#catstarion

“Astarion? Love?”

Still no answer.

You quickly walk to the bedroom, and as you open the door, a wave of relief washes over you.

Here he is, lying nonchalantly on the bed, his back comfortably resting against the heavy pillows.

“Oh, hi, my love!” You breathe, your former panic turning into enthusiasm. You’re about to step right to him when he gives you that look. Judgmental, arrogant and cold. You know it all too well from the first weeks of your adventure together. Disapproval.

 You stop in your tracks and tilt your head, expecting him to say something. But he doesn’t. Instead Astarion focuses on the book on his lap. Well, “focusing” might be an exaggeration, since his eyes are just staring at the pages without following the words.

Unwilling to insist, you stand where you are awkwardly. “Is everything all right?”

He glances up at you for a second, his features still impassible, and returns to the pages without a word.

You’re confused, and your mind races like mad as you try to understand what could explain his silence and obvious frustration.

You can’t find anything, so you decide to give him some room. “I’ll fix myself a drink, do you need anything, dear?” You ask, a soft, inviting smile on your lips.

He shrugs.

“Well, I’ll be right here… if you change your mind.”

Your voice is hesitant, but you manage to repress most of your confusion.

Back in the main room, you’re enjoying a glass of wine when Astarion finally leaves the bedroom. He steps in your direction, slowly getting closer to your frame, and you find yourself expecting a hug. But as the vampire spawn reaches you, he sniffs, nostril dilated and his tongue peaking behind his pale lips. It lasts a few seconds which feel like an eternity before he crosses his arms over his chest.

“You smell weird.” He says, gazing at your form from head to toe, before stepping away to pour himself a glass.

Frowning, you press your nose against your shoulder to smell yourself. You can’t detect any particular scent, but your senses aren’t as sharp as his.

“Let me finish my drink, and I’ll take a bath.” you answer awkwardly, but he doesn’t react. Instead, he sips on his wine while staring at you with inquisitive eyes.

You try to keep on smiling, but it’s becoming difficult and you can already feel your lips turning into a weird wince.

“So… Where were you?” Astarion eventually asks after a heavy silence.

You open your mouth, ready to tell him everything that happened during your trip, when he swiftly raises his hand and shakes it as to dismiss your answer.

“No.. You know what, darling? I don’t care.”

And with that, he empties his glass in one single swallow, and walks back to the bedroom.

Taking in his former remark about your smell, you decide to go wash yourself immediately. Before long, you’re in the corner of the bedroom, where the bathtub stands. A simple spell was enough to warm up the water, and you undress carefully before stepping into it.

Astarion is on the bed again, his back resting against the headboard. He stares at you, but not with his usual appreciative way. No, he isn’t enjoying the sight of the curves and ridges of your silhouette. He’s staring at your face, a frown on his handsome brow, and he’s shaking his head.

“Hm. I’ll probably smell less ‘weird’ now”, you smile tentatively, as the soap bubbles over your skin.

Hed doesn’t answer.

Your shrug and keep on cleaning yourself thoroughly under Astarion’s stern gaze.

Clean and dry, you pick up some fresh garments and hear Astarion move on the bed behind you.

“Are you all right?” You try again.

The vampire answers you with a hiss, pointy fangs almost grazing against his lower lip. “How am I supposed to feed myself if you’re not around?!”

After a gasp of surprise. So that's what it is about?

You spread your arms in a sign of confusion and powerlessness. “Can you not hunt on your own?”

“It’s not the same.”

You begin to understand.

There is a childish pout on his face which looks way too adorable, but you bite back your giggle and tilt your head. “I’m back now, my love.”

He hisses again and turns around on the bed, arms wrapped around his knees, and you decide to give him some more space.

The main room is comfortable enough with its fireplace and cushiony sofa. You sit down with a book, the one you found during your errand. An old, rare volume.

It only takes a few minutes before Astarion joins you on the sofa.

You side-eye him as he pretends to ignore your presence. When you finally reach out to put a gentle hand on his shoulder, he hisses at you again, rolls his eyes, and stands up with a sigh to sit on the opposite chair.

There’s no reason to take it personally. Astarion can be reluctant to be touched, you know that. “Sorry, my love.”

He clicks his tongue and ignores you as you try to catch his gaze with your eyes. Instead, the vampire looks at the table, on which dry quills and drops of ink are dispatched, scraps of paper and letters, but also needles and threads. “I made a mess while you were away, I hope you’ll clean that up…”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. This is so unlike him, but you understand what's at stake. He wants you to feel how upset he is. It’s hard to not be amused by his childlike behaviour, but it’s also getting a little tiresome… but how could you be mad at him when the pout on his lips looks so cute?

You can deal with the silent treatment, even if it seems unfair.

He picks up the comb lying with the mess on the table and starts to slowly run it through his hair. There’s a loving smile on your lips as you watch him brush the silky silver locks but the moment he catches your appreciative glance, Astarion winces and mimed a silent “what?”

“Nothing, love. I’m just happy to be back.”

An exasperated sigh tumbles down his lips, and he shakes his head in the most dramatic way. You have to bite your lip to keep in the chuckle that threatens to escape.

You sink back into the sofa, hiding your amused face behind the book as he keeps on doing his hair, stylizing the curls with expert care. It’s difficult to blame him for his brooding, if not impossible. Not just because he’s particularly cute with that disapproving pout, but also because you know it’s his own way to communicate a frustration he can’t put into words.

It’s only a question of time. Of patience.

All you have to do in the meantime, is to avoid revealing how adorable you find him. 

When he’s done combing his hair, Astarion pours himself another glass of wine and complains loudly because the bottle is almost empty.

“There’s another one in the cupboard, love.” You say with a detached voice, your eyes never leaving your book. “Do you want me to get it for you?”

In lieu of an answer, you hear another long sigh, and can almost feel his gaze on you. You fight hard against the desire to stare back at him. A challenge you struggle to win. But you do, and you smile to yourself.

For the next half hour, you hear him come and go behind you, striding through the main room or walking to the bedroom only to come back a few minutes later to stroll around the sofa. You try hard to not pay any attention to him, despite the need to have him close.

Eventually, he sits back next to you, his legs folded beneath him and his hands on his lap. There’s a soft smile on your lips but this time, you don’t try to touch him.

You feel his eyes wandering over the book you’re reading, curious glances which pull him a little closer to you.

“It’s about all kind of infernal devices. I hope to find something that would help Karlach.” You explain as you slightly tilt the volume so that he can read it.

“Did you steal it?” He eventually asks, his voice barely a cautious whisper.

You shrug, but your smile is turning into a little smirk. “Not exactly… Do you want me to tell you how I got it?”

He huffs. “No. Because you shouldn’t need to. I should have gone with you.”

“Impossible. I told my informers I’d be alone.”

“They wouldn’t have needed to know I was there!”

You understand his irritation, the idea of not being involved in this, especially when it comes to your Tiefling friend. But you wouldn’t have taken the risk. “That’s true. But lying to them could have jeopardized the whole plan.”

Another eyeroll. Another sigh. He’s smart enough to understand your decision, but resents it nonetheless.

Crossing his arms, he rests against the back of the sofa, his shoulder pressed against yours as if seeking your touch without making it too obvious.

You pretend not to notice it, and pinch your lips to keep yourself from grinning. After a few minutes, Astarion’s hand moves to your arm, and his fingers start to toy with your sleeve, his thumb softly stroking the fabric and barely touching your skin. He keeps his eyes on it, casually fidgeting until his fingers move from the fabric to your hand. He traces along your fingers, and you present him with your palm; a simple, silent invitation. He takes it. Now you can smile.

 “It doesn’t mean I forgive you for leaving me, you know…”

Closing the book and putting it away, you turn to look at him, your free hand resting on his arm. “I didn’t leave you, Astarion. I was just gone for two days.”

“Without me.”

  “Aren’t you more comfortable here than meeting with strangers in the middle of nowhere?”

“More comfortable, maybe…” He nods with approval. “But it quickly becomes dull if there’s no one around to humour me.”

You chuckle as your fingers intertwined with his. “You could have headed out and find some entertainment in a tavern or something.”

“Boring. Especially if you’re not around.”

“If it makes you feel better, know that those two days without you were quite boring for me too.”

Raising up his chin, Astarion glances at you as to make sure you’re not lying. He must be convinced, since a soft smile crawls upon his lips, and his eyes begin to shine again with what seems to be satisfaction.

His fingers leave your hand and his body shifts on the sofa so he can rest his head on your lap; a quiet demand you immediately understand. With careful movements, you begin to brush the silver curls on his brow, tugging them behind his ear, fingers dancing softly across his scalp and through the silky strands. 

This time, the sigh that leaves his lips is a sigh of contentment. You can almost feel him purr against your thighs.

“You must have missed me so much, darling.” He smiles, closing his eyes as his muscles start to relax.

“Of course I did.” You whisper, amused although you can’t help finding him rather touching. “I always do when we’re not together.”

“Good.” The vampire smirks, his arm wrapping tightly around your leg. “That should teach you a lesson for leaving me behind.”

You keep on stroking his hair. You did miss him, missed this. The safe space you have created together.

“Darling…?” He eventually whispers, his eyes now closed.

“Yes, love?”