#ccyapsesh

First, I’ll establish, as we know, that Bee exists in 1890 :3 Now, I’m aware that the world of Hogwarts Legacy is portrayed as being much more progressive than how things historically were in England in this time period. In my analysis, I take both this portrayal and the historical account into my interpretation for the context of Bee’s story.

As I may have brought up before, Bee grew up facing a lot of misogyny. It wasn’t anything traumatizing, but it was enough to leave a lasting impact on her self esteem, and relationship with gender roles in society.

Most of the misogyny she faced growing up came in the form of teasing and sometimes even bullying, primarily from boys in her class. While most of them didn’t have malicious intentions or even realize the impact of their actions, it made her very self conscious of her own identity as a girl.

Bee is, by nature, a very ‘feminine’ girl. She likes wearing dresses. She likes playing with dolls. She likes traditional ‘girl’ things like baking and knitting. Her personality too leans toward what one would associate with the “traditional ideal woman”: gentle, mild-mannered, kind, agreeable, and nurturing.

And this plays a large part into her own self-loathing.

She’s aware that her personality and interests align with what the current society claims to be the “ideal woman”; and she heavily resents that. She hates the idea of anyone (not just women) being forced or pressured into any sort of societal image, and feels as if she is playing into the one for women just by being who she is.

Because of this, she feels a sort of shame toward expressing her femininity and emotional vulnerability. While she does still express and enjoy it, she also keeps it hidden to a certain extent.

Because she was teased for her ‘girliness’ in the past, she now hesitates to express this side of herself to those she doesn’t deeply trust. She’ll try and contain her excitement when she sees cute clothes she wants to get. She’s stubbornly independent and tries to convince herself and others she never needs help. She puts up certain barriers that make emotional vulnerability, which would otherwise come naturally to her, difficult.

In essence, she’s afraid. But she’s also ashamed. By holding herself up to her standard to go against what society expects her to be, she’s still, in essence, going against herself. In her effort to fight for women’s freedom to express their true selves, she herself suppresses her own nature.

She wants to cry openly when she’s sad. She wants to ask for help and admit she can’t do everything on her own. She wants to be able to trust guys without feeling afraid with every interaction. She wants to be free to fully express herself.

But she can’t.

‘Because it would be selfish to do so.’

I’ll say my other thoughts in bullet points bc I can’t figure out how to segue these cleanly lol:

She does not carry these same sentiments toward other girls. In her mind, it’s perfectly fine for them to express themselves in whatever ways they want. It’s only herself that she won’t allow this same freedom of expression.

Yes, as I mentioned before, Bee does have a small underlying fear toward guys in general. She’s a teenage girl, she’s attending a school full of teenage boys. She may be innocent but she’s not naive. She’s aware of what could happen if she’s not careful, and keeps emotional barriers up around them for this reason.

She has these barriers with girls too, though they’re not as bad as she’s more used to interacting with other girls.

Secretly though, she is drawn to the assertive types (of any gender). She admires their confidence and finds herself both drawn in and wary.

She too may try and pass herself off as being more self assured than she really feels in an attempt to impress someone. (It usually doesn’t work because she wears her heart on her sleeve🤭)

For interactions with guys specifically, she puts on something of a “tougher act”. Warm and caring like she usually is, but also somewhat emotionally aloof/closed off. Also very stubborn about being solely self-reliant. VERY stubborn. This is a result of her not wanting them to look down on her for being a girl (like she was in the past).

When they try to tease or mess with this persona, she can at times become defensive and avoidant (tsundere!!), especially if they’re trying to flirt. In reality, she secretly hopes they do see through this facade and are willing to accept who she really is under the exaggerated bravado.

(Small note: her tsundere side surrenders quicker if treated with genuine understanding rather than teasing)

She herself is aware of her own shame complex and is trying to more comfortably express her femininity now that she’s getting older (she was rather a tomboy as a kid actually; romping in the woods, looking for frogs, making mud potions)

In modern AU, when societal pressures have eased slightly, she’s much more comfortable expressing her femininity and being her authentic self.

….I guess I’ll end my yapsesh there so I don’t go rambling on and on into a mini novella😂 I’ll prob make more posts exploring this and similar topics, because I personally find the subject a fascinating thinking + discussion point👀

Bee: Lily of the valley

purity, humility, protection, devotion, love, loss

Tbh the original reason I chose this flower for her is bc I kept seeing it on Pinterest and it instantly became one of my favorite flowers🤭

for the symbolic meaning though, it does relate to her on many levels. I’m sure most of the traits listed above are self-explanatory, but I would like to dive into the aspect of loss.

This is a very common theme that present in her story; both the losses MC usually faces in-game, as well as several others unique to her. They are each and all cause her great pain, but in the end serve as hallmarks in her character growth and development.

Jocie: Pink primroses

young love, optimism, protection, affection, femininity, unrequited feelings

Once again, originally chose this flower because I thought the name suited her tastes🤭 And I’m sure you can relate its meaning to her personality.

for the unrequited feeling aspect, I feel like this could reflect upon not only the AUs where Ominis rejects her overwhelming affection, but also the one-sided care she seems to have for most people.

As you might know, she doesn’t have the best relationship with her family, which is very dysfunctional; so she often feels like her love for them is unreturned or not reciprocated as strongly. Even when she does find someone who loves her back, she can’t help the lingering doubt that it won’t last or isn’t true.

Mund: ghost orchid

a rare flower associated with mystery, impermanence, memory, grief

Some of you may know this, but his father passed away when he was young. Because of this, he’s always carried his grief and depression onward with him in life. Hence “the ghost flower”; I think a clear representation of his father’s visiting spirit🤍

This event and its effects on Mund were so profound I believed this flower was best suited to him. (Wish this section could’ve been longer but I think it gets to the root of it….get it🤭)

Ace: yellow petunias

resilience, love, strength, but also sometimes hidden disappointment

Ace was a bit harder to find a flower for, but in the end I settled for a petunia: more specifically a yellow petunia, which, alongside a petunia’s base meaning, can also represent dissatisfaction or disappointment.

This can apply to several things; the resentment he carried toward his deadbeat dad, his love for Bee (which is unrequited in inverses where she’s shipped with someone else)…but most of all disappointment toward himself. For being unable to properly provide for his family. For being unable to achieve his dreams. For just never being his definition of “enough”.

That alongside the petunia’s base meaning (listed above) I’d say encapsulate him well.

Expansion on previous info 

Bee was born to Mayari and Finlay Bluelake on March 16, 1875. both her parents died due to unknown causes only two months after her birth.

She was then sent to live with her paternal grandparents, Nora and Edward Bluelake. She had no known family on her mother’s side.

Growing up, she’d always had a fascination with magic despite being unaware of the wizarding world’s existence. 

Every Halloween, she dressed up as something magical: a fairy, a unicorn, a princess; but a witch was always her favorite costume. 

She often dressed up as a witch outside of Halloween as well. If she wasn’t in PJs, she was likely in a witch getup🪄

She loved to spend time out in nature, finding and collecting things like…

cool-looking sticks and twigs

Pretty rocks and stones

Leaves of all kinds

Flowers

Acorns and pinecones 

She loved to used some of the ingredients she found as ‘potion ingredients’. 

She also loved to use the flowers she found to make flower crowns🌸🌺🌷🌻

She loved searching for animals (particularly frogs and cats, who she hoped to make her familiars). 

She was surprisingly good at connecting with them, and gets along with animals better than most people 

She eventually got her pet cat, Frog, for her seventh birthday. They’ve been inseparable ever since💕

New facts!!💖

She spent a lot of time with her grandparents growing up, and they often passed on their skills to her 

Gardening with her Grampa (though she was never very good at it😂)

Cooking & baking at her gramma (she grew quite proficient!!💕🍪👩‍🍳)

She has HORRIBLE luck😂 always have and always will. Besides the comedic (and angst👀) purposes for this, there is actually a reason for this that I will yap about in more depth someday💖 (Lore! Lore! Lore!)

Her hair grows unusually LONG unusually FAST due to her ancient magic; in my story, her ancient magic abilities also include strong healing and regenerative abilities, so if she cuts off her hair, it’s quick to grow back. Her grandparents had to trim it pretty much every month so it didn’t grow too long and she doesn’t turn into Rapunzel😂 

Also remember how I said I’d draw short haired Bee someday? Well I’m planning on drawing long haired Bee as well….

Besides spellbooks and fantasy stories, Bee also grew to really love books about women, written by women. That was still fairly new in the time period, and as she too wanted to write a book someday, reading these were very comforting and inspiring for her 📖

Some of her favorites include Little Women, Pride and Prejuduce, and Jane Eyre

These books also helped shape her feminist beliefs and stance growing up 

As a child, she loved to wear pretty dresses (still does) but was also much more of a tomboy in terms of the kind’ve activities she did. Yes, she did bake and draw, and did love having tea parties with her many dolls; but she also loved rolling down hills, splashing through streams, and getting her dress dirty to look at cool bugs🐞🐛🐜

Angst facts 

She was rather ostracized by her peers growing up. For one thing, she was quiet: too shy to really reach out and talk to many people. And those she did try to talk to were turned off by her odd mannerisms and interests.

She wasn’t outright bullied for this as much as she was ignored…though she was sadly bullied for other reasons which I’ll explain below…💔

Growing up in 1890, it was already pretty much set in stone she’d have a hard time being a girl. 

She was really small for most of her life until she got a growth spurt in the later half of middle school, which made her an even bigger target for…

Misogyny. She…faced a lot of this, sadly😞 Nothing traumatic, I will say, but it was as definitely bad enough to have a lasting impact on her as she’s now…

Even more anxious and timid than she likely would’ve been otherwise

Very defensive when it comes to relationships with boys (I will cover this in more detail in another yapsesh so I don’t go off-topic)

she was also somewhat picked on for her neurodivergence, though this was more backhand gossip and whispering rather than outright bullying 

…I think that’s all for now!! I might add more if I get any other ideas, but there are SOOOOO many topics for me to yap about so I think I’ll end it here <3 thx for reading 💖

Jocie was born to purebloods Octavia and Demetrius Belldown, more commonly known as the Bells.

She’s the middle child of 5, the order being:

- Grace: 24

- William: 19

- Jocie: 16

- Bertha: 11

- Warren: 7

Her family didn’t engage much with pureblood politics, and was largely ignored as a result. The Bell family primarily kept to themselves, as they sought to build their own legacy outside of their pureblood status. Their own relatives largely disregarded them. It wasn’t much of a surprise when the pureblood Belldown family name was lost to time.

Growing up, she was known as the wild child of her family. She could usually be found romping around outside, or exploring areas she shouldn’t be.

She would always bring a notebook with her to write down everything she learned. She also brought a large bag to carry interesting things that she found.

She was very close with her cousin, Garreth Weasley, growing up, and often went on these adventures with him. The two often got into mischief together, and acted more like twins than cousins.

She was also very close with her aunt Matilda Weasley, who was more of a mother figure to her than her own mom.

Whenever she wasn’t doing this, you could likely find her nose-deep in a book. She loved learning anything and everything she could, and would attempt to put what she learned into practice. Her family got called in for a violation of the Underage Restriction of Magic rule a few times because she kept stealing her older siblings’ wands to practice.

More than anything, she longed to learn how to fly. Several times, she ‘borrowed’ her older sister’s broom to practice flying. Her brother, William, who also used to do this, would give her secret flying lessons.

She is also a huge fan of the Holyhead Harpies, which she’s longed to join ever since she was a child.

Her parents fought fairly often, and only did so more and more as the years passed. She’d grown up in this environment with her siblings her whole life, and learned to suppress her own feelings to comfort her younger sister and brother after her older siblings left (which was fairly early). This suppression of negative emotions carried on to the present.

She has a strained relationship with her mother, who was very strict and emotionally distant. Jocie carries a bit of resentment toward her mother for this; but at the same time, desperately wanted to please her and earn her approval. This began her frequent pattern of people-pleasing.

On the other hand, she was closer to her father, who taught her how to make candy; a skill his own father, a successful candy maker, had taught him.

Both of her parents, for whatever reason, were far stricter with her than her other siblings. Though she never determined the exact reason why, she always assumed it was because she was so much more bold and rebellious than her siblings were.

At first, she tried to remedy this by acting how she supposed they wanted her too. When this didn’t work, she turned to rebelliousness in her frustration.

As she always had to stick to a certain act at home (she and her siblings were still pureblood children with certain expectations placed upon them), she took school as an opportunity to act out.

This didn’t please either of her parents, distancing them more and more. By the time she was a teenager, she had a fairly strained relationship with both of them. When she started attending Hogwarts, she gradually began to fall out of contact with them.

A similar thing happened with her older siblings, who were moving on with their lives. She mostly spoke with her younger siblings whenever she came home, though even their relationship was made somewhat awkward due to her tense relations with their parents.

As far as friends went, she actually made them surprisingly easily despite her rather intense personality. Her loyalty, warmth, and boundless energy attracted her peers and gave her the companionship she’d always lacked at home.

Despite this, it still never felt enough for her. She longed for something more. Even despite her amiable relationship with her father in childhood, she’d always been deprived of a certain parental closeness. She tried to fill this hole by entering into relationships as a teenager.

She entered into many, and all very quickly. She found dating and flings to be very a very fun and enjoyable pastime, and began doing it regularly as one of her frequent hobbies.

However, there was still that hole in her heart longing for deeper connection beyond the physical relations she engaged in. For the longest time, she ignored this by spending all her time in relationship after relationship.

Then she met Ominis. And her heart told her he was the One True Love she’d been searching for her whole life. The one who could ‘fix her’. ‘Heal her’. ‘Complete her’.

(Which obviously isn’t something anyone else can do, but that was her mindset at the time)

The sound

The lyrics have a LOT of analysis so let’s cover the sound of it first!!! First- probably the most noticeable thing is the slightly erratic heartbeat sound that plays all throughout the sound. Perfectly conveys Jocie’s feelings of deep infatuation🖤 There’s also the atmospheric bits (idk what instruments those are if they’re instruments at all lol)- not something you’d think to associate with Jocie. But if you know the full scope of her character like I do, you’d understand that this haunting notes fit her rather well actually. Also, the saxophone (is that what that is?? Idk instruments lmao😂 @le-rryder help meeeee) perfectly conveys her classy and romantic side, and contributes to the slight air of mystery💖 Plus- the pacing!!! Well- just listen to the song yourself and follow along with the lyrics, and you’ll see what I mean!!!

The lyrics

BUCKLE UP THIS IS GONNA BE A DOOZY

“I kissed every stranger”

IMMEDIATELY references her serial flirting habits before Orpheus. Most of the flings she had were with total strangers; only a few remained friends after (Adair was one of those friends, @amethystandemma ;3)

“I kept changing his mind, he kept changing my mind”

I’m taking ‘he’ as an ambiguous term here for the person she’s currently with. Reflects her indecisive and fickle nature. With every person she gets together with, she does consider something more; but ultimately changes her mind and moves onto the next person. For her, if her feelings aren’t overwhelming and all-consuming, it’s not the ‘True Love’ she’s searching for. 

“He feels handcrafted just for you. But he’s a little bit too far away and….you can’t, you can’t”

I take this line as referencing Ominis, who she was originally infatuated with. She had believed him to be her true love, but after one too many rejections, she finally accepts that maybe he isn’t the one she’s looking for😞

“And you know you’ll be gone by the morning”

After she gives up pursuing Ominis, she tries to go back to her old dating habits, but it never does feel quite the same after actual love escaped her grasp. She doesn’t even try to establish connections with these partners now, simply having the fun with them and then moving on. 

“Prolonged eye contact in casual conversation” 

This is when she starts to first notice Orpheus. Immediately, she feels a sort of pull to him; something about the intensity of his gaze despite his stoic exterior immediately draws her attention and reels her in. She sets her sights onto him, and grows increasingly fascinated by him the more they get to know each other. 

“You’re too real for me. You should go to someone better, I’ll give you to someone better”

Even though she’s hopeful that he could be the one, those lingering doubts are still in her mind. She drove Ominis away because she overwhelmed him and came off too strong. And before this; she’s always been deeply insecure. Now that she’s felt the sting of rejection, she’s afraid to feel it again. So, she still tries to keep somewhat of an emotional distance even as she keeps pursuing Orpheus. She believes that while they could have a fun ‘physical’ relationship, he’d deserve someone better than her in the long-term. 

“I have friends that won’t feel like monsters”

Her main source of insecurity are in fact, her intense tendencies. She heated how jealous she gets; how obsessive and possessive and controlling she gets. She really does try to keep it under control, but it’s hard. And she’s not always successful. As a result, she can’t help but feel like a monster whenever this behavior ends up hurting someone she does genuinely care about.💔

“Being unwanted…and wanting too much”

Her life’s story in a nutshell. Her parents were never able to provide quite what she needed growing up. They loved her…but she always did feel somewhat neglected; the forgotten child in her siblings’ shadows, if you will. Because of this perceived rejection, she chases attention from anywhere and everywhere else she can, which is why she loves and feels so intensely. 

She doesn’t want to be alone. 

“Feeding the idea of you…leaving you starving”

This applies both to Ominis and Orpheus I’d say. She idealizes both due to her extreme idealism, blinding her to their flaws and the realities of the situation ships. That’s why it takes so long for her to realize that Ominis really isn’t interested….and that Orpheus actually is. She spends so much time pursuing them, she never stops to reflect on what it is she actually has with them.

“Not god. Not us- but something in the middle. But you know I was still down on my knees, like it was a religion.”

Now this really hammers home just how intense her idealism and infatuation is. it’s not just a little crush for her, oh no. This is big. This is serious. This is like her religion. Her one belief that she’s hold onto her whole life, is the idea of soulmates. So she spends her whole life chasing that idea down to heal the wounds of her inner child.

“Closer, closer, and closer and closer- foggy windows”

A bit symbolic for how she keeps trying to push herself closer to him, but still can’t see the clear reality of it due to the sheer intensity of her feelings. 

“I knew it was you the whole time: I knew it was you, while I was with him”

Even before she officially started pursuing Orpheus, she did notice him a few times while still going after Ominis. Even that early on, he’d caught her attention; it just wasn’t until she’d finally let Ominis go that she realized where her heart truly lied. 

“I knew it was you when you sang me that song you wrote about her”

I’m imagining the ‘song’ to be his love letters to her🥹 I’d like to think she suspected it was him even before she actually figured it out 

“The night before, half out of my mind” 

The beginnings of her drowning in obsession. She herself recognizes it; she’s much more aware of this side of her now after her experience with Ominis. She’s trying harder than before to contain it; but her obsessions torment her whenever she’s alone. It’s like a disease. A wonderful, awful, beautiful disease.

“And you know you love him, and you might be in love with him.” (Repeat)

She knows she loves him. He’s hot I mean-😂 but the more and more time she spends with him….the more she begins to wonder if she actually loves him.

“And you know you love him, and you’re falling in love with him”. (Repeat)

There’s no denying it now; she’s falling in love with this boy. And she really doesn’t know what to do with that, hence the constant repeats and escalating music of the song. On one hand; she’s thrilled. She finally found him, her Soulmate. On the other….she’s terrified. She saw the kind’ve person she could become when she was in love with Ominis; and now that she was even more in love with Orpheus, she doesn’t want to find out the kind’ve person she can be if she lets herself get too involved with him. She loves him. Loves him so much it’s painful. It’s driving her mad. It’s perfect. It’s horrible. It’s everything.

“I think I was searching for the taste of you….in every one.”

This would apply to AU where she decides not to be with him. She decides not to risk hurting him or anyone else by giving into her obsession…and forces herself to break off. But he forever haunts her mind. She never forgets him. 

The main reason I ship them is because they’re the last people you’d expect to end up together💖

Bee’s preferences are covered in more detail here, but basically, for guys, she tends to lean more toward the quieter, gentler, more reserved ones (like Neville🙈)

This is because she faced a lot of misogyny as a young girl growing up in the 19th century, and she’s grown to be wary around more outspoken and assertive guys 

Which is why she is so surprised by her attraction to Sebastian. Because he’s exactly the kind’ve guy she’s trained herself to avoid: confident, flirty, rebellious; a ‘bad influence’ and ‘bad idea’ in her mind🤭

So she tries to keep an emotional distance at first, even though she gets a crush on him pretty much as soon as they meet in DADA. She’s willing to be his friend, but nothing more.

…..until the restricted section. After he didn’t bail her out and risked a detention for her, despite the two barely even knowing each other at the time, that pretty much turned everything around for her.

Bee is the kind’ve girl who’s attracted to personality and actions; not so much looks. His real loyalty in this instance is what ultimately made her initial defensive stance start to crumble (and made her crush grow even more).☺️💗

After that, she allowed herself to be more open with him, though the opening up process was still slow and gradual with her, and took place over years. 

On Sebastian’s end, falling for Bee was also unexpected. Mostly bc in my story, he actually wasn’t that interested in many girls.

He flirts with them all the time, yes, but as far as genuine attraction goes, that’s a rare thing for him. So getting a crush alone (and so soon within meeting her) is already a surprise for him.

There’s also the fact that she’s not the kind’ve girl he’d expected himself to fall for. She’s quiet, shy, timid, and much more of a rule follower than him, so at first he’s confused by his own attraction.

However, this confusion quickly turns to infatuation as he gets to know her more. It doesn’t take long for her to (accidentally) endear herself to him, and he actually finds himself enjoying their many differences, rather than fighting against them. 

He also loves how slow she is to open up. For him, it’s like uncovering a puzzle: the most intriguing puzzle in the world. She has so many contradictions that just fascinate him:

She’s quiet, but opinionated. She’s kind, but she’s not a pushover. She’s respects authority, but she also always follows her heart. She’s gentle and mild, but she’s also got a hidden temper.

All of these nuances to her just excite and delight him in the best of ways, and he loves talking with her and spending time with her to learn more.

Another thing I love about their relationship is how they challenge each other. Usually, when people think of Seb’s storyline, there’s really only 2 options: support him, or don’t. But Bee doesn’t choose either of those: she chooses both.

She’s always there for him when he needs her, and provides a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. However, she doesn’t support his involvement in the dark arts, and actively tries to steer him away from this toward other alternatives to curing Anne. 

She, like him, wants to heal Anne; she just refuses to do it through the dark arts as she doesn’t want him to suffer, get hurt, or hurt anyone else. In other words: she guides, supports, and heals, rather than enables💖

….I’ll end the yapping there for now, but I could go on about them for ages😂 I’ll save those for future yap posts though :3 thanks for reading 🥰💕 (and Jominis yapsesh is next😉)

Tagging my peeps who said they were interested in my yaps🙈: 

@light-of-the-room , @sallowsoul , @lyra-prag , @karajluce , @dovewonderland