Genuinely losing my goddamn mind lads
For weeks my mother has been insisting that I should do two subjects next semester, and telling me that I’d only be allowed to go back to Melb at all if I studied two subjects simultaneously. And when I asked if I could study remotely for a sem and then finish my degree next year in Melb she complained about how inconvenient it’d be since we’ve already sorted accommodation
Anyway, I had a psych appointment today where my psych was like, ‘I’m concerned that if you go back to Melb next sem you’ll struggle a lot and not have an enjoyable time, since you’re already in the first stages of shutdown from stress, and it’d be very easy for you to fall into the pattern of shutting down due to being overwhelmed. I think it’d be much better if you studied one subject from home this semester, and go back to Melb at the beginning of next year to finish your degree. I’m happy to recommend this to your mother if you’d like me to.’
I wasn’t really going to take her up on it, since I didn’t want to deal with the emotional fallout of my mother being like, ‘you’re such a burden, this is so inconvenient, this is so annoying, you’re so uncooperative’ etc etc. But I was curious abt how my mother would respond, so when I got back from my psych appointment, I told my mother, ‘My psych is very worried and she wants me to do one subject this semester from home, before finishing my degree next year.’
AND MY MOTHER, WHO HAS BEEN HIGHLY RESISTANT TO ALL OF MY SUGGESTIONS THAT I’D LIKE TO DO ONE SUBJECT. WAS LIKE. ‘OH, THAT MIGHT BE BETTER ACTUALLY. SURE. LET’S TALK TO YOUR FATHER ABOUT IT TONIGHT’
And then had the gall to be like, ‘I wish you’d said you were struggling sooner.’ Like? I literally did?? I’ve been telling you for weeks that I’d prefer to do one subject since I think I’ll really struggle with two??? I’ve been saying I’m having a tough time and you ignored me and told me to let you know what date I’m going back to Melb to study next sem!
So on the one hand I’m like, wow, ok, I guess my mother is finally listening to me now that my psych is backing me up. But on the other hand I’m like. What the actual fuck is going on