#cassus

nothing real makes me feel anything anymore

only songs that remind me of when things were clear

when something meant something

June 7, 2025:

Bubblegum Primary, Gaoler, Wish.

I haven’t talked extensively about my characters and I’ve never posted any writing on here before, but this felt like a good place to start. This scene in particular would make more sense in the context of the full plot, but by itself reveals a lot about the characters of Jace and Cassus :)

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jace x little talks by of monsters and men

i don’t like walking around this old and empty house

so hold my hand i’ll walk with you my dear

Jace wandered through the halls of the palace, completely and utterly lost.

Tiles and columns and hallways that should have been as familiar to him as the back of his hand seemed to stretch on endlessly, twisting and turning into a maze of whitewashed walls.

Even worse was the emptiness- not a single soul in any room that he checked- and an eerie silence broken only by the sound of his own footsteps.

He told himself not to panic. The palace wasn’t so big that he would be lost forever. Eventually he would run into a servant, or maybe even the familiar face of Ophelia. At this point, he’d even be glad to see Cassus, icy and silent as he was. Although his brother was no longer openly hostile towards him, he was reserved and melancholy, and Jace hated to think what Cassus thought of him.

Eventually, he came to a hallway that split into three directions. He could go left, right, or straight ahead. The doors leading straight were slightly different- the wood was stripped and polished instead of stained, and the handles were larger and showed more signs of use. Through the crack under the door, Jace could see the beckoning shine of daylight.

Finally!

Jace yanked on the handle. The door groaned pitifully and scraped across the marble floor, allowing sunlight to stream into the hall. Jace inhaled, allowing the fresh air to settle his nerves. Cautiously, he observed his new surroundings.

He’d entered a small, square courtyard, a quarter of the size of the main courtyard near the front of the palace. It was still sizable enough to have a small tree planted in the center, long dead but with low-hanging branches perfect for climbing. The grass under his feet was yellowish and overgrown, in need of a trim and a long-overdue sprinkle of rain. He ran his fingers through it, and his fingers met something cold and hard.

He knelt to examine the object at his fingertips. Hidden almost completely by the grass was a small wooden horse with tiny metal horseshoes and a bridle fashioned out of twine. Its paint was worn and chipped, and one of the horseshoes was missing. It was obvious that it had been well loved.

Jace felt sick.

He’d intentionally avoided the wing where the royal children- his siblings who’d never known he existed- had grown up. That was why he was so lost. This was the childrens’ courtyard. This was where they had lived. This was where they had died.

He imagined laughter echoing off the walls. He imagined brothers racing each other to the top of the tree, their little sister giggling in the grass. He imagined games of chess spread out on blankets and picnics eaten under the sun. Everything he’d missed, and everything they’d lost.

“Didn’t think I’d find you here.”

The horse slipped out of his fingers and was lost once again to the overgrown lawn.

Cassus’s brows furrowed as he noticed the distant expression on Jace’s face. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Jace blinked, finally processing the fact that Cassus was standing in front of him. It was strange to see him there- wreathed in the afternoon light, looking almost angelic- when he was the reason that this place that once held such joy was now empty and dying.

“What are you doing here?” he asked hesitantly.

Cassus laughed sharply. “It’s my palace.” After a brief pause, he continued, “Ophelia noticed you were missing and sent me to find you. Walked the whole palace before I got here. I figured you’d avoid this place.”

“I didn’t come here on purpose,” Jace replied crossly. He edged past his brother and ran his fingers along the bark of the tree. “What did it look like, when it was alive?”

“A tree,” Cassus replied, deadpan.

“What color were the leaves? Did it have any blossoms? Fruit? Did you ever climb it when you were-?”

“I’d rather not discuss this right now,” Cassus interrupted, tension rising in the tone of his voice. “You were gone, and I found you, so let’s just get out of here. This place gives me the creeps.”

There were layers of emotion in his brother’s voice that Jace couldn’t even begin to describe. Not for the first time, Jace pitied Cassus. He hated that he couldn’t see this place’s potential to become beautiful again, to bloom again, to echo with laughter again. He hated that the palace only reminded Cassus of pain and sorrow and death.

Perhaps he could change that.

He offered his brother his hand as he rejoined him in the doorway. Cassus regarded it coldly.

“I’m not holding your hand.”

Jace smiled. “Are you sure? I might wander off again. And then you’ll have to walk through the whole palace to find me. Wouldn’t that be tragic?”

Cassus rolled his eyes. “If you’ll be quiet the rest of the way back…”

Jace raised his eyebrows and offered his hand again. Cassus took it. His hand was shaking.

As always, Jace was astounded by how well Cassus hid his emotions. He had always been able to read people so easily until he’d met his brother. But now, with their fingers entwined as they made their way back to the familiar parts of the palace, Jace could tell that Cassus was afraid.

He was afraid of his past; the empty palace, the eerie quiet of the courtyard, the abandoned toys in the grass.

He was afraid of the present; in this moment, holding hands with the last remaining piece of his family, their relationship as fragile as a thin sheet of ice on a roaring river.

But most of all, he was afraid of the future; afraid that he would destroy everything good that was left in his life, afraid that the ghosts of his family would haunt him forever.

Jace squeezed Cassus’s fingers, trying to tell him that he was not alone, that they would walk through the emptiness and the fragility and the fear together.