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a poem i wrote about negative experiences with religion, death, being transgender and queer, finding community in being queer and transgender, and self acceptance. may be a little confusing and messy because it is almost 3 am for me and i wrote this in a way where i purposefully didnt think too hard about it and just threw part of my soul into a note on my notes app. happy pride month. we deserve sunshine. 🌈🤍
trigger warning: religion stuff, religious trauma, implied abuse, death
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interest check for me making an alt blog to talk about my wip novel ive been working on for like 4 and a half years called "The Lament Of Maple Paisley" that follows the story of the main character, Maple Francis Paisley, an autistic teenage girl who also has severe bpd, cptsd, adhd, hypersexual disorder, and severe psychosis, and the obsession-driven cannibalism she committed on her friend when she was 10 who she had no idea was actually a divine sentient self aware robot named Heather who was sent by a god who keeps all the alternate realities of people in check so they dont accidentally mix, and this said robot's job was to be a lifelong friend to Maple to help guide her so she keeps on the right path that the god fleshed out for Maple to make sure she has a successful, happy life, and Maple cannibalizing this robot messes up Maple's alternate realities and now everything in her entire life goes awfully horribly wrong and she never speaks of the cannibalism again and as she gets older all of these absolutely horrific things happen to her and she starts doing horrific things and then runs away due to all these bad things and then the rest of the story follows her trying desperately to hide her actions and start a new life and then falls in love with a detective, my friend Mars' OC named Rose Sparrow Collie, who was hired to work on the case of one of Maple's victims
other awesome details include:
Maple, Darla (a character i didnt mention but who is very important to the story), and Rose are all lesbians
Laurel (Maple's mother) is bisexual and has bpd, psychosis, c-ptsd, and horrible internalized homophobia
Phoebe (Maple's sister) is a transgender, pansexual, polyamorous woman who is also a drag queen and has c-ptsd
Natasha, another character who is met later on in the book, is aroace and genderless (she has no concept of gender due to her backstory, mwahaha u dont get any spoilers!!!!) and is semi-verbal autistic and has avpd, ppd, and c-ptsd and shes partially a crow
Heather is divine machinery incarnate
Rose is very genderqueer
all of the characters are vaguely based off different birds in some way wheather it be appearance or behaviour
the story is very very southern gothic themed and is based in a small rural town in pennsylvania. very heavy ethel cain vibes
stuff people may NOT like:
theres a lot of graphic descriptions of gore, bodily functions, overall just gross stuff. i dont hold back on it because most of it is used in the context of describing how the characters are experiencing the symptoms of their mental illnesses, their emotions, or trauma. so if ur squeamish, wouldnt reccomend.
there is an entire page FULL of trigger warnings for this book😭😭
if it wasnt obvious, this is a psychological horror novel! if you dont like horror, i would again not reccomend it.
IT IS A WIP!!!! I have been working on this book for YEARS, and its nowhere NEAR done. so a lot of this could change, and it wont be done for quite a few more years, and after that itll take me a while to publish it.
if you are interested in me making a seperate blog to talk about this wip novel, give updates on any changes to the lore and on writing progress, post art of it, share media i made of it, etc etc, please like and/or reblog this! ive been really scared of making this post because this project means the damn world to me, and the characters are my entire heart and soul. i have been hesitating to talk about this project at all due to fear of my characters being stolen or whatever. but as an author i figured i should step out of my comfort zone and talk about it more!!
‧₊˚ ⋅ welcome to my chapel <3
when its late at night and you listen to a sad song or a song that reminds you of something that used to be, or almost was, and you get so utterly engulfed in the longing for whatever it is that the song reminds you of that your chest begins to ache like there is a hollow wound in the middle of it, and your arms go weak and your face goes blank because you are so tired of longing, you cannot even muster up the energy to shed a tear. and if you think the song is just sad and theres nothing you want so deeply it hurts, read the lyrics. re-read the lyrics over and over and over until one of them stabs you in the ribs like an arrow covered in the honey your mother used to stir into tea for you. you will find what you are longing for between music notes and choruses and you will realize that it is something unattainable, a "maybe", an "almost" a "could-have-been". and through the dark of your room and the blanket halfway off your leg you can almost smell that the tea is ready, and you can almost hear your mother calling your name.
TW: suicide (im okay! its a trigger warning for a poem i wrote!)
im moving in a few days, out of the apartment i went through with my first suicide attempt. id had a few attempts i couldnt follow through with, but in this apartment i had my first one i was determined to complete. that fact is something ive been thinking about since finding out were moving, and so i wrote a poem about it. 🤍
"moving day"
ps: the events in this poem take place a few years ago during a time when i had a girlfriend because i had not yet come to realization that i was trans and gay and both me and her didnt know what queerplatonic relationships were 🙏 were not in contact anymore but before allat we did establish we never rly had romantic feelings for each other we were just hella queerplatonic. i am in a lovely relationship with my amazing boyfriend now and have been for over a year 🗣
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
a poem i wrote a while ago about my boyfriend @tootaglia ♡ i havent posted writing on here in a LONG time, so i figured id share some poetry!!
"in the dark of my room" by me of course <3
(under the cut) a poem i wrote about this feeling of "where do i go from here?" that i constantly have since developing chronic illness, due to the fact that my original dreams are now no longer achieveable with my disabilities
may end up taking this down cuz im nervous when it comes to showing my writing, and this is arguably not my best work
