Even when I fell,” he says, laughing a bit breathlessly.

The memory comes back. I had been an amateur without any experience. I had risked my life when sliding down that bannister. Yet somehow I had survived without a scratch. The same couldn’t be said about the supposed expert. I shake my head a little, laughing softly at the memory. “How was that a good moment?”

“We found your iPod, didn't we?” Hugo shrugs.

“Correction: you found my iPod. I thought you had gone crazy and you were seeing things that weren't really there.”

A weird grimace appears on his face, one I can’t quite place. “Maybe, but if it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have slid down the bannister in the first place.”

I poke his chest softly again, right above the still wrinkled fabric. “You were the one to challenge me to do that.”

He nods, “yeah, I was. But I think I learned my lesson.”

I drop my hands, letting my arms rest by my side. I fidget the fabric of my dress between my fingers. “No more bannister sliding for you?”

“Well, not after I let your brother and sister beat me at it.” Hugo raises his eyebrows at me.

My heart melts quicker than the sun could melt a snowman. I didn’t think he would have remembered that part of the conversation. Or that he would be willing to do that for my siblings. “Really?”

“Yes,” he nods his head. “It's frowned upon to beat children.”

Oh. Is it frowned upon to beat children? Whenever I play boardgames with Aria and Arlan, I never let them win. Maybe it’s because I’m a pretty competitive person and I always want to win myself. I prefer to lose a fair and honest game than to win because someone else lets me win.

I shake my head, because that wasn’t what I meant. “I didn't realize you would actually do that for them. And just so you know, they're very much like me. They will never shut up about their grand victory.” Aria legit brings up the times she beat me at Uno even though that has happened months ago.

“Well, I can admire their dedication I guess.” His eyes shift to something behind me. The door. “I think our just-a-little-longer is up.”

“Yeah you're probably right.” I turn to look at the door. I have no clue how long they have been waiting for me, but I do know it’s been longer than the one second I promised. “I should go.”

Hugo takes a step away from me, creating a distance between us. “Have fun for me?”

“Of course.” A smile appears on my face immediately. “Thank you. For everything.” I don’t think I will ever stop saying those words.

He smiles at me in return, a sparkle in his eyes. “I’ll see you later, Tavi.”

I turn and head for the door. Once I’ve reached it, I look back at Hugo one more time. “Bye.”

He raises his hand to wave, murmuring a bye in return.

I open the door and quickly slip out of the playroom, softly closing the door behind me. To my surprise the only one in the hallway waiting for me is Aria. She has mischievous grin on her face. “Where are mom and dad?” I ask her.

“Dad wanted some fresh air, so they went to the gardens.” She keeps smirking at me, “you said one second. But you were in there for at least 15 minutes. What were you doing?”

I start walking in the direction of the big entry hall. Maybe if I’m quick enough, Aria will be so busy trying to keep up that she forgets to ask questions. “Nothing, just thanking him for bringing dad here.”

My plan doesn’t work. My younger sister is practically running but that doesn’t seem to bother her, she can keep up with me quite easily. “That’s not what I heard.”

I grab her by her arm and force her to stop walking, turning her in such a way that she’s facing me. “You were eavesdropping?” Oh god, did she listen to everything? Did she hear everything?

She narrows her eyes, the smirk is still on her face. She purses her lips and makes multiple kissing sounds.

“Aria!” I glance around the hallway. If someone hears her, I might be in big trouble. I let go of Aria’s arm and start walking again, trying to remove myself from this situation.

“Tavi and Hugo sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S …”

My cheeks heat up, “Aria, shut it!”

She doesn’t listen to me. “… I-N-G!”

I throw in a desperate attempt to keep her quiet. “I will tell everyone about what you wrote in your diary if you don’t stop.” The truth is I had only read a few pages and not the entire thing, but she doesn’t need to know that now.

Aria crosses her arms, scoffing. But when I look in her direction, I notice her eyes have gone a little bigger and there is a hint of fear there. “That was private.”

I raise my eyebrows at her. She doesn’t seem to realize that she had been eavesdropping on a private matter too. But she does keep quiet now for which I’m glad. Though I’m sure this isn’t the last I’ve heard of it. She will definitely bring it up later again, but that’s a problem for future me.

We find the rest of our family outside, enjoying the beautiful flowers on this warm summer day.

“Can we go to the beach?”

We spend the rest of the day on the beach, enjoying the salty air. Aria and Arlan have taken off their shoes. They’re jumping over the waves.

Dad shows us his gun shot wound. It hasn’t healed nicely at all, he’ll have to live with that ugly scar forever.

“How did they get a gun inside?” I ask. It makes no sense to me. I thought prisons are supposed to have strict security protocols and a gun is not something you can smuggle in very easily.

“One of the officers got paid by an inmate to bring in all sorts of contraband.” There is worry in his eyes. “Drugs, cigarettes, cell phones, and guns.”

And that is supposed to be a maximum-security prison. I don’t know how my dad survived 6 years in that place. A lump forms in my throat as the realization hits me that he might not make it till the end of his sentence. Especially with those corrupted officers there. It sounds like hell.

I run my fingers through the warm sand. “Did they find that officer?”

Dad nods his head, “They did. Even started an internal investigation. Four other officers got fired as well. They forced inmates to deal drugs for them.”

I let out a breath. There is so much going wrong in this country. If only someone would do something about it.

For some time, the only sound we hear is the crashing of the waves as they wash up on the beach and the screeching of seagulls as they fly high above us in the sky. We watch Arlan fall face first into the water, his clothes completely soaked. Mom gets up to see if he’s okay. When she gets close to him, Arlan starts splashing water at her. Her laugh fills the air as she splashes water at him back.

I grab something out of my pocket. Something I keep with me at all times now, in fear of losing it again. I untangle the earphones and then hold them out to my dad. “Want to hear some of my band’s music?”

Five Whispers, our band, has been together for a little over 3 years now. But with my dad being gone, he has never heard us play. “I thought you’d never ask.”

He puts the earphones in as I switch on my iPod. I scroll through the list of albums until I find our own one. I select the first song, Back to Yesterday. It’s a song about wanting to go back to the happy moments in your past. Reliving those joyful memories over and over again.

I watch my dad as he listens to the song. He bobs his head on the beat. When the song ends, he looks over at me and he is silent for a second, tears in his eyes. “I’m so proud of you, Octavia. Look at all that you’ve achieved.”

Hearing him say those words, breaks something inside me. A tear falls down my cheek. I quickly reach up to wipe it away.

The next song starts playing, Toothpicks and Whiskey. This one is about friendship, how unusual things sometimes just work together. I think of my best friends, Lola and Gina. My bandmembers, Felix, Gill and Bjorn. I miss them all so much.

“Great bass riff,” my dad says as he puts his arm around my shoulders. “How long did it take you to master it?”

“Long!” I laugh at the memory of so many frustrations as I kept messing it up. I was so close to throwing my guitar out of a window. But I had kept going. Trying time and time again, until the muscles in my arms were so sore, I could barely move them anymore.

We spend the rest of the day at the beach. Talking, listening to more music, or just simply enjoying each other’s company.

Why can’t we stay like this forever?

Why does my dad have to leave again?

*****

I find myself in the library with a collection of law books piled on the table in front of me. My family is still here but given that my mom and dad also haven’t seen each other in 6 years I feel like they deserve some privacy. I left Arlan and Aria in the playroom on my way to the library. It’s all they seemed to care about anyway.

Now that my dad is here and he has told some stories about life in prison, my motivation to help him has quadrupled. He really needs to get out of that place. I don’t know how he would survive the remainder of his sentence. Another 39 years.

I’ve read the same sentence at least 5 times now, but the words still don’t make any sense. Why can’t these authors, or whoever puts these books together, write clear descriptions, instead of all these difficult and confusing words. What’s the point of writing books if no one is going to understand anything in the text?

“Hello! Octavia, is it?”

I quickly place a finger on the confusing sentence I had just been reading. When I look up an unknown man is standing near my table, his hands behind his back. There is a polite smile on his face.

“Uhm yeah. Hi?”

The man seems friendly enough, though I can’t say I’ve ever seen his face before. He extends a hand towards me. “Aran Jacobson, Reggie's uncle?” Reggie? Reggie? Oh right, Leana’s friend. “Sorry if I'm interrupting.”

“Oh it's okay.” I shake his hand. “Can I help you with something?”

He smiles again, shaking his head. “No, not really.” His gaze lands on the pile of books in front of me. “I just never know if I should warn people against getting into law, or not.”

“Oh,” I raise my eyebrows in curiosity. “Why would people need to be warned for that?” I can think of a couple of reasons, especially after everything that happened with my dad. I feel like the law was stretched a little thin when he got arrested that day in the court room. Or perhaps the judge found some loopholes he could use to his own advantage.

“It's just more fun on TV, trust me.” Mister Jacobson chuckles a little. He tilts his head, “but you're the musician right?”

I blink at him in surprise. I mean I guess he’s right, I just wasn’t aware that my entire existence can be summarized in two single words. The musician. “I guess I am the musician, yeah.” I shake my head a little as I continue speaking, “no career switch, I'm just trying to expand my knowledge.” I pat the pile of books I’ve collected. Some dust flies upwards as my hand comes down on the covers.

Mister Jacobson clears his throat. “I happen to be a lawyer myself. Mostly Pro Bono cases lately...” Oh. Oh. “I hope you don't mind me bringing it up, but I read about your father.” The smile he gives me is sympathetic. “I'm sorry that happened.”

“Oh.” I look down at the law books. This is not a situation I want to be in. Firstly, because the man is a lawyer. I can hear the rejections from all the lawyers back in Denbeigh again as they pointed us to the door. Helping you would hurt our reputation. Or it’s no use fighting a battle that’s already lost. And secondly because he mentions my dad. I don’t know what he has read but it couldn’t have been pretty. “Yeah.”

He pulls a chair out and sits down. “Is it alright if I ask a couple questions?”

I let out a breath. “Why?” The pages of the book move a little as I run my fingers over it. The paper is so smooth. No tears. No wrinkles.

“Well, I read the case. And some things didn't quite... add up.”

I look back up again. Some things didn’t quite add up. Could this man possibly be on my side? My dad’s side? “Like what?”

Mister Jacobson bobs his head. “Like, there was no trail. He just happened to be in the courtroom for an unrelated case. Not to mention there's no note of any reason why he should be located so far away.”

The things he’s saying, his words, are exactly what I’ve been wondering about for years now. I could never make sense of any of it all. And people had not been the most willing to help me. “No one wanted to tell me why he had to go to St. George, I've asked so many people.”

He frowns at that, “I see.” Something about his expression changes, “does he have a lawyer?”

I shake my head, feeling a little embarrassed. I’m aware that the first step, and probably the most important one, would be to hire a lawyer. But that was easier said than done. “No, he doesn't have one.”

I watch mister Jacobson as his hand goes to his pocket. When his hand comes back to the table, there is something in it. A business card. He smiles a little as he holds it out to me. “I would love to help.”

Why would anyone want to help us? Especially now. After 6 years. I don’t understand. I take his little card anyway and flip it over in my hand. “Really?”

“I won't make false promises, yet I think it's at least possible to get him relocated closer by.”

I close my hand around the card, I’m never going to let go of this. “That would already mean a lot.” A transfer. While I don’t know what the other prisons in Illéa are like, I’m sure they can’t be worse than the hell hole they have been holding him in for the past 6 years. A transfer would also mean my family would get the opportunity to go visit him. Perhaps that would make the remainder of his sentence a little more bearable.

“Good.” When I look back up again, mister Jacobson is smiling. “Then I suggest you discuss it with your family, or legal guardian,” he nods to his business card in my hand, “before giving me a call or sending me a message.” His expression turns a little more serious. “Then we can go over the files, the options,” his gaze goes to my pile of law books, “and any personal notes you might have.”

I’m not sure my personal notes would make much of a difference. “Okay, thank you.” A small smile appears on my face. I can’t believe there is finally someone willing to help us.

He pushes himself up from the chair. “I'll hear from you then.” He smiles at me kindly. Perhaps not all lawyers are insensitive assholes. “Good luck, Octavia.” A second later he snaps his fingers, quite a loud sound in the silent library. “And see you at dinner of course!”

“Thank you again.” I bring one hand up and tuck some hair behind my ear. “Enjoy the rest of your stay here.”

“Likewise.” He nods a goodbye with a polite smile on his face before he turns to leave.

I focus back on the book laying open in front of me, I’ve lost the part I had been reading before mister Jacobson arrived. My left hand is still closed around his business card.

He probably has no idea that he has just given me one of the greatest gifts of all time.

A glimmer of hope.