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The problem with now actually calling myself a fic author is that I've become very resentful of my earlier work. Emotional Support Staff's first chapter came out in November of 2023 and it was the first time I'd ever wrote like that.

And I hate it.

My standards have increased massively so the idea of even peeking at the earlier chapters of ESS makes me want to delete Ao3. That felt pretty typical at first---you always cringe at your first attempts.

But now it's to the point that the idea of Celestial Scales being up and public and even the first three chapters of The Cryptid and The Collector make me want to erase my entire internet presence and I geniuenly don't know what to do or how to fix it.

Trying to not nuke your entire online presense simply because you like preserving what you've done so far Sure Is Something

#crow caws #vent #kinda #i dont have any intentions #of actually deleting everything #but ig ive fallen into a hole of “everything i do is terrible”#i love my aus #i love my writing #but some days i just wish id never made them #and i think its because when i started #i just wanted to have fun #but my standards have risen to the point that im holding myself #to the most stupid and unobtainable goals ever #which is probably why i dont want to draw #because i think about drawing and get frustrated that i cant do it #before i even start im already upset at myself #but thats what this break is for!#so ill stop looking back at ANY of my work and think #this shouldnt have ever been made #i think i just fell back into the trap that everything i do needs to be perfect prefect perfect #sun and moon wouldnt want that #CELLULAR DEVICE #show me The Characters #surely this will fix it

teens with cellphones