#ch 251

first of all, ouch. second of all, how dare you. and third of all, ouch இ௰இ

this is one of the changes from the novel that, while i don't completely agree with it, i do acknowledge it makes the even more impactful.

don't misunderstand me! lloyd's entry for arcos' death in the novel is heartbreakingly sad, just look at it

[This is the first time I have chosen to write in a journal. I am sad. The count got into an accident. He was simply enjoying horseback riding like usual. He was riding through a path he often enjoyed taking. Who would've imagined that a weasel would appear and surprise the horse into suddenly jumping? Who would've imagined the count would fall off and hit a tree branch on the neck? The physician says we should wait and see, but... I'm not so sure. I'm just sad.] Flip. [The count woke up after a day. He says he can't feel anything below his neck. But he forced a smile and tried to calm everyone down. He said that he was fine. That it doesn't hurt because he can't feel anything. That he's comfortable since he's on his back all day. He flashed a bright smile. And those were his last words. Right now, the countess is quietly weeping in secret. To be honest, I want to cry too. However, I should go out and comfort her first.]

like i said. heartbreaking.

however. making lloyd watch as it happened?? absolutely evil. i love it <33

i do think marbella's is sadder in the novel tho :((

like

this is fine. but.

[The countess doesn't talk anymore. She doesn't say a word. She no longer smiles and tends to her garden. I picked up the trowel for her lest the overlooked flowers wilt. I hope the freesias bloom beautifully this year and lessen her grief.] Flip [The freesias have bloomed pretty. But the countess can't see them. In the morning, I knew that something was wrong when I heard Emily scream. No one would have thought that the kitchen once filled with everyone's laughter would be where she passed. No one knew until last night. Could it be that she missed the count, who passed away before her. I must call Julian. He should be in the capital. Now our manor, once warm, feels cold a desolate.]

this is better. imo.

i just,,, lloyd tending to marbella's garden,,, picking up where arcos left because he's not there anymore to help her,,,, hoping the flowers will be beautiful that year so she won't be as sad anymore,, and then the reveal that she won't see them any way because she's gone, they're both gone and now their home, lloyd's home, is cold and lonely, empty of the people he loved.

(also i take so much offense to the idea that lloyd would've missed julian's funeral for being 'out of sorts'. he didn't know. he didn't fucking know. he tried to get julian to come home, he wrote to him and when he didn't get an answer he sent ggoming to get him but it was too late, julian was already dead, he was already gone and lloyd never got to see his little brother again. he held his parents' funeral and then held his little brother's and then he tried so hard to comfort sheherazade and even tried to get her to move back home because he was worried something would happen to her. he didn't fucking miss julian's funeral.)