May 3, 2017
Eeeeey my friend Ceph is doing a playthrough of Portal Stories: Mel!Â
GEE I WONDER WHO INFLUENCED (pestered) HIM TO MAKE A VIDEO SERIES OF THIS MOD!
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Eeeeey my friend Ceph is doing a playthrough of Portal Stories: Mel!Â
GEE I WONDER WHO INFLUENCED (pestered) HIM TO MAKE A VIDEO SERIES OF THIS MOD!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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No Sunday Night Vlog Yesterday
I had family over all day and had to go to sleep early for the paper route.
Yesh, I'm delivering papers now over the summer!
I'm just about done school which, after, will give me more time to shoot out videos and more exciting things!
Stay tuned on my channel for a vlog, coming soon to get in touch with all of you again and I'll have some exciting news to share with you all!
I'm so excited and hyped to be almost done school!
Take care and love you all! :3
~CephasRed
Go watch my friend Cephie's fun little LP of the old Duck Tales game, and relive your childhood at the same time!
A look back...or...the overwhelming sense that I've pissed people off.
This whole year has been a struggle, and by struggle I mean emotional-wise.
For the first few months of making Red's blog I wanted him to be seen as a lovable pony with good character, good thoughts and good feelings.
It was okay for the first few months but as the months went on, I had an uncontrollable urge to be depressed and think that no one liked me: here where I live and here on Tumblr. All through the spring it's been an on and off thing where I feel upbeat and happy one day and then sad and bummed out the next.
For you, my friends and followers, I need to explain what has happened in my life for you all to understand my position.
For 22 years, that's right, 22 years, all I ever did was make others happy and never attend to my own desires and behaviors. I pushed myself aside to the point that I wasn't allowed to be happy unless others around me were happy. I had a very low self-esteem and again, if they didn't have a smile on their face, I felt like a failure, I'd take it seriously, VERY seriously...
I need you to understand what I mean by VERY seriously: my whole day would be ruined if I didn't give someone a sense of joy, if I didn't make them laugh, or even give them a smile on their face. I was WAY too focused on making them happy rather then giving my own self some of that happiness in my own heart.
After I would make them angry or upset over something I wouldn't mean and I'd profusely apologize in fear that they'd hate me forever if I didn't say sorry 1000 times over. It would only make them even more upset or angry at me.
Another thing that was a problem was my over-sensitivity, in which the slightest bit of criticism or heckling would set me off. I would take the smallest joke WAY too seriously, even if it didn't involve me. Not only that but it would offend me highly. Being in high school, in Grade 12 no less...I still felt like a child because of my childish feelings. I wish I could have just laughed at the jokes and shrugged off the offensive remarks.
The events of my past were of my own doing. Not anyone else's.
Finally after 22 years, I told myself to think of myself more and others a bit less...only to have THAT go off balance.
When I arrived on Tumblr in age 25, I was paying so much attention to what I can do to make myself happy with the friends I have that I'd get over emotional as to why they weren't talking to me, liking or reblogging things I post to the point that I'd lose thought of what I was doing and blame them for not making me happy.
I'd go in a pity party, say that I'm lonely, worthless, down, depressed, bummed out, left out, and worse, manipulate, make them feel sorry for me. The acts of my past were beginning to creep up on me.
That was wrong. What I did was plain wrong.
I took what I lived in my life and threw it in my new friend's faces.
The outcome was so...sour...that I ended up almost losing a very special friend of mine because of how selfish I was.
I wasn't thinking.
I take a look back now through the year that has happened and I see how much of an emotional basket-case I've been not just to myself, but the multitude of friends that I have made here inside AND outside of Tumblr; blind to not notice how much they DO care and love me as I am:
  - A loving, caring individual that wishes for others to become better then who they are now. To promote strength and wisdom to those who need it. To not expect any in return unless it's given: criticism or praise, and welcomed as a growing aspect rather then a hindrance.
To continue...to those who know me personally, to those who've befriended me recently, throughout the year, and have been with me since the beginning, I say to you now from the bottom of my heart:
I. am. sorry.
I am sorry for my behavior.
I am sorry for the times in which I have been seen as an annoyance, as a basket-case, and/or as a manipulative idiot.
I am sorry for either hurting you, making you feel bad, saddened or belittled.
I am sorry for anything that has caused any kind of rift in our relationship, whatever kind it is: friends, acquaintances, etc.
You all deserve better then that.
To conclude this novel of a text post, I want to finish with this:
I hope to be a better person, through and through. I will strive to be better.
To those who don't believe me, I understand, I don't blame you. I've said lots of things in which I never followed up on them. I'm sorry for that too.
Even though I'm 26 years old, I still feel like I'm 15, in which I mean I'm finally learning how to BE myself and balance my own happiness with other's, to not concentrate on how many notes one picture gets, how many followers I obtain, or how many people actually talk to me at once; rather to have fun no matter what, and be there for my friends and my family. To provide art, voice clips, music, etc because it's FUN, not a chore, not a popularity contest.
I should have learned all of this earlier, thankfully I'm learning now, and better to know now then never, right?
Finally, I love you all as a brother and a friend. Please forgive me, if you can, for my stupidity. Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for an amazing year. Thank you for reading this post. Bless you.
With love,
~Teh Writah (CephasRed Moderator)
A gift for CephasRed since he's been feeling down.
Commissioned Pigeonwing of Deviantart for this a while back, but she was busy with school at the time and only recently got the chance to do it. The timing couldn't have been better, given how Red needed some cheering up.
Thanks a ton, Pigeon! Red loved it ^^
Posted with permission per her ToS which only require I do not profit from or claim to have done it myself.
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CephasRed Vs. Shadow of the Colossus - Colossi #1
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:3
WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE ALWAYS DO THIS EVERYDAY?!?
(Pfftt thanks for being awesome and letting me use you guys uvuÂ
in order:
Extradan
Kat and friendsÂ
MerrygoldÂ
Cephasred
Twinkle Shine for tehflahÂ
I just remembered something...I was called tumblr famous yesterday...
I'm not famous...last time I checked Red only has over 300 followers. Mod blog only has 49. I was at the Con and no fans came up to me, I mean my tumblr and skype friends were there but no particular fans that were interested in Red, the pony, which is totally okay with me, I mean I'm still relatively new. But if I was tumblr famous...I'd rather use that advantage for others to get up to the same position I am, to tell them to keep going, they'll make it. But being famous now...I just...don't...see that...unless if being famous was me providing fun, clean, a little dark sometimes and dramatic entertainment, as well as funny, humerous, and other person centered replies, messages and posts...then...I must be doing something right...and doing my job. Doing this with my Mod blog and Red's blog...it makes me smile. I don't take any if this for granted. I'd rather be there for everyone who wants it, and of course when I'm available (which isn't alot nowadays) I can provide the help. Being at the Con and being here...I realized how big this is...I'm not scared of it...in fact I welcome it. I guess the one thing that does worry me is when I ever do GET to that point...I start to lose the friends I made because of jealousy and hate of me, like I would be revered as a "celebrity of tumblrpon" in a bad sense. I just don't see myself like that. I'm a 25 year old guy, who was able to scratch a few bucks to get to a place that was a dream come true for only four reasons: - To finally meet my wonderful friends face to face, Momi, Taru, Havenness, Ally, Jitters, Ace, Laura, Peaceful, Roolo, Earthbound (I couldn't find Earthbound anywhere TnT), Shadow, Clockwork, Figment, DragonWing, Omnipony, DJ Soul, Tempest, Riarkraa, SpikeDaPenguin. - To make new friends like Raikissu, Lil Miss Jay, Willdrawfood1(surprise mod), Aphex (stalkerloo mod), Drew (a recent converted Brony), Living Tombstone, MindlessGonzo, DarklySpectre, anyone that wanted to talk to someone with a nice face and good attitude. There's lots and lots more names I didn't mention but I just told the one's that were able to go to the con and I can remember off the top if my head. - third reason, to see those who made MLP possible, the ones what I wanted to say thank you for all the work they've done: Lauren Faust, John De Lancie, Tara Strong, Andrea Libman, Nicole Oliver, Cathy Weseluck, Peter New and Amy Keating Rogers. - fourth reason...just to have fun! Everything else was a perk, and I loved it all, the art, the commissions I received and some that are coming, the food, the clothing, the music, everything. It's been a wonderful experience being here...and I wouldn't trade it for the world. To be famous...to be recognized as one who is popular and well-known...I welcome it...but I will always be that fun-loving person, humble, and honest, easy to get along with, never holds a grudge and is always willing to listen. Sure I'll say something stupid, or it doesn't make sense, but that's me being...myself! We all have flaws that make us normal, in which we learn to grow and get out of when and if we can. Call me...whatever you like, famous, non-famous, new, relatively new, friend, good friend, etc. I'm just here to have fun, and provide what I can to all of you people. Will I always be involved with MLP?...not always...but as long as the fandom goes...I'll be still here. Lastly, to finish of this novel of a post, I guess what I'll do is get all the pictures and videos up that I took at the convention. I'm still getting them prepped up and should have them on here by the end of the day today. Please keep up with the encouragement and the inspiration everyone, it's been helping me out alot. This trip helped me out alot. To all my friends on tumblr and skype: you are all awesome, I love you all, thank you for being there for me and sticking with me. To my followers: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for deciding to watch what I can do along with many others. Love you all! If I ever did become famous...it would be all thanks to you guys, my friends and followers. <3 Thank you, ~TehWritah (CephasRed Mod))