#cbwrites

Flash forward to the present day and you guys are now 22 years of age. You have been in love with your best friend for a total of 2,190 days or, in more simpler terms, 6 years. For 6 years you’ve kept this secret to yourself, afraid that if he ever finds out then the whole dynamic of your guys’ relationship would change. You’ve watched him go on dates, even saw girls come and go, some staying longer than others but never actually staying. Fearing that you’d end up being one of those girls, you never confessed.

Every time he needed you, you were there in a heartbeat. He needed a wing woman? You’re at his side. Girl problems? Your ears were always attentive, listening to every word he said, giving him advice when he needed them. A girl broke his heart? You guessed it! There you were, wiping away his tears, taking care of him the way you should've been taking care of yourself. But you couldn’t help it, you would do anything to keep the smile on his face, even if that means hurting yourself.

“Oh my god y/n, so Zendaya said something funny on set today but i mean when is she not funny,” Tom exclaimed, snapping you out of your thoughts as he entered your apartment. 

You lived near the set location of Spiderman: Far From Home and seeing that you had a vacant room, you offered it to the boy. It was a win-win, he gets a free room and you get to see him and that was enough for you.

“Yeah, what did she say?” you questioned, plastering a small smile on your face, seeming to be interested in the conversation when in all honesty, you’d rather be talking about something else, anything else.

“She said that -” as he continued to talked about her, you fade back into your thoughts. Thinking back to last month, the first time he told you that he had feelings for the actress.

“I really like her y/n, i really think she can be the one,” Tom gushed. You smiled at him, hiding the fact that your heart just broke into a million pieces. He’s never said that about the other girls and it broke you that he wasn't saying it about you.  

“That's great! im glad to hear that someone has finally caught your eye,” you said excitedly, hoping that he doesn't notice your pained expression and since he was so caught up with his newly discovered feelings, he never even paid attention.

“What should I do?” he asked you. Tom valued your opinion more than anyone. After all, you knew him more than anyone, even more than Harrison, and that's saying something. You have seen all sides of him, the good and the bad, so if anyone has to give him any advice, it has to be you.

“You said you liked her so just go for it!” you exclaimed.

‘Go for it’ ~ Oh, how you set yourself up for heartbreak. 

You could’ve told him then and there but all your fears just continues to haunt you. The fear of losing the friendship and the fear of not being good enough all jumbled together. However, you truly believed that it was easier this way.  

“Anyways she’s having a party tonight and she told me to invite you and - wait are you even listening to me?” Tom inquired as he looked at you, snapping you out of your thoughts once again.

“..yeah, yeah you said she’s having a party tonight,” you replied, waving him off as you took a sip from your water.

“Ok well, can you please be there, i think im going to confess to her tonight and i need all the support i can get,” Tom informed you, giving you his best puppy dog eyes knowing that you wouldn't be able to resist.

Almost choking from your water, you nod at him, “i wouldn't miss it for the world,” you cheered as he tackled you onto the sofa, giving you a hug and softly planting kisses on your cheeks.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Tom exclaimed, your guys laughter filling the room. “You should probably get ready because it's in 2 hours,” he finished.

You look at him, your eyeballs almost popping out your sockets, “Thomas Stanley Holland, i haven't even showered! Oh my god!” you yelled as you ran into your bathroom and out of his arms to get ready, his laughter still ringing in your ear.

--

You guys have now arrived at the party and you felt like an absolute outsider. You didn't know anyone besides the Homecoming cast and so you stayed by them the entire time. Seeing Tom interact with Zendaya just took pieces from your heart left and right. Realizing that Tom didn't need you and that he knew what he was doing, you ventured off into the house, looking for something to drink.

You were supposed to stop after 6 shots, knowing that if you took more, you’d be beyond your “fun” alcohol stage, and will reach the “sad-girl” stage. However you couldn't stop it, you needed something to ease the pain, and right now, vodka seemed to be your best friend.You didn’t mean to get so drunk, and you didnt mean for the next events to start happening.

You were now seated at the edge of Tom’s bed in the bedroom you have gladly offered him. Tom grabbed the makeup wipes you kept in the bathroom and started removing your ruined makeup. He found you midway into the party drunk as hell, slurring words and laughing like a maniac. Knowing that you probably have had enough, he decided to just leave the party early with you in his arms.

“Why the hell did you get so drunk, y/n?” he chuckled, amused at the way you were poking his free hand, a smile still instilled on your face as he removed your lashes. “Weren't you supposed to be my support system?” he said jokingly, flashing you a smile as he started to make his way to your eyeshadow.

It took you a while to process what he has said, considering that the alcohol was still buzzing in your system. “Heh. sorry,” you finally replied with a toothy grin until you remembered the reason why he needed support. Your smile disappearing, you stare at him as he carefully takes off your lipstick, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at your lips, a clear determination to get rid of the red paint.

“I’m in love with you,” you quietly whispered, catching his attention. He stops to look at you, taking his hand off your lips as you look down at your lap.

“For 6 years, i've been in love with you,” you admitted, “6 years,” you sniffled out as tears started to flow out of your eyes. Not wanting him to see you, you brought your hands up to your face, a way to shield yourself from his unwavering eyes.

“6 years,” you whispered again, your muffled cries filling the tension-filled air. You’ve ruined the friendship and you know it. There was no going back now.  

Tom takes a seat beside you. Slowly he brings his hand up to your face, wiping away your tears. “Come here,” he whispers as you continued to cry into his shoulders. He tries to shush you but nothing was working. Again, he grabbed your face, making you face him this time. He gives you a small kiss on the forehead, as he made his way down. First, to kiss the tears that have escaped from your eyes, then down to your nose, and finally, your lips.

You kiss him back, the taste of alcohol on the tip of your tongues. He gently leads you back making you lay down on the bed and that's when you realize what was actually happening. You continued to kiss him for a while, savouring the feeling of his lips on yours before you stopped it. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you hugged him tightly as your tears continued to make their way down your cheeks. He sighs into your neck, hugging you back and then - you gently pushed him off. Not even sparing a glance at him, you walked out of his room and into yours, leaving him in his bed - shocked and confused.

you slowly make your way over to him, gently massaging his shoulder and kissing the top of his head

as soon as he felt your touch, he relaxed like putty into your arms - letting out a deep sigh

“lets get out of here”

he smiles up at you and you take his hand and literally pull him out of the building because he was starting to have second thoughts about leaving

you guys walked hand in hand all the way to the beach 

he was shocked because he thought you were gonna walk him back to the dorms 

but nope , yall were at the beach 

he never noticed that you took a different turn because he was so tired

“what are we doing here?”

“I thought you could clear up your head a bit”

he gives you his shy smile (you know THAT smile he does when he acts like the fake maknae omg please i need to see that in real life )

you guys lay down and start to count the stars in the sky 

at one point he stops counting and just looks towards you 

you, still fascinated at the scenery above was so oblivious to the fact that he was just staring at you 

“gosh stars are so beautiful”

“yeah, they are,” he says, while still looking at you (anyways bye i fucking want this with chan)

you finally notice him 

“thanks for taking me here”

“of course”

~

You faced him seeing the hurt expression on his face, quietly whispering, you gave him a sad smile “stop apologizing. It's not your fault that you don't love me back.” You’ve realized now that you caught the boy off-guard as he sat there, mouth agape at your statement. 

It took awhile for Tom to answer you, as you guys listened to the waves crash against each other, becoming one and then slowly dispersing for them to meet once again. 

“Im really sorry, y/n,” he says once more.

“I told you to stop saying that,” you warned him. You were about to lose your head if he keeps sympathizing you. 

“Sorry,” he says, looking up at you. Noticing the hard glare that you have given him, he quickly added “i mean, i... just... i don't know what else to say...I really like Zendaya” he stuttered out.

“Why did you kiss me?” you asked, the burning desire of wanting to know the answer has been jabbing at your heart ever since it happened. 

“I-” he takes a quick pause, gathering his thoughts, “I don't know, i think i just got caught up in the moment, i’m sorry” he embarrassedly admitted, disappointed at his own actions. 

You nod at him as you gulped down the pain that was hitting the back of your throat, “It’s fine Tom, i always knew you didn’t feel the same way, i mean how could you ever love someone like me, when there’s someone like her?” you sighed. Holding back your tears, you look back out into the ocean, avoiding his gaze, as you accepted the fact that your heart was being split in two and there was nothing you could do to prevent it. 

“What do you mean?” Tom questioned, his eyebrows furrowing. “You know it’s not like that,” he added, making the effort to reassure you. 

“Look - im not going to explain anymore, don't you think it's time for me to stop making a fool of myself?” you shot at him, getting angrier with every word. Never did you think you would be having this conversation and never, in a million years, did you want to. 

“y/n, any guy would be lucky to have you,” Tom comforted you. He said that same thing the night you fell in love with him, but now you realize what it meant. “C’mon, you are y/n l/n, you can make anyone fall in love with you,” he continued, trying to cheer you up. 

“Just not you, right?” you questioned him waiting for an answer, yet you never did get one. At this moment, you just wanted to get away. To escape his pitiful eyes. You wished so badly for a miracle. That somehow, you could go back to the last two nights and stopped this from happening but obviously, that was not possible. Your heart aching and your mind wondering of what's to come next, you added “Its fine.”

“y/n -” he starts before you cut him off, not really wanting to hear anymore of what he has to say. At first you thought that maybe you did have a chance. The way Harrison rooted for you to talk to him made it seem like the boy knew something that you didn’t, obviously you were wrong. 

“really Tom, it’s fine. I just have one last request from you?” you said, giving him a small smile. 

“What is it ?” he says, returning a similar expression to yours and you realize how much you are going to miss seeing him on a daily basis. The way his eyes crinkle when he gives you even his smallest of smiles and the way they seem to disappear when he's laughing. All of it is just going to be a memory now.  And as much as you didnt want it to end up this way, it has to. Because after 6 years, it was time to move on. To put yourself first this time. And so you uttered out five words. Five words that you regretted once they left your mouth. 

“Help me get over you.”

~

And that was it. You guys decided that it was best that the both of you stopped seeing each other. That in order to get over him, you would need time on your own.  

The End

tag list: @itsanonymouschick​ @stuckychild​ @i-aint-nobodys--bitch @youcouldneverhurtmeijustfeelyou @weshipandstuff​ @watch-myheartburn​ @heyyyyitsanie​

⚠️ LMAO SIKE, YALL REALLY THOUGHT I WOULD DO YOU GUYS LIKE THAT? NAH FAM, YOU GUYS ASKED FOR A HAPPY ENDING AND YOU GUYS WILL GET ONE :) ⚠️

The clock read 10:18 pm and you wondered what he was doing right now. Is he at home getting ready for bed? Is he still at set, shooting his movie? Or is he out with his friends, having a good time? Is he out with her?

It's hard to be so clueless on what the boy was up to when you used to know his everyday schedule. It was hard to lose someone who you never thought you would lose. I mean? You guys were best friends and it was supposed to stay that way for many more years.

The heavy rain that was now pouring outside was a representation of your sad heart. For once, you were alone - with your thoughts being lost, now more than ever, as you sat there listening to the piercing droplets of water hitting your window. 

A loud knock on your door was enough to bring you back to reality. You wondered who it could have been considering that it’s late and your friends would usually text you before coming uninvitedly.

With every step you took towards the door, the knocks also became more ferocious, a sound of desperation can be heard. Looking through your peephole, you saw him. Tom was standing right there, the only thing separating you guys was the wooden door. His orange hoodie clinging to him, and his hair all wet as he shivers and you assumed that he was out in the rain longer than he should have been.

If it was any other day, you wouldn't have opened the door, but as you look at him, desperately struggling to find warmth, you couldn't help but let in the light you have lost.

“What are you doing here?” you say exasperatedly. Instead of answering, he engulfed you in a tight hug, and you realized how cold he felt, his teeth quietly chattering by your ear.

“Come inside,” you say pulling him in, leading him to sit on your couch. You quickly turned, about to make your way to the room that once belonged to Tom, when a hand grips your wrist, holding on to you like it was the last time.

“Don't go, please,” Tom whispers out. You look at him, your eyes softening, “i’ll be back okay, i’m just gonna get you some dry clothes,” you comforted the boy as he slowly lets go of you, a look of uncertainty clear in his eyes.

You quickly make your way to the dresser that held Tom’s clothes, grabbing him one of his dry t-shirts and a pair of grey sweats. As you made your way back to the living room however, he was already standing under the doors archway, intently watching you. You take him in and noticed the tired expression on his face. His eyes that were once full of life were dull and puffy, almost like he had been crying. Bags underneath them and you wondered what has kept the boy from sleeping at night.

“Here, change into this,” you ordered, giving him his clothes as he did what he was told. You’ve seen Tom in his underwear way too many times for it to be awkward, however you still looked away as he was changing, giving him some privacy.

Taking a seat on the cold bed, your back against Tom, you stare out the window, watching the rain fall. Slowly, the other side of the bed sunk and you realized that Tom has taken a seat next to you. Arm to arm, both of you guys just admiring the scenery ahead.

“I’ve missed this,” Tom weakly mumbled. The last time you guys were both in this room was the night that ruined it all and you wondered if tonight will hold similar results. Knowing that you shouldn’t even be talking to him, you remained quiet.

“I’ve missed you,” he continued. You can tell he was looking at you now but you didn't want to act upon it.

He grabs your hand and takes it in his, letting the feeling linger for a second before you pulled away. “Tom, please,” you whispered, “don't do this to me.”

“I’m sorry y/n, but i have to know,” he says softly, before slowly grabbing your face, making you turn to him. He pushes your hair out of your eyes as he slowly leans in, giving you a small kiss. Your eyes opened, you watch the boy, as you let him kiss you. Somehow you were unable to move, captured by his trance. The way his slightly chapped lips quickly brushed on to yours made you feel alive again, but none of this was making sense and you were frustrated.

“I love you,” he whispered, a small smile place upon his lips and that's when you lost it.

“What the fuck are you doing tom?” you snarled as you got up from the bed, looking down at him as he remained seated.

His smile disappearing once he realized what he had done, he tried to explain himself, “I-”

“No! Ok, y-you can't do that!” you yelled, tears welling up in your eyes.

“y/n-” he tries again.

“What are you trying to do? Are you trying to hurt me?” you scoffed, nervously prancing around the room, your hands sweeping through your hair as you tried to calm yourself down.

“No, im -” another failed attempt at trying to talk to you.

“Tom, i asked for one thing, please, stop. This hurts too much.” you sniffled out as tears made its way down your face, “you can't just come back after 2 months and tell me youre in love with me when you made it clear that you were infatuated with her!” you continued as he watched you. His heart breaking at the mess you guys have made.

“What? Did she not like you back!?” you yelled, furious at the actions the boy decided to take.

“No -” he shot back, quickly defending himself.

“So now that you can't have her, y-you're running back to me, because you know! You know i would take you in in a heartbeat,” you accused, interrupting him, your hands waving all over the place.

“y/n, no-” he says, butting in, another attempt to get you to stop talking.

“And here i am doing exactly what you thought i was going to do, god!, i’m so stupid!” you shouted, out of breath, as you shake your head, your hands going up to your hair.

“y/n please -” he cried out, trying to get you to stop, at this point he was crying too, both of you sounding like a broken record.

“You know i tried,” you spoke.  “i tried to get over you Tom, i really did. I went on dates, everything,” you revealed, “… but my heart still screams your name -”

“y/n stop,” Tom warned.

Not bothering to wipe your tears, you cried out “I never wanted this! everyday i wonder why it had to be you! Out of everyone, why do i have to be in love with someone who never saw me! I-”

You were rudely interrupted as his lips crashed onto yours, shutting you up. This time the kiss was rough and passionate and this time you kissed him back. Your back hitting the wall as the taste of cherry chapstick and salted tears created a combination that you both craved. Your hands going up to his hair, Tom deepened the kiss. Lips hungrily moving in perfect sync - almost like they were made for each other.

After awhile, you finally pull away, stopping the moment before it can get any further. “This isn't fair Tom,” you let out as you broke down into his shoulders. Tom hugs you tightly, gently rubbing your back to soothe you. Hearing your cries made him realize how badly he has hurt you and he couldn't help but let a couple of tears escape his eyes.

Once your cries started dying down, he broke the silence between you guys, “how the hell did we get this broken?”

You look at him, staring into his eyes. “Why are you here?” you mumbled, asking him the same question for the second time that night.

“Because it's you.” he declared.

“What about Zendaya?” you questioned.

“She's great,” he took a pause, waiting to see if you would cut him off again, but as you remained silent, he continued “but if she was to disappear from my life right now, I could still live.” he professed.

Not knowing where he was going with this, you look up at him nodding for him to go on. “Once i let you walk away from me at the beach, i knew i messed up,” he explained, “i'm sorry it took me so long to realize it,” he continued.

“Realize what?” you asked. You once thought that you had a chance and you didn't want to give yourself the same false expectations. You needed to hear it from him.

“If you leave me, I don't know how much longer I can take it,” he hummed, closing his eyes as he lays his forehead against yours.

“What do you mean?” you whispered, letting out a breath.

“I can't live without you y/n. I’m in love with you” he proclaimed. Tom held your face in his hands like you were the most fragile thing in the world, wiping your tears away as he repeated the actions he had taken during that unforgettable night.

“I love everything about you, the way your forehead crinkles when you're thinking real hard or when you're mad,” slowly he gave you a kiss on the forehead.

“I love your eyes that seems to scream my name,” he continued, kissing away the remaining tears that have escaped your now tired eyes.

“You’re cute nose and the way they scrunch up in distaste,” he added, softly chuckling as he placed a soft kiss on the top of your nose.

Finally, “I love your lips, the only ones in the world that could drive me crazy,” he finished, looking deep in your eyes, as he leaned in placing a sweet kiss upon your lips. Feeling all the emotions that the boy felt for you in that one soft kiss, you knew that this time, it was real.

This was how it was supposed to go. This is what you had imagined in your head. This is what you wanted to happen that night. But life is tricky that way. As the saying goes, you have to lose something in order to truly understand its value. It might have taken a while but after six years and two months, the boy that you have fallen madly in love with has finally found his way to you.

The End 

(forreal this time, i don't know what else to do with this)

(a/n): sorry for so many of these but i just wanted to say, it has been so much fun writing this for you guys. Seeing all of your comments fueled me into wanting to continue this story, which originally was supposed to only be a oneshot. To the anon that requested this: thank you so much! and for all of you who read it, from the bottom of my fucking heart, thank you ❤️

my requests are open so dont be afraid to pop in and ask :)