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Baelz: It blows my mind that nature pre-sliced oranges for usโฆ like, she wants us to eat them.
Calli: Okay, but why would nature make the inside so sweet, when the outside is so tough and sour?
Baelz: Kinda like you...
Calli: Oh, shit... am I an orange?
IRyS: Are you two drunk?
Baelz: โฆOkay, yes, but it's still crazy about oranges, right?
Calli, fighting back tears: IRyS, I'm an orange. I've never felt more seen!
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[The CHADCast girls are taking viewer-submitted questions]
Calli, reading a submission: "Is it possible to be addicted to tabasco sauce? I put tabasco on everything. I think it may be unhealthy, but I just can't stop. I went to my local community center but they said they didn't have any programs for my type of addiction. I don't know where to turn and my mouth is on fire. Heeelp."
Calli: Hey, um, I gotโฆ y'know, a small suggestion that you may find helpful. Stop eating so much fucking tabasco sauce.
IRyS: If you see yourself opening the cap, um, of a large bottle of tabasco, don't do that and go do something else instead.
Baelz: I am gonna throw out, though, here's my thought - if all he's been doing is putting tabasco sauce on everything and, like, burning his mouth, everything's gonna taste like cardboard now. Like wet, nothing cardboard.
Calli: So sue me, itโs October in Overworldian Japan, I'd like to live on island time for a day. Cut me some slack.
Baelz: We have Spotify open right now on our computer. Do you want us to blast you? Do you want us to put you on blast? Because I got your history right here in the sidebar:
IRyS, growing increasingly angry: โTake it Backโ by Jimmy Buffett, โNautical Wheelersโ by Jimmy Buffett, โJolly Mon Singโ by Jimmy Buffett, โSteamerโ by Jimmy Buffett, โTreat Her Like a Ladyโ by Jimmy Buffett, โMaรฑanaโ by Jimmy Buffett, โWhen Salome Plays the Drumโ by JAMES BUFFETT, โHavana Daydreamingโ by Jimmy Buffett-
Baelz: What the FUCK happened to you? Are you HAUNTED? Are you fucking POSSESSED? YOU USED TO BE OUR FRIEND!
[The CHADCast girls are taking viewer-submitted questions]
IRyS, reading a submission: "My long-time friend of twenty years has turned into a bitter jerk in the last year. How can I get him back to his old self again?โ
Baelz: A frying pan to the head.
Calli: Yeah. Drop something heavy on him.
IRyS: I'm IRyS, the best witch.
Calli: Uh, I'm Calliope Mori. I'm okay- I do okay, uh, as far as witching goes. I'm neither top nor bottom. Um, I would say I am a mediocre witch.
Baelz: I'm Baelz Hakos, I'm a sandwich.
Calli: I get it!
IRyS: Very good, Bae.
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IRyS: Can I be honest with you guys for a second?
Baelz: That suggests everything youโve said up until now has been a lie. And youโve said a lot of things. Itโs like when someone starts a sentence with โDonโt take this the wrong wayโ. Guess what, I already did.
Calli: Yeah, same thing if people start a sentence by saying โYouโre gonna hate me for saying thisโ. Guess what? Already do.
